mercilessmarcy

[font='arial black'][size=1]How does it feel to be the only fat child in your family? Lonely, isolated....feeling like you don't belong. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]How does it feel to lose ALL the weight in one summer and be a swan in high school? Like I always thought it would, NORMAL. Happy, active, involved, noticed. Secure. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]How does it feel to have your fairy-tale marriage turn into a nightmare of the alcoholic and work-a-holic spouse? Can't deal with being shut out, shut down, ignored. So I turned to food for comfort, companionship, medicate myself into a stupor. Eventually realizing this is crazy! Divorce equals LOSER! You couldn't find an answer to save your marriage. A year of counseling. Lindora medical weight loss clinic. 70 pounds melt away. That's good. Whew, okay for a while. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]So what makes me continue eating when I'm not even hungry? Why do I feel like an addict? Answers come slowly over the years. My weight climbs ever so slowly, inexorably. I never had the correct balance of Nurturing / Limit Setting. It was all or nothing. Absorption problems, polycystic ovarian syndrome, gluten intolerance, asthma, high blood pressure. I'm so sick of being sick!! I want to move, play, enjoy life, I want to LIVE. I'm home-sick. I miss my Mom, my sister and brother. They live 1700 miles away. I could visit. My shame keeps me away. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]A parade of diets and counseling. Weight Watchers, TOPS, Atkins, you know, been there, tried that. The weight comes off and then returns plus some. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]Why do I think I can succeed this time? I am so afraid of failing-AGAIN. I need help, support. I can't do it alone and I can't have bypass surgery. [/size][/font][font='Arial Black'][size=1]The long and short of it is I'm ready to do whatever it takes over the long haul to lose and maintain my weight. I've kept my weight steady for a year. I know I can do it. I have a loving companion who will support me 100%. My friends want me to stay around, they want to help me. I'll be here, in the forums, reading, watching, longing for the life I'm meant to live. [/size][/font]

[font='Arial Black'][size=1]Ah, answers come at last. I've joined Overeaters Anonymous. I realize that I need to work the steps so I can heal emotionally, spiritually, physically. I am so lazy! I procratinate. What part of me wants to be this way? Oh yeah, the child who wants what she wants when she wants it. Discipline = Love [/size][/font]