Stevie1

Years of on again, off again dieting - four pregnancies and one miscarriage had me in a fat person nightmare.  My stressful life as a military spouse didn't help and the fact that I was never an overweight person, made it even tougher.  I knew how to starve myself. I knew how to eat healthy.  I knew how to go to Weight Watchers, Medifast, Jenny Craige and every other weight loss program out there.  One other thing I knew - I would never ask for help.  That worked out great for me.  I kept climbing the scale.  I was 240 pounds and stood 4 feet 10 inches on a really good day.  I couldn't breath, sleep, walk up a flight of stairs or sit for any amount of time without my hands and feet going numb.  I hated when people would say that I was so beautiful - why didn't I just lose the weight?  Always the skinny people ask this huh? LOL!  My life as an Army Officer's wife was crazy.  My husband was living in Africa for two years after war broke out and my daughters and I had to be evacuated to our home in the States.  The same time my son quit college and joined the Marine Corps as an infantryman.  Seeing as my husband is Special Forces - I was proud and afraid at the same time.  So I ate and ate and ate.  In a two and a half year period, I have lived in the States, Africa and now Italy. My son has done two combat tours in iraq and my husband is gone constantly. insane. Truly insane.  My health was the price that I was paying for taking care of everyone else.  Then...now here's my Lap Band Story:  As my two daughter's were playing softball in April 2009, I was sitting with my friend while cheering on our girls.  She is an OB/GYN nurse at our military hospital.  A person we both knew had had the surgery several months before this and we were talking about her total disregard for the physical changes that the surgery had caused.  She ate constantly, said it was the surgeons fault for her non weight loss and obsessed over food, all the time.  I felt so sorry for her and my friend was angry because she helped push the paperwork through for her to get the approval.  We switched our talk to plastic surgery while screaming for our team. Then my girlfriend looked at me with her hands in the air, yelling her kid's name and said, "Shut the hell up - just go get the approval, get the surgery and stop talking about it!"  I just sat there at the sudden epiphany.  She was right.  That was Saturday and on Monday I was in the doctor's office with butterflies in my stomach trying to talk myself into walking out.  I was put through so much screening because of the failure of the "other" woman.  I met with a nutritionist that was a very religious person who told me that she didn't agree with the surgery and that if God wanted me to be thin - I should do prayer work.  I was so upset but I still had to through this step before approval.  Of course, I did tell the doctor and he was aware of her views.  She also gave me wrong nutritional information that could have been harmful to any one having this procedure.  Then there were the therapy classes.  They were great but weren't about the issues of the surgery.  Along the way I met another woman who eventually had the Lap Band one week after I did and we would endure these classes together.  I got to a point where I was telling everyone who would listen about the surgery.  I went to multiple doctor's visits, classes and nutritional appointments, all to have the surgery. I even said that if they wanted me to walk up and down the street with a sandwich board that read, "Ask me about my Fat Surgery!" for approval - I would.  I asked for help and it was okay.  I didn't die, I didn't neglect anyone in my family and I had the surgery on July 7, 2009.  I was 239 pounds, my BMI was 51.  My first fill was October 7, 2009.  I had lost 39 pounds.  I could breath and for the first time in I don't know how many years...I could sleep flat on my back.  When I awoke on my back - I freaked out, thinking I was gasping for air.  I was not.  My hands and feet had feeling.  I wasn't swollen.  People were cheering me on and would tell me how inspired they were.  I felt great and I still do but the down side to this is that this is a journey and one that I am just beginning.  The therapy classes ended due to the holidays and our infantry soldiers left for yet another deployment.  My doctor said he didn't want to see me until the beginning of the new year and I panicked.  I found ways around eating forbidden foods.  I lost an additional ten pounds by end of November and another two or so given my attention to what I put in my mouth.  Total of 52 pounds since July.  Then came December and I gained around 7 pounds.  My girlfriend laughed at me when she reminded me that a year ago we would have shrugged off the weight gain and kept on eating.  She was right.  I had to refocus on what got me to this place and I have.  It hasn't been too difficult, but it hasn't been a walk in the park either.  I'm just plugging away, one day at a time trying to get healthy.  By this time next year,  all this will have been a dream!