MarySue33

Harford County here...Two and a half weeks out and down 12.5#.

It's funny how all of our doctors give us slightly different tips to get to the same goal. Not unlike coaches of football teams all trying to get to the Super Bowl, but with a little twist on the precise playbook. That's the way I think of it when I read the broad spectrum of pre/post op diet requirements. Mine wanted me to watch my Protein intake from day 1 after I got home from the hospital, so I lived on protein shakes for the first two weeks. I found a great one (not cheap, but tasty and loaded with protein, high in Calcium and low carb) so I stuck with it. I get 30 grams of protein first thing every morning by having my Protein shake for breakfast. After that, it is easy to get the rest in before the end of the day. I have not had to resort to the whey powder yet, as I am keeping my protein levels up with just the one shake a day and the food. I was lucky when I went to the doctor last Friday. He said I was healing extremely well and I got to bump up to mushies after my appointment. Starting this weekend I get to try 'real food', but I'll probably lean toward mushies for a wee bit longer, just because I'm feeling a little chicken. Speaking of different diets, did yours say anything about red meat? I am not to have red meat for 3 months. By then, I am hoping that I don't even want it any longer! Right now I am happy as a clam with my mushies, I seem to have plenty of energy and I am not too hungry -- probably due to the high protein?

I think you are probably perfectly normal. When I had my final presurgery meeting at the doctor's office, they actually addressed this and said not to be surprised if about 3 weeks out I felt depressed...that it was very typical. I know that I have been far more emotional than normal over the past week or so -- tears welling up at the drop of a hat. This, too, shall pass. Each day we get stronger and stronger and stronger.

This is good news...I am glad that you got to spend a nice big chunk of time with her going over everything. I agree with Kat. Rest up and take care of yourself. You will need it. Be prepared, too, for his reaction once he hears back from his attorney re: the new proposals. That is why you need to rest and stay strong. If he starts to try to engage you in anything over this, the best thing to do is to politely walk away. Sending hugs...M.

Donna (r2ht4u)...where in Maryland are you? I live in Harford County.

I am just on mushies now, but what is the best way to train yourself to make a meal take longer. I have always been a gulper and a wolfer of food, so this is one of the hardest parts for me. I even practice chew,chew, chewing my mush and setting my silverware down, but I still can barely make my little 4 oz last more than 10 minutes. Any advice would be terrific. My other big learning curve item is not drinking with meals. That one is hard, but I have been able to remember not to do it all but twice so far.

Yep...tune out the naysayers and change the radio station when you start hearing that negative stuff. You sometimes have to do the same thing here, too. The week before I was banded I was very judicious about which posts I read, as I didn't want the horror stories to scare me away. Talk to your surgeon and get comfortable with his or her stats, as those are the numbers that will be most important to you -- not worst case scenario horror stories. Also, follow your diet directions to a 'T' the first months after surgery to give yourself a chance to heal and to get off to a good start.

I am only a few days behind you, but from what I have read this is totally normal. You haven't had a fill yet, right? Anything we lose between now and the first fill is a bonus. It is only after we have our fills and our restriction that the band is doing its job. Hang in there...

Hi Cherie, I travel a lot for my job, too, and expect that it will just take lots of extra planning on my part to remain successful. I expect a couple of my staples to be the shelf stable tuna and salmon cups (Chicken of the Sea has some great ones -- lots of good marinades and flavors), sugar free Jello (for a little snack, if necessary) and Protein shakes. In fact, I am still on mushies right now and my refrigerator and pantry are loaded with portion controlled items -- from tuna and salmon to cottage cheese and sugar free puddng and jello. The little cups are more expensive, but it is money well spent, in my opinion. I plan to get into the habit of just ordering sides and Soups or moving my food around a lot on my plate, while leaving most of the portion uneaten when I have to dine out in restaurants with colleagues. I have opted to keep my band a secret for now, so I do not want to draw a lot of attention to myself throughout this process. I am confident that it can be done. I was on NutriSystem about a year ago and was abe to pull it off while I was on the road -- and it had a lot less flexibility than my band meals will have -- through good planning. I always pack more 'approved' foods than I ever will eat, just to make sure that I do not ever feel forced to make bad food choices. I am off the road for a few weeks, but we shall have to keep one another posted of tips and secrets that we learn along the way for eating on the road.

I just had mine done two weeks ago. I paid $13,650 in Harrisburg, PA. My fee included an overnight stay in the hospital and the first year of follow up care.

I had written you a long response the other day when you had posted the previous note but somehow it never made it to the forum. I guess maybe my computer timed out. This will be the reader's digest version. 1. You MUST get him out of that house. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Do not, I repeat, do NOT back down on this. It is not going to get better. It is only going to get worse and more stressful. If you cannot do this for yourself, do it for your daughter. Think of the emotional stress she is under living in the middle of a warzone...even if it is more of a cold war than actual fighting. It is NOT fair to her. Talk to your atty about getting temporary possession of the house. Apparently, his lawyer has already touched on the subject with him from what you have said. Do not discuss this with him. All it will do is add more fuel to the fire and will inflame emotions -- especially if you tell him that getting him out of the house is not an immediate option (it should be, though!) and then you change your mind. Do not get sucked into his games. 2. Do NOT respond to any of his emails. Period. Emotions run wild at this time and if you respond, you may unwittingly provide him with fuel for the fire. If you are both living in the same house, there is no need to read an email from him. If he cannot say something to you directly, let him pay his atty to say it to your atty. This is a very emotional time. Emails can be misconstrued on a good day. The likelihood of that is much higher now than under normal circumstances. I would not delete his emails. I would just read them and take a big, deep breath and save them for your atty. Just walk away from the computer before you respond and stoop to his level. 3. Do not get sucked into feeling bad for him. You MUST do your best (for your own sake and for the sake of your daughter) to harden yourself against having any sympathy toward him. He has (and will continue to) the ability to turn the sad act on and off. He knows it works. Don't get sucked in. Once you can detach yourself from him emotionally in this way, it will be a lot easier. (Another reason to get him out of the house. ) 4. Remember me telling you that his Father of the Year act would fade? It sounds like it already has with him changing his mind about taking your daughter out of town. If you stay strong, he will soon reveal his true colors. However, if he sees that you are affected by his ups and downs, he will use them to his advantage. 5. Kat gives excellent advice. She is right. Every time she calls you back, reads a document, gives advice, etc. Ka-ching! Some of the time it will be worth it (like getting him out of the house...I know I sound like a broken record, but you MUST work toward that goal), but othertimes a concise documentation list is best. Document, document, document...and make sure that you have copies of your documentation in a safe place outside of the house. This may mean keeping it with you at work or at a friend's, but do not leave it in the house. If he finds it, it will give him advance warning of what you are planning. 6. Remember that he is lashing out because he feels he is losing control. That is where the head games come from. If he sees a chink in your armour, he will do anything in his power to break you down. Never let him see you sweat. 7. Keep your children at the forefront of everything. If you do that, you will find strength that you did not even know you had (aka the Mama Bear Syndrome) and you will be able to stand up to his crazy games. 8. Do a photo inventory and also recreate lists from memory of missing items. One of the things that you may want to ask your atty about is getting an order of some sort so that he cannot remove anything from the house until you have finalized a settlement agreement. 9. You may have to live in the same house for a while, but you do not have to have conversations with him. Just walk away, go in another room and close and lock the door if he starts in on you. Turn some music on and put on some headphones, read a good book and soak in a long, hot bath. Even if it is only temporary, it will help to reduce your stress level. Hugs...M.

Ladyred, I was banded the same day as you and I am feeling the same way. My doctor still has me on full liquids for another five days (I see him in the morning and I am hoping that he will tell me that I am healing wonderfully and will scoot me to mushies after my appointment. I never thought I would be so grateful for yogurt or baby food!). I am supposed to be drinking 1 oz of Water every half hour. The first few days I set a timer, but the past week I have not been as stringent as I should be. Like you, I guess I figured liquids would slip right through. Maybe I will find out more tomorrow when I see him. Just out of curiosity...when you are eating your mushies are you supplementing with Protein powder? Right now I am still drinking a couple of Protein shakes a day, but I am getting soooooooo tired of them. The nutritionist at the doc's office recommended adding whey powder to things to boost the protein. Are you guys doing that?

As usual, he is just keeping up the head games, methinks. He is doing it for only one reason -- because he feels powerless right now. First you took away his control by losing the weight and now you have further taken it away by filing for the divorce. This, in my opinion, is his last ditch effort at trying to control the situation. My ex was extremely passive aggressive throughout our marriage and was also prone to the types of behaviors you are experiencing. Like yours, he would break something or throw something away -- just to tick me off. When I would react and start to yell and ask him WHY he would just get a smirk on his face and walk away. In his eyes, he 'won' that way. Did you get a chance to talk to your lawyer about getting him out of the house until things are final? I still think that is the best option. There is no way that you can go on living like this for months. That is the only way that you will probably be able to stop this sort of behavior. See what your lawyer says. Tell her about this nonsense and that you want him out of the house until the divorce is final. Sending hugs...

Mine is right above my belly button.

Dessia, You must be in Hawaii...glad to hear that you are ok. I was just ready to add to the comments about not needing to tell, as from an HR perspective (my area of expertise) civilians do not. However, you are in a totally different situation than the rest of us. That said, my best advice would be to get a note from your surgeon that details your work restrictions for the next four weeks. I even need to get that type of thing for my employer and I have a desk job -- that will take you off the hook of having to just tell him without any documentation. Plus, they probably will need it, anyway, in case there are any questions in the weeks ahead as to what you can or cannot do. You may want to talk to the base doctors to see how they typically handle a situation where someone has had private surgery and what they require as far as documentation re: restrictions. They may even want to examine you, too, to determine when you are fit for your regular duties again. I would definitely have something in hand either from the base docs or from your surgeon related to your work restrictions and not just rely on telling him verbally.

What a difference a week makes! I had my surgery last Monday and I would never have guessed that I would feel this good in a week. I added a few additions/comments to the shopping list below (in blue) based on my experience. I am sure others will be able to do the same.

I agree with Chrispygal...call your doctor's office to see what they would like you to do. If there is one thing that you learn really quickly on here is that every doctor has different requirements for his or her patients. For example, I didn't have to have a special pre op diet and that my only requirement before surgery was nothing to eat or drink after midnight the night before. However, my post op diet seems to be a lot more strict than a lot of the others I see here. The best thing is to follow what your doctor tells you to do. At least that's my opinion. Tomorrow it will be one week post op for me. As of this morning, I am down 11# and going strong. :clap2:

I'll keep my fingers crossed that we both have positive results with the insurance company!

I have been running into this recently when I have interviewed for jobs. I have been the 'first runner up' more times than I can count in the past year. I know that I probably am the most qualified applicant, but I don't push it. I figure that if they are like that, I probably am better off not working there, anyway. I experienced this about 20 years ago when I lost 60#. I was immediately promoted to a new and much higher level position. I honestly thought it was due to my hard work, but that bubble deflated when a coworker (who had lost 100# two years earlier) said, "Amazing, isn't it? Six months ago they didn't appreciate you. Now that you're no longer a plus size girl, you get promoted. The same thing happened to me two years ago." It believe that discrimination against the obese is the last politically acceptable form of discrimination in our society. I suspect that it goes back to a lot of those stereotypes about fat people. You know the ones...that we are lazy and slow and that we miss a lot of work, etc. Funny thing is, I am a (working hard not to be anymore) workaholic who puts in more hours than my slim little colleagues and whose work is always impeccable. I am the go-to person for a number of things, once they realize what a gem they have. I have a ton of sick time because I am always at work (but I did take two weeks off to recover from my surgery -- See...progress!) I am not too happy at my current job, but I have kind of decided not to even look hard for a new job until after Christmas. By then I will be down a nice number of pounds and I will be getting job offers again.

www.slimscript.com

I like SlimScript. They tast almost like a 'real' shake and are high in Protein and low in sugar and carbs. I order mine online and I have them set up to autoship 1x a month. This is the info on the chocolate ones. To me, there is no comparison in flavor and nutrition to anything else I have found. Nutrition Facts Serving Size (31g) Amount Per Serving Calories 120 Calories from Fat 25 % Daily Value* Total Fat 2.5g 4% Saturated Fat 1.5g 7% Cholesterol 35mg 12% Total Carbohydrate 6g 2% Dietary Fiber 3g 11% Soluble Fiber 1g Insoluble Fiber 1g Sugars 2g Protein 20g Vitamin A 50% Vitamin C 50% Calcium 50% Iron 0% Vitamin D 50% VItamine E 50% Vitamin K 50% Thiamin 50% Riboflavin 50% Niacin 50% Vitamin B-6 50% Folate 50% Vitamin B-12 50% Biotin 50% Pantothenic Acid 50% Phosphorus 50% Iodine 50% Magnesium 50% Selenium 50% Copper 50% Manganese 50% Chromium 50% Molybdenum 50% Chloride 1% * Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs Calories 2,000 2,500 Total Fat Less Than 65g 80g Sat Fat Less Than 20g 25g Cholesterol Less Than 300mg 300mg Sodium Less Than 2400mg 2400mg Total Carbohydrate Less Than 300g 375g Dietary Fiber Less Than 25g 30g Calories per gram: Fat 9 Carbohydrate 4 Protein 4 Ingredients: Whey Protein Concentrate, Identiry Preserved Soy Protein Isolate, Whole Milk Powder, Cocoa Powder, Maltodextrin, Natural & Artificial Flavor, Vitamin Mineral Blend (Magnesium Oxide, Vitamin E Acetate, Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C), Sodium Selenate, Biotin, Niacinamide, Zinc Oxide, Potassium Iodide, Vitamin A Palmitate, d-Calcium Pantohydrate, Phytonadione (Vitamin K), Cyanocobalamin (Vitamin B-12), Manganese Sulfate, Copper Sulfate, Sodium Molybdate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride(Vitamin B6), Chromium Chloride, Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Thiamine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B1), Folic Acid, Cholecalciferol, Dipotassium Phosphate, Sodium Chloride, Sucralose, Oat Fiber HF600, Apple Fiber, Orange Fiber.

Recuperating at your sister's house will actually be better than doing it at home! I spent the first two nights after I got out of the hospital at a girlfriend's and it was the smartest thing I could have done. I was banded on Monday and just came home today. I feel like it gave me a great jumpstart on recuperating.

A lot of folks have said that they carry their band card in their wallet with their driver's license, but I like to spend a lot of time in the woods and I don't always have my wallet with me, so I figure to be safe I will probably just get either a watch or a pendant and wear it religiously.

Thanks, Chrispygal! I have been keeping mine pretty private, too, but I think I'll lean toward safety on this one. I have been looking online and there are lots of bracelets and watches that don't look like the clunky old ugly medic alert bracelets that spring to mind when someone mentions the subject. There are actually a number of somewhat discreet and stylish options available. Check out the following: www.laurenshope.com www.aboutmejewelry.com http://www.rosemarybeads.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=9&zenid=556a7995a474075c856bfb5392415558 http://www.hahoriginals.com/catalog/default.php/cPath/64 http://www.milnejewelry.com/Doc_Tock/watch07.html http://www.petitebaublesboutique.com/store/WsDefault.asp?Cat=MedicalIdAlertWatches Right now I think I am leaning toward a watch. All of the private medical info will be on the inside and the medic alert symbol is on the clasp or on the face. My family knows, but they are sworn to secrecy, so they will never tell. Most of my friends are polite enough not to ask. They didn't pry when I was having surgery -- they are just all there for me and being very supportive. I work with some really bold and nosy folks and if one of them asks me what that is for, I will just politely say, "It's kinda personal..." and leave it at that. It is none of their business, anyway. I love keeping them guessing...it drives them nuts!

I was just banded on Monday and my surgeon repaired a previously unknown to me hiatal hernia, too. I am self pay and I am starting to think that maybe that's a good thing -- that perhaps the insurance will pick up some of the cost of the surgery now, including anesthesia, etc. Has anyone else had experience with that aspect of it? Even if I have to pay for it myself, it's fine with me. I am just glad that it is fixed now and I am starting out right.