green

@Liz1531, Doddie63 is right. We will be your support group and your bandster family. Getting banded is not taking the easy way out; it is taking advantage of a modern medical technique and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Obesity is a medical problem, and not simply an issue of laziness or moral weakness. There are many people, most of them of normal weight, who still don't understand this. Yo-yo dieting is much more destructive for both your body and your feelings of self-worth. Having the band installed is a simple day surgery for most of us. The long term effects of obesity can lead to high blood pressure, the need for knee replacements, diabetes, high cholesterol, depression..... Try to ignore your family's negativity and focus on other things. I know that this will be difficult but we are here for you.

Raising the head of the bed seems like a good suggestion to me. I've just mentioned this to my husband, a long time reflux sufferer, but he's afraid that he won't get enough oxygen to his brain while he is sleeping and that his heart won't gets its rest! How much higher should the head be?

Male cats won't spray if you neuter them while they are still young. Six months is a good age to rob them of their nuts.

Monk, I agree with the folks who have posted above. You have taken a terrible personal experience and used it in order to help others. This is taking lemons and making lemonade in a big time way. :whoo:

I sure have a hard time with beggars and with begging. My parents came from Europe and survived the Second World War. My mother came from minor Scottish aristocracy and this was a culture where any discussion of money was considered to be dreadfully vulgar. My father was a Polish Jew who ran away from Poland in 1937 and made his way through pre-war Europe on his wits. He was lucky in that he eventually washed up in England. He was luckier still that he eventually hooked up with my mother. They chose to come to Canada because they were aware that their marriage would not stand a chance in class and race conscious Britain. Their life in Toronto was fairly difficult but they ended up doing well in their new home. We children were raised in an environment where we were expected to make our own way. What our parents contributed to us was unlimited access to education, something which they viewed as a tool. We were never given cars, designer clothes, or anthing of that nature. And we were shot down whenever we asked for this stuff. In many ways this was terribly humiliating for us as children for we saw our peers living much better than we did. At the same time, all three of us sibs grew up to live financially solid lives. None of us had debt load, all of us owned property, and we all had additional investments, ones which could carry us through a rainy day. Still, I carry emotional wounds from being forced to live poor when my family was living in an upper middle class milieu. I still hurt from being forced to wear geeky loser clothes when all the other girls were wearing cute trendy gear. When it comes to those who are asking for tips or who begging for money in such a crass and irritating fashion, I find myself thrust into an array of complicated emotions. There is a part of me that says that it is vulgar to ask for money and that if you want money you should work for it. This is what I have been taught by my European parents. There is another part of me that says that these are hard-working individuals who are working in low paying service jobs and that these people are as desireous of and are in as much need of money as any corporate lawyer or plastic surgeon. They simply can't raise it as easily or as gracefully and so they must resort to tacky reminders that their services are also not without value.

I am going to speak to my doc about Chantix, grrls. I am still a smoker even though I am taking Wellbutrin and I would like to quit but I am deeply addicted. I hope this drug is available up here in Canada.

Thanks for the advice, Gailannr.

Lee4, I must tell you that I always enjoy reading your posts. I love the honesty, thought and the love that you put into them and into your life as I understand it from reading your comments. I will tell you that I grew up in the era of feminism, an era where we women needed to claim equal rights and standing, and so we were anxious to let ourselves and the rest of the world know that we can stand on our own feet and do not need to depend upon men. I have since noticed that children who grow up in families lacking responsible, stable, and loving adult males - fathers or fatherly-type adults (uncles, grandfathers, etc) - seem to miss them and to suffer on some deep level, both boys and girls. Sometimes it seems to me that if children are to be left with only one parent to raise them they may be better off with their fathers for they will find a series of good and nurturing women as role models in their schools, in the mothers of their friends, etc. My great niece is being raised alone by her mother and her contacts with loving and fatherly men are few. This little kid is always on the hunt for fathering. Fortunately my brother is anxious to take a hands-on role with his grand-daughter but he lives in Virginia and the child lives in Canada. I have also noted the same thing with my husband's 2 nieces. Their mother and father have been engaged in an ugly on-going divorce which has been going on for years. The kids live in France but spend their summers here in Canada. They adore my husband and he adores them. They have told him many times over the years that they consider him to be their real father and he is a kind, loving, and hands-on dad with them. These kids are still really young; the elder one is only 11 and the younger one is now 8. My husband has been their summertime father for at least 5 years. Little girls need to be around good men. This is how they will learn to avoid the bad ones when they grow up. Little boys need to be around good men. This is how they learn to become good men when they grow up. I confess that I am inclined to grow angry when I hear of women and men making babies carelessly. It is always the children who suffer and I don't believe that any woman who really loves her children can be so careless about the way she chooses to introduce them into this world. Afterall, folks can have sex without getting pregnant, eh. I am very happy to hear that you are the one who is raising your boys. It is very cool that your boys have a daddy. It is very cool that you are teaching them to enjoy school and that they are learning about nutrition. Knowledge is always power. That they have Sickle Cell Anemia is terribly sad news. This is hard on the boys and on you. You are right: it takes two parents for this illness to be passed on and it is not your fault. It is a question of genetics is all. I guess you are aware that this genetic aberation originated in connection with malaria. I guess you may know that eastern European Jews also have a terrible genetic disease which is passed on in the same horrible fashion as Sickle Cell Anemia. The disease is called Tay-Sachs, and any baby born with this will die, a horrible experience for its parents to watch. For a baby to have Tay-Sachs it must receive the defective gene from both parents.

Ah, I have had a set back.... Let me explain. I guess that I am now kinda at or around goal. When I was first banded the surgeon's Tanita hi-tech scales, body fat and BMI machine print-out said that my goal was to weigh 155 lbs. At my last weigh-in I weighed 154lbs. My BMI was 24.9. Now the office tells me that I could lose another 10 lbs if I wanted to. I received these results and this advice when I went in for my latest fill 5 or 6 weeks ago. But since my latest fill I have been suffering from a bad case of acid reflux and my throat and upper esophagus have come to feel like they have been painted with acid. It took me a long time to figure this out. You see, for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have had a sore throat and I was thinking that I was either fighting off a cold or had cancer. I even mentioned it to my doc who attempted to have a look. She wasn't all that successful. I have a terrific gag reflex, dammit! Then I began to develop an annoying little cough. I finally woke up to the fact that my throat hurt worse when I was lying down in bed and then I remembered Carlene's post about her problems with band related acid reflux. As it happens my husband has acid reflux and when it is out of control he has the same annoying little cough. I also took note that my sore throat was worse on the side which I routinely sleep on. In fact this was the Eureka! factor. And so I finally phoned up yesterday afternoon in order to arrange a defill and I explained that I have a painful case of acid reflux. The fill nurse said that a defill is definitely indicated. This is my story and I am posting it here because I figure that it may be of interest to the rest of the gang. I also researched acid reflux. It seems that all my favourite foods and drinks are verboten and that it will help the sufferer if she sleeps with her stomach lower than her esophagus - less chance of backwash, you see. So now I have co-opted most of the pillows on our bed in order that I might sleep in a semi-sitting up position. I also take my nighttime array of meds hours before crawling into bed. The above story is all about the bad and the ugly. And now I will tell you about the good. My husband and I went out for lunch yesterday to an Italian restaurant which we like. As it happens we haven't been there for awhile and the owner also happened to be on site. While my husband was paying the bill she approached him and said, "your wife has lost a lot of weight." She was clearly interested in how I had lost the weight and at one point asked if I had been ill. He kept quiet about the band but she did tell him that she thought that I looked fabulous. This was a nice compliment coming from a woman who is both elegant and rather icy in her personal manner.

Oops! Crossed posts, eh. Lee4, why is it that some women go around carelessly having children by a lot of different men who don't even care about these kids? Kids who don't have fathers in their lives are missing out on something very important. And kids who live in single parent families are more likely to live in poverty and suffer stress.

Eddie, it strikes me that you have lost quite a lot of weight - 24 lbs in 2 months is nothing to be sneezed at, you know. It also seems to me that you will continue to lose weight. The fact that your mate is losing weight much more rapidly than you may be blinding you from seeing the positive aspects of your own weight loss. You have mentioned that your clothes are getting really baggy and people who know you are commenting on your weight loss. This means that you are losing inches as well as having lost those 24 lbs and all of this is really great. I have also heard that sometimes those inches start melting away just while the scale seems to be stuck. Our bodies really are very weird!!! Some people lose weight more quickly than others. This depends on body type. It seems that you and your mate have different body types and because you both have undergone the same surgery and have engaged on the same mission this difference is hurtful to you. I know that I would be having the same feelings right now if I wearing your shoes but do try to focus on how far you yourself have come. You might wish to remind yourself that a slower weight loss is generally considered to be less stressful on the body, the skin, the metabolism, and the internal organs, and thus more healthy. It is also said that folks who lose weight more slowly are less likely to regain. Try to remain your happy, charming, loving self and remember that Sean and the kids love you and you love them. By the way, we miss your voice in Rants and Raves, eh..... :kiss2:

Now that is way over the top! Nevertheless I have come around to tossing my spare change into those jars when I am buying food and drink in cafteria-style coffee shops. This is because I suspect that those kids make mini-money and I do find that they usually do give me cheerful and thoughtful service. You see I am one of those who likes an atypical iced coffee; I want it cold but I don't want it sweet and so this means discussion and a certain amount of emphasis on my part because they tend to assume that everyone loves a sweet drink. In fact most of those iced coffees are pre-made sweet and this means that they have to build me one from scratch. Then too, I usually eat my little cake and drink my coffee on site and that means one of them will have to collect the plate and clean the table after I have left. A friend of mine always leaves a tip in the tip jar at her local coffee shop and this has paid off big for her. As soon as the staff see her coming they get her coffee ready for her and hand it to her even though she isn't in line. She pays, tips, and leaves. This means she doesn't waste her coffee break by standing in a line-up waiting for her turn.

My experience of medicine is very different. A few years ago I had to see my family doc every 2 weeks for a period of some months. I would make an appointment, see her, and then would sometimes be sent to the on-site lab for blood tests. No money changed hands. I have been sent by her to various specialists for various tests for various reasons over the recent years and now I see a psychiatrist because I am a depressive. No money ever changes hands for any of these services. I have had bone scans, X-rays, colonoscopies, mamograms, and ultrasounds, and no money changes hands. I had a bunion removed 5 years ago and that was free to me. The document which permits me access to all of this is my Ontario Health Plan Card, a card which looks much like a credit card. Now it is true that if I were to turn up in the emergency intake at any hospital I might have to wait awhile depending on the nature and the severity of my problem. They practice the triage system in these joints and attend to the critical patients first. I was sent to Emergency twice by my company, once for having run my thumb into a bandsaw blade and once for giving myself second-degree burns on my right hand. :help: I had to wait a little; they prefer to deal with heart attacks and strokes first, eh. Luckily there were no gunshot victims in either time.

Wow! :omg: What a loving remark! Not!!

Our vet, a guy who was once given the best vet in Toronto award by Toronto Life magazine, told us that male cats and female dogs tend to make superior pets. Bitches are generally less aggressive and are more tender towards their host families. If we were to have a dog we would definitely want a female. Neutering costs less than spaying but that is a one-time only expense. And it is true that we have had generally better fun with our male cats than with the girls. At the present we are down to one prima donna household terrorist. She's not picky about her food, however.

I think Lee4 is wondering why these women have a raft of kids, each by a different and absent father. Talking to women who have children so carelessly makes him want to run away from them. He has kids but they are by the same woman. They are in his custody because she wasn't interested in them. At least this is how I understand the content of Lee4's post. You can correct me if I am wrong, Lee4.

Yah, I must admit that it drives me bluddy nuts, too. I am a member of a website where people regularly get banned by the editor of the site for using language in a, ahem, non-conformist fashion. Foul language is permitted but not lack of capitalisation or over-capitalisation, missing punctuation, etc. And the other members are allowed to savage the individual as well. That site makes Rant&Raves look like a most gentle and civilized zone, one suitable for sensitive children to play in.

Nope, but sometimes it is called "the runs." :heh: I guess this covers the more severe cases, eh. :help: LOL

Mrspruett, you bring up a very good point in your latest post. The attitude which the new arrival takes towards the host country will determine his or her success. To tell you the truth, this has become a unmentionable topic up here in Canada, a country which prides itself upon being both a country of immigrants and a country that is careful of the rights of all its inhabitants. Our attention to the rights of our minorities has been a fine thing indeed but it has also created an environment that is so politically correct that it sometimes shuts down discussion. The distressing truth is that certain ethnic/cultural/national groups do manage better than others when it comes to integrating and mastering the environment of the host society. It would be easy to say that problems arise when one is a member of a visible minority but the truth is that in my multicultural city our Chinese, Korean and South Asian communities seem to be able to acclimatize. Their children go on to university and are successful in developing careers. Other visible minority groups remain ghettoized and watch their sons drift into gangland activities and their daughters become babymothers. This question of which cultural/national or whatever groups are most likely to not only survive but do well does not only concern visible minorities. One of our invisible (white) minority groups is known, I have been told, amongst inner city teachers to have especially grave difficulties in mastering the rules of their new home. Of course when I refer to these rules I mean, rightly or wrongly, all that middle-class stuff: getting a good education, getting and keeping a job, not breaking the law, settling down and choosing to have children in a thoughtful and careful manner, remaining clean and sober and paying your bills on time, not beating up on your mate, your kids or the next door neighbour just because you are in a bad mood, not living on welfare and playing your stereo at 4 AM, not keeping your dog chained up and barking 24/7 in your backyard.... The disturbing truth is that some cultures do fare better than others. Up here in Canada we are uncomfortable about entering into these discussions for we are afraid that such discussions may open the door to bigotry, and this is a valid fear. At the same time this blocks us from examining why some folks do better than others.

Fee to pee! Love the expression, eh. Thanks for posting this. Yup, there is a fee to pee in many countries. :phanvan My husband and I went on a tour in Turkey a couple of years ago and sometimes you had to pay and occasionally you didn't. Of course when you did this meant small change and this often resulted in polling your friends for coins. One of our friends, a Kiwi with a great sense of humour, liked to hand out coins while saying "have a pee on me." Toilet rules when you are away from home in a foreign country are probably the most stressful part of travelling. This is because we are all so embarassed about talking about that stuff in the first place and then there is the additional problems of language and culture to contend with. I have been lucky enough to have had quite a bit of experience with foreign travel but the toilet biz always promises to be humiliating, possibly nauseating, and definitely weird. And then your guts never co-operate either; it is either constipation or da trots. :help: Waaah!

I had steri-strips on the surface and something dissolvable in the interior.

My lapband surgeon's office uses Tanitas but these are very hi-tech and look like they cost very big bucks. They are hooked up to computers and give printed read-outs of all sorts of data, including the BMI and BF. I hop on one of these machines whenever I go in for a fill.

As for the other question, once you are banded and you have good restriction you will simply be unable to eat as much as before and you will have to take smaller bites and chew, chew, chew. If you attempt to guzzle down large amounts of food you will suffer from pain and then you will cough the food up. Most of us refer to the pain as a golfball for it does feel like you have swallowed a golfball. And as for the puking up, it is kind of like a cat coughing up a furball, we call it a productive burp or PB. Unfortunately certain head hunger foods go down real easy and that is known as eating around the band. This is an unwise move because this does interfere with the weight loss and leaves the bandster feeling guilty and bummed out. :think We all do it from time to time though and is because we are human. :phanvan

I think that when you are truly hungry you will want to eat almost anything - you will want real food - but when you are suffering from head hunger then you are specifically hungry for a treat. This may be a sweet or a salty carb depending on your personal weakness.

Ouch! :eek::eek: LOL