Yvette1026

The pounds go down on the scale...so it's been awhile since I've been on or blogged but just a quick update. I haven't had a fill since December... which was great at first then I got to the point where I was throwing up then ok then throwing up then ok... Not wanting to waste the co-pay and not get a fill I just decided to go it on my own.. Come late April/May I evidently hit my sweet spot because I've lost more weight in the last 3 months than I've lost the entire time I've had my band. I was starting to feel like I was a band failure hovering at the same weightloss since 6 months out of surgery... not really gaining, but not losing either.. or if I gained 10lbs losing it (hormonal) then just balancing out at the same range.. So now I am 1 yr 7 months out since surgery, it's been 8 months since my last fill and about 2.5 to 3 months since I hit my "sweet spot" I no longer HAVE to shop in fat girl stores, I am now able to shop in the skinny girl stores even if it's they're biggest size, it fits... So now my band is just truly giving me portion control...the way it's intended and now I'm losing losing losing.. I've also stopped weighing myself since the 1st...So I have absolutely no idea what I weigh at this point but everyone keeps telling me how I look like I've lost so much weight and I actually see the changes on an almost daily basis. I guess I've just stopped worrying about it and just doing my best to live right and eat clean... always room for improvement and it's a process but it's getting better everyday! Hope you're all doing well.

This is VERY interesting and goes directly against what I think most of us have been taught. I'm a true results patient - they push low carb high protein (60-80 grams per day for women, but no more than 120) and as low of carb as possible. They're always bothered that I still eat bread and tell me to eliminate it completely so yeah.. let me go back to the drawing board and try this, see how it works for me. Thanks for sharing!

Awesome! Congratulations!

Welcome and congratulations on making a great decision for yourself. You're in the excited anticipation phase, but it'll be here before you know. Feel free to add me or send any questions. I was banded 12/18/09 and I'm down 84lbs (I'm purposely doing mine slower) it feels great and it's honestly one of the best things I've ever done for myself! So welcome!

Sure no problem I'll post it on your wall.

You're welcome glad it helped

Good idea Kelly! We can use the accountability... I'm down to do it with you!

Congratulations

Totally realizing that weight loss is more of a mental battle than it is a physical. Going through my closet getting rid of clothes that are too big for me, and instead of having tears of joy, I have tears of something else. I know they're just clothes, and can be easily replaced...I can rationalize but it doesn't change how I'm feeling. *sigh* I'm a bit of a clothes horse and when I buy something, I buy it because I absolutely LOVE it, so watching it go to someone else, or parting with it is hard, but really it's not about them or the clothes. It's more about I feel like layers of me are be peeled away and I'm not sure what we'll find or what will be exposed. It's so weird, I never thought I'd feel this way. I thought I'd be doing the HAPPY DANCE, and there's times I do, but tonight, I don't know.. it's just affecting me different. I think because as many times as I've cleaned out my closet and given away clothes, there's certain items I've hung on to, and kept "just in case" maybe that's it... maybe it's because somewhere deep down I'm feeling like, I can't go back, like before, I've yo-yo'd my whole life. Making jokes out of true stories about how I went on a cruise at a size 18, but packed my "Fat clothes" and came off a 20/22. I think maybe it's because releasing those items on some level means I'm releasing the permission I once gave myself to be fat, that it was OK, that I could go up and down and would figure it out and be fine as long as I stayed under 300lbs or a size 26 or smaller. Going into stores I'm so used to shopping in and realizing I'm toward the end of my days there... maybe I just feel exposed and afraid of the unknown, a size 18 is the smallest I've ever been in adult life. Well since I was about 14 actually.... I don't know anything else beyond this. I see my body changing every day, even if the scale doesn't change, I lose inches, go down in size etc.. A custom t-shirt I had made not too long ago is now a little big, I just realized I may actually HAVE to get another shirt made soon, just these little things, usually they make me happy. But tonight, for some reason they made me sad, like I literally had tears... I was laughing at myself because I couldn't figure out WHY I was feeling this way, but I no matter how hard I tried... I still felt the way I felt. This is a long journey and it's so much more than just a physical one, but at the same time.. to be honest, I haven't really worked out since I've had my surgery.... in this exposed feeling tonight, I think it's evident why... I've been afraid of the unknown, of the life that awaits me below a size 18 of the life where I'm not longer really seen as "fat" or overweight by most people. Where I'm no longer the biggest person in the room. The last time I was here... I creeped my way back up to a 26 in a year and half... their were some extenuating circumstance but still....it happened.. thing is, the whole reason I got this done was so that it would NEVER happen again. So ready or not, here I go...tomorrow (or today) is a new day, I'll take each day, one by one, do something for myself everyday, move everyday, do something EVERYDAY and see what changes come out of it. Who would have known at a year and 3 months out I would be feeling this flood of emotions?!?! Like I always say....this is a journey... I've obviously got mine cut out for me, but I'm more than up to it!

<div><br></div><div>Bren, thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I think you missed my point, being new here and new to the surgery you'll get to know these struggles and my writing styles if you continue to read my blog. I'm glad your tricks are working for you and I wish you all the best in your journey. </div><div><br></div><div>At over a year out, I (and most here) can tell you it's a cyclical process. You start out gung-ho and fight with whatever issue you have, as you mentioned in your case it's willpower, in mine it wasn't, never was. I did my 3 weeks pre-op no problem. But you start out gung-ho, then get comfortable and lax, then get complacent, because you think you "know" and the face is you don't because you body is constantly changing and your band changes with every fill. </div><div><br></div><div>If you were to go back, you'll see some stark differences in my just post-op and my year + posts, but you'll also see some similarities because I said, this entire process is cyclical. </div><div><br></div><div>At any rate, best wishes to you and I wish you success on your journey. </div>

<div><br></div><div>Thank you! <3</div>

<div><br></div><div>Awesome glad it could help....that's what I write these for. But the band, you know it's just a tool and won't/can't really stop you from eating anything...and unlike most people who say they can't eat this or that....yeah I'm not that way...I can eat EVERYTHING... except peanut butter, which SUCKS cause I <3 peanut butter lol. </div>

<br><br>It's all a process my dear, we'll get through it one way or another

LOL I haven't been back to my fat girl moment blog, is there something there that would make me write this? Let me go look! lol but hold up I'm in a mood today, maybe I should wait so I don't come up out my faith lol... But yes my dear, I know.. I've been on the internet since 92 before it was cool lol, I'm aware of how it works and really this isn't to anyone imparticular or because of a certain blog, I was reading several blogs after having a rather interesting conversation with some local people I met who were having or have had the surgery at my dr's office. Just the comments online and in person I'm just like ummmm "really?!?!" I just think alot of people fat, thin or inbetween try to make their issues other people's issues and don't accept responsibilities for their own actions - I'm not going for it. You know how we all think we know SO much before we get it and we have all these opinions and ideals and then we come to find out.. Ohhhh ok well maybe I didn't know EVERYTHING lol... but all of that being said I was just kinda in a mood, I was waiting (FOREVER as usual) at my dr's office and I told 2 of the ladies about this site, I was showing them on my phone and got to reading and blogging out of some irritation. There's multiple facets that play into it, personal messages I get on here, the way people talk to other people, etc... but now i"m curious.. maybe I will go back and look at the other blog lol.