NYSparklegirl

Hi. all.....If you are a pre-surgery or post surgery patient....we should get together and support each other. I am scheduled for Feb 8th. Would love to hear some other experiences with Dr. Holover and staff....So far.....it has been supurb!!!!

Hi all.... To start us off....Ill begin with a little about myself. I had joined the thread Feb Bandsters...however...Ive been booted to March...as I am being treated for sleep apnea....so I needed to push back surgery date from Feb 8th to March 15th..hoping it stays there!! Im hoping to connect with others that are on a similar time frame for surgery, for support, advice, education, encouragement and just to shoot the breeze...to share experiences from the first consult if needed to way after being banded...lets get together and share this journey the good, bad and the ugly of it all!! so.....lets get to know you....by answering some questions that was asked of me before....im passing them on through this group....it was a great beginning. Ill start. Date of Surgery: March 16th Where Surgery will be: NY Doctor/Center: New York Bariatric Group Dr. Holover/Manhasset Seminar date: January 2009 1st consult date: Dec 30th, 2009 2nd consult: Feb 3rd, 2010 Consults and tests completed: Cardiologist. Pulmonologist, Endocronologist, Sleep Study, Nutritionist, Endoscopy Tests still needed: Psych test How is surgery funded? Insurance Concerns? How will I ever be able to re-educate my brain to eat differently Reason for banding? See thread in "Introductions"for NYSparklegirl.

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. When we hear that someone has passed on the first thing we say ......Baruch Dayan Emmet.......The translation is.....it is gods plan we dont know why but its his plan. My sincere condolenses to you and your family. May you and your family be consoled alongside god, friends and family at this time. if you need anything on the east coast please let me know.....If you need a car to get to PA from NY if you cant get a flight straight to philly im here and will drive you or if you are coming in early and have a stop over.....I will come get you and bring you back to airport. Of course if you have a day layover or what ever you are always welcome to stay here. Jodi

[/color] act"] Good Afternoon all..... Its a raining again in NYC....what else is new? You all seem to be having spring creeping in but....weve only had rain..and more rain....and well nooooo spring???? EVA>>>>>>>>HAPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope you enjoy the day. Today is the little boy I work withs bday as well so you share good company!! Linda.... I am soo sorry to hear about your brothers diagnosis...im sure this was a shock to you all...but the consolation if any is that you get the chance to say goodbye and to say all those things that you never had the chance. Its not much but its a little something......again my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this time. If you are passing through NY and need a place please come anytime. Lori....I hope that the meds with help. So important to take care of this problem now before it does turn into anything more serious....Feel better. Luara....Your Dad is some trouper!!! Im sure alot of his strength has passed on to you because you also demonstrate enormous strength in takeing care of everybody!! I hope he gets some respite soon and feels stronger. Sorry about the Nels situation....you might want to consider giving ball playing a break for a bit. Perhaps another sport would be a better fit....like Soccer or Basketball or even hockey...where the ball is not thrown directily at you. I know I hated baseball when I was younger but loved other sports. We all arent athletically innate to play all sports but maybe one or two.......he has to experiment and find his own. (teacher speaking here, hope you arent offended) Janet, Hope the vertigo is getting better and life will become normalized again. Never had vertigo but can be so dibiiltating so please take care and take those meds as prescribed!!! Please. Jewel....You had posted such gorgeous pics of your family!!! You all make such a fabulous family!!! Yea, about your dad.....so much for approriatenesss was your son with you at the time?? That could have been a little uncomfortable to have to explain. My family is a bit awkwards at times so I can totally relate....and im sorry...but.... YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLES ACTIONS. lol its something I need to keep in mind alot when visiting my family so perhaps it can help you as well. Karen....Hope things are calming down some!! LauraK hows things going.....rooting for you and the new friend. Lets hear about him! Melissa, I am praying that you get that lead job.....crossing those fingers as you surely can use a break. Cherri, Ive been saying a prayer for your daughter every day for a speedy and fast recovery. I know im forgetting lots of others....so please forgive its been a trying few weeks so...cant remember all! This week have been busy getting ready for passover.....its been cleaning and shopping and cleaning and shopping and then some more cleaning!!! Well....the cleaning girl thank god is doing most of the heavy cleaning...and today that will pretty much be all done!! Yea. The closets are all done, clothes changed over, giveways done and pockets and bags cleaned and organized. Blankets and all the linens being washed as we speak....lol I like that! At the laundromat. Tonight.....I will be koshering the pots and silver stuffs.....Lots still left to do......but its all coming together.... We are going to ahve the second seder by me again...so we are having the whole family plus five friends. That will be 18 all together including my mother and my father and his wife, my half brothers and my sister and all the kids and its going to be another party! WOO HOO ...not...but everyone is chipping in so I dont have to pay for this all myself which would not be able to do. Am happy to do all the cooking and table settings etc and housing.....my mom will help and my sister in law said shel make a main dish...meaning ill have to have two others because shes not the best cook lol. But appreciate the gesture! Everyone else wll bring wine and desert bought as no one else keeps Kosher. But....Have three days left to shop and get it all together before Monday morning.... Things going so nicely with Phyl. Really like him. Dassi likes him as well we spent sat night together and he will be coming over tonight for a birthday celebration together with Dassi and his son and tomorrow we will be going out alone on another real date. We speak about twice daily now and its....um really nice.....really nice. Have I said I really like him??? hmmm well ....I do. Kind of hard to do all that needs to be done this week with him on my mind but.....am a trying my hardest!!! Welll must go Have a great afternoon alll. Jodi

woops!! Made a mistake....the support group is next Thursday!! Not tonight...so peeved. I thought it was because its always the second Thursday of the month.;...well tonight is not the second its the first.....as Friday was the April 1st. Darn was all prepared and excited about it.....even have the babysitter!!! Now, What ever shall I do with the babysitter coming and all dressed to go out!!! lol Sorry about that mistake but when speaking to office...they asked for the letter to be sent to them and Dr. Garber will deliver it to Dr. Oz personally.....so if you all want to add letters and such.....send them to me and I will bring send and or bring next support group to have them forward. I did speak to Dr. Garber briefly and he was not to crazy about that segment as suspected but said wed talk about it in the group next week. SOooooooo will post after then.....its a crazy week next week for the support group before Passover on Monday as its not much time after that to get ready as things need to be ready for Friday for passover in the home. As I missed last months meeting due to Bat Mitzvah that week I didnt go so dont want to miss another one and certainly not this one coming! Melissa, Hang in there......I know what it feels like to say "you are done" ive been there as well and It isnt a pretty site but the fact of the matter is.....venting really does help and even more so getting some validation helps even more so......you need to find a support group that you can go to to talk to people face to face as well as online.....that you can reach out to at a moments notice that doesnt cost anything and works like therapy!! You need to find outside sources to support you since you feel you arent recieving the support you need at home so that you can continue to live with the support that you do get whatever that may be......Good luck!!! Every morning I get up and say.......today is going to be a good day....I forget yesturdays trials and tribulations and say today Im going to do x,y,z.......and I try the best I can to do the things that need to be done.......and I do the same every damn day until they are done. Ive still got so many things that need to get settied but know that I can only do so much on a day and my expectations cannot be too high or I will fail miserably so I do what I can...and what I cant I do not get upset...I may be frustrated but I dont feel guilty or bad about those things that couldnt get settled or done...I just go to sleep and hope that then next day I will do better at trying to get whatever done done......Planning helps....I write it all down and cross each day something out until the list is complete......so far Ive created, deleted, added and crossed out its a working list and that in itself helps!!! You might try that.....the other thing is to pray.....pray and pray some more. Someone I figure is bound to hear and if God hasnt heard my prayers someone will have and get the message somehow to him at some point....... The problem with this theory for me is that...its quite possible that I do get responses and answers but they arent the ones that I would have liked....they could have been totally different and my challenge is to see them even if they arent what I was asking but giving me something else...and accepting those things and the ability to recognize that!! Im stubborn but have learned that God is in charge ultimately and we are just have to go with him......or else life will be even harder! lol. The saying we plan and God Laughs always resonates with me big time on a daily basis!!! I hope this give you some strength to get through this difficult time. I had a visit last night.....Phyl came over for desert which he brought as well....not for me for Dassi and .....he brought his son so that everyone can meet.....he had dinner with his parents a few towns over and asked if this would be a good idea....and I thought well heck why not.....His son is adorable and sooo smart. Too smart lol. Not used to kids being "gifted" So that was a pretty interesting. Hes 3 and a half...Him and Dassi had a great time...They stayed for about an hour and half we played together and had desert....and it was nice. Phyl called latter at night to say that they both had a very enjoyable time with us and cant wait to see me again....with the kids and alone......hahhhehhehe....Nice. Might see him Sat night or Sunday. We shall see. Will keep you all posted. Okay must run have a great day! Sorry again about the support group! Jodi

Hi Everyone.... Good Morning....another dreary blah day in NYC....yuch however....am very anxious to go to our support group meeting tonight to chat with our Dr. Sean Garber....about the Oz show. Im sure there will lots to talk about and outraged lapbanders there!!! Firstly.......I watched the episode on Tuesday night and wow.....what a bad representation of what life after banding is really about.....Unfortunately the doctors who were on the show....were not able to respond to these woman on that segment...I know that had Garber been aware of what that presentation looked like he would have not done the show as it was deff misguided ill informed and totally purposterous. The woman on the left who showed at least real food and real Protein in each meal was much more realistic then the woman who is after a year or so eating like she just was banded a week or so ago......This is how we ate the first week...after that it was solids. We are told over and over.....proteins first, veggies second and very little carbs if room for at all. 4-6 oz of some hard protein each meal and at least 60 gr of protein a day and 64 oz of Water....3-4 days of exercize....where was that in the life after banding??? That girl was certainly not getting her protein in.....cant imagine her having enough energy to exercise...and if thats all she can eat as she said......or shel throw up...well damn girl you are tooooooooo wayyyyyy tight!!!!! We are also told consistantly....that we need to eat healthy....not starve!!! The reason for getting banded is to get healthy not malnurished. We are told we are to be able to eat with the rest of the family at regular times regular food making good food choices. If I came to the office as I had done in the past..before having that last fill taken out.....and said.....I cant eat more then....x amt, Im geting stuck, I threw up once, I have reflux, I had the hicups, I cant eat with my family because i dont eat like them, I get sick, I am eating other times.....well....the answer is NO NO NO NO so not good, not healthy and they will take some out...do some tests, start with the ntritionist etc etc. They want us eatling three meals daily and skipping the Snacks. The philosophy is........if you eat three healthy meals daily and eat your 60 grms pt. drink 64 oz and exercise thts healthy living!!! When I told Dr, G I was eating soft foods that time for about a week thats all it took for them to insist that I was too tight.....and to do the barium to make sure no slippage occured. So..... those woman were not from the New York Bariatric Center......that im sure about. Im also sure that they didnt give Dr.Garber more air time because he was probably going to want to talk about these things above and they didnt want him to......as he really wasnt included much and I saw he rushed to get all the positive basics in....the first two doctors were the ones Oz focussed on more him and the other refuting doctor. SO...have a feeling we will have a story here tonight!!!! I would like to print out your letter to Oz Linda and share it with Dr. Garber and the support group tonight....btw you cant also contact him throught he website I gave posted as well and send him the letters and I know he will get them to Dr. Oz personally.....that might be something to think about as well. I will let you all know what the outcome of this meeting will be when I get home!!! If anyone wants to relay and questions or anything before I go....send me a message by email or facebook or here....althought dont always get my posts forwarded sometimes.....the site is wacky like that! lol Okay all have a great day!! Jodi

Hi....in my orrginial post that got lost this morning.....I wanted to post the website for Dr. Garber and the New York Bariatric Group. Its a website much like this one but doesnt have this thread or you wonderful people so have never really personally utilized it but may be helpful to check out. http://www.stopobesityforlife.com I love the practice and what it offers....its not just a surgery and fill site......they have all the doctors and PAs that moniter closely the patients before during and after care. You are a part of the groups family. Dr. Garber and Dr. Holover along with the PAs social worker, psychologist and nutritionist attend the once monthly support group meetings that I go to....I like the fact you are seing everyone in an informal way and that your not under pressure all the time to rememeber everything you need to talk about during monthly checkups but can discuss here informallly not only knowledgeable but personable as well. You get alot more information at these support group meetings. It doesnt hurt that hes so good looking as well!!! lol. Okay....well then must run. Have a great day. Jodi

Opps.....lost that post somehow!!! So peeved! Okay well dont have time to repost now.... My surgeon was the doctor on Dr. Oz yesturday.....Dr. Sean Garber. Will post a little later about him and the practice. I love him. Not only does he know what hes talking about but he treats each of the patients as family. Well cant reiterate all that I posted...but perhaps another time. Have a great day...... grrrrrr I hate when this happens! Jodi

Hi all..... Hope everyone had a fabulous day and played a few pranks more then got played themeselves on!! Its Friday night and Dassi is at my parents for shabbos and ive finially had some quiet time to think, contemplate and organize my messy room!! Have not begun to change over the spring clothes from winter and im thinking nows a good time to start!!! I Love diet books and cook books that talk about healthy foods and such.....the one book that really helped me loose the 80lbs so far is called "The diet solution" stop dieting, start eating and start living...by Isabel De los Rios......you can look at it at www.TheDietSolutionProgram.com. What I loved about this program is it tells you what you should be eating and doing....and how to do it and if you decide to not eat the correct way...then what you should be eating the next best ways.....for instance lets take ummmm Sugar for example....She will give you a paragraph or to as to what sugar is and what it does to your body in this case it would be make you gain weight, fat, develop focus and attention deficitts, hyperactivrty and the whys.....she will do the same with good foods for you and tell you whys of how they can benefit you....then she will go on to tell you all the different forms sugar takes and what to look for in products...that try to fool you into thinking that there is no sugar...then she will talk about....how to eat sugar, the whens, whys and in what substititutions if you feel you need to eat it in the best way possible that it will do the least harm....... I like it because it gives me the alternatives, and says "yes" you can have the "what evers" and not deny yourself....just do it in the best possible way!!! She also talks about the importance of exercise along with food watching............the premise is to get healthy, eat good whole foods and exercise daily............in fact.....you all talking about books and all....have prompted me to get back to basics and brought out the program again and starting from the beginnning once again!!!! Thank you....its the kick in the butt I needed.....and now that spring is in the air its time to start excersing again!!!!! outside....I ened a bycycle and so does Dassi....so Sunday will start looking around! I said I would keep everyone posted about the tuition and camp etc situation.....so here goes it. No dice for reversing the decision. My lawyer spole to the court and the response was not good. The judge is standing in his decision..and he feels it is his job to make sure that the child has money when she reaches 18 thats the final decision. Well ive go to words for him....but there is nothing to be done. I did make some phone calls as embarrassing as they might have been.....actually three and need to make at least two more.....but can only feel embarrassed so much in one week....need to spread it out so I wont completely loose it!! The first was to the community Rabbi....who is the rabbi that I speak to most in the community where we go to services and are a member of the shul. He and his wife was at the Bat Mitzvah as well. I called him and boy was he pissed, but again he knows nothing of the system soooo he said what he can do for me is two things......one is help with passover right now that he can do right away which will relieve some pressure for the next two weeks so not to have to worry about that....(didnt even get to thinking about passover yet because of all this so he was right about that) wasnt sure what he meant but he asked for my address again and the last time he did that he sent me a check for 500 dollars for food which was really helpful three years ago...so I think this was what he meant..that is nice and so appreciated. The next thing was to tell me that im not alone and that we will work through all this together and think of options and make them happen. Firstly letting HALB know what occured and if they demand money or say she cannnot be enrolled again.....that I must phone him emmediately and he will make sure they do no such thing....he promises they will not kick her out. That to me is the biggest consolation....because I know he means to do what he says always so.....he has alot of clout and the biggest supporters of the school in the community are members of his shul...soooo I guess he knows who to talk to to pull support etc etc if they do something like this....makes me feel alot more secure....didnt help that I cried on the phone mercilesslessly but I just was so touched by this......and the third was to contact an organization that he said could help with other options....sooooo the next call was to the school....I left a message with the information for the director and he hasnt phoned me back as of yet however, by this time I know they are full aware of the situation from several sources,....and not looking forward to them getting back to me at all.....im so embarrassed by it all. Bottom Line is that its not my fault that this occured it is out of my control and unexpected and I could only be sorry about it but I should be embarrased for myself.....so why do I???? Why???? but it is an embarrasing situation no matter whos to blame.....the fact is that I dont have enough on my own to pay for it all and that is what is embarrassing! okay...enough! the next phone call was to this organization that was soooo amazingly compassionate and made me feel so much better was the Rabbi who ran the organization who took my call immediately and listened.....and of course when I started to break down he said please...please dont get upset because if you get upset I will get upset at myself for making you feel the need to get upset....I just had to laugh at that.....after that....we had an amazing conversation. What a fabulous person.....and he as well wanted to reasure me that HALB was not going to kick her out that he had many connections and will make sure that this year is taken care of totally that was the first thing he said he was going to do....the second was that he agreed that even though camp was a little expensive it was important like the school she stay there and he would get help for this as well for this summer and the money owed to my mother he would get together right away from funds....because this was most pertinenet at this moment with passover coming and extra expense of it. hmmm. He then went on to assure me that I have nothing to feel bad about, be embarrassed about or in any way guilty for what happened.....and so on and so on.....and I was really grateful. Bottom line....even if both Rabbis cant help with everything...they were soooo amazing about all this and there comforting words and reassurance was enough to make me get myself together enough to realize that there will be a light at the end of this mess.....and tomorrow will be a brighter day!!!!! So this is where I am at with this whole crappy situation....but at least I have people who are now going to work with me to help figure all this out for this year and the next few years ahead. They also said they are going to talk to their lawyers to see if there really isnt any legal ways to make this money available to Dassi before 18 so that she can choose how she will use it.....for yeshivah, camp, Israel, clothes, whatever she will want or need that I wont be able to afford all alone. So enough about alll this....for sure bored you all to death by now!!! Thanks for all the concern and support I will keep you guys posted as things come up.....if anyone has any other ideas that....can help please feel free.......im all out if racking my brain. I just need to say one more thing about this and then ill be really finished!!! What im really pissed about with all this is.......in the beginning of this whole experience with the court and monies and how things worked.....I chose the school and camp and did the bat mitzvah with full understanding that this is what the court was going to share with in the expenses, they agreed these were there best places for her to be at and agreed to allow me to take half and pay myself with half. Had I gotten a no way from the very start....I would have chosen different for her.....a less expensive yeshivah that might not have had the many great benefits but would have been satisfactory and what I was able to afford on my own. The same goes for camp and she would not have had as big a bat mitzvah not that it was in any way big....but it would have been without adults, or without the magician or withoput the centerpieces....it would have been okay.,...but I worked with what I had and even then it was a struggle but it was all doable.,...so because they granted the petitions with the explanations from the start.....how can they dare expect me to be able to afford these institutions alone now?? How can they think its in her best interest to take her out now...after three years of just getting settled because a new judge sees things differently and doesnt give a rats ass.....as to all of the above....and most of alll Im mad as hell at Ron...and the poor guy cant even defent himself!!!! k......im now finished!!!! really.... sooooo.....now that thats out the way.......................................BIGGGGG NEWWWWSSSSSS I met someone!!!!! Yes, a man!!! lol. Out of no where really!!! One I actually really like!!! Further more I think he even likes me back just as much. I kind of feel like a kid. Hes amazing. hes cute, and funny and charming and truly likeable!!! It just happened this past week and havent had time to post or tell anyone except my mom about him yet!!! He contacted me on that jewish dating site that I joined months ago. I havent looked at in in ages and since the beginning of preparation for the B.M. I never even checked on it. Just so happens on Tuesday I got this message from the site that my subscription was going to end.....and I was like so what.....havent looked at in in ages.....and wanted to let them know to cancel it.....so signed on and there was a message waiting....hmmmm and I didnt get a notification which was strange....but opened it up and there was a message from some guy who read my profile and was impressed YADAYADAyAA....and would love it if id get in contact with him.....so I sent him a message....after of course checking his profile and thought he was right......we could be a good match!!! So...contacted him and turns out yesturday he was close by so we met for coffee and sat for three hours.......and really hit it off!!!! After getting home.....last night he called to say he really had a great time and would love if he can take me out on a real date.......wooo hooo!!! so we are going out tomorrow night.....so excited that today ran to Loemans.....where I saw they had some nice things on the clearance racks and said...what the heck...so I bough two amazing dresses for 35 bucks each!!! couldnt resist the second. soooo have the perfect outfit for tomorrow...got my nails done and mustered the energy to think about orgainizing my room tonight!!!! but....you should all know.....im optomistic until he makes his first mistake then you all know im going to throw his arse out the door......but until then......OMG did I need this little reprieve from the last two weeks like nobodys buisness!!! ..........whats really interesting and strangely odd is that.....he contacted me on the day of Dassis Bat Mitzvah and his bat mitzvah torah reading is the same as Dassi....that I spoke to her about in my speech to her.........and the day I prayed my eyes out ....Monday before speaking to these Rabbis....asking god for help and sending me a sign....any little one......and thats the day I signed on and got this message. hmmmm perhaps im reading into but its all about coincidences and this to me seems very connectable!!! At least it gave us something to talk about for at least an hour!!! He was pretty impressed that I new so much about this particular torah reading and he told me that night on the phone what clinched it for him was that I was so knowledgable about his torah reading and was able to give him interpretations of it that he himslef had thought of many times and when I picked the topic to speak on.....it wasnt going to be on that torah reading at all......that just happened by accident really!!! but thats for another post!!! in any case....Ill let you know about the date tomorrow night!!!! Told you all id be back by end of the week to junk up the thread.....lol btw.....been working real hard on those last ten pounds....and lost three of the five that I gained...thank god!!!!! so...getting back on track....now for the excersise....but i know same ole same ole...gotta get to it enough talk!!!!! Have a good night all Jods

Hi..... quick post before shabbos.... My lawyer got back to me this morning and told me that he did speak to the surrogate court and they are going to get back to him on Monday.....so we shall see. Im going to fight this one.....not going to sit this one back. Thanks for all the support. just weighed myself on my friends scale and ive now gained ten lbs???? How the heck!!! Well...that is the end of this period of gaining....not going to gain another pound called the surgeons and made apt for this wednesday so they can pick my butt....but I know you all will as well..........although....ive just berated myself to no end!!! Just finished cooking with friends Hindy and Renee....for shabbos...we are visiting Hindy...NJ for shabbos. Kids are friends. Well........must run but wanted to wish everyone a great weekend!!! ENJOY!!!

Hi everyone.... Thank you all for all your concern and wishes......I so appreciate the words of support and comfort!!! I did speak with my attorney this morning.,...who was my divorce lawyer and the lawyer who set up the guardianship account at the beginning of this whole crazy process. He couldnt believe it. He said that all the lawyers were hoping that this surrogate was fairer then the last when coming to decisions involving custody trials, trusts and family court concerns. Apparently they fired the whole dept and hired all new clerks and guardian lawyers etc. He was really not happy about what he granted and didnt. He said firstly that because the last surrogate granted in full for tutoring services, half for tuition and half for camp for the past four years in a row....so precedents has been set and he cannot deny now....if these items were granted from the onset....they must be honored....so he is going to be at the court tomorrow and next day and will try to discuss with judge and see what to do.....if nothing then.,...we will go for an impartial hearing..to make sure that the next three years will be granted as it should be. For clarification..... This account was not from a trust fund at all. It was from the double the salary that enlisted Dassi as the sole beneficiary which came from a medical benefits policy from work because he died....he as the idiot he was....and I say this with all the love and respect I feel at this moment for him....was told to never put a minor child as a beneficiary to anything legal. He was told this several times by his lawyers, family, friends, coworkers, estate planners etc....but he was so bent on keeping any bit of money from me possible just to be spiteful....so the end result now...Dassi suffers not me. He could have put her name in trust of someone else just as easily like one of his brothers, friend or whom ever else.....but he was stubborn and foolish sooo he refused and he also refused to get life insurance that was mandated by the judge and ordered by him in our divorce decree....so we never got any life insurance....this was just a fluke that his benefit plan from work included this clause....to get double his salary thank god...for small favors. If he could hear and see now....I wonder what he would say. Im sure it would be ....."I didn't think this would happen, Who'd have thought" well...the unthinkable does happen. sooo, after this happened.....this money....needed to be set up in a guardianship account which is supposed to be a joint account with the surrogate court that means that it is there to make sure that the money is being used in the interest of the child and no one else. It is not supposed to be determined by the judge only...but in NY this is what it has become depending on the surrogate judge preceding at the time. There is only one surrogate in each boro. You know I wouldn't be so peeved had I not had my six thousand dollars that was my return from taxes....offset why???? because my darling ex....was responsible for paying our taxes but of course he didnt...sooo I get to pay for them....and innocent spouse doesn't count as we filed separately but our agreement stated that I would pay tuition he would pay the taxes....and he did begin to pay....but when he passed away they came to me.....as my name was on it and it doesn't matter what our divorce agreement said. SO...even though now the IRS is not collecting from me...they are taking my returns starting this year....to cover the 60,000 owed!! SO....not only did I not get the return I expected...I thought okay things will be okay...if I get the 3400 reimbursed for tutoring....and half the tuition....but no....not even that....and if just surviving was not hard enough as it is every darn day!!! and...what about camp now???? soo....not only would all this be hard enough without the extra help I was expecting that I always got each year....we are talking 10,000 dollars in all pretty much that I am now paying alone.....that and the additional 2900 I still have to give back to my moms credit card for the restaurant party part....thats what was left to pay for the bat mitzvah...which would have been payed from that 3400 that I was supposed to get back...which now I'm not! so.....im just plain peeved!!!! I have dealt with alot over the last 5 yrs.....but this takes the prize!!! well....as for me.. rotfl....hystericle really.....getting manic I think....My stomach is killing me!!! I have been taking the augmentum antiobiotics.....for three doses so far....and Ive never had this problem with antibiotics but I got such an attack starting this morning of diarhea....runs....that I called my surgeon and he said it was the antibiotic....seems that with the band...and medication staying in the stomach longer this can happen. SOO....that needed to be changed to something else. SOoooo got a new script but Ive been sick all day....and now drinking Gatorade as per surgeon as well....I hope this goes away soon. Not sure whats worse the ear or the stomach now!!! Tomorrow.....Rons brother is coming in from Israel to spend the week in NY because he could not come for the bat mitzvahs last week...his wife came but he could not....so he came this week and so tomorrow he is taking Dassi for the day......they will first go to cemetary....as per Dassi request...then lunch.....afternoon they will spend looking at pictures of the bat mitzvahs that he hasn't seen and Dassis creative arts etc etc....and the finale of the day...he is taking us to dinner and then he is taking Dassi in to the city to see "Phantom of the Opera" . This was part of her present "they also gave her a beautiful necklace and earing set from "Michal Negran" an Israeli artist that all the girls love.....but the biggest present was both of them coming here for her for this occasion!!! oh....so much that Ron is missing soo sad....they are trying to make it up to her by spending time with her when they could....which is really wonderful but wont make up for him not being here.....but it sure makes her feel special and better......so I can tolerate them as well for whenever they want to come....they are welcome here anytime so need to clean up and cook...make sure there is food and stuff around for him.... I just hope he will be okay taking her himself...lol. I asked him this on phone today...and his response was....Jodi, I have 5 kids. I think I can handle this....hmmmm okaaaay....well I give him credit. My dad would never take her anywhere alone...he wouldn't have the slightest idea what the heck to do!! Hope it will be okay.......... Shel love "Phantom" they thought it was a good ending to her...whole "mask and masquerade them" hidden miracles and costumes...etc. Shel love it!!! Karen, I guess....since you guys aren't getting the snow.....we are!!! All day snow/rain...raim/snow!! When will spring arrive here in NY??? in any case....you all said vent sooooo venting!!! but....yes, am again.....saying sooooo SORRY!!! going to sleep and hoping to tomorrow a better day! Have a great night Jodi

Hi everyone........ Dassi got an e-reader from borders....for her B.M. She loves it but needs to charge it like once a week. She likes it...not sure what the differences are but my mom bought her this one....and it wasnt cheap apparently either. so today was a real downer.....I just got the news this afternoon that the court denied my petition for both Tuition for school and for 1/2 of the reinbursement for tutoring services for Dassi.......Apparently there is a new judge for surrogate court in Queens and he doesnt believe in private school, special services or camp for children. These are not considered educational or medical. Hmmm???? WHAT THE HECK IS THEN????? Im so upset over this ruling because up till now......Ive been allowed to take out 1/2 of the amount of what I put in for tuition which is 15,000 dollars before scholarship.....I pay five thousand with the scholarship....what peeves me so much is that this is our money.....and this judge gets to determine on what the money should be spent on.....and the law is it can be used for educational and medical expenses....so far they have not allowed for psychological services, Physical Therapy, Braces for her feet and now tuition and tuturing....so what the heck is this judge going to allow for??? Tomorrow morning need to call Lawyer and thats going to cost money.....it just doesnt end. Its at these times,.where I would like to strangle Ron if he was here that is.....and um well I cant....so all I can do is just scream at him....is it bad to curse him now???? Cause id really like to. I have to pay 5,000 for tuition for this past year and the party which needs to be paid for by May 11th and rent for the past two months....and camp tuition which is coming up and I was thinking of putting the tuition in for that.....and I was allowed to take out half for that each year,,,,so dont expect that happenening....at all. so thats another 4200. I just cant do this alone. I just cant. It was hard enough with getting half of the help.....now with nothing I dont see how it will be possible to keep her in private school and or private camp....but how to go about switching her again???? after it was recommended to keep her for consistency at the same school and camp...so busted my ass to pay for what needed to....but struggling to do so as it was....now I just dont know what the heck to do or whom to turn to for help if there is any help to turn to even!!! Im so sorry for venting......sooo sorry just needed to tell someone and just scream it!!! and I just want to eat right about now....ice scream, chocolate, potato chips etc but am not!!! Just not!!! So keeping my fingers busy posting so again sorry!!! LauraK.....LAS VEGAS.....if you want to see Jeff you can.....how long are you going to be there?? If youd like to get together with him and want his number.....send me a message, hed love to see you!!! We still talk occassionally...he would like to more but.......I havent been able to really give him my full attention because hes there and im here......and well its just doesnt work for us and he is just all over the place........and I cant keep up with all his....um wheeling and dealings.......love him dearly but want to throttle him sometimes so much that I cant speak to him for months just to regroup and get centered again.......he turns my world upside down at times....and I cannot deal with that......now. in any case.......just needed to vent and so....again im sorry....tomorrow will be better and ill begin to plan a new strategy....and all. Have a good night all. Jods

Hi.....Just got the uncut...pics on flicker from the bat mitzvah if anyone would like to see them.....Dont for the life of me yet know how to download them or upload them so happy viewing! They are the raw pics!!! They are pretty good for a lay person....will get more of the edited ones on flash drive this weekend...and then make an album on snapfish or something.....get some printed etc I have to say however....as nice as my dress was....I still look fat fat fat but not as fat as I would have looked a year ago 80 lbs heavier!!! lol Everyone else looked fab and the pics were great! Really told the story of the days celebration......Enjoy! SO still home as my ear is just killing me olmost took a pain killer but Tylenol helped. so sitting here...going through all the pics and straigtening up...going to friends this weekend for shabbos...and am thinking what to cook for them. okay....will post later have a great day! Jodi

Hi everyone, Hope all is well today....... Havent had time to post and respond so much.....but have a bit of time so thought ahhahh...time to post. Lori that baby is just soooo cute, Im sure leaving was indeed hard to do. As far as gas goes.....just paid $3.71 with credit card. Usually I would never do that but needed to give Dassi cash for her Purim carnival at school and was on empty soooo instead of paying $3.68 I had to pay the credit price!! Was so peeved. Cost was 38 bucks to fill up a 17 gallon tank!!! Like you was not a happy camper. Janet...been keeping up with the trip all week and what fun you guys had!!! Since ive just been out to there...was able to picture all your goings on and such. Eva and Lori, Thanks by the way for all your suggestions and recommendations for the projects and the favors for the bat mitzvah you guys really helped out and i was able to go with all those ideas and work from them! soooo thank you thank you..... Phylis I have been making that rotiserie chicken recipe every weekend now...and this past weekend passed it on to a friend and someone else now just called for it!! lol so thanks that was a great recipe and everyone loves it!! Jessica you look fabulous!!! Great going on the movement of the scale again!!! You go girl.....you deserve that cruise!! Enjoy it! LauraK....I hear you about the guy...I know its hard to say goodbye to those we know arent going to work out but ...the thought of starting all over again is so disconserting but.....we have to do it...otherwise we remain stuck and then start to feel badly about ourselves and begin to get depressed and then.............eat.....and self destruct so...you know what you need to do...so heres hugs on the strenght needed to say.....goodbye and to move on to find mr. right. (if there is such a Mr.) Im sorry however he wasnt what youd hoped for. Julie nice to see your posting!!! glad your feeling a little better then! So.........with all that has been going on with me.....didnt go to work today because....I have an ear infection! Yea....like what adult gets ear infections? well, I do.....woke up last night in pain....and decided that I realliy needed to go to doctor today! Ive been feeling klind of funny the last week with clogged ears and stuffy nose....but chalked it up to allergies but after last night....uh oh. no. so...went and now im on augumentum. lovely. Hopefully will feel better soon. Havent been the greatest in food and exercize since CA....as you all know and well.....as you all know what happens to those who arent good about either of these things I gained five pounds. Cant say I dont know how this happened or why...I know very well how and why so.....the question is what am I going to do about it? I know its not an option to forgo the exercize and the food for sure not.....but gotta tell you....between the bat mitzvah and Purim preperations and the parties this past week for it......welll its just been a cookie here a chocolate there and piece of cake here....and theres the darn five pounds. sooooo going back to basics.....logging cal. Proteins and veggies........no more "whites" again and back to gym starting tomorrow!!! NO EXCUSE~ In any case need to go to pharmacy and pick up script before Dassi gets home and then.....the evening rush will start. Have a great night all.....

Missavery12901, Hi.....Yes, Sandy posted fabulously regarding her own experience deciding to band or not to band...this is a question everyone who is contemplating this surgery gets stuck on before and even after.....as after its the question of see I lost all this weight....perhaps I could have lost it all without having done the surgery. Every one is different.....and every experience is different for each of us....so no one can say whether you should or should not have this procedure......however, there are some key elements that can help you make in making this decision......I will post here....what my own experience before surgery helped me with making my decision to having the band.... I have had weight concerns my whole life....however I was never over weight until the last 10 yrs before banding last March. I was always within normal limits....for medical puposes not for American purposes....of course....after all if you arent size 8 your obese lol BUT being a medium boned and size 12 most of my life from teenager up....well that was not "thin". I never exercized and ate whatever I want.....then I got married and pregnant......hahha stress and pregnancy...now we are talking weight gain....but still I was happy...and content. It was only until my blood pressure began to rise, and choleterol levels began to creep up and not the good kind either.....Asthma began to get worse and sleep apnea began to disrupt sleep and that gave way to exhaustion and hence furthering the complicaitons above....which is when the weight began to really increase.....so when the weight began to get past 210.....my doctors were really beginnng to become concerned......and suggested the lap band surgery.....because my family history with heart disease and cancer....and weight wasnt going to get better for me with time....Soooo there was no question about pre surgery diet and trying to do this at all....it was a matter of getting all these comorbidities under control, stop using medications for them if possible as the side effects and its uses were more detrimental then having this surgery......so my decisiion was based in medical factors as opposed to just weight loss. If I didnt have these comorbidities I would care less if I weighed 220 lbs. If I felt fine and wasnt at risk for dying or having a heart attack, stroke etc etc. ..,...So, I had the surgery to help me with all of the above and the added bonus was being able to loose the weight rapidly enough to get all of the things under control so that I can begin to lead a healthier lifestyle and live longer and be here for my daughter as she grows up. Yes, I do question whether it was possible to do all by myself without.....but heck I wouldnt want to find out.......so, these are questions that you and your doctors and family need to decide together.....this was my deciding factors....i hope I was able to help with some things to think about!! Regardless of surgery or not......eating right and exercize, healthy lifestyle changes are pertinenent for any one persons success so if you are not committed for living and making changes.....no surgery or just dieting will help....... Good luck in your decission.......we are here to give you all the support regardless of your decission!!!!! Jodi

Cant post for long but couldnt go without posting to Julie!!!!!!! WHAT????? HECK NO!!! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING US!!! Julie, You are one of the first people that welcomed me into this thread and the one who has given me sooo much support with this band and in life!!!! You are a friend and that bond is there for life now.....sistas remember??? Experiences cannot be errased. Youve shared this experience and therefore you cannot just errase it....no, you are a intergral part of this thread and all of our lives.....so please stop even thinking that we wouldnt want you here!!! We love you and your wonderful giving, supportive life to all those around you in through your family and friends and through us.......so when you are feeling better and you will soon.....start posting again.....and use us now for the support you now need in dealing with all of this "new" stuff that is happening with you.....Im sure that all of this has taken an enormous emotional toll on you and we are here and always will be for you band or no band....and when this thread if and ever really does collapse and cant be repaired...we are all connected by email and by phone. SOOOOOO DONT MAKE ME COME OUT THERE TO THE MIDWEST NOW CAUSE I CANT AFFORD IT AFTER SUNDAY!!! hugs and kisses Jodi

Good Morning all...... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE!!!! Its a rainy dreary day in NY but im happy as a clam....lol. No organizing, planning, running and executing!!! So...even though have a day from hell....it will be a happy one! Dont get me wrong...loved every bit of "helping" plan for this big B.M. the added stress was um stressful but....loved what the outcome of all those intricate details etc. Its one thing when you have lots of money and options to work with but...when you have neither you need to be both frugal and creative. Thank god for Dassi who appears to have both these characheteristics! oh and lets not forget faith in god! So..this morning was really Dassis bday so..made her a birthday breakfast...Joyce you and Dassi share a bday!!! Then ran to work...where here I am sitting and writing....finially I have my lap band posting time back! Then I need to run to drop of the purim food baskets that Dassi made money from selling her bracelets and buying all the foods for that charity project. I need to bring them to the organization that will be distributing them on Sunday to those who dont know what the hoilday of Purim is about....then my day doesnt end there....have a three month mandatory meeting from work in the Manhattan so need to drive in during rush hour for an inservice that will have no benefit for me as it will be geared toward the school age population but is mandatory so...im a going. Wont get home till about 10 this evening.....but see above...as happy as a clam cause im not the one doing any of the organizing or planning hehehehe. I know these few days of relaxing cant last because Sunday is Purim and tonight Dassi will be asking when will we be making her costume and making Hamentashen and putting together our baskets to give out to our friends.....not sure if anyone remembers last years dilema about what to give out......I ended up buying choc covered fruit from "Edible arrrangements" but cant really afford that this year so tomorrow will have to figure this all out and Friday....get it all together! lol. So, much for relaxing. Saving grace being we were invited out Friday night dinner and Sunday big meal that is recquired Dassi was invited to a bat mitzvah for....and I will go out to eat with a friend and we will pay for each other..lol. anyways....my boy woke up must gooooooo .... gotta go will finish later..... Have a great afternoon.

WOOO HOOO......Got my font/color/size back!!!

Hello Everyone!!! Reality has sunk back in and life is beginning to take on its usual crazy twists and turns....but thats the usual so I know things are back to normal. Thanks to everyone for their wishes....on Sunday. It was a great day!! It was beutiful. I was so proud of my daughter, not only did she behave like a real lady but looked like one as well. I posted some pics that people sent me from their cameras on facebook. The photographers pics will come hopefully soon. The restaurant did a beutiful job. The food was fabulous, the music was perfect, the kids loved the magician and everyone had a onderful time. Of course it was bitter sweet....as Ron wasnt there to celebrate and experience with us the beuty of his daughter getting bat mitzvahd...and those who made speeches of course remembered him in them which made everyone teary eyed and there wasnt a dry eye from the adults esp during Dassis and my speech. Yes....I did write a speech but cried through my part about those not being with us esp her father but knowing that he is hovering and smiling and is just as proud as we all are of her etc etc. alf....crying now just thinking of it lol. After all the speeches it was all laughs and smiles again.... Everything went exactly as Dassi planned lol. She was the real orchestration behind it all and she did a splended job. What I liked the best was watching the way she treated everyone special. She danced with every person at the party and made sure everyone was happy and taken care of....but mostly that she was visibly happy and you could see her shining. She pf course made us get our hair, nails and makeup done......that was the one extra but heck...it was her day and she never wants to do those things ever so was happy to oblige in all this once,,,,,,as they say once in a lifetime event. She got lots of great presents, her friiends made very creative artwork, written work songs, memory candles, scrapbooks etc, The rule of the school is no presents...but all the girls do their own things anyway and they present those things in a ceremony at the end of the party. All the favors were graciously all taken and even the centerpieces were not left the girls were crazy about them...whod have thunk! Dassi did and she was right on the mark! From the invitatations to the colors, her dress and the favors....all were just perfect. SO....... Im happy happpy happy!!!! Party over!! wew. and sooooo even more so because one of her gifts from grandfather was a MAC laptop....and so I get my computer back yea!!!!! She hogged this one so...that I could not even check emails any longer needed to use BB for everything..... with all the preperations havent had time to even check posts...but was kept up to date basically when this thread went down.....sorry but was kind of happy about that for me. Now will be peeved like the rest of you. My apologies for not being a good support buddy these last two months or so....not okay...but just didnt get a sec between work and planning and dealing with reg lifes goings on in between...so im sooo sorry for not being supportive and available....please know that you are all so very important and I did think about each and every one of you guys everyday.....esp happy when baby katelin was born all was good!!! I also said prayers everyday for Julie and Chery your daughter and Linda your daughter and granddaughter as well....so sorry about the medical troubles. Well......just wantedt o post to say......IMMMM BAAACK!!!! and thank god...have my own computer back and the party planning over....so can junk now go back to junking up the thread again!!! Have a great day...and those who are on vacation with liucky 7s I hope you are having a great vacation!!! Jodi

so sorry about the shouting....didnt mean to it just sort of happened...didnt even do anything to change it! lol . sooooory~!

[b]Hi all.....I see we are back up and running right! Yea. I have spent the last hour and half reading all the posts from only the last week (lol) and have realized once again how much I have missed you guys!! I am going today for my endoscopy so have another 45 min till mom picks me up to bring me to the office. My apt. is at 11:30. Am starving right about now and would like to get this over as I could really use my "Grande Latte" decaf of course so its counted as a liquid. Apparently the band looks as if it has slipped from 45 to 65 degrees however we wont know if the stomach is a little above the band or not because of the angle, so need to go in and see if this is the case. If so.....the band will be be emptied and we hope that it will correct itself and then begin adding solution back in again slowely. Not looking forward to that!!! Nor, can I afford it as Insurance does not pay for fills. They are $200 a pop. but...at this stage im not exactly looking to loose alot more but....dont want to start gaining! just hoping that even if it did....its not a problem and can stay this way. Bas Mitzvah plan is coming along and the RSVPs are coming in. The music and phtography has finiallly been taken care of....in the end my nephew who is 21....and plays in a band who is a DJ for weddings etc....called me after I posted on facebook that I was llooking for someone.....he saw it and phoned to ask why I didnt ask him to do this?? Well, I did think of it but didnt think it was appropriate since he is invited to the party and didnt want to ask him to work at the same time! He laughed and said hed be happy to do this for Dassi and me....well that was relief! I was really at witts end thinking about what to do as I have allready over exeeded my budget and will be really struggling for the next six months after....so could not fathom another 500-600 bucks and that would be on the cheap end. The photography....I now have someone who does camp photos....a young guy who is doing this for charity so to say....the nephew of the parent who I work for.....he volenteered. He will do all the party stuff....no stills or family shots jsut basic party...he is in charge of that area...I was told as long as you have someone totally in charge who is not invited to the party who has taken these types of candids before is fine. For the stills and the family shots and important ceremonial shots, table shots etc My friends sister in law who I did invite to the party as her daughter and mine have been friends since they were little asked if I was using anyone as she does photography on the side....and she volenteered when she heard I didnt have anyone....so I made a deal with her that if she does all these photos....then this would be her present from the family as there are four of them.....and no present would be accepted. lol. She was reluctant but I said wouldnt do this any other way.....so she said okay! SO...am now set except of course paying for it all. That will not be fun! So far.... I have a thousand cash on hand as of today. Allready paid a thousand for the invitations and the party favors decorations etc. I need another 550 seperate for the magician and then probably another 3 for the restaurant. hmmm lovely. By the 13th I should have enough money for that but best have nothing unexpected....like relatives showing up unexpectedly lol!! Getting excited now that things are coming together.....working on the songs for the candle lighting service....tonight! Fun!!! Thanks to all who have been asking!! And, nope didnt get my dress yet, am picking up Dassis Sunday...completely ready!! Cant wait to see it. oh no....its 45 minuets allready!! Mom is here.....wanted to address everyones posts but not going to be able to now!!! darn it! So,,,,,to be continured!!!! Have a great day eveyone till them........... Jodi

Hi all. Just caught up on the last weeks posts. So glad the trip to Palm Desert/Springs/Indio..was nice.....wasnt the mountains just lovely? That was my favorite thing about the place.....all the mountains on either side. Just so peaceful. Sitting out in the afternoons on the patio alongside the golf course with the mountains on either side......spent more then a few hours jsut staring and contemplating how wonderful life was...........of course then I had to return to NY...bla bla bla. Yuchs. Glad you guys enjoyed. I didnt get to go to the Col craft fair on Saturday..but I heard it was really nice. Was sorry to have missed that. Next time. So...last Wednesday I got a 1/2 fill taken out and....guess what?? I do feel better. Why oh why did I wait??? It just is so silly to be uncomfortable.....I know that now. In any case.....I went as well to do a barium swallow yesturday....and well apparently there might have been a slippage sooooo have scheduled a endoscopy for next Thursday. The surgeon still has to look at scans to make sure....it could be not but wont know for sure till tomorrow.... but scheduled as they book so fast so will cancel if need to....cant imagine that ive slipped.....just feeling good now....so dont see it but who knows.....best be safe. If needed they will take out all solution after that...and see if it corrects. If so begin to refil if not.,...welll back to surgery. Not thinking that far.....hoping all is good cant imagine that it isnt.....crossing fingers. well been real busy with the planning stuff and RSVPs etc etc....all is coming along...except for money coming lol....but that will just have to come from the trees in the next month.....to pay for all this so trying to stay withing some low budget.,aint easy but doing it...cause the money isnt falling yet!! lol Okay just a quick post....doing taxes today....completing..... have to run... Have a good day all....and have a great rest of the week!! Jodi

hi...all Well back from my day....tired!! Before work I needed to get my petition to the court that I was making.....so stood at the bank to get that happened....after work ran to "staples" to make copies of all the petitions then ran to the court to drop off petition...where they kept me waiting about 1/2 hour because they wanted to check everything before I left...first time this happened. Afterwhich ran to my surgeon appointment where the PA....said she knew that I reallly needed to get an unfil last time I came but really couldnt make me but knew it was the best thing. She was right so we took out 1/2 fill. She is also sending me for an upper GI on Monday morning just to make sure their is no slippage etc. I guess its best to be safe. In any case I lost three pounds....so down to 143. yea...me. Tomorrow night support group so will be going after work. Have a million things to do for the bat mitzvah including sending out the last two invitations....one to Dassis aunt and uncle in Israel...who the aunt is coming but still need to send the invitation and have asked them to email me their exact address and still no response lol. More important is the other brother who lives here whom we havent spoken since the divorce and I need his address and the Israeli brother was supposed to send me both.....grrrr. Now he will think I didnt send it out before 5 weeks on purpose...and im too damn stubborn to just call information to get it....as im not sure it will be the right one as he moved several times. Maybe I just dont care if he comes. Dassi doesnt even know him at all....never even phoned her since Ron died. Dont even know why im inviting him at all....except its the right thing to do! SO...am waiting for the addresses. Well....was invitied to the guy down the hall for Friday night dinner with Dassi and her two friends that will be staying over. lol.....lord dont why I accepted. I told him I would make chicken and bring it because the last time he came to us....he made something a little undetectable and he wouldnt come here as he seemed intent on having us come to him as he has come here with his daughter twice since we moved in. Dont know why however he is so determined to have us...but he hasnt given up for about two months now of trying to have us but weve had plans every weekend for months lol. So...this week he wouldnt let me get out of it and tonight came by to confirm so we are stuck! I guess it could be worse.....he could be awful but he isnt so bad....just think hes a little self absorbed or maybe just unaware. In any case it should be interesting. Dassi isnt too thrilled as his daughter iis two years younger then Dassi so she isnt really interested in playing with her at all but she and her friend is coming along for the ride. Maybe we should eat before we go. lol I am so mean. okay.....it feels like Thursday but is only Wednesday? Long Long week..... Would like to go to gym but will not get there till Friday but will be going!!! Then I hope to get back to some sort of new routine....Starting with Sunday morning class.....must must get back to gym. I know its the only thing between me and great success...must must fit it in the schedule, just so difficult to do as I cant even get a reg work sched each week to be the same.....so frustrating. Okay now that ive bored you all with my life in a rut. Hope everyone is good.......Lori....the baby should come at a good time.....as we say and when god wants it to happen...till then I hope she feels better soon. Enjoy the time. Someone asked about Chicago....but no I dont think that would be possible or at least cant even think about that now when is this happening again? lol. Sorry....was it in June in the end? What was the dated that was decided on in the end? Have a good night all...... Jodi