Yvette1026

The pounds go down on the scale...so it's been awhile since I've been on or blogged but just a quick update. I haven't had a fill since December... which was great at first then I got to the point where I was throwing up then ok then throwing up then ok... Not wanting to waste the co-pay and not get a fill I just decided to go it on my own.. Come late April/May I evidently hit my sweet spot because I've lost more weight in the last 3 months than I've lost the entire time I've had my band. I was starting to feel like I was a band failure hovering at the same weightloss since 6 months out of surgery... not really gaining, but not losing either.. or if I gained 10lbs losing it (hormonal) then just balancing out at the same range.. So now I am 1 yr 7 months out since surgery, it's been 8 months since my last fill and about 2.5 to 3 months since I hit my "sweet spot" I no longer HAVE to shop in fat girl stores, I am now able to shop in the skinny girl stores even if it's they're biggest size, it fits... So now my band is just truly giving me portion control...the way it's intended and now I'm losing losing losing.. I've also stopped weighing myself since the 1st...So I have absolutely no idea what I weigh at this point but everyone keeps telling me how I look like I've lost so much weight and I actually see the changes on an almost daily basis. I guess I've just stopped worrying about it and just doing my best to live right and eat clean... always room for improvement and it's a process but it's getting better everyday! Hope you're all doing well.

My best friend is super excited for me now that my surgery date is getting near. She's been with me through the I think I want it.. no wait I don't.. no wait I do's.. I've been through over the last 2 years we've been friends. When I finally decided to do this, she was shocked but super supportive. She began looking into it herself but due to insurance, it's not the right time for her. Last night we were talking and we came up with the idea to do a banded vs. unbanded challenge. She's going to eat the same foods and amounts as me or try to, and we're going to document the differences between the two. I think this will be interesting for the two of us, and for everyone considering the banding. We started today and will do this process for 1 year. Today is a ease into day. I don't technically start my pre-op diet til Monday, but I decided to get used to it by easing my way into. So for example today I had 2 protein shakes, but I also had cucumbers and crackers w/ ranch. The cucumbers not so bad, the crackers and ranch.. .well I think you already know lol. I also had soda which oddly enough I rarely drink, but because I "know" I'm not going to be able to, I suddenly just HAD to have it. lol Other than that it's been a normal day, the 2nd shake was MUCH better. Everything tastes better out of a wine or martini glass lol (that's really funny considering I don't drink lol) But I made a protein shake with a lil' yogurt, skim milk, ice and strawberries and it was almost on the verge of delicious. After the first one though it was like heaven to my mouth lol. In other news.. some people said my previous post was almost "pornographic" but obviously they don't understand that that's the point, I wanted to show how UNHEALTHY my relationship with food is/was. This is what I do... if my writing makes you think, laugh or hiss it's all intentional. Chances are that's the EXACT reaction I was going for. I know my writing style and personality isn't for everyone.. and that's why they invents the X at the top of the screen lol :biggrin: Just kidding, I have :wink2: for everyone!

This is VERY interesting and goes directly against what I think most of us have been taught. I'm a true results patient - they push low carb high protein (60-80 grams per day for women, but no more than 120) and as low of carb as possible. They're always bothered that I still eat bread and tell me to eliminate it completely so yeah.. let me go back to the drawing board and try this, see how it works for me. Thanks for sharing!

Awesome! Congratulations!

Welcome and congratulations on making a great decision for yourself. You're in the excited anticipation phase, but it'll be here before you know. Feel free to add me or send any questions. I was banded 12/18/09 and I'm down 84lbs (I'm purposely doing mine slower) it feels great and it's honestly one of the best things I've ever done for myself! So welcome!

My journey... My weight loss... My weight gain... My progress.... My thoughts... My feelings... My prayers... My beliefs... My faith... Noticing a trend here? My and by my I mean Me. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself. My journey is not yours, nor is yours mine. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm here to encourage and uplift by my blogs, thoughts and comments. Spread love and encourage nothing else. I see/hear some comments and receive some that just leaving me with a blank look on my face and going *blink...blink*, your issues are not mine, feel free to share and comment but be careful to not try to PUSH/DUMP/UNLOAD your issues or feelings on me or anyone else, I wonder when some of you will stop trying to find yourself in others and find yourself within. That's when this REALLY works, when anything YOU really wants to do works. Whether it's weightloss, business, or something else. You have to find it within YOURSELF to do it, just as I have to find it within MYSELF to do it. We should all want those around us to be our very best, and we should encourage them and love on them until they reach it. Just my two cents.

Sure no problem I'll post it on your wall.

Totally realizing that weight loss is more of a mental battle than it is a physical. Going through my closet getting rid of clothes that are too big for me, and instead of having tears of joy, I have tears of something else. I know they're just clothes, and can be easily replaced...I can rationalize but it doesn't change how I'm feeling. *sigh* I'm a bit of a clothes horse and when I buy something, I buy it because I absolutely LOVE it, so watching it go to someone else, or parting with it is hard, but really it's not about them or the clothes. It's more about I feel like layers of me are be peeled away and I'm not sure what we'll find or what will be exposed. It's so weird, I never thought I'd feel this way. I thought I'd be doing the HAPPY DANCE, and there's times I do, but tonight, I don't know.. it's just affecting me different. I think because as many times as I've cleaned out my closet and given away clothes, there's certain items I've hung on to, and kept "just in case" maybe that's it... maybe it's because somewhere deep down I'm feeling like, I can't go back, like before, I've yo-yo'd my whole life. Making jokes out of true stories about how I went on a cruise at a size 18, but packed my "Fat clothes" and came off a 20/22. I think maybe it's because releasing those items on some level means I'm releasing the permission I once gave myself to be fat, that it was OK, that I could go up and down and would figure it out and be fine as long as I stayed under 300lbs or a size 26 or smaller. Going into stores I'm so used to shopping in and realizing I'm toward the end of my days there... maybe I just feel exposed and afraid of the unknown, a size 18 is the smallest I've ever been in adult life. Well since I was about 14 actually.... I don't know anything else beyond this. I see my body changing every day, even if the scale doesn't change, I lose inches, go down in size etc.. A custom t-shirt I had made not too long ago is now a little big, I just realized I may actually HAVE to get another shirt made soon, just these little things, usually they make me happy. But tonight, for some reason they made me sad, like I literally had tears... I was laughing at myself because I couldn't figure out WHY I was feeling this way, but I no matter how hard I tried... I still felt the way I felt. This is a long journey and it's so much more than just a physical one, but at the same time.. to be honest, I haven't really worked out since I've had my surgery.... in this exposed feeling tonight, I think it's evident why... I've been afraid of the unknown, of the life that awaits me below a size 18 of the life where I'm not longer really seen as "fat" or overweight by most people. Where I'm no longer the biggest person in the room. The last time I was here... I creeped my way back up to a 26 in a year and half... their were some extenuating circumstance but still....it happened.. thing is, the whole reason I got this done was so that it would NEVER happen again. So ready or not, here I go...tomorrow (or today) is a new day, I'll take each day, one by one, do something for myself everyday, move everyday, do something EVERYDAY and see what changes come out of it. Who would have known at a year and 3 months out I would be feeling this flood of emotions?!?! Like I always say....this is a journey... I've obviously got mine cut out for me, but I'm more than up to it!

You're welcome glad it helped

Good idea Kelly! We can use the accountability... I'm down to do it with you!

Congratulations

These are the moments where I realize how fat I once was, am and no matter how much weight I lose, will be.. It's because it's not on the outside it's on the inside. It's a mental thing. I sit here writing this... 80lbs....wait make that 83lbs from goal. As someone who can lose 10+lbs in a week.. I really have no excuse to not hit my goal by my birthday in Oct. Even if losing at a slower rate. This week, I hit the lowest number I'd been since I've been on this journey and it felt so good.....I then proceeded to make these "victory meals", cause that's what you do when you have something to celebrate right?!?!? #FatGIrlMoment - There was Ribeye Steak, Pork Sirloin Steak, "Light" Jello Salads ok....not so bad, but then we got to the mashed potatoes.. It's a celebration let's load them up... Garlic mashed potatoes, with triple cheddar cheese, with a touch of cream cheese and butter oh and bacon, and finally green onion for color.... These potatoes were and have been a meal in themselves for me in the past. They're so good they come straight out of my "Get Your Man" recipes/book I'm working on. But that's besides the point, the point to this is.. through the celebratory eating over the last 3 days I have gained 3lbs... Last night having seen the scale move up 2lbs I decided "It's ok I'm gonna work out hard and lose it again" and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want donuts. So off to walmart I go, in the middle of the night for donuts, they didn't have the kind I wanted.. so I settled for my 2nd favorite again justifying it in my head, it's ok... I haven't had them in Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, I think I may have actually caught myself talking to them about how I'd missed them at one point. #FatGirlMoment But here's the kicker.. today when I got on the scale, I actually got on the scale with a donut in my hand and was eating it as I looked down at the scale, half expecting it to move down. No shock and awe here....it was up, I'd offically gained 3lbs in just over 3 days.... Things like this is exactly why it's SO important for us to get the mental aspect about losing weight. Why it's SO important to understand our relationship with food and how it effects us, not only our bodies but our emotions as well. I look forward to my #FatGirlMoments both good and bad as they're always a learning experience for me. And this time I learned a big one.... Everything we pick up is a choice, everything we eat can either move us closer to our goal or further from our goal and that's how we have to look at it. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. It's not easy... but I'm in faith I can and WILL do this!.

<div><br></div><div>Bren, thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I think you missed my point, being new here and new to the surgery you'll get to know these struggles and my writing styles if you continue to read my blog. I'm glad your tricks are working for you and I wish you all the best in your journey. </div><div><br></div><div>At over a year out, I (and most here) can tell you it's a cyclical process. You start out gung-ho and fight with whatever issue you have, as you mentioned in your case it's willpower, in mine it wasn't, never was. I did my 3 weeks pre-op no problem. But you start out gung-ho, then get comfortable and lax, then get complacent, because you think you "know" and the face is you don't because you body is constantly changing and your band changes with every fill. </div><div><br></div><div>If you were to go back, you'll see some stark differences in my just post-op and my year + posts, but you'll also see some similarities because I said, this entire process is cyclical. </div><div><br></div><div>At any rate, best wishes to you and I wish you success on your journey. </div>

<div><br></div><div>Thank you! <3</div>

<div><br></div><div>Awesome glad it could help....that's what I write these for. But the band, you know it's just a tool and won't/can't really stop you from eating anything...and unlike most people who say they can't eat this or that....yeah I'm not that way...I can eat EVERYTHING... except peanut butter, which SUCKS cause I <3 peanut butter lol. </div>

<br><br>It's all a process my dear, we'll get through it one way or another

LOL I haven't been back to my fat girl moment blog, is there something there that would make me write this? Let me go look! lol but hold up I'm in a mood today, maybe I should wait so I don't come up out my faith lol... But yes my dear, I know.. I've been on the internet since 92 before it was cool lol, I'm aware of how it works and really this isn't to anyone imparticular or because of a certain blog, I was reading several blogs after having a rather interesting conversation with some local people I met who were having or have had the surgery at my dr's office. Just the comments online and in person I'm just like ummmm "really?!?!" I just think alot of people fat, thin or inbetween try to make their issues other people's issues and don't accept responsibilities for their own actions - I'm not going for it. You know how we all think we know SO much before we get it and we have all these opinions and ideals and then we come to find out.. Ohhhh ok well maybe I didn't know EVERYTHING lol... but all of that being said I was just kinda in a mood, I was waiting (FOREVER as usual) at my dr's office and I told 2 of the ladies about this site, I was showing them on my phone and got to reading and blogging out of some irritation. There's multiple facets that play into it, personal messages I get on here, the way people talk to other people, etc... but now i"m curious.. maybe I will go back and look at the other blog lol.

Woooooooooooo Hooooooooooooooooooo you look fabulous Diva!!! I'm still going along...scale is down a little but not much but my clothing size is so I'm not sweating the numbers... God is SO good!

There's plenty of potential issues that could happen with anything and there's always a risk any time you have a medical procedure. However, the bottom line is you have to do what's right for you. I can tell you that the majority of issues that occur come from the patient being non-compliant with post surgery instructions. Band slippage usually occurs when someone isn't eating properly or they're throwing up too much, etc... (again all signs that they're not eating properly.) These are things people won't admit to, they'll blame the surgeon, the band, etc... and while there are SOME cases of of malpractice or faulty equipment the majority of it goes back to non-compliance. Flips that's questionable, if again the patient is non-compliant with lifting restrictions, etc.. it's possible they tear or loosen their stitching during the healing time and don't see the result of it until after. Remember that 90% of the people who have the surgery have issues and problems with food and accepting responsibility for their own actions so they'll be quick to blame the band, doctors, anyone but themselves. I am 1 year and just shy of 3 months out and not a SINGLE complication. Not one. If I throw up, I KNOW it's because I ate too fast, didn't chew enough, etc... Sometimes I get stuck because I'm not open, again I know this happens at times and comes with the territory, however they tell us to sip something warm if we haven't eaten yet to open us up. So that's my issue. I researched this for 5 yrs before I did it, feeling surgery would be my absolute last resort. When I became truly informed I realized it was a tool and not a way to do it for me, unlike bypass. All that being said ultimately it's your decision. I've done it both ways, with or without the band, the difference with the band is while I haven't had a HUGE weightloss like some, I haven't gained, which is my main concern. I feel like this is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Ok so I'm not crazy then lol... I use Palmers every day so it's all good.

Just shy of 14 months out, finally in my sweet spot and losing PRAISE THE LORD!!! I'm at the lowest weight I've been since having surgery and shrinking...lt's been 2 months since my last fill - lol had to remember I'm not catholic , this was starting to feel like confession lol.. anyways.. as I lose and my body is shrinking... my skin is so ITCHY, mostly at my incision sites. I use cocoa butter and coconut oil on a daily basis and stay hydrated so it's not dry skin.. it's all weight loss related.. like the skin that's used to being covered is now being exposed to air or something.. but the incision sites, the incision sites are something else completely. Maybe it's because 1 of them has keloided - oh the joy of being mixed lol.. but they are just ugh.. I can't even explain it.. is anyone else experiencing this? There's no rash/infection etc.. it's just ITCHY!

I've had the strangest cravings for potato chips and soda lately. This was never anything I craved pre-surgery and yet here I am just shy of 14 months post op and I am CRAVING them.. I of course, know this isn't something I should be eating.. but recently on a trip to Kona Grill they had taro chips. I'd tried these once before but didn't really remember them but now I'm HOOKED. It's just like a potato chip you can season it and do all kinds of flavors with it but it's great just plain with sea salt... Then last night thinking I was grabbing Taro chips I grabbed Terra chips - Exotic Vegetable Chips... this is a packaged blend of Taro, Yuca, Sweet Potato, Ruby Root, Batata and Parsnip chips...SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good and works on that whole "sweet/salty" thing. But eating this makes me want soda.. diet soda but still soda, which I rarely drank prior to surgery and the few times I've tried it post surgery has been hard... but I've figured out if I pour it over ice and let it sit, it's drinkable and don't hurt to drink... And then... then there's the cake... some of you make have seen my blog about the recipe or the RED CARPET READY 150 calorie cake.. which is SO good, but I wanted real cake, with frosting so I decided to make one myself.. I made a yellow cake from scratch using mayo and applesauce, sounds gross but it was DELICIOUS and I made a cream cheese frosting to put over it... I'd eaten nothing but cake and beef jerky for 3 days and still lost 3lbs... how is this possible?!?!? I mean not that I was wanting to gain weight, obviously not, but with results like that.. it makes it hard to not want to go on a cake diet lol... At any rate, my food choices obviously need to improve, but I think I'm making up for being on that fast or 30 days lol... but I'm still losing so I'm happy!.

Congratulations.. it feels great doesn't it? I know exactly what you're feeling.. I've actually started taking daily pics (ok sometimes just weekly) to document the progress... when you put it in flip book mode you can see me shrink before your eyes lol

Maybe... with YOUR support! I have a friend and client who is a lapband patient. She's lost a ton of weight and looks fabulous. She's currently being considered for the next installment of the Real Housewives franchise: Real Housewives of Las Vegas. She's open about everything in her life and wants to put a positive image of the lapband out to the public as part of her time on the show... And or this we need YOUR support! Check out her Fanpage on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/MarissaZdazinsky Please please please like her page and show your support! The production company is making their final decisions this week and we want to let them and Bravo know.. That WE WANT MARISSA!!!