BigA

I appreciate your time and input, I guess at this point it is just hard to understand what you gain since I have never had it...?? always being big is what I have always been and it is part of who I am, I guess just coming to terms with letting that go is what I am trying to working on.. I think I just accepted it as its always going to be this way.. and it really hard to reverse that in my head... My thoughts behind doing this have always been that I have nothing to loose.... but latley I have been finding more stuff that I am having dificult time letting go... and since I have no true idea I what I will gain, it feels very unnerving... its funny last night I had a long discussion in my head around BBQ.... and honestly how important it is to me... cooking and drinking beer hanging around the pit all day and just the joy of eating it after all that work.... it really made me sad to think that I wouldn't be able to do that anymore because I never considered that not being a part of who I am.... Sometimes I think I am being over dramatic, but its scary how my brain is trying to sabotage this effort... just with the thought of BBQ ??

So this is my first post, I am very pre op. I had my first consultation with my surgeon today... and I am still working on my insurance approval, hopefuly they will only require 3 months of DR. dieting.... instead of 6. I am wanting to do this to change my life.. I am 25 yrs old and feel like I am 35. I am at 349 as of today... and only 5'10 to boot. I have never lost more than 20lbs in my life and that was when I was 18 and in the gym for 4hrs a day. I have this heavy nagging feeling that this is the easy way out and I am dedicated enough just to suck it up?? I am single and succesful and have always made leeps and bonds considering my age and what I have accomplished, but I have never been able to control my weight and have a true addiction to the smell and taste of food with the stipulations of being a obese person.... My biggest concern is that I will not be able to control that and fight with all the complications that eating to fast and the eating with my head that comes with years of habit.... another large concern is my social life, which is a big part of my work and who I am.... is it true that I wont be able to drink beer again?? I guess its just hard for me to amagine a game of golf with out a cold brew ?? or things like that... and lastly how many of us have used therapy as a tool to help with the post op side of this life changing event and has it helped?? I am sorry for the long winded post, but truly appreciate any advice that can be offered.... If I can complete this procedure I am hoping for great things ahead of me.