MarySue33

Hi all, I was banded on Monday and have been anxious to get back to my computer to see how everyone did this week and to update all of you on my own surgery. I had my surgery on Monday with Dr. Currie in Harrisburg, PA. All went well. He did find a hiatal hernia which he repaired while he was in there, but told my friends who were with me that things went well and that things looked good. He keeps patients overnight in the hospital (fine with me) so that we get to have that lovely barium swallow the next morning before we are released. I go back for my first post op appointment a week from tomorrow. The only new advice that I can think of is that if you have not stopped drinking caffeine before your surgery, do it now if you can. I didn't -- I have filled my last few weeks with 'last hurrahs' and 'last suppers' and decided just to go cold turkey on everything -- soda, caffeine, sugar, white bread, other junky stuff, etc. I had a whopping headache in the hospital on the day after surgery. I said something to the nurse and the first thing she asked me was if I had been a big caffeine drinker before surgery. Yep...I had my last diet coke Sunday evening before heading up to Harrisburg. I live about 85 miles from the hospital so I spent Tuesday and Wednesday nights at my friend's. (She only lives 10 min from the hospital.) She had to talk me into it, but it was the smartest thing I could have done! I still felt pretty crummy Tuesday and started to perk up yesterday but there was no way I was ready to drive home 85 miles on those gosh darned PA roads (they have awful roads) with an ouchy tummy. I woke up feeling great today and headed home by noontime. I tucked a pillow between my tummy and the seatbelt and did just fine. My incision spots are still a little ouchy, but thanks to all of you I was prepared for the gas and walked around a lot the past few days and was really glad I had my Gas-X strips and my heating pad. It is just now sinking in that I am really banded...and that I will never be eating junk again. I'll tell you...I didn't realize just how many food ads there are on tv (and not healthy stuff, either) until the past few days. If I saw that TGI Friday's appetizer ad one more time I think I would have had to buy her a new TV...I was ready to hurl the remote right at it! Anyway...I am happy and excited and feeling great and I just wanted to share. Glad to hear that most everyone has had good experiences this week. Best of luck to tomorrow's new bandsters! One last thing...are any of you going to get medic alert bracelets? I asked my dr about him and he said that some patients do and others choose not to. I figure if they need to snake a tube down my throat I want them to know it's there. I will also definitely carry that little card in my wallet, but I don't always have my wallet with me...What do you guys think?

Sorry I was unable to respond sooner to your posts. I was in the hospital this week getting banded :clap2::clap2::clap2: and just got home tonight. Whoever said that he has gotten some advice is right. He has probably talked to an attorney or divorced friends or coworkers and they have told him to pull out his Father of the Year act and to work it big time with the kids. I have my own phrase to describe this behavior..."They can only tap dance so long." Since this is so far out of character for him and such a foreign behavior, you can be sure that it will not last forever. However, they can keep this up for a long time. My guess is that he is going to hope that your daughter (how old is she again?) will choose to live with him if the judge asks her that question. (This is a long way down the road, though, if you are just beginning the process.) When you meet with him next week, I would push your lawyer to try to get a hearing for temporary custody, temporary possession of the house and temporary child support (and alimony if you are eligible for alimony in your state). Push hard for these things. Once they actually happen, you might be surprised how quickly the shine of his Father of the Year crown dulls. True colors always come through...it just sometimes takes a while. Before going to the lawyer next week, I would make a little notebook of all of the YEARS that you have been the primary caregiver to the kids. His few weeks of SuperDad will pale in comparison. I would also ask your attorney to see if there is a way that you can get an order to stop him from 'harrassing' your family. Lay it on thick, if need be. Just don't lie. If you have not already done so, make sure that everything you do on the computer is passworded. I cannot stress this enough. I would also invest about $20 in a flash drive so that you can keep important info with you in your possession at all times. My ex got so mad at me when we were going through our divorce that he picked up my laptop and threw it across the room. He was proud of himself, as he thought that all of my documentation would be lost. Luckily, only the screen was destroyed and I was able to take it to my office and hook it up to a desktop monitor to retrieve my data. Needless to say, that was the last time the laptop came home. Ok...to summarize, here are my words of advice for today... 1. Stay strong. No matter what, do NOT get sucked into the emotional games he is playing. Continue to maintain a strong relationship with your kids -- again, without badmouthing him to them...just tell that part to your lawyer not to your kids. 2. Get your lawyer to move on custody, support, house and alimony. INSIST that the child support and alimony be paid through the court and not directly to you. That way if he ever does start to play games with the child support, the court will come after him and you won't have to do it yourself. 3. Get an order to keep him from calling and harrassing your grandmother or any other family members. 4. Document...document...document... 5. Make sure you have backup copies of your documentation in a safe place -- outside the house, if necessary. Either with a friend or in a lock box at the bank or something like that. I made the mistake of locking my notes and photos in the glove box of my car and he sneakily got access to it and snatched it one night. Just make sure you have duplicates of everything. That is a big lesson that I learned. 6. Breathe and pray. A big part of what he is doing right now is going for drama and emotion. If you DON'T buy into it, it will make him mad and you will see those true colors even sooner. Just keep smiling, moving forward and taking the high road. 7. Limit your contact with him as much as possible. The more you interact, the more he has a chance to push your buttons and the greater the chance you will do something stupid and irrational purely out of emotion. Just keep walking away and smiling. Polite...but distant. That was my ex's undoing. He would be yapping and I wouldn't respond. He got so frustrated that he grabbed me. I bruise easily...and made sure he knew I had photos of those bruises in a safe place. I never had to use them, but they were a good ace in the hole when he started to get arrogant and cocky. We're here for you!

Unfortunately, it will get uglier before it gets better. My advice to you is to stay strong. He will likely waffle between being Mr. Contrite and Dad of the Year to the A@@h*le that you are seeing now. Do not waver. Do not bend. Do not let him EVER see a chink in your armour. You are in control of your life now and THAT is what is killing him. My husband reacted the very same way. The best advice I can give you is something my attorney said to me when I met with him and filed for my own divorce: "MarySue...Do not...I repeat...do NOT...forget what I am about to say. From this point forward decisions will hae to be made. Remember this...that when you make those decisions you must take the emotions out of those decision. Everything you do from this point forward MUST be what is in the best interest of yourself and your kids. You need to think practically and financially from this point forward and NOT emotionally." I heeded his advice and my ex continued to show his true colors. Your car title example is very similar to some of the things I experienced. Keep in mind, though, that it doesn't matter if the title is at his office or in your sock drawer -- your name is on that title and it is just as much your car as his. Here are some other important things to remember to do: Talk to your atty about getting a temporary order for child support and, if your state allows it and your situation warrants it, alimony. Also see about getting temporary custody of the kids and possession of the house. I know that two weeks after I filed, we had a hearing and I got temporary custody of the kids and temporary possession of the house. It is pretty standard in most states, I think -- you can let them know that you need to stay in the family home to care for your daughter. Ask your lawyer about this -- it is pretty standard stuff. NEVER show your hand. I don't care how well you are getting along or how sweet he is being at a given moment (and he will at some point) -- do NOT let your guard down. Do not tell him that you are going the your atty to discuss these things -- just do them. Otherwise it will give him time to prepare a counterattack and get to his atty first. Keep extra sets of keys to both vehicles hidden away. Open your own bank account and do not put one more cent into the joint account(s). Password everything on your computer. Do not let him take anything out of the house that you have not mutually agreed upon. If he starts to do this, call your atty right away. Do NOT settle for anything less than you deserve. If the state guidelines indicate a range -- do not settle for the lowest amount of that range. You will have to live with those decisions for years to come if you do. These are decisions that will impact your children's care and education. Again, your lawyer can guide you on this. Make sure that there is something in the divorce agreement that addresses that he will be responsible for at least 50% of your childrens' college educations and for at least 50% of their health and dental insurance. Make sure that it is stipulated that he have a life insurance policy for a dollar amount that your atty can recommend and that your kids are the beneficiaries of that policy. I am trying to remember other things and, as I do, I will PM them to you. Just don't let him bully or intimidate you -- that is the main thing. Be prepared, though -- as he sees you becoming more and more empowered, he will likely react negatively.

Do any of you remember 'Beautiful Krissy...the beautiful doll with hair that grows...and grows'? It was a doll that I desperately wanted for Christmas when I was a little girl. Santa brought me a Krissy doll and she had a knob on her back that adjusted the length of her long, flowing red hair. Now THAT would be a handy tool for fill adjustment. I think once I get my band, though, I will be leaving all fills and unfills to my surgeon. Keep in mind that when you pay for your band, you are paying for more than just the hunk of plastic with a tube to be zip tied onto your stomach -- you are paying for his expertise and experience. Heck, that is why we have an entire forum to discuss the docs -- good and bad experiences -- so we can make smart, healthy and wise choices. If the one woman who said she is a physician and a diabetic isn't touching hers...you can be sure that I won't be touching mine, either. Unless, of course...they come out with that Beautiful Krissy knob anytime soon!

I have to fly for work relatively often and about a year ago (at the time I was a size 24 and should have asked for an extender, but opted for the regular seatbelt -- and sure it was going to pop at the seams at any moment while it was digging very, very deeply and uncomfortably into my tummy) I realized as I was walking down the aisle to find a seat that everyone was diverting their eyes away from me -- even more than normal. I realized at that point that I was the fat person that they did not want to have crammed in between them. I found the skinniest two little things on the plane and ended up sitting between them, as i figured it would allow me not to encroach on anyone else's airspace quite as much as if I had sat next to a regular or plus sized person. The young ladies next to me were absolutely gracious, but I found myself holding my arms as tightly to my sides as possible -- trying not to take up any more room than absolutely necessary. It was at that point that I decided it was time to do something about my weight. Next year at this time I don't want to be that fat lady that everyone prays won't sit next to them on a plane. I want to be that slim little chickie that everyone HOPES will sit next to them!

I have been divorced for more than 10 years now and I can confirm that it does get easier. There will be points in time when your kids may lash out in anger because of things that their dad has said were 'your fault', but just keep on doing what you're doing -- taking the high road -- no matter what. My kids were in 1st grade and 6th grade when I got divorced. I never, ever, ever badmouthed their dad to them (my girlfriends got an earful, though, you can be sure of that!). Dad was the hero for the first few years (he was the fun 'weekend adventure' guy -- I was the one who made them pick up their rooms and do their homework) , but as the kids got older they did, indeed, see his true colors on their own. My kids and I are have a great relationship and are extremely close. In fact, friends of mine (both married and single) have told me that they envy the relationship I have with my kids. Even though it was hard at the time to not get sucked into the ugliness, I know that it was the right thing to do and I don't regret it for a moment. I have a few friends who make a point of badmouthing the ex spouse in front of the kids and I have seen what it has done to their kids and it breaks my heart. I believe that it is much healthier for kids to be raised in a happy, healthy and loving home with one parent than to be subject to the emotional and verbal battleground on a daily basis of living with two parents who cannot even stand to be in the same room as one another. My kids are living proof of this. I have two wonderful, well adjusted kids. One just finished college and the other is a junior in HS. I have a few friends whose marriages were awful and who stayed together 'because of the kids'. The only thing, in my opinion, they did was to screw those kids up emotionally and to give them an awful example of what marriage is supposed to be like. Also...are you sure you have to 'give up' his family? I remained extremely close with my mother in law after my divorce. It was tricky at first, but I loved her dearly and told her that just because I was divorcing him, I wasn't divorcing her, too. We were able to make it work. Maybe you can, too!

This is precisely what I was looking for. Thanks a bunch!

Great idea...it will keep the busybodies in a tizzy for weeks! Hmmm...now I just have to think of something fun to mess with them! Thanks, Jack. :confused:

I could swear I have seen a post with a list of what previously banded folks have recommended as a surgery day supply kit. I don't remember much from the list, but it included things like Gas-X strips, etc. Can anyone either point me toward that list or come up with a new one? Thanks much! T-minus 10 days and counting 'til band date. :clap2:

I was worried about the same thing with some of the gossipy busybodies where I work, so I 'planted a seed' with a few of them. I didn't lie...just 'alluded' to the fact that it was something 'female/plumbing related' and kinda personal and that I would appreciate if they didn't disclose anything to anyone else. (First, I didn't tell them anything specific that they could disclose and second, I know they will blab and that the rumor mill will be flying at top speed. By the time I get back to work who knows what they will have come up with -- you know how stories get so convoluted.) I'm actually banking on them blabbing and the story being that I had something totally different by the time I return. That's how these women operate. I'm counting on it! :confused: I also have started eating healthy at work to 'throw them off' these few weeks before surgery and have commented that maybe I can use the time after my surgery to eat less while I don't feel well and I am recuperating. Since we won't lose as fast as gastric bypass, they should not have a clue. At least that is what I am hoping. The other good thing is that if someone is bold enough to ask if I had gastric bypass (and I wouldn't put it past the rude ones) I can honestly say, "No...I haven't. I know a lot of people who have had the surgery, but it is just too extreme for me."

Hi Lady, Em and Lots - I just got the call today from my surgeon's office that October 9th will be my big day, too! My doctor does not require a pre-op liquid diet, either, so don't stress about that part too much. As you can tell by reading the posts here, every surgeon does things a little bit differently. I am confident with my doctor, as I have had the chance to talk to a few of his patients and they are all very pleased with their lap band results, so I am going to take my medical advice from him, rather than from everyone here who does not know my personal medical history. It sounds like some of you will be headed home a little earlier than me -- I will be kept overnight in the hospital and he will make sure everything is working properly the next morning before I go home. Another difference from what some doctors do, but I am sure that each doctor has his or her reasons for what they do. Forums like this can be great resources, but sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing and forget that each of us is different. Your doctor knows you and he knows your body. If you have a doctor you are comfortable and confident with -- a doctor you trust -- you are off to a great start. The other thing to be careful about around here is to let the negativity (not in this particular thread, mind you) or the horror stories scare you. When I first found this forum, I read the lap band horror/complication stories and it made me start to worry that I had made a bad decision. As long as you keep thinbgs in perspective, I think you'll be fine. Meanwhile...it looks like I am in very good company on the 9th!

I have a different situation at work, but still a sticky one - I work in HR and with a bunch of busybodies and gossips. I have opted not to tell anyone at work what I am having done. I started off by just saying, "It's kind of personal." That did not deter some of those whose mothers did not teach them good manners. One lady came up to me today and said, "I forgot what you told me you were having done...what did you say it was, again?" I just said, "I don't believe I mentioned it..." but she was still pushing for an answer. Unbelievable. She is not the only pushy one. To some of the others I have been 'alluding' to it being something 'female-related' (I'm a female, after all, so it isn't a total lie.) I don't feel like I am lying...it is nobody's business.

It looks like I am the newest October bandster. I got my call today and I am scheduled for Monday, October 9th with Dr. Currie in Harrisburg, PA. It will be here before I know it! I am really excited, but now that it is getting close I am going to be getting more anxious. I have been eating like a pig for the past month -- every day another 'last supper', it seems -- and have gained so much weight that I barely have anything that fits. My doctor doesn't require a preop liquid diet, but I am going to start doing one, anyway, in the morning. I figure it can't hurt. The countdown begins...

When I was in HS I used to drive to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh in -- and feeling very hungry after starving myself all day on Monday to make up for a 'bad' week and even worse weekend of sneak eating. On the way to the meeting I would skip the drive through and zip into the grocery store to pick up not one, but two, frozen Sara Lee cheesecakes. (It has been probably 20 years since I have had a Sara Lee frozen cheesecake, but just typing this is making me salivate.) I had to pick them up BEFORE the meeting because they would need to have time to thaw a little bit so they wouldn't break my teeth! After the meeting I would either reward or console myself depending on the magic numbers on the scale by gorging myself on both of the cheesecakes on the drive home. (They were small...at least that is how I rationalized it at the time.) I would peel the foil pan back and hold a mostly-frozen cheesecake in one hand while I steered with the other hand. I grew up on a farm and this was before the days that littering was a big deal, so I would zip down a back road and chuck the foil pan and the cardboard lid out the window and would just make sure to sweep the tasty graham cracker crumbs off my lap and off of the front seat of my dad's car to destroy the evidence. No wonder I never lost much on Weight Watchers! More recently, I have a car that automatically drives itself into the McDonald's drive thru every morning on my way to work. I live in a semi-rural area and we don't have all that many choices for fast food, so I keep hitting the same one over and over again. You know it's bad when on Friday the drive thru lady says, "See you Monday!" and the fact that I knew not only WHEN she was going on vacation, but that she was going to visit her in-laws who live in the mountains. I was starting to know more about her than I was about my coworkers! I have not yet been banded, but I am going to start making a conscious effort tomorrow to drive right on by the drive thru. The lady at the window may file a missing person's report...but it will feel good to feel like I am getting some control back! Mary

Ignore them...you have lost 37# in less than 3 months. I'll bet not many of them can say that they have accomplished that feat. I know with me, I am heavy enough that nobody even notices until I lose almost 50#. Once I pass that threshold they all act amazed...as if I lost it all overnight. The good thing about the band will be that this time I will finally be able to keep it off for good!

I am scheduled to have my surgery with The Weight Loss Clinic (Drs. Weiger, Currie and DiMarco) in Harrisburg, PA. They have a self-pay option that includes 1 year of follow up for $13650. Mary "Being powerful is like being a lady; If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." ~ Margaret Thatcher