BetsyB

I was very lucky to find that everyone I told was and has been remarkably supportive. Really, I think most were relieved for me. In that regard, I have had a wonderful experience. I did struggle with some guilt from within---and I wonder if that's not what you're really struggling with. It helps when people around us are supportive, but they can't really manage our feelings--those come from us. Guilt is kind of a wasted emotion. I think it's realistic to regret that it's come to pass that we require surgery. However, once we've acknowledged that it does, in fact, represent a great solution to a very real problem, there's no need for guilt. Move forward joyfully--truly. This will be such a gift to you. Don't allow your joy to be colored by an emotion that serves no function.

Oops--I see you're already banded--that kind of changes things, if you just need a fill doc. I love Dr. Lahmann, and am happy to drive to see him. But I am not sure I'd do so if he hadn't done my surgery, and there were a decent fill center nearby. Where in the area will you be living?

I can't say enough good things about Brian Lahmann at Silver Cross Hospital in Joliet. I don't know where you'll be living, but he is worth the drive. His partner, Christopher Joyce, is as good as he. The preop information, the postop aftercare, the staff---all terrific. For plastic surgeons, I have not yet found one in Chicago or the Chicago burbs I'm sold on. There is one woman in Glenview (I think) who is also at U of C who looks promising, though. Her name escapes me, but I will let you know what I find out. I'm willing to travel for the right PS, so I'm not limiting my search to the Chicago area. My current frontrunner is in Houston.

I agree with the above advice. Additionally, I would give the surgeon a call. I don't think your illness is band-related, but he may want to call an Rx for an antiemetic into your local pharmacy. I hope you feel better fast!

body fat measurement by bioelectric impedence (like scales use) is really very inaccurate---it can't really make much of a distinction between fat and many of the body's soft tissues. Jacqui, there's no WAY you're 30 percent fat!

Immediately after banding, I could drink fluids at my normal pre-op rate; it wasn't until I got good restriction this past week (5 months out; 5 fills) that I have felt a little bit of backflow if I drink too quickly. Even now, though, i don't have to take tiny sips--I just have to be sure not to gulp more than 1/2 up or so at once. (And it passes through very quickly, so I don't have to wait long to have more.) Listen to your body--if you're swollen, smaller sips might be best for you. But your body will definitely tell you.

Sounds like a seroma--I didn't have it post-banding, but did post-c section. It was messy, but manageable, and really did not impede healing by very much. My doctor did ultimately prescribe an oral antibiotic prophylactically--but it was no biggie. Just messy! (Instead of a dressing, I affixed sanitary napkins to my clothes; that way, there was a little more circulation around the site to prevent excoriation due to moisture being trapped, and the Fluid didn't leak onto my clothes. Weird, but my doctor thought it was a great idea, and it spared me a LOT of laundry. Serosanguinous fluid usually washes out, but yuck. The drainage tapered off gradually so that, after a couple of weeks, there was nothing going on at all, other than great wound healing :tt1:

Try not to stress too much. First, it doesn't really accomplish anything except make you feel terrible. And secondly, it's out of your hands right now. If you meet the criteria spelled out by your policy, you'll be approved--simple as that. It is terribly nerve-wracking to wait, but you can rest assured that if you do meet their guidelines, the answer you get, when you finally get it, will be the one you want. Hang in there!

What weight loss efforts have they attempted so far? Have they been compliant with these plans, at least to the extent that any of us has been able to comply with a realistic, health-focused eating plan? I know that dieting doesn't work for any of us, but lifestyle changes DO. They are still kids--and therefore are still learning about how to care for themselves. If they haven't learned proper nutrition and the importance of daily vigorous exercise, I'd work VERY hard on teaching those crucial life skills. Their weight is high enough that it may remain a significant concern, and I'm not suggesting that banding is a bad option for the future. But if you're just now encouraging them to ride bikes and exercise, it seems that it might be jumping the gun. The developmental tasks of the adolescent involve learning self-care. You will not find a better time to really teach the importance of good nutrition, exercise, and moderation. There is plenty of time for adult decisions and adult body modifications, if they are unable to master these skills. Adolescent males are notoriously noncompliant with medical regimens, in general. I'd want to postpone banding until I was sure that they'd be able to work with the band. I also have some ethical issues with banding an overweight teen who has not shown interest in weight loss. For minors, parents give consent--and I have a little bit of trouble with this. Making a lifelong alteration in one's body is a HUGE step. I don't know about you, but I wrestled with the decision to be banded. If someone else had imposed it on me, it would have been really problematic. Further, it probably would not have worked. If you're not ready, you're not ready; the band will not make you so. Looking back, do I wish that safe, reliable banding was available sooner? Sure. Do I wish I could have saved years of fruitless weight loss battles? Sure. But if my mother had initiated banding for me? I think it would have been tremendously damaging to me. I believe it's something that needs to come from them.

Remember that the best way to combat stress is to take care of your body. Eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest really can have HUGE impact on your ability to cope with stress. I do work from home--but in a sort of small niche (educational publishing). It's worked out really well for me. I wasn't always in this field--but parlayed my education and experience into a job that has allowed me to be at home with my kids. PM me if you want to talk about it--sometimes fresh eyes can help you think of things to do with your background that hadn't occurred to you.

I do measure--I try to remember to do it monthly. It's great, because it does give good information when the scale doesn't seem to be moving as quickly as I'd like. Overall, I've found that I tend to lose an inch for every pound and a half or so I lose. Just tallying the areas I measure, I've lost close to 40 inches since my surgery, and have lost just over 60 pounds. It's VERY gratifying to see those numbers, and I'm really glad I started measuring the month after surgery. (I wish I'd done it before---just like I wish I had a good BEFORE picture; but I was sort of avoiding numbers and cameras at that point!) Not to split hairs, but muscle doesn't weigh more than fat. A pound is a pound is a pound. But muscle is denser, and takes up less space. It is also metabolically active, which is great--the more you build, the better for your metabolism. Fat just sits there---burning almost no calories. Muscle earns its keep! That's why I believe exercise is just as crucial to weight loss and (especially) maintenance as eating the right things.

ha! I've lost an elephant's penis. Who'da thunk it?

Phantom gall bladder pain is really very common---it can persist for quite a while. I hope you get good relief soon!

For me, the point of the band was simple: it removed the physical hunger that impeded long-term loss and maintenance of that loss. My body needs ridiculously few calories--and while it was possible for me to stick to an 800-1000 calorie diet before banding, it was tremendously difficult to maintain that level long term. It's the level I require in order to lose. The upper end of the range is what I require to maintain. That's with a fair amount of daily exercise. Hunger was a real impediment to my success. I spent years fighting a battle that just wasn't winnable. The band has taken that out of the equation. Now that I've got pretty good restriction, I can stick within the calorie range I need fairly effortlessly. Easy way out? You bet. I am grateful EVERY day for the opportunity to get and use this tool.

None of the above. My doctor has his patients begin on pureed protein three days after surgery.

I agree that it's disordered eating (it's often considered adjunctive to bulimia), and wonder why the facilitator of the meeting didn't terminate that line of discussion. (It should be pursued with the individuals and the doctor, but it should not have been permitted to continue as a support-group type topic; it should have clearly been identified as heading down a dangerous path.)

Yay! Thanks!

Yes, you'll learn to eat normally--none of us really did, before surgery. We may have eaten properly, but even then, we ate too much. Gastric bypass produces a faster loss, but the body is pretty amazing and compensates, after the first year and a half or so, for much of the malabsorption that helps promote loss. So, after a honeymoon period---even if the pouch is not stretched--the "effortless" loss stops. To be a long-term success, with either RNY or banding, you have to commit to long-term changes. The great thing about the band is that you can continue to tweak its adjustment ad infinitum---so if you feel as though you've lost a bit of restriction, you can have it adjusted. "Normal?" Yes. But definitely not the "normal" lots of us started out with!

You will do great. Your expectations are aligned with reality, and you are committed to success.

Laura, am I correct in assuming it's okay for any of us who'd like to join to add our info to the spreadsheet? I know you stated, but are we starting this coming week (i.e., tomorrow)? I am not clear on dates. Thanks! (I'm hoping to get to my goal by Christmas--though perhaps a tad ambitious.)

I was raised Dutch Reformed, then Presbyterian, and went to Catholic school. But I am Unitarian Universalist. Some UUs are humanist, some are atheist, some are pagan. Many come from Judeo-Christian backgrounds, some are "cradle" UUs, and most of us tend to believe there is no one "right path," other than one that is guided by good, kind, loving behavior. UUA: Visitors (I tell my friends who don't understand an accept-all, creedless/dogma-free faith that we sort of say, "Eh, it's all good. Open the wine and let's eat!" There's much more to it than that--social responsibility and service are very important--but we tend to get our best ideas when sharing a nice meal and wine :smile:)

I think Leigha is right on the money here. It's not an all or nothing proposition. You do have to make changes---but they don't have to mean eliminating the things you love. Sometimes, you can substitute and be satisfied. Other times, you can have smaller portions of what you love And sometimes, you find that, after all the angst, you really don't miss something you thought you would after all. Getting appropriately filled is crucial---if you're postponing appointments, ask yourself why? Is it because you're afraid of having to give up the things you love? If so, remember that the band is a tool that can help you enjoy those very things--in appropriate amounts. I think Cocoa might also be on to something, too: treatment for depression might make a world of difference. No one should suffer needlessly.

It is normal, Leeanne---it really is. Over time, you'll find that food issues take less precedence in your life. But now--when you're HUNGRY, and not well-restricted, well...it's really hard. It gets SO much easier. Going to restaurants will fit in with your banded life in a way that is so much more liveable very soon. And when the weight loss gains momentum, it becomes easier still, because that is so motivating. You're in a rough spot now. And your negative feelings are normal. But they will dissipate as you start seeing/feeling the results you want. Have fun at your reunion!

Eek! My doctor and hospital bills were separate--I hope you don't find out that you have a separate hospital fee!