BelieverofOne

Just as many people who struggle with weight loss I have found my rock bottom.  I'm not even sure how much I weigh these days.  The battery in the scalehas gone out and honestly I'm not interested in replacing it because I know for sure that I weigh more than I care too.  Today I was supposed to seemy internal doctor to discuss a diet and meal plan as well as using adipex.  I didnt make it because I spent the entire night up reading about the side effects none of which I care to deal with and it's not as long term as I'd like.  The lap band came up a while ago by my husband.  Honestly I was offendedthat he'd think I was big enough to have such a procedure.  Of course that's the denial talking and the inability to see myself full on (there are no full length mirrors in our house) regularly.  I feel so heavy these days, unable to do simple tasks that I never thought I'd have an issue with.  The thing thatreally did it for me was the other night.  I had been cleaning house all day, changed the linen on the bed and to reward myself and get all of the chemicalsoff of me I jumped in the shower.  Washed all of the essentials and every where else of course, spent extra care just enjoying the warm water.  I climbed into bed and snuggling down in my favorite position I swooshed the covers over me and noticed the "fat people" smell.   My darling husbandnoticed it too I'm sure but didn't say anything he has bad sinuses and I was hoping they were acting up at the time.  I was horribly embarassed.How could I have just bathed and still smell not just any odor but the "fat people" smell.  If anyone knows me they know me to be very cleanand conscious of odors.  That did it I can't believe I'm here and LET myself get this far.  So here I am I spent the other part of the  researching lap band, looking at success stories on youtube and filled out  a form to go to a seminar on Monday.  I'm ready to live healthier and smaller!!!