shonette

Well, for whatever it was worth I was just adding my 2 cents in! However, you are correct about this being a personal journey!

For some bandsters this may sound like the silliest thing you have ever heard, but this is my story. I had a fill about 31/2 weeks ago, and I am finally at 5cc's in my band. I think I am very sensitive to fills because I have experienced 2 overfills in the past. This last time I was very careful to follow the post fill diet and eat small bites and chew very well. Ooooh okay, I could really tell my restriction was there but on a good day I could eat a decent meal. Well around the second week I could only eat maybe 4oz at a time. Don't get me wrong because I can hear someone saying- What's your problem? I really don't have a problem but the fat girl inside of me is unable to eat a third of my small meals. I find myself trying to constantly over eat. Honestly, I have prayed for this day and its here! I thought about asking my Doctor to take just a little out, but that is a crazy thing to do. There are some days, I am only able to eat once per day and mentally I am having a hard time handling that! I have to be so careful about the first couple of food choices I eat because I may not be able to eat anything after that. Lately, my energy level is very low because of my low calorie intake. Yes, I do my vitamins but it's also hard for me to do my protein shakes due to feeling full so quickly. I do know some people will kill to be in my situation and Lord it's an experience like none I have ever gone through! From my last fill until now my fat mass has gone from 106 to 79 is that crazy or what. My whole life my mother have always taught me to be careful for what I ask God for, because he just may give it too me! I am going to have to learn to have more self control and remember why I am doing all of this! Physically, I can eat one okay meal a day and not have a need for food for the rest of the day. However, my mind continues to tell me I need food when there is no actually hungry present. I feel like I am missing something but I know I everything is fine. The FAT girl in me is trying so hard to wreck my success! I have faith and will power to put her in check and keep this train moving.

I read your FAT GIRL MOMENT blog and I do understand why you would write this blog, but venting your feeling to the world opens your situation up to be viewed and judged by others- always! I do love reading your blogs and I think you have done and excellent job.

I think when people on this site or anywhere else write blogs/post they open themselves up to be judged, encouraged, and for others to find a common thread in what you have said! Therefore, I do think it's very important for everyone to be opened to the various remarks that may come your way. When it becomes public knowledge others feel free to say as they wish. <BR><BR>Personally, I enjoy the different remarks or out of the box remarks from others, because it keeps me open to viewing my situation in a different perspective. Just remember- when something is shared it's no longer your own, but it's opened up for everyone to judge!<IMG class=bbc_emoticon alt= src="http://cdn.lapbandtalk.com/public/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif">

I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through, but I do know just how you are feeling. I have been there before and it's not a good place to be with your band. It sounds like you are over filled and being to tight is worst than being too loose. I hope you find the right restrict to get into the green zone.

Good for you.

Girl you look great and you are well on your way to wearing that size 14 jeans.

A week after my surgery, I would chew sugar free gum to give me that chewing pleasure. That was my fix!

I was saying the same thing about my body today. I really hate the way I look without clothes. My husband can't understand why I am always covering up when he comes into the bathroom. I do get many, many compliments throughout my day, but boy things don't look so good when I undress. I was thinking that I really needed to do a lot of toning workouts. I have lost a total of 61 pounds, and I have never lost this much weight before in my entire life, but I would love to have a tight body! Honestly, I can not afford to have any type of surgery to correct my body at this point.