Spartan

“What if I fail”….. It is an honest question that EVERYONE asks themselves when they begin this process. You, however, have asked it publicly, which means you have more guts than the average person. THAT is a terrific indictor that you will be a resounding success in this process. You also said one other thing that tells me that you have a remarkable ability for introspection. You said “more than the fear of failing it’s the embarrassment of failing”. I think that this is a wonderful observation, and it means you are very self-aware. Most people are not, and I think this ability to see your feelings for what they really are will serve you well in this endeavor. Fear of Failure is the great de-motivator. It keeps us from fulfilling our true potential. It keeps us from taking the risks we need to take to bring us to the next level in EVERYTHING. Fear is the source of so much heartache and disappointment. If we, as humans, could learn to control our fear, we would be able to rise to unimaginable heights. Fear is the brake that stops us from asking that girl to dance at the Junior High School Grad Party. Fear is the wall that stands between us and interviewing for that wonderful new job that we want, but think we are not quite qualified for. Fear is what keeps us from pursuing that advanced college degree because we know that it is way over our heads.(it isn’t). And it’s all about being afraid of FAILURE....of rejection….of loss. The one thing about failure that I have come to understand is this: You are a failure ONLY if it’s the last time you try. If you keep trying, keep working at something, you will NEVER fail until you give up. When you quit, THEN you have failed. Trish, in your case, you think you have failed at all of your diets. But the fact is, you haven’t….you have kept on trying. And this experience you are beginning with the Lap Band is yet another indication that you are not a quitter. You may stumble and fall a bit. Most people with the Lap Band do. It sometimes (often, in fact) takes some time and effort to find the right combination of restriction, diet, and exercise before you hit the zone where the weight starts to come off consistently There is one member of this forum who has had the band for several years, and lost very little weight. But she kept working at it, trying new things, working with different fill levels, and then one day….BOOM. She hit the sweet spot. And the last time I talked with her she had lost 107 pounds, I believe. She never gave up…she did not quit, and as a result she did NOT fail. And you won’t either. The Actor Jack Lemmon once commented: “I think we worry about failure too much. I don’t think that failure very often can hurt anybody. It’s fear of failure that will absolutely destroy you.” I agree with that idea wholeheartedly. So, my advice to you would be: Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine. As you yourself have said, you have a terrific support system around you, you are working with a therapist to deal with the issues surrounding your addiction to food, so I am not seeing any reason at all why you WOULD fail. The future is bright, Trish. When you come out of that operating room you will be entering a whole new world, as so many people before you have. And in a few months you will have a whole new body, and all of the wonderful things that go along with that. You’ve got a lot to look forward to; Let us know how everything is progressing! S.

Alyce; I would see your doctor about this. It's happening too much, too frequently. Probably nothing to be concerned about, but I would certainly ask your Doctor. S.

Hi, Stevie; I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better today. Depression is a miserable thing, for a lot of reasons. One of the reasons it’s so bad is because it’s tough, sometimes, to find the long-term solution. The thing about Weight Loss and depression is that weight loss/dieting (with or without surgery) creates a lot of changes in your body, and it can trigger a biological depression. Add to that the anxiety surrounding any kind of surgery, the lingering effects of the anesthesia, as well as the interaction of any pain medication you might have taken post-surgery, and you have a fertile breeding ground for some significant depression. This is one of the reasons why I STRONGLY recommend that people who undergo Weight Loss Surgery also seek psychotherapy to help them with the various issues that they might encounter, both before and after the surgery. Antidepressants can work very well. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one, and for many people it has been found that a single medication is not enough. A “cocktail” approach using multiple antidepressants and perhaps combined with some stimulant medications is being used very successfully these days to help with treatment-resistant depression. I’m not sure what your insurance situation is like, but find a really good psychiatrist, if you can, who will take the time to work with different combinations of medications in an effort to find the one that “fits” for you. The one that you were on before may have worked, but if you do not access to that one now, there are quite a number of other alternatives. But, the most important thing to do is to always remember that the depression DOES end. It WILL get better. Keep your eye on the prize, move through the bad times, and there will be plenty of good times on the other side. I have to say that you really do have your hands full right now, and I have the utmost respect for you. A very young Son, a new lap band you are learning to work with, your depression…..you’ve certainly got your plate full. But everything will work out very nicely, if you do your part. Keep us posted on how things are going…there are a lot people here that want to help, and be supportive for you….. Keep in touch! S.

From a guy's perspective, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. If he really cares about you, then it's not gonna make any difference. And you answered it yourself, really, by saying that if he DOES have a problem with it, then it was probably not meant to be. And I would certainly agree with that. At this point in your life, you don't need that kind of shallowness. And, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your husband....that is always a hard thing to go through. But, it sounds like you have pulled your life together and are moving ahead, which is certainly the right thing to do. There really is love and happiness out there for you. As far as telling him.....I would just see how it goes. Maybe wait until you meet and have dinner or something. If you tell him about it before you meet, then he might have some preconceived notions about how you should look or something..... you don't want to make your weight an issue in his mind. But I think I would tell him BEFORE you are intimate with him, in case he does "find" something that he isn't expecting. So, don't be concerned about what he thinks about it, I think it will be a non-issue. And do tell him before he gives you a "fill"...... S.

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie…. Look at the quote in your own signature at the bottom…..you have just taken the FIRST step in your own journey. The journey is gonna take a while. You are brand new into this process, and you have to be aware that it is going to take some time to achieve the results that you desire. 16 pounds in within your FIRST month with no fills is FANTASTIC! You have nothing to be disappointed in. People lose weight with the Band in very, very different amounts at very different speeds. But I would have to say that you are one of those that might end up on the fast track. But even if you aren’t and it slows down a bit, I think that you are going to do just fine. This whole thing is a PROCESS and not an EVENT. It takes some time. And to be honest, you don’t really WANT it to happen all that fast. You want your skin to have the time to adjust as you lose weight so you won’t look all stretched out. And there are other health reasons as well. Just focus on a few months from now when you getting closer to the weight that want to be. Picture yourself playing with your beautiful little son, filled with all the energy and vibrancy you ever wanted. Because if you stick to the rules, it WILL happen. You are NOT gross or ugly….far from it. Just give it some time, and look forward to a time in the very near future when you WILL be the person you dream of. I have seen it happen thousands of times…..and I see it happening for you, as well! S.

Which means, of course, that you don't have an answer. Thanks so much for sharing that thought. S.

Hi, Pickles; Sorry you are having problems. But, it does happen. You know, it’s interesting you have been able to lose weight without restriction. It does happen, though, for several reasons. One is the Placebo effect. Just the knowledge that you have the device inside of you gives you a resolve to try a little harder. It works the other way sometimes, too. People will have the band and think IT will do all the work and they end up eating more than they did before. Also, it might be that you are getting a very subtle restriction that you cannot feel, really, but it is sending the signals to your brain that you are “full” or “fullER”. In addition, you might be one of those few that have the “Hunger abatement” mechanism in action that the band theoretically provides, but does not often materialize. AND, we certainly cannot rule out good old fashioned hard work on your part! There are people who go through their Band experience with virtually no restriction or very little restriction and lose weight. As I have said before, the band experience is VERY individual….people rarely experience it the same as anyone else. So, HOWEVER you are doing it, congratulations! As far as the leakage, well, that does happen. But I was a little confused by your comment suggesting that you will have to pay for the repair. Will your insurance Pay for it, or are you self-pay? And, because it was not your fault, I would suggest that you have a very strong case for having the Surgeon absorb some if not all of the expense of the re-install. And, if it was a faulty band then the Manufacturer might bear some of the responsibility. These things are very tricky, and there is a lot of “pass-the-buck” between doctors and the other parties involved. But, based on what you have said here, I would really push HARD for the surgeon or the Band Manufacturer to foot the bill for at least some of this. Do you have insurance? Please let us know what happens with this….I would think that this would be of great interest to those people having similar problems. And congratulations on your loss thus far…..keep up the great work! S.

I am very supportive of what he is trying to do, and I hope that it has an impact. The garbage that they serve our kids in school is disgusting. A couple of years ago, when My son was in high School, he forgot the HEALTHY lunch that he made for himself every day. He would not even TOUCH anything they served in the cafeteria and the vending machines were all full of garbage - candy, soda, etc. So, he left campus to walk to the supermarket on the corner to pick up something GOOD to eat. On the way BACK to the school (He was carrying a bag of Apples and Bananas) he was arrested by LAPD for truancy, and given a ticket that ultimately cost him $700. Something really needs to change.

AnneGG Is correct. learning to live with the Band is a process, and it is something you don't simply turn on like a switch. It would be very, very wise of you to "act is if" you had the Lap Band now, and learn to eat, drink, and behave in the manner of a successful Lap Band Patient. Learn everything you can about it, and, basically, "practice". Live like you will be living when you have the band. I think it will help you a lot in your adjustment to "Banded life". S.

You really should not worry at ALL about it. As others here have said, the Lap Band experience is SO individual, and the rate at which people lose varies to an incredible degree. Someone in another thread told how they had lost 30 pounds in the FIRST WEEK, which is very unusual, but goes to show how different the immediate results can be for everyone. There are people who lose nothing at all for the first few weeks, and some even gain a few pounds. And, there are many who take months to reach what they like to call the "sweet spot", which is the point of restriction where they begin to lose on a consistent basis. So, the worst thing you can do at this point in time is to compare yourself with others. You will lose faster than some, slower than others. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do is to stick to the protocol that your surgeon and his/her team has laid out for you, be patient, and understand that this is not an "event", but the beginning of a process that may, in fact, take some time. But be diligent about it, and you WILL get there. S.

Snobar; Good luck on your path to a better life. Choose your surgeon wisely. Take your time, and spend a lot of effort on deciding who will perform your surgery and provide your post-op care. It's a very important component of the process. There are some not-so-good surgeons out there, and you really want to make sure you have the very best person. Good luck...keep us posted on your progress! S.

I have never been able to understand how people who are that heavy can live. It must be a horrible existence. And, bypass is SO difficult to perform at that weight....the mortality rate on the table and short-term post-op is pretty high. But, it HAS saved some lives. It's tough road regardless of which path you choose to take. And as sandiegokate said, it DOES get harder as you get older. S.

Great feeling, isn't it? If you've been heavy for a LONG time, it can be quite the shock when you are trying clothes on, and getting on rides at the amusement park. A whole new world....a BETTER one....!

You have got to be kidding me. You have to be absolutley kidding me. Berating??? Where and when. Name it. I DARE you to point out ANYTHING I have said on this forum that was NOT correct. You might not like my delivery, but that's tough. Reality and FACING reality is a big part of solving the obesity problem. You call what I had to say to her an ATTACK???? There many reasons why some people become fat. One of them is enablers. Like you. You're too funny. You live on some other planet. S.

EXCUSE me? would you care to explain that? I'd be very interested in knowing how you arrived at that.

“I didn't see where the OP asked if these were bad food choices. “ Nor did I see where anyone asked for YOUR opinion on the content of MY post. “I am pretty sure she knows what kind of food choices they were without someone pointing it out.” Apparently not. Sweet tarts and Cotton candy after undergoing Weight Loss Surgery? C’mon… “How we chose to use our band is our choice” And just who said it WASN’T?? There is not a Doctor or a Nutritionist on this planet that would tell you that those were GOOD choices. And if someone is making those choices repeatedly, then maybe no one TOLD them HOW to USE the band. You may not be aware of this, but there are plenty of people who have the lap band and other surgeries without getting more than a paragraph of instruction on how to use the thing. And then they come here and 6 months later they are whining about how they’ve only lost 4 pounds. SUPPORT does not always mean patting someone on the back and telling them everything is just fine…..Support also means pointing out potentially destructive behavior…..and to a WLS patient, I cannot think of too many things MORE potentially destructive than getting into the habit slamming back nearly PURE SUGAR whenever you want to. “nobody on this site needs the food police.” Oh, but we need the Post Police? And you’ve elected yourself into that position?.... Jeez…..

Well, there's not much about the Band experience that you CAN consider "normal"....people lose at widely variable rates. That IS pretty dramatic, though....and it is a very good indication that the "restrictive" mode of WLS was the right one for you. Of course, do exactly what YOUR surgeon says to do, but consider slowing the process down a little bit, if possible. Losing weight too fast can be detrimental for some people, dependant upon your age, weight, and overall physical condition. S.

Bad "food" choices, both of them. Remember.....THAT is the kind of garbage that brought you to the point where you had to have a spigot/valve/noose/whatever-you-want-to-call it buried inside of you. One of the problems with the band is that it does NOT prevent bad food choices. It restricts quantities and volume and textures and a few other things. But people can still make some very poor decisions about what the choose to send through the band. Eating like this (even in small quantities) is one of the very BAD things that Banded people do. You may be eating less, but the stuff you described is still bad for you. You said that you just "had" to have some cotton candy. Did you really? I think you probably didn't. You WANTED it. but you didn't need it. And it is the little choices we make like that which will make all the difference in whether or a not ANY WLS patient is susccessful. It's not always how MUCH you eat....WHAT you eat is very, very important as well. S.

There really is no definitive aswer to this question, other than....."it depends". And, of course, what it it depends on is the individual. What people experience post-surgery varies pretty widely. There are a couple of theories with regard to the placement of the band in how it has the potential to mitigate hunger, but it has proven to be unreliable in practice. The result has been that some people do, in fact, experience a cessation of the hunger, but those instances are rare, in terms of there being an absence of hunger. Your appetite WILL change somewhat, but it is very individual. Many people find that over time, with the reduction of food intake, that their body will anticipate and require less food, and their hunger will adjust accordingly. But this is not specifically a function of the Lap Band. In my own diet experience, I found that the longer I stayed on a lower-calorie intake, the easier it was, and my hunger diminished. So, the answer is yes, no, and maybe! S.

And thank you for providing a perfect example of a Bonehead comment. And....I would put "Douchebag", "asshole", "Horse's Ass" "Dick", etc, in an entirely different class of comment than bonehead. S.

You can find just about as many liquid diet regimens as you can surgeons. Different surgeons all have their own take on the subject of pre and post-op diets. IF your Surgeon is experienced and has true expertise in Bariatric issues (and some don't, they simply got into it for the money), then he/she will have a very good idea of what is the most effective protocol for their patients. So, I am hoping that you are merely curious about what other people are doing, and are not contemplating making any changes to your diet without consulting your surgeon. I think it is very important to follow your surgeon's instructions to the LETTER. The Surgeon does have a vested interest in your success, and if you have taken the time to choose a really GOOD doctor, then you will want to do exactly as they say. So enjoy those sugar-free popsicles....they kind of grow on you!....:thumbup:

Erosions can, in fact, happen at virtually any time during the life of the Lap band. It is more likely that they will occur in the post three-year period, but they have been known to occur within a few months of surgery. I would not characterize erosions or other Band complications as "very rare". The incidence of erosion, slippage, and other problems is increasing, mainly because the population of Band patients has been getting larger and there are more long-term patients that are having their band removed due to these complications. There is a growing consensus that the LAP-BAND® will ultimately be considered more as a 3 to 5 year temporary solution, rather than a long-term/lifetime solution. Insurance companies are beginning to see this as well. The declination rate for LAP-BAND® requests is increasing because the LAP-BAND®, while successful in many instances, is not in many cases as well. If you any have concerns about this, you need to contact your Doctor. However, from what you have described, it does NOT sound like you have anything to worry about. The band changes "personality" from time to time, and some days you will be tight, others you won't. That is one of the "quirks" of Banded Life.

As far choosing which surgery to have, just be aware that the different surgeries are meant for different people with different eating issues. It's not so much a matter of choosing the one you prefer as it is choosing the one that is right for YOU. The Band is good for one group of people, the bypass is good for another. I would not consider the Bypass to be "radical" in any way. It has been performed successfully worldwide for nearly half a century, and with the advent of laproscopic technology in the last decade it has become safer and more effective than ever. So IF your surgeon has suggested the Bypass for you, then consider it. It might be what YOU need to be successful.

ASK the Surgeon/Doctor/Whomever is going to give you your fill. Really. CALL them and ask.

I LOVE the Magic Bullet. but here's a warning.....I have had TWO of them. The reason I have had two is because the motor on the first one burned out. It is IMPORTANT that you use it in little "blasts"...hold the top down for just a few seconds at a time. It should NOT be used like a regular Blender where you just let it run....use short little bursts, and you'll do just fine with it.....it's a great device!