Hi Bandaide:
I'm right there with you. I finished the first round of doctor's appointments, waiting for my letter from my PCP and my supervised diet and I'm a wreck as I wait for the insurance approvals. My nerves are more focused around, what if I can't..... get insurance to cover this, stick to the pre-op diet, lose weight after I have the procedure, maintain the weight loss.....
I find that the more I get into this, the better I do feel about it. I have talked to a few of the women in my surgeon's waiting room and felt even better after talking to them. Tomorrow I'm going to my first support group. I read the book, "The Idiot's guide to weight loss surgery" which was written by my surgeon. And I read the blogs on here that I am particularly concerned about. I feel like the more I learn about it, the more confident I become.
I was also afraid of telling people. Embarrassed by my "failures" and what they may think of me. To my surprise, while I have only told a handful of people, every one I told knew someone who had this done and said they were much happier with their decision.
It's not like we have many options out there. You are doing this for a healthier life. I look at it as if I do nothing, then either nothing will change, or more likely, I'll only weigh more. At my age, it gets MUCH harder to loose weight.
Hang in there and talk to people on here who have gone through it. Good Luck!