zita

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do.
Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic.
I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

Great News!!! Progression has taken place; not in the sense of the scale losing its mind and numbers reducing like haywire; no, not at all. But, progression in my sense of consciousness; I recognized how tired I was, and finally one day as I was going through my closet-- there it was, and then it reminded me of a deficiency that I had that needed treatment in order my body to get the rest it. If I used it then I would have the energy to put exercise efforts to practice. It was my C-Pap machine. Needless to say, for the past three nights the morning greets me in a different state of being. I am more rested, seems as though I can breathe better, and I started stretching my muscles. There was pain and pleasure at the same time. Felt as though I was escaping from prison, and I was. So this newness gave me the energy to be creative with what I have around the house to use to work my muscles. I filled up 3 to 4 gallon jugs of water, I used the broom handle as a level to balance the handles of the water jugs and I really enjoyed myself in increments of workout. I have a lot to look forward to. I will keep you posted.

Some of you know that I have had 3 miscarriages. My hub and I have no problem getting pregnant, but I just can't get past the 1st trimester. Well in the last week I have had 2 friends give birth and 2 annouce they are pregnant.
 
My BFF for 20 years called me yesterday to tell me her news, she is pregnant with baby number 2. She is already through her 1st trimester and just found out she is preg. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her and her husband. They have one daughter and have been trying for 3 years for another child with no luck. They had given up hope, but low and behold she is preg and 3 months in. Her due date is my granfather's birthday.
 
While I am happy for her, my heart does break for my babies, my 3 that I can't hold. My doctor told me I could try again this summer and we plan to, but I am just so scared. All the test they have done have come back with nothing wrong, so they have no idea why I keep miscarring. My OB/GYN says that as soon as I think I am preg, like one day late, to come in and he will do an ultrasound and if I am he will start progestrone to hopefully keep the baby.
 
I don't know what will happen, but I am scared. I am scared of gaining to much weight, I am scared of losing the baby, I am scared I will never have a baby.
 
The name of today's game just seems to be scared!

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya".
 
For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore.
 
The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds.
 
But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

Growing up I was always the wall flower. I was the kid a teacher never knew was in class. I was quiet and kept to myself for the most part. While I did have friends, I was careful at school not to get in trouble or break rules, that was just me. I was never loud or abnoxius and never wanted to go against the grain. I was a blender, always blending into the back ground where ever I was. As I got older this trend continued, the only place where I would step up and take a lead was in my job, because that is where I have to. Being a manager I had to be the head of what I did and often times would have to public speak, but that was fine because it was my area of expertise.
 
I always thought my wall flowerness was due to my weight and my not wanting to be seen. But, after losing 50 lbs I have come to see this is just who I am. I still am not a flashy person. I don't like wearing things that make me stand out- I wear normal colors not flashy bright ones. I won't color my hair a odd color for me because it would draw attention. While I feel better about myself I am still the same old wall flower.
 
Even on this site, I post questions and post blogs on a regular basis, but many times do not get feed back or response, which frankly is a little disheartening.
 
But, I must except I am the wall flower and that is just who I am. Maybe one day I will bloom into a beautiful rose that is noticed, but I doubt it, but I am me.

I never gave my big clothes to good will or the salvation arm because I feel this way: We give them things for free and then they turn around and sell stuff for outrageous prices. Some of their clothes I could go to Ross and buy brand new ones for what thrift stores sell their clothes.
 
I have a lot of nice dress clothes and I decided I would sell them on Ebay. In one day I made 80 bucks doing nothing more then sitting in my house placing things on ebay. Everytime I need to go down a size I just start listing the bigger items on ebay. Within a week I have enough money to buy a whole new ward drobe. Lets face it WLS and losing tons of weight is inevitable we all need new clothes.
 
So why not make money off your good used clothing. I also am starting to buy things on clearance and sell them for full price. You would be surprised how many people will bid way over what you put the starting bid at. For instance: i put a pair of just my size jeans on ebay for $4.00 by the time they were done bidding I made $16.50. I think I only paid $7.00 for the jeans on clearance when I was wearing them. So I made enough to buy two more pair in my size now.
 
There is money to be made folks. All you need is a paypal account to get paid with and they will send you a debit card to use if you want one. The first sales take a few weeks for ebay to give you the money but if you are a new seller they have to make sure your stuff is legit.
 
So get to selling your old clothes and make some money for some new ones. I think I have found a new business to start. If I can find stuff on clearance for $2.00 at Ross no matter what size and sell it for full price I have made 150% profit. Use flat rate shipping, print your shipping labels off paypal, the will deduct if from your funds so no out of pocket expense for you. Go to the post office get a small box, tape the postage on and off it goes. Easy peasy. Now make some dough because who doesnt like to go shopping.

Well I was always told by my surgeon that lapband patients should never throw up and this question has come up many times on the forums what happens if you get a stomach virus. Well I haven't had one in about 2 decades so I was kind of hoping I wouldn't ever get one again.
 
Well last night after dinner my stomach felt like crap. I only ate a small amount of pork but I took some prilosec and went to bed. Holy crap at 2 a.m. I woke up heaving up what I thought was all my internal organs and had massive amounts of diarrhea I know TMI. The good thing was the only thing that was coming up was gas so it was just horrible dry heaving. I was home alone because my husband was away and I knew I could not drive to the hospital with a bucket heaving as hard as I was. I figured I would take some compazine I had from my gallbladder surgery and I called my surgeon. He said drink water even if it comes back up because it will make the throwing up less violent and meet him at his office at 6.a.m. Well so much for the compazine because that wouldnt even stay down.
 
My doctor met me at his office at 6a.m gave me a shot for the nausea because he is nice like that and sent me for a stat ct scan. By now I was only throwing up about every hour. My little band was fine thank God. He said at three years post op that it is probably well adhered to the stomach so it would take more than this to move it.
 
 
Of course I have major swelling so he told me clear liquids for the rest of the week and through the weekend and not to try to put any food in there even if I am hungry. He gave me a shot for the nausea which thank God has gone away and told me to drink plenty of gator aid for now. He didn't think there was a need to remove the fluid, just resting the stomach would do fine he said. Well the one good thing about all this is I hate more then anything to throw up and I was thankful that nothing came up.
 
So now ya know if you have a stomach virus the first thing to do is call your doctor to guide you. He is there for me no matter what. I dont feel embarrassed to call him and this time I needed him. I don't like going to the ER's for things like this because there are worse off people then me in there. So now if the other end stops I will be fine. Trying to eat some italian water ice slowly just to get some fluids in. So my hope is to not have a stomach virus for another 4 decades now lol.

Being into the 5th day of a new month, my energy level is still lagging behind my determination, but there have been some changes.
 
With intent, purpose, and consciousness I choose to remember the basics, because they are the foundation which to build on.
Eat much slowly (enjoy the food away from the computer and television)
Green Tea beverages throughout the day (it seems to control my food cravings)
Portion sized smaller (protein first)
Eat more frequently (2 to 3 hours apart)

Change happens with intention…. Stagnation occurs because Change never took place.
 
Off I go...

Being into the 5th day of a new month, my energy level is still lagging behind my determination, but there have been some changes.
 
With intent, purpose, and consciousness I choose to remember the basics, because they are the foundation which to build on.
Eat much slowly (enjoy the food away from the computer and television)
Green Tea beverages throughout the day (it seems to control my food cravings)
Portion sized smaller (protein first)
Eat more frequently (2 to 3 hours apart)

Change happens with intention…. Stagnation occurs because Change never took place.
 
Off I go...

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do.
Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic.
I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

Being into the 5th day of a new month, my energy level is still lagging behind my determination, but there have been some changes.
 
With intent, purpose, and consciousness I choose to remember the basics, because they are the foundation which to build on.
Eat much slowly (enjoy the food away from the computer and television)
Green Tea beverages throughout the day (it seems to control my food cravings)
Portion sized smaller (protein first)
Eat more frequently (2 to 3 hours apart)

Change happens with intention…. Stagnation occurs because Change never took place.
 
Off I go...

Being into the 5th day of a new month, my energy level is still lagging behind my determination, but there have been some changes.
 
With intent, purpose, and consciousness I choose to remember the basics, because they are the foundation which to build on.
Eat much slowly (enjoy the food away from the computer and television)
Green Tea beverages throughout the day (it seems to control my food cravings)
Portion sized smaller (protein first)
Eat more frequently (2 to 3 hours apart)

Change happens with intention…. Stagnation occurs because Change never took place.
 
Off I go...

Being into the 5th day of a new month, my energy level is still lagging behind my determination, but there have been some changes.
 
With intent, purpose, and consciousness I choose to remember the basics, because they are the foundation which to build on.
Eat much slowly (enjoy the food away from the computer and television)
Green Tea beverages throughout the day (it seems to control my food cravings)
Portion sized smaller (protein first)
Eat more frequently (2 to 3 hours apart)

Change happens with intention…. Stagnation occurs because Change never took place.
 
Off I go...

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do.
Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic.
I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

Previously I cut all ties with my publisher for personal reasons. So I decided to submit my manuscript to one of the hardest to get published, publishing companies in the United States. I did this about six weeks ago and figured well they said I would hear something in two weeks. So I gave up. I continue to write everyday because I love to do it and well..... I think I am pretty good at it.
 
So today came the email and I didn't want to open it because I knew it was a rejection email. After all this time it had to be right? WRONG WRONG WRONG!
 
Not only did they accept my manuscript but said this:
 
Congratulations Cheryl! Tate Publishing has accepted your book,"The Prevalence of Love" for publication. This email is to inform you that we would love to move you to the next step in this process and get you a contract to look over. I have been reading through your submission and I am certainly impressed. This is a project that we are really interested in taking on. I just want you to know upfront that I really enjoyed your work and we are excited about this opportunity. Please take some time to read through the material and let me know if you have any questions.
 
It is important that you know what it is about your book that caught our eye and you need to realize that a lot of time and effort goes in to each review of every submission that comes to us. Your book has been chosen on the basis of writing ability, concept and most importantly- marketability. It is with great pleasure that we welcome you as one of the 4% chosen out of tens of thousands each year to become a published author with us. Congratulations![/font]
 
I was moved by your short stories and the encouragement that radiates in your writing. We are very honored to have you come our way and look forward to working with you on this project. [/font]
 
Yes they read every single submission they get and my book was picked! Over the years my writing has improved drastically. I not only just produce books but I write for Yahoo Voices, The Examiner, Angies Diaries and many other websites. With perserverence I have been given an opportunity that most authors never have the chance to get. It is hard to get published and while I have been publshed for quite some time by another publishing company that is being sued by many authors for their lies and deciet, I have broken through to a publisher that is by far hard as hell to get published by. So today I do my happy dance and now you all know what I do instead of thinking of food. I write.[/font]
TIME FOR A BIG HAPPY DANCE

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do.
Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic.
I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

so i was banded December 19th i am now a month and some days post op and decided today i was going to look through pictures and this is the one i saw ( one on left ) i sat there and cried for a while, i couldn't believe i looked like that.. Ive only lost 30 pounds so far and still have a long way to go ( my goal is to loose 100) . i know as i loose more of the weight and continue to look back at pictures i will have a lot of these moments but i really couldn't believe it i was so upset but happy that i made the decision to get the lap band. i feel so good everyday now and after my crying stopped i new i will never ever go back to that and it just gives me even more of a push to work hard at my weight loss. just thought i had to share this .
 
 
PICTURE
 
LEFT : Summer- highest weight- 272
RIGHT : Now- weight- 246