general_antiope

Mimilou, lol, I have the same visual of myself, too, since I'll have my arms done. Skinny, I really appreciate your openness with us. I think Sue's right, it's a natural cycle of emotion when there's something traumatic done to the body. Sorry to hear your husband is not being totally supportive...but hey, it is a huge change in your life, and perhaps he feels like you're passing him by. Men are odd creatures... Your job is to heal, now. You did something HUGE for your body and mind. It's the home stretch. You are going to be as happy and proud of yourself for the PS as you were when you got banded! Hang in there sister. Hugs!!!

Thanks skinnyjeans...I really hope it works too. Because I've never been able to join a local support group, I think I went down this rabbit hole of belief that slowed my weight loss. I thought I found the "secret" to the band and that somehow I was now used to the restriction and it didn't work anymore. I miss the days of not being hungry. I miss not thinking about food!!! Once in a while I get it from a fill but it is empty or under filled within a week. I'm trying not to be bummed that I'm still 50 lbs from goal while doing this. I tell myself, if the doc is to be believed and he will take 15 lbs off in skin, then I am looking at 35 to lose. Either way, I am looking at the PS as a "re-banding." Gonna do my BEST to do 14 days of all liquid up to the surgery. Except Thanksgiving of course. LOL.

Well I have a leaky port that's going to be fixed in a few weeks! I found out that Phoenixville Hospital has a new bariatric center and a doctor who will fill me even though I'm not a patient. A 15 minute drive compared to the 2+ hours to Gaspar! Thank god. Pages - Bariatric Surgery Dr. Kaczmarski 610-983-1975 I have lost some of the weight I gained, but have decided that post-op I really need to get a local support group together. So I hereby would like to announce I'm forming a Chester/Delaware county support group!! I'd like to meet my fellow bandsters in person every now and again, have meetups, etc. I think a huge problem for me is I am a solitary eater. When I'm with other people I talk a lot and am not interested in food. When I'm alone, I'll peck at something for 2 hours unconsciously, so, having people around will really help me stay on track. I've been isolated for a long time, and now that I work from home, it's becoming imperative that I meet with other people! We can share recipes, stories, shoulders to cry on, go out and do things when the weather is nicer if we like. Anyone interested??

Wannabe - congrats on finding your doc! I would have added the question "What is your revision clause" to the list. If a scar needs revising or if anything goes wrong whatsoever. Some docs have a 1 year revision, etc. Where they will not charge you to fix it, though you may need to pay hospital charges. I'll be staying at a hotel the second night after my surgery, too, to make sure there's no complications. I agree with you, it's a smart move! March will be here before you know it!!

WOO HOO Skinnyjeans! You did it!! How exciting for you :w00t: Thanks for posting about the pain and sleeping, etc. I'm making plans to create a Pillow Mountain on my couch and bed so I can be comfortable. Did you get an unfill, and do you find any problems taking the narcotics if your band is filled? Like, did the pills get stuck?? Trying to decide what I need to do.

Allie, it's two days away!!! :w00t: Are you unfilling your band at all?

Hey skinnyjeans!! Excited to share your journey with you. Thank you so much for posting. I started having lap band "possible leak" issues about 3 years ago. I lost 100 lbs, was ready to lose about 35 more to be finished when it abruptly stopped. I was 2 years post op so I figured I had learned how to eat past the band, that the magic was over, and it was some psychological thing. I went back in dutifully for fills, sometimes I would lose no fill, other times I'd lose all of it, or 1cc. It is really unpredictable. The docs aren't sure whether the port is just hard to stick 100% (and as a result it is not making it into the band) or if I have a hairline leak that shows up if I bend certain ways. I stopped all exercising, thinking my yoga was the culprit, and over a 1 month period still lost volume in the band. My upcoming PS will also replace my port with a low profile one, and I am PRAYING this fixes the issue. I look decent at 210 lbs, but I'm still 210 lbs. I really want to get into the 160's or 150's. I'm struggling with unreliable fills and no support group. (I was banded 2 hours away from where I live) I went from 190 to 210 and am clinging to this weight for my dear life. LOL. Losing is hard. Is the PS replacing your port as part of the procedure? The part doesn't cost that much, $500 - 700...my PS is swapping it out at cost for me. Much better than having a separate procedure if its just a leaky port, which is common. EDIT: So I thought it was all psychological and my fault, til I spoke with the NP last week. I said look, is it that I'm 5 years post op? Do I know how to trick the band? And he looked at me funny, and said "It either gives you restriction or it doesn't...Can you guzzle Water? Do you burp?" and I realized I can chug water, eat bread, chicken with no problem. So, it was wonderful to know it wasn't me screwing it up.

Allie, I appreciate the reply :w00t: Oh my gosh I'm reading your thread and am so FREAKIN excited for you. I know how you feel. I wake up suddenly, eyes pop open, and think, in a month I'm going to be Different.

Looking great Shalee!!

Katie! I am thrilled to see you sharing your PS journey, too. My surgery is in 4 weeks - Dec 7. I'm more nervous about the before and after pictures Out There On The Web but hey, with you bandsters doing it for me, I must pay it forward :thumbup: I am SO EXCITED for you!! I am thinking about you and saying little prayers for your OR team to be on the best game ever today. Much love!!! GO GIRL!!!

Hi Allie!! I'm scheduled for Dec 7th, getting similar stuff done (mons lift as well). I went with Dr. Capella in Hackensack, my band Dr. Ren recommended him. I am SO excited to see your progress. My surgery came up quite unexpectedly, and while I'm heavier than I'd like to be, I am thrilled to be getting my leaking band fixed at the same time. So I don't feel so bad. LOL. One thing I'm curious about is when I will be fully self sufficient. I live alone with a dog and cat, and am spending one week with my mom after surgery, and am wondering how mobile I'll be week 2. Doc says I'll be off pain meds in 4 - 5 days (less or more depending on my pain tolerance, which is high) and can drive 2 days after I'm off the narcotics. Did they give you any info on that?

Hi luv2teech! Sorry for the delay in responding...I can't believe how crazy my life has gotten! I wasn't even going to look into surgery until my mother suggested I was putting my life on hold, which is silly. Then I just decided to talk to surgeons, loosely plan for a surgery date of a year later. Take my time finding the right guy. Well what I found was, as I met with surgeons, the whole concept became more real. They told me that it didn't matter if I lost weight after surgery, it just mattered that I didn't continue to gain. And then surgery became that much more possible for me. So my recommendation to you is - if it's all you ever think about, what's keeping you from investigating surgeons?? Nothing! At least start meeting them, figuring out what you want, what it will cost. It really changes your perspective...you may decide it isn't for you. Or you may decide it is...but being "paralyzed by fear" is a wasteful emotion. Get out there girl! You can do ANYthing, you survived morbid obesity!! :thumbup: Woo hoo! (I'm so caffeinated this morning) There's more than one surgeon around - so don't hang your hat on one office that has a waiting list that long. Really, by the time I found Dr. Capella I knew everything about the operation itself AND the surgery and could ask intelligent questions like, what's your revision clause? But, let's defang the fear. Why are you so afraid to even look into cosmetic surgery? Are you afraid of the operation, or the results? Why did you swear you'd never do it? It's not for everyone, but I can say with conviction at this point in my life, that for me the only way I can boot fat Kate into the pages of history and truly let go of that old self is to have the surgery. It's a psychological boon to roll over in bed and not be dragging a heap of skin with me. I know I will be so much happier and proud of my accomplishment. It's different for everyone. As far as price... My price tag came to under $20,000.00 Yes, hideously expensive. That includes replacing the port, arms, breast, FULL circumferential body lift (not just a tummy tuck) and flank lipo. I did not want the tube body post op, so he's contouring. I'm only doing this once, so it's gonna be complete. The only way I was able to add arms in is because Dr. Capella has a physician assistant who's been working with him for a few years and together they get the procedure done quickly. Initially I was going to add arms later...but they will be finished with me in 5 hours, and do not feel it is a risk to my health. My arms aren't bad, but are in need of help, and will not take long to do. So why not? :smile2:

Hi luv2teech! First of all I am in love with Boston, and visit it regularly So jealous you live there. This is not covered by insurance...I'm paying for it. I refused to consider PS until I was in the 160's but, with a leaking lap band, I felt it was futile. My mom took me aside one day and told me she felt I was using this surgery date as a reason not to finish my weight loss, or date, or be social. I thought about it, and I think she's right. I feel unfinished. I talked to my surgeon frankly, and he said I'm an excellent candidate even at 210 lbs. He said I'll come out of it 15 lbs lighter and totally flat. No bra rolls, contoured. I am mystified...but seeing the results other folks have had, I believe!! For me, this is a much needed move. My band will be fixed, my body will be proportionate, and the last 30 lbs will come off. What are you thinking of getting done?

Thanks Britt - I realize my post was kinda longwinded :thumbup: but I felt like I had to write the timeline and story down for some reason. For myself, I guess. I gotta get my head around this notion that it's not "all fine" and I really have to step up, here. Well insurance denied it as I suspected, so I'm waiting to hear what the cost is going to be, and I'll attempt to get financing. I had a rough week last week, dinnertime was unusually hard. This week I feel like I'm more in control. Right now I'm living for friday night pizza, but the fact that I'm choosing steamed brussel sprouts over pizza fries is a huge victory Let me know how things go with ya, britt - feel free to email me too!!

Hello. I was banded on 11/26/04. In April of 05, I got my magic fill and the weight loss began. I admit I was not a perfect band student. I ate horrible calories, but in perfect band quantities. I was so excited that I no longer had hunger - and along with that, I lost the "lust" for food that has plagued every diet and every waking minute of my life up to that point - that I was thrilled to have no limits on whatever I wanted to eat. My band told me when to stop. I listened. It was so glorious putting down the reins and letting this little thing inside me take up the steering. The nutritional impact wasn't so bad. Sure, my hair started getting a little voluminous on the backs of my suit jackets. I didn't let that get too bad...I made sure I was eating more Protein first, but salads were out of the question because of the pain involved in eating them (I was tight) and the struggle for protein. I hated Protein shakes. At worst, I got one cavity and dropped 100 lbs. My energy was fine. So there I was, 193 lbs. I stayed there for about a year. I haven't seen that weight since high school. I was in size 14's that were starting to get a little loose. I could suck in my stomach and look NORMAL. I began making plans for weight loss surgery. I researched surgeons in 2007, two years after my surgery, figuring it would motivate me to drop at least another 20 lbs. The problem was, I couldn't get under 193. It seemed like the magic was gone. I was so used to letting the band do the work, that I didn't notice it started getting loose on me. I was happy to throw all responsibility on the band, therefore, it took months to realize my eating habits were the same, but the quantities were slowly increasing. I went for a fill after 6 months of no weight loss. My hunger was back. And of course I panicked for a good 2 months, eating whatever, jamming in the calories and foods who were my friends and habits before dealing with it again, reverting back to all my horrible mental "lust" and obsession that marked my existence pre-band. God, how I hate that feeling. Then I started thinking that the band was working just fine, and it was me that was the problem. Once in a while I would have to PB, something would get stuck, but if I chewed really well I could get a couple of pieces of bread in, some fettucine alfredo...and if I kept at it for two hours, I could eat the whole thing. I was relating a stretched lower belly to being satisfied. I forgot how to be on the band. I went to my doctor and told her my hunger was back, and I believed it was my fault with the secret eating and long dinners I was finally enjoying again. My band felt empty. I thought I'd stretched it with my forced eating. Every good thing about this band was slipping away and I didn't know how to stop myself. Why did the band stop working? Why did I start eating more? Was I getting used to the discomfort of eating? I wasn't throwing up a lot... The doctor thought my band had slipped. I went for a procedure where they stuck a camera down. It's perfect. it's in place, there's no erosion. Then she tried one last thing....to give me a fill. My last fill was an overfill, so we couldn't figure out why I had zero restriction. The band was empty. As is common, the first response was, perhaps the port wasn't hit all the way the last time I got a fill. Which I think was 6 months - 1 year previously. Dammit!! I was really angry. I spent a whole year not losing weight, and maintaining, but thinking I'd screwed something up. She refilled me and all was good again. Life got in the way again, I was traveling extensively, I was in the middle of a divorce, and once more I found myself a year later (bringing us to Fall 2008) having actually gained a few pounds. I was living in a hotel from June to October for my job and eating hotel food every day. I gained about 10 - 15 lbs. When I went to try to lose it, I only gained more. The "lust" and obsession was back again. I decided to try to unfill (as I was having acid reflux, night coughs) and work on eating bigger healthier portions because I wanted to exercise. I finally, at 200 lbs, had a good time exercising. It didn't hurt. I felt powerful and strong. I felt GREAT afterwards, as opposed to on death's doorstep. It was wonderful. Well, my habits still suck. I cannot. CANNOT. control my eating easily. I tried to go to a weight loss therapist and she just wanted me to log everything. There is a psychological/compulsive underpinning to my issues with food that one day I will get to the bottom of. I know they're there. I know there is no magic fix...but good god, now I'm 230 lbs!! I don't fit into my 14's anymore. I'm fat around the middle. I'm turning back into the unhappy girl again and I'm panicked. I went to get another fill with Gaspar in NJ, and he noticed I was bone dry again. He said I may have a port leak, it's pretty common, I've had the band for 4.5 years. If this last fill didn't work, and I lost restriction, he said, go to Dr. Ren again and she can revise it. Simple procedure, not as traumatic as the band itself...great. Well I got filled that last time in the middle of March. I'm empty again. The second day after the fill, I could guzzle Water. I contacted Dr. Ren and let her know what was going on with me. I told her I was afraid I've messed something up with this problem in my head/genes with food, and I messed up the tool, and she assured me I did not. And it makes sense. There is NO WAY, with a proper fill, that I could force food down without feeling very sick, uncomfortable, or throwing up. I've had that feeling before, I told her, that sucker was the perfect tool for me, and I want it back. She said we can get it back easily. So I'm waiting to hear if my insurance will cover it. I'm pretty sure they won't. But the surgery is scheduled and I will take out financing if I have to to get this done. I have learned a few things about the lap band. There is, however, a difference between knowing something and experiencing something. And now I've experienced it. 1. I cannot rely on my band 100% to do the work for me. It was a wonderful year long vacation when it was working. I felt like normal people feel. I viewed food in a normal way - as fuel, not a hobby, or a friend. I made good decisions because I wasn't hungry. However... 2. Hunger and band efficiency will fluctuate and I must know how to deal with it and be WILLING to deal with it. I always knew it was a partnership with the band, it did its part and I did mine. I was trying to do my part for the last two years, I figured the honeymoon was over. Luckily for me, it's not! The band wasn't working properly. But I didn't have to let it go so far. So right now I am tracking my food, watching calories, practicing mindful eating. It's not easy, but it's better than not having the band at all or being 300 lbs again. I refuse to quit. I can't quit. I'm so damned close!!! It's a different ballgame for people who once were thin, and were now obese...you have that memory to draw on. I've never seen myself at a healthy weight, looking remotely attractive physically, so it was a vision I could never relate to...the "nothing tastes as good as thin feels." That phrase is meaningless to me. Well, WAS meaningless. I tasted normalcy for the first time in my life and I am now gonna chase it with everything I have. I will let you guys know how my revision drama and subsequent weight loss pans out. I just want you all to know that it never has to end. You just have to keep getting back up. You HAVE to try. And fight.

hi ladies! I have some good news for you guys looking for band fills. I am a patient of Dr. Ren's and now one her awesome nurses, Gaspar Rosario, has opened his own "fill station" in Old Bridge, NJ. His fills are $75. Access Weight Loss Care, LLC. Gaspar is also a banded person, too, so he is definitely one of us :thumbup: I have gained 40 lbs back. I thought it was stress, and all the traveling I did for 6 months, but Dr. Ren and Gaspar think I have a leak. I'm 4.5 years out from the band and stopped losing weight about 3 years ago. I honestly thought I had someone ruined the band, or stretched it, because I never felt the same restriction I once had. Very frustrating!!! Anyway, I am scheduled for a revision on May 18. I hope my insurance covers it...and if they don't, I'm going to see about financing it. Or something. Dr. Ren is so freaking awesome, she emailed me back personally and told me I am NOT crazy, there is no "window" I missed, and the band WILL work for me :tt2: God I love that woman!!!! We seem to have a few peeps in the same area here. I would love to start up our own support group. I've been kind of isolated without any real person (not online) support, and I want to finish this damn journey. Anyone interested in meeting up? I dunno, June or July?

I had lower back issues for about 8 years, resulting in surgery and a conversation with the orthopaedic doc who said "You can never jog again, or walk as an exercise. And sports are out of the question." Despite being overweight even as a teenager, I was physical and very competitive. I liked volleyball, softball, soccer, and I was in a co-ed adult softball league by the time this all happened. Without any exercise after back surgery, I got fatter and fatter, which led to the band. Now I am 106 lbs lighter and I actually ache to work my muscles. Nothing hurts on me and I feel so happy some days that I jog to my car...and then stop suddenly, hoping I didn't just dislodge a disc...but those few moments of stretching my legs and feeling the wind and feeling stronger and lighter than I EVER have in my life...ahhhh.... I've tried walking, and it feels marvelous and energizing when I'm doing it, but the next day I pay for it. I decided no more tempting my back for another surgery as I have a degenerative disc, ergo, a wildly unstable lumbar spine which will never revert back to normal. I just discovered Yoga. I've been doing Vinyasa Flow (Seane Corn) merely to stretch my muscles and make me feel like I'm accomplishing something by at least becoming more flexible. I can do the whole tape without a problem, so I decided to try a class. With humans. And my droopy-skin belly. And my gurgling neck. Last night I went to a class for the first time :biggrin: Hot Flow Yoga. OK so 95 degrees and two buckets of sweat later, I feel unreal today. It was amazing to be there with an instructor, who would push on me during Downward dog and really intensify the stretch...changing my foot positions so slightly and making the whole pose feel immediately better/deeper/challenging. I could barely keep up with the class, I had to stop from time to time and hang out in child's pose, from about 20 minutes in to the next hour, my muscles shook and trembled in every pose, but I kept my breathing strong and steady. Every time I fell out of a standing pose I just grinned to myself and went right back at it. I kept waiting for my body to give out, quit, have total muscle exhaustion but that time NEVER CAME :wink2: I cannot believe how amazing I feel today. Now I want to try every single Yoga out there!!! Anyone else into this amazing physical and spiritual practice?

Hi all, Well, the scale started moving for me again since I decided to finish up and get my plastic surgery and be DONE with this journey :thumbup: I'm looking to get PS in December and wanted to have my doc picked in a month or two so it's set, and I have a goal to work towards. I've met with three PSes in the Philly area and am not sure if my expectations are out of whack. One guy I liked; he had good before/after of bypass patients, he does a lot of breast lifts/augs and his pictures are beautiful... and although he says he has worked on lap band, he worried me when he made a comment about needing to be careful about not pulling down on my abdomen too much and popping the port off. It sounded like he never dealt with the band before. When I asked him later on if I would be the first Lap Band, he said nope. But I feel like I don't have enough information. I'm still gunshy with him...but out of the three I feel the most confident in his ability, his hospital affiliation, the work I've seen, and his bedside manner. One doctor was a complete b*tch to me and I walked out of there offended and furious at the treatment I got, as if she looked down on me for being overweight in the first place. So I thought to check with other doctors, there's a bunch in NY (where I was banded, and who Dr. Ren recommended) but everyone wants $250 just for the consult in NY, and with the cost of gas and driving, this is getting cost prohibitive just from a scouting perspective. IF I'm going to go to NY for the surgery, I want to consult with the doctor I think can do it. I can't afford to blow $1k just to see who I like best. Well I can, but I am absolutely unwilling to. But these websites make me nervous. There's not enough variations in the people with the before/after. I want to see people with my body type, and the good/bad results, so I can be well informed about what I should *REALISTICALLY* expect. I am normally not a fearful person, but I am inexplicably scared at picking the wrong PS when I'm self pay. I want to go under the knife knowing I did the best research I could. I called four other PSes in Philly and when I asked if the doctor had experience with Lap Band, I got answers ranging from "The what?" to "Yes, he's done bypass patients." To which I would say "No, Lap Band. Has he worked with the port with the Lap Band". And she replied "Yes, like I just told you, he's done lots of bypass." It was like a Laurel and Hardy sketch. Any suggestions? Am I making too much out of the Lap Band part - if they have experience with weight loss patients, does it REALLY matter about Lap Band? Sorry for the novel :thumbup: Kate

Ellen - Funny you should mention France. I was looking into France - they have some of the most advanced plastic surgery around - much of it non-surgical!! I was amazed at some of the procedures. It'll be a long time before the overly cautious Puritan-like FDA gets its crap together to investigate and approve it. The band for example is in heavy use in Europe and has been for over a decade! And yet the FDA stalled approval for 11 years or so citing bypass as "safer." Ugh. Also, when I was drilling Dr. Capella about why he didn't do certain procedures, he mentioned that some docs in France were making the "no drains" tummy tuck/body lift standard practice, tho he'd been doing it for some time :tongue2: So he's definitely in tune with Europe. Sorry to hear about your unsatisfactory work. Is this all at your own expense, the revisions? :smile: Becky....EEEE!!! You must be so excited! :thumbup: Are you keeping a thread on it? /will go look

I've been saying for several weeks now that the food bender is over. It wasn't, but I believe that if you say it enough, it becomes true. I meant it every time. And finally, it is TRUE! I am officially back on track, my loves. I read this LBT Mag article about guidelines for the band, and boy I really have been flinging myself off the band-wagon. I've been drinking while I ate. I'd eat too long. I'd eat emotionally. I'd tell myself I need the calories but then eat too much of it. But it's all good. The positive in this situation is: a. I never stopped trying b. I was honest with myself when I fell flat on my face. I think I just enjoyed eating for a while. c. I never blamed the band, or anyone. I knew it was my issue. d. The band actually saved me from gaining any weight. I'm pretty happy with how I handled the last month. Pre-banding, I could never have gotten through it without self loathing, disappointment in myself, and maybe blaming my band for being "broken." Again, I will say it a million times, I am so thankful for this little silicone belt of love on my belleh. It is a welcome friend. It's doing it's job, so I will do mine...by always being willing to look to see how I'm contributing to the problem. Interestingly enough, the first time my weight loss stalled for 6 months, it was indeed the band's fault...I'd gotten unfilled accidentally. We thought there was a leak, turns out there's no leak in my band, but for 6 months I was completely empty and didn't realize it. It was over a year after I'd gotten the surgery so I wasn't going for monthly visits. I survived. And I'm alive to tell the tale, and I've still lost weight after it. I'm beginning to think that I'm experiencing all these setbacks, extra-long-shortcuts and such just so when i get to the end, I can really help new bandees (something that gives me complete joy) with all kinds of setbacks. Look, this isn't your only shot. It isn't the answer to all your problems. This is a hell of a leg up, though. I think in order to be successful with the band, you just have to surrender. Surrender your ego with whether you have willpower or not, surrender your guilt with food, your shame of your body, surrender your expectations of "when" you will have your new life to lead. Your new life started when you made the decision. It's gonna take years to deprogram yourself. So why beat yourself up if you eat a damn cookie? You're just prolonging weight loss. Maybe you should ask why you went for the cookie. I have, many times...and I am slowly understanding myself. If I fall down again, I will get right back up. Cause I ain't ever going back to where I came from, and that fact alone is enough to make me weep with joy. So the bender. It has actually resolved now. Here I am, not drinking with my lunchtime meal and I've gotten about 4 cherries and 1 whole pecan down. And here I sit and wait, for the food is experiencing a traffic jam in my neck. I want to drink. I realized just now that all this time I have been drinking. Even small sips of water to "mush up" the food is making it go down faster. It crept up on me...maybe a sip here and there if I'm eating bread (oh yeah, she eats bread, she loooooves food) and now it's insinuated itself without me knowing. And we go back to "conscious eating" again. It's the damned unconscious eating that seems to get me time and time again. The only thing to do is just keep going back to the basics. My band is also still too tight. I will give this a month or two, because every band has a cycle of restriction when in the body. If I am following all band rules and am eating this little, I'm getting an unfill. I'm at 4.1 in a 4.0 band, and I was previously at 4.4. yes, I've been overfilled. Didn't know that! As a side note, it's a weird feeling to be full at the top of my stomach, and be uninterested in eating another cherry, and then feel my lower stomach growl, even though it's faint. Seriously, I still love my band Where else can you get this ability to make the right choice? I am losing the weight. The band's just taking the crazy voices away in my head who want Peanut Butter Kandykake ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner Which, by the way, if you want to fling yourself off the band-wagon once in a while, is a COMPLETELY satisfying way to do it. Not that I'm endorsing it but I enjoyed it. And that time is now over. 189, here I come!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I've been struggling with this since I got the band 3.5 years ago. The more I question myself, the more my weight loss stalls, the more I understand. There's nothing wrong with you sweetie. This is part of the process. The band just limits hunger, but it does nothing about habits, emotional attachment, etc. You are perfectly fine! You are smart enough and strong enough to figure it out and beat it. It's not going to happen overnight. You want it, you can have it. Just be kind to yourself about it! If you fall down, get up. I just blogged about this very thing :tt2: PM me if you need to blab. I want to be a size 10 more than anything, but I keep sabotaging myself. Obviously before I get the diploma, I have to do more work than others seem to. That's OK with me. Nobody else can take the credit for my size 10 but me in the end :thumbup:

I have a 4 CC band that's been at 4.4 and I was still able to eat. Here's what I finally noticed. 1. I was drinking with my meal. Seriously. Do not drink 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after. 2. Do not eat more than 15 minutes. I was eating an hour at a time, getting pizza, bread, chicken down. I can eat anything I want. When I stop at 15 minutes, I am full. Period! 3. Sugar of any kind will spark your hunger. White flour, potatoes will also do that. 4 ounces of chicken and vegetables should more than fill you. 4. Finally, chew. Very. Slowly. if you're doing all these, and not snacking, and not eating ice cream/liquid calories, you might have stretched your pouch. Fortunately, going back to this regimen will shrink it again. Hang in there! You can always start back over!! Check out my blog, I just came out of a 4 week food eat-o-rama which has been non existent for me since I got the band 3.5 years ago!

I've been saying for several weeks now that the food bender is over. It wasn't, but I believe that if you say it enough, it becomes true. I meant it every time. And finally, it is TRUE! I am officially back on track, my loves. I read this LBT Mag article about guidelines for the band, and boy I really have been flinging myself off the band-wagon. I've been drinking while I ate. I'd eat too long. I'd eat emotionally. I'd tell myself I need the calories but then eat too much of it. But it's all good. The positive in this situation is: a. I never stopped trying b. I was honest with myself when I fell flat on my face. I think I just enjoyed eating for a while. c. I never blamed the band, or anyone. I knew it was my issue. d. The band actually saved me from gaining any weight. I'm pretty happy with how I handled the last month. Pre-banding, I could never have gotten through it without self loathing, disappointment in myself, and maybe blaming my band for being "broken." Again, I will say it a million times, I am so thankful for this little silicone belt of love on my belleh. :thumbup: It is a welcome friend. It's doing it's job, so I will do mine...by always being willing to look to see how I'm contributing to the problem. Interestingly enough, the first time my weight loss stalled for 6 months, it was indeed the band's fault...I'd gotten unfilled accidentally. We thought there was a leak, turns out there's no leak in my band, but for 6 months I was completely empty and didn't realize it. It was over a year after I'd gotten the surgery so I wasn't going for monthly visits. I survived. And I'm alive to tell the tale, and I've still lost weight after it. I'm beginning to think that I'm experiencing all these setbacks, extra-long-shortcuts and such just so when i get to the end, I can really help new bandees (something that gives me complete joy) with all kinds of setbacks. Look, this isn't your only shot. It isn't the answer to all your problems. This is a hell of a leg up, though. I think in order to be successful with the band, you just have to surrender. Surrender your ego with whether you have willpower or not, surrender your guilt with food, your shame of your body, surrender your expectations of "when" you will have your new life to lead. Your new life started when you made the decision. It's gonna take years to deprogram yourself. So why beat yourself up if you eat a damn cookie? You're just prolonging weight loss. Maybe you should ask why you went for the cookie. I have, many times...and I am slowly understanding myself. If I fall down again, I will get right back up. Cause I ain't ever going back to where I came from, and that fact alone is enough to make me weep with joy. So the bender. It has actually resolved now. Here I am, not drinking with my lunchtime meal and I've gotten about 4 cherries and 1 whole pecan down. And here I sit and wait, for the food is experiencing a traffic jam in my neck. I want to drink. I realized just now that all this time I have been drinking. Even small sips of water to "mush up" the food is making it go down faster. It crept up on me...maybe a sip here and there if I'm eating bread (oh yeah, she eats bread, she loooooves food) and now it's insinuated itself without me knowing. And we go back to "conscious eating" again. It's the damned unconscious eating that seems to get me time and time again. The only thing to do is just keep going back to the basics. My band is also still too tight. I will give this a month or two, because every band has a cycle of restriction when in the body. If I am following all band rules and am eating this little, I'm getting an unfill. I'm at 4.1 in a 4.0 band, and I was previously at 4.4. yes, I've been overfilled. Didn't know that! As a side note, it's a weird feeling to be full at the top of my stomach, and be uninterested in eating another cherry, and then feel my lower stomach growl, even though it's faint. Seriously, I still love my band :tt2: Where else can you get this ability to make the right choice? I am losing the weight. The band's just taking the crazy voices away in my head who want Peanut Butter Kandykake ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner :thumbup: Which, by the way, if you want to fling yourself off the band-wagon once in a while, is a COMPLETELY satisfying way to do it. Not that I'm endorsing it :sneaky: but I enjoyed it. And that time is now over. 189, here I come!!!

Amy - {{{{{{{{{{{{WOW}}}}}}}}}}}}}!!! You are seriously BEAUTIFUL! What amazing work. Truly one of the best I've seen. I love that little outfit too, sports bra and the sexy undies....that's what I picture I'll be prancing around in when I think of me being post surgery and at goal :smile: :scared2: Kind of like Flashdance, except without that crazy 80's perm-mullet. Thank you SO much for posting and keeping us in the loop. Frangi...LMAO :tongue2: you crack me up. Make sure you tell us what the doc says.

Foofoo - oh that's right! I do remember reading someone's PS didn't use Binders. I liked knowing why Glad the info's useful to ya. And lol, if you decide to come out to Jersey/Philly, I will absolutely come say hi to you! Frangi - well, as it happened, I was really in an unusual money crunch. The other NJ doc was complimentary, and it was in my head to still visit Dr. Capella before the actual surgery, but I had only one day off and I wasn't sure I could squeeze in 3 appointments within 100 miles of each other. Once my fill doctor recommended him, I decided I had to see him that day. and fortunately, the money crunch unexpectedly cleared up the day before. That tells me it was meant to be Becky - thank you!! Do you have a date yet?? I've seen a lot of great docs in Texas, that's for sure.