inEVITAblyme

I have always been a "big girl" and come from a family full of big sexy island women. I had always been and optimistic pesimist. ome days I was feeling fine and others I was insecure about my weight... Eventually I was more insecure than not. I have been in denial about the way other people saw me. With so many people telling me I was sexy, I would think "Well I must look damn good"I became a performer (poet) and would go out almost everynight of the week performing, partying, living it up. My social life was at it's peak, people loved me "So I must look good"Then I would see myself in the pictures and think "They caught me at a bad angle/ bad moment/ on a bad day"...eventually it dawned on me that the fat girl in the pictures WAS what I looked like and that WAS what people saw when they looked at me. Instead of doing something about it I stopped performing, I stopped partying, stopped doing everything (except eating) because I didnt want to be seen as the fun pretty FAT girl.At my highest weight I decided to take my youth back. At 299 pounds I decided that I do want to go out partying, shopping at "regular" stores, I want to have fun.Besides my weight I am totaly healthy so I stopped the health issues in their tracks and cant wait until I lose the unwanted weight and gain my youth back.Highest weight: 299Surgery weight: 287Goal weight : 180ish (or a size 10ish.lol)