chloesmama

so the weight is coming back on. i did good from the time of surgery up until july of 2010 [i had it november 2009] i had lost a total of about 100 lbs. went from 360 to 260. then something changed. my band wasnt working anymore. thought i had a leak, but did an exray test thingy and showed no leak. i got married in october 2010 so my insurance changed and i havent found a new dr, so i havent had a fill since october 2010, which didnt work anyways. im gaining ALL the weight back. im beyond depressed and angry at myself. i know i dont exercise, and i know i dont eat right. my old eating habits came back, since i barely have any restriction. my addiction to food is insane i must say. and my unhealthy ways i used to lose weight are starting to creep up into my head. i cant get back to the weight i was, i cant. i think im at 305 now. i NEED help.

so, i was banded on november 3rd 2009, by march of 2010 i had lost close to 100 lbs. hit my 100 lbs lost in may of that year. i was doing great!!! THEN.....i platued. by july i had stopped losing and had a feeling something was wrong, i didnt speak up to my dr until the middle of august, when i was able to eat like i did pre-op. so i asked him to take out everything i had in to see if i still had the alleged 8.5 ccs [in a 10 cc band] i only had 4.3 ccs. something was wrong. he filled me up to 7.3 ccs and sent me a week later to do an xray. i only had 7 ccs then. they filled me all the way up to 10 ccs, during the xray and no leak was shown. anywhere. so he brought me back down to 7.5 ccs. i was getting married october 10th, so i said leave me at 6.5 ccs.[from july to then i had gained 20 lbs] i havent been back to the dr's since then, for 2 reasons, im now on my husband's insurace, which is an hmo, which my dr doesnt take, and they now charge you $300 for a fill, then you basically pray that your insurance will re-emburse you the money back. i dont have that kind of money to pay every 6 weeks. so now im back up to 290 lbs. [started at 360, got down to 260] i dont know what to do. im calling my dr on monday to tell them what is going on and maybe they can have me come in and check on everything. i am able to over eat, i will admit that i do, and i dont exercise. [besides chasing around my 3 year old] BUT my whole thing is, i got this surgery so that i would have something in me that would litterally FORCE me to stop over eating, and now its not working. if that makes sense. so something has to be done. im considering, finding a private dr and having him remove my band and doing gastric. i WANT this weight off. and yes i could exercise more and eat less, but i couldve done that before the band and i didnt. i lack motivation like no other, this excess weight makes working out hard for me. can anyone relate to me?? i need suggestions here. constructive critisim please!!! im lost and stuck, and thats another thing. i do get stuck sometimes, so i must have some cc's in me, right?? this isnt cool and im regretting chosing this over gastric. i feel like a failure, and its worse, because i was a success in the begining. im so bummed out. help!!

thank you for your reply!!! and ya im totally the same!!! if i cant be agressive enough i know my mom can! lol. but i know i need to do this on my own. im only gonna be 24 this year and i WANT to feel amazing, ya know?? its about damn time. and congrats to getting banded, but sorry youre struggling as well. it sucks huh??