punkinvine

I'm a 51 year old guy that has spent the better part of three decades letting my weight define me. It was always a convenient excuse for anything that went wrong - health, problems at work (fat haters...), relationship issues. etc. A dozen years ago i married a wonderful woman who opened my eyes to this, but it still took me until this year to finally do something about it. Actually, it took my body saying enough, through ever growing pains, high blood pressure and sleep apnea to leave me no choice (if I wanted to have any semblance of quality of life, that is)
 
So, I bit the bullet and decided in late May to have WL surgery. I opted for a sleeve and had the surgery July 29. I am 5"10" tall and weighed 347.8 lbs when I made the decision, and after the two week liquid diet my surgery weight was 331.8. Two months and lots of effort later, I weighed in this morning at 288.2! The journey has not been easy, but really worth it.
 
Along the way, I have begun to exercise regularly (I bought an old Nordic Track and have been using it religiously every day), have fought my food desires (mostly successfully) and recognized that the surgery was only the first phase. I have tried eating what I should not or in ways I shouldn't (bread, pasta, too much or too fast) and suffered the pain and nausea (who though such a little sleeve could make you feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad).
 
I have also had the joy of watching old clothes disappear almost as quickly as the weight. I have obsessed at the scale and fretted over stalls and, God forbid - weight gain. I have watched my friends and family eat heartily and felt the the pangs of remorse. But the I would get up (without pain or strain) and realize that I had indeed embarked on a new life. As I moved around more freely, the regret would slip away.
 
Sorry for the rambling, but at this point, it's a jumble of feelings that I am trying to organize and understand. So far, the problems, while overwhelming at the moment they occur (especially when I eat what I shouldn't or too fast), rapidly fade in comparison to how good I am feeling and how mobile I have become. I remain committed to this journey. Wish me luck!!!!

'Twas the night before surgery and all through the house everything was quiet even this mouse!
 
Well in 12 hours I will be leaving for the hospital to begin a new chapter in my life.
I never thought this was a road I would be taking but here I am nevertheless.
It has been an eye opening journey so far.
 
My pre-op diet turned out to be a total success. For 14 days I followed all the rules and directions of my surgeon and nutritionist. It was a positive experience and actually taught me a lot about myself. I can do what I must even when it puts me in an uncomfortable spot. I've re-learned what TRUE hunger is and I now have a better and more intimate understanding of what head hunger is and feels like. I wonder why I never strayed for these past 2 weeks and then I came to this conclusion. Besides laying on that operating table for the surgery, I have one job...and one job only. Shrink my liver! Well, I figure since they need to move it a bit I could at least make it as lean and non-slippery as possible. I've read many posts lately about how people are falling off the "pre-op wagon" and that its okay because after all if we could stay on a 2week diet we wouldn't need weight loss surgery would we....those posts really got to me. But in the end, I am only responsible for me and my body. I've abused it enough over the past 44 years so i figured I could do it right for 14 days at least. So I am not saying I am any better than the next person, because I surely am not....but perhaps people should think about those goldfish or that cheeseburger....is it really worth it....ummm, for me....NO. And please know, with a 3 and 6 year old I made it thru making lunches (with extra peanut butter on the knife)...lots of snacks (some with just a cookie or two left in the bag)...and meals (nothings better than leftover mac and cheese from my kids' plates). I lived my life and made it work because I HAD TO!
 
I've learned more about fear and uncertainty...constantly wondering if this was a good decision, the right decision, what may or may not happen before, during and after surgery. Will I love it....will my band be good to me...will i be good to it???....will I have success like so many here. Lots and lots of unanswered questions.
 
I've learned more about support and friendship. I've met many nice people, on this forum and in person, and am happy to now call several of them friends. It's nice to have a place to go and people who support you. A place like this...a place to come and not be judged....for what you look like or how "large" you are. That's a rare thing in todays cruel society.
 
I sit here on my couch feeling very calm and at peace and it bothers me a little that I am not more nervous...since that is my nature. Granted, my one and only concern....and its a biggy....is I just want to wake up from this surgery and know that I will see my babies again. I know that I will...I've come this far and all of this has happened for a reason. For me, I'm going to take each new day as it comes....each one is a gift and I am walking forward on this journey with good thoughts and the hopes of positive things to come.
 
Tomorrow's a new day! A day to celebrate a new and healthier me!
I want this...I want it bad.
I'm willing to work and following what I must.
I'm willing to take responsibility for me and my new little friend that will soon become a part of me!
 
Sometimes it takes a lot of faith and a lot of work....I'm ready for both!

I chose to have my surgery at this time as with Christ, he died and rose again and all was anew! This is my approach to my weight loss surgery...I want to rid my body of all this excess weight and let only positive people in my life, no naysayers or gossipist...so this is the blog where the old Lori dies and the new Lori is born anew.
I have a large family..I am the 7th of 8 girls. I can tell you that being in a family of this size and nature that we all dont get along, this is a vow to my new me....no more negativity and only positive.
I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter, her boyfriend is such a pain in the a$$ and I have chosen to not deal with him and with that I will be in need of constant prayer!
Life is too short to have to deal with jealousy and hateful people. Thanks for listening!

I love me some Italian food, but Italian food tends to be calorie loaded and heavy. I have been wanting Chicken Alfredo lately, but knew I shouldn't. So I attempted to make it from scratch tonight and it was fabulous. Here is the recipe that I came up with:
 
Pasta-
Spaggetti Squash cooked in the microwave
 
 
Chicken-
4 chicken tenders sautéed in a skillet with olive oil
 
Alfredo Sauce-
3 cloves of garlic minced (use more if you like or less)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons I Can't Believe it's not Butter
1.5 heaping tablespoons of all purpose flour
1 3/4 cups 2% Milk (you can use 1% I just had 2%)
splash of balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon of splenda
 
put the evoo, butter and garlic in a sauce pan cook on med heat for about 3 min stiring
add the flour and stir until incorporated
add milk and bring to a boil
add salt, pepper, vigegar and splenda and stir
 
cut heat off and let sit
 
chop half a bag of baby spinach (I used the ninja chopper I have)
 
Once chicken is cooked add the sauce (if it is to thick add water to thin it down). Add in spinach and stir. Stread spaggetti squash with a fork add to chicken and sauce and stir.
 
Eat and enjoy!!
 
 
This was a WONDERFUL meal!! The hubs and I both enjoyed it. It was enough for him and myself to eat dinner and have lunch tomorrow (He eat bigger portions than me)
 
 

So I got out my measuring cup put one cup of water in it and then got out one of my tuber ware bowels and poured the water in there and was surprised it fit. So Thats what I well be eating out of.

I watched the end of The Biggest Loser and the man voted off said, I did not want another man to raise my son. I loved that. I don't want another woman with my husband or her wearing my jewelry and being grammie to my grandsons. So I can quote him too. I now know I am doing something to keep me around longer.
Enjoy your day. Have a happy Fat Tuesday to all who celebrate.

I have signed up for a 5k. I have 6 weeks to get ready. 6 months ago I would have never even considered it. Yey Me!!!!!