green

It is certainly true that educated girls, girls who are more likely to feel that they are in control of own destinies are much more likely to take care of the business of birth control. They may well want to be wives and mothers, most women do, but they are aware that the world offers them more than only that. They are also aware that they can direct their own timetable as to when they will settle down, have a family. I believe that all young people must be educated on the facts of human sexuality. Indeed, they must be educated repeatedly for this is a vast and complex topic and birth control is only one - admittedly a very important one - aspect of this. This Puritanical approach to sexuality, this notion that if we teach that abstinence until marriage is what God intends for us, and that by avoiding teaching birth control techniques we are avoiding aiding and abetting sinful behaviour is obviously not going to work. Teenagers are, physically speaking, primed to mate and in other times and other cultures they were married off when they were much younger than is the custom today. Those young couples did, however, live under the extended family roof and this is where they continued on with learning the necessary skills needed in order to survive and prosper. I guess that one of my points is this: you cannot always fight human nature. Sometimes even the nicest church-fed kids will fool around. All individuals should learn about the facts of human sexuality and everyone should both know about and have access to birth control technology. This would certainly cut down on the number of unwanted pregnancies. But there are other issues at play, I believe. There are a lot of what I will call "careless" pregnancies which take place among women who have come from the kind of limited and joyless backgrounds which leave these women feeling trapped within their own lives, fighting with a chronic low-grade depression, and filled with a sense of futility and self-disgust. These are individuals who are careless with themselves as a result. I find myself, as always, believing that education is likely the single best solution to so many of our dysfunctional woes. Educated people tend to be less likely to perform violent crimes and educated women are much less likely to be careless about managing their sex lives and this biz of birth control. I really do believe that education plays a big part in the health of any country in oh so many ways, including a reduction in the dependency on abortion. This being said, I will remind you all that I had always been quite focused on my desire to never, ever have a child and thus I had always made a point of taking care of my birth control business. Imagine my distress and, quite frankly, brute animal terror when I discovered myself pregnant while I was living in France in my early 30s. I felt like a wolf caught in a leg-hold trap and, yes, I believe that I would have risked a backstreet abortionist. Birth control does not always work, and where would I have been had I been without access to a safe and legal abortion? Nevertheless, our current birth control techniques work well. We must also recognise that although we can choose to inculcate our children with certain notions of "good" sexual behaviour not all of them are going to be able to conform to what we have chosen to impose on them. This means that we have a choice: blindly insist upon chastity or simply suggest that abstinence is a better idea and at the same time give them all the requisite tools to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. And as for women and for all young people, I do believe that one of the tricks is exposing them to education. Once people realise that the world is oh so much infinitely larger than pregnancy and brats/or collecting a bitch-load of baby-mommas while still in high school there will be many less unwanted pregnancies, many less abortions, and, arguably, many fewer individuals engaging in the business of babies=enriched welfare cheques.

I post a lot because I am retired and I can't eat and post at the same time. Posting is very slimming.

So this has been a very cool thing for us who have be talking to each other. That makes me very happy. The truth is that all of us who are able to to vent and to discuss with each other our concerns and our pains are very lucky folks, I think. It is those cats who find themselves trapped within the framework of those old issues and poisons and who find themselves unable themelves to let go and move on who are at the greatest risk. Certainly these are the unhappiest folk in the world.

Both Chelle and Denise are vets in my view. Post on grrls! Indeed all folks should feel free to post as far as I am concerned. Da more da merrier, eh.

This is a good question. :mad: Do you qualify as a vet according to the length of your membership on LBT, or the date when you were banded, or according to the number of posts which you have made on this site? :scared: Let's hear some input. eh! :ranger:

I believe that Wasa is having her TT surgery around now. If this is the case she will be in one of two states: in bad pain or drifting in a narcotic haze. I hope and trust that she is spending most of her time in the latter state.

BJean, I having been missing you!

This is a sad tale. Obviously this is a chick who has been unable to move on. Your chances of making a friend out of this woman are absolutely zero. It is, however, sad that the kids cannot see beyond this and opt to be on good terms with all of you. Perhaps one day they will be able to understand that they can remain loyal to their damaged mum and also come to cherish their father and you, his mate. This would be a very fine thing, I think. Thanks for the kind wishes.

This cynical atheist agrees with you, sweethot. I do believe that we prosper on a deep emotional level by performing acts of kindness towards others. I am one of those people who holds doors open for people who are elderly or who are lumbered down with small kids and strollers and I always let someone who only has one or two items go ahead of me in a check-out line. And I encourage people to talk about themselves and their concerns and interests. The truth is that this makes my life life more interesting and much more fun. It is certainly infinitely less painful for me, a natural cynic and a depressive, to live in this fashion. If I were to choose to harbour bitterness my life would be very difficult indeed. And there is that saying, you know the one, living well is the best revenge, and this is true, I think. The best way to get over an injury is to move on with your own life. This is often difficult to do. I myself have been damaged by a number of individuals whom I loved but it is worth making the attempt. Making a deliberate point of performing acts of kindness towards others is a splendid way of choosing to remove yourself from your own self and your inner bitterness and pain.

That was the tone I was aiming for. Haha.

I have always had issues with alcohol. This is because I have always had serious problems with depression, an issue which is genetically-linked and which is an issue in our family. Individuals who suffer from psychological problems, even those which are based in a neurological and genetically transferred disorder, will inevitably be prone to drift into the land of self-medication. This means that we will be suckers for drug, alcohol and food abuse. You must understand that alcohol, drugs, and stuffing yerself with food will cause your brain chemistry to unleash - on a short term basis of course - a flood of chemicals which will permit you, the miserable depressive, to feel a fugitive sense of happiness. It is when we must undergo the work of untying ourselves from this complex of buffers that we run into real difficulties. And, yes, I suspect that we are all wearing the same miserable t-shirt, doncha think?

Omigawd! I think I might have shorted out my keyboard by spraying a mouthful a scotch while laughing, eh. Bluddy brilliant, eh, sez this moonatick. :faint:Green of da North is not worthy. :eek:

Yah, but I was kinda hoping you would be sitting on my knee while we were talking about this, eh, ya know.......... :kiss2:

Sweethot, where do you arrive at this notion that the abortion rate is close to zero for married women? And why do you assume that abortion is casually and carelessly used as a form of birth control? Please provide statistics. It is my understanding that abortion has always been used as a solution from those days when it was illegal by families who were poor and who found that their finances were stretched to the breaking point. The discovery that there was going to be yet another baby posed an appalling problem for these families. You certainly have made a wise observation when you note that Oprah's insistance that all girls and women must be educated is correct. It is crucial that all of us must be allowed to be educated, to have access to all the tools and skills available for this knowledge is our birthrite. It is true that educated women (and men) are much less likely to react in a purely emotional fashion and will be much more thoughtful and more communally oriented in their behaviour. Well-educated people will inevitably be more alert and more sensitive to their social environment. This is because they will have both the tools which they need in order to decode this and they will also feel much more feel much more confident about themselves because they do have a sense of understanding the mechanics of our environment. In short, these are not the kind of cats who are going to end up mugging you, eh. And it is certain that smart girls will make a point of finding themselves fully informed about birth control techniques. This is a good thing. Teaching sexual abstinence without providing the back-up info of birth control has, frankly speaking, proven itself to be something in the way of an idiotic move. It seems that it is the Bible Belt folk who have supported this abstinence approach when it comes to dealing with teenage sexuality and it seems that it is these same folk who have been dealing with this problem of juvenile pregnancies and a raft of bluddy infants. It is at this point that Green, an atheist, will point out that kids were in those fun-filled Biblical days married and reproducing while they were still in their early to mid-teens. I trust you are now getting what I am drifting towards, eh. For those of you who are Bible worshippers and yet who wish your kids to follow a modernist sexual time table, well, you can teach 'em about abstinence but ya better fill 'em in on the practicalities on birth control techniques in case your very nice kids happen to slip. And people will sometimes slip. This is the nature of the human beast. Life sure is complicated. I am very touched, sweethot, by your willingness to further engage in this issue. I think that this is very cool. And I continue to enjoy my discussions with Gadget, a woman who graciously accepts that I am her exact polar opposite, and yet is cool with it. This discussion, one which could so easily lead to toxic attacks on a personal level, has always remained free of this. This is pretty cool, don't you think?

Jack, baby, I didn't know that you had an ex-wife. Now, I want you to sit on Green's knee and tell her all about it. :kiss2:

Now that is a very stressful way to live. It has always been much easier for me to close the door on relationships with exes, etc which really won't work because I have no children and all of the men - with the exception of the French guy - with whom I have been involved haven't had kids, either. In my case I have simply wanted to get to know and become friends with the individuals who were or are the romantic attachments of people who either were or are my romantic attachments. This statement sounds clumsy and I will try to explain. When I broke up with my ex-husband and with everyone of my ex-boyfriends there was a poisonous period where we hated each other. After this was over we found that we renewed contact. They became involved romantically with new women and I would meet these women in my role as ex-girlfriend. I also noticed that whenever I became involved with someone he, too, would have a romantic history and I would eventually meet these women. It seemed to me that one has two choices: jealousy or an open-hearted curiosity. I maintain that choosing the second option first is the wisest and more interesting choice. And certainly whomever I became involved with would inevitably meet those guys who were my former romantic history because I have continued to remain in touch with a lot of my former significant others. This is a door which swings both ways, eh. Now, for most people this biz becomes a lot more complicated because most folk have kids. This means that y'all are kinda stuck dealing with an array of exes, even those who are the exes from Hell! People who do share kids do find themselves held hostage to the kind of scenario which you describe, 2beme. I do, though, have a question for you. You don't go into any of the details of situation in your post other than to say that it is complicated by a trio of wives! And that it is ugly. My question is this: have you ever been able to talk with these women on your own? The reason I ask this is that very often men have, and this can be at a subconscious level, a vested interested in keeping their women - past and present - away from each other. Many men are more comfortable when their women are at war with each other. A friendship between these women, seen by him as an unholy alliance, would threaten a lot of men. After all, we know where the bodies are buried, eh.

You are so right! It really is so much easier being the fabulous ex-girlfriend than having to deal with your mate's ex-women. I admit that I have had some trouble with my husband's exes even though I was prepared to make friends with them. :phanvan Either I am quite an irritating person or they were jealous or it was some kind of combo of these factors. :eek: With past boyfriends I got into a couple of funny situations. When I was living with the French guy in France his ex-wife decided that she wanted us all to live together, her, him, me, and his kids. His kids, all boys, were nice kids and were fond of me but they were having some difficulties with dealing with the split-up and so they also thought that this was a brilliant solution. I myself didn't think that this suggestion was quite as nuts as it may have seemed. She wasn't all that fond of her ex-husband and she hated sex and thus she was not jealous of me. She did, however, want a man in the house. For my part I was concerned that she would treat me as the foreign maid: she was awful lazy and she did come from a lah di dah background. And I am a freak about my privacy. It would have had to have been an awful damn big house....! The French guy was horrified by the idea. A good thing. And while I was deeply involved with another man I became good friends with his ex-wife for some period of time. We were planning on travelling together throughout Europe, and in fact I even got her a temporary job where I was working. She blew the job and had to be fired which was embarassing for me. She also became quite hostile towards me during this same period. The friendship blew up in my face and left me in a tough spot with respect to my work cred and also in connection to my travel plans but I did give it a shot. And I ended up going to Europe solo and this is how I met the French guy. The first ex-wife whom you describe in your post does sound like a mean cow and that's a real drag. It was a drag for you but you have now left the premises as it were; she is still stuck living with her own toxic and insecure nature. And no, I am not all that nice. I like to like people but once I get disrespected it becomes ugly time. Then I become Mean Green and the gloves are off.

Aw, y'all are going to spoil me with your kind words.... Thanks, eh.

Hah! Me, too. I need a giant purse and sometimes I find I even have to carry a supplementary bag - kind of like an annex - to carry all my poop. I would have a lot more bags but it takes me so long to shift all my junk from one bag into another because I have to reorganise it, ya know. :help: I have only just moved over from my fall purse into my winter purse today! :faint: As for finding a new bag at a good price, this is the time to go looking! There will be lots of sales.

Yah, I miss her and Wasa, too. And I received a splendid card from Laurend also.

Get my cat, Horrible Orange, declawed before she destroys the house.

Well, only metaphorically.... :heh: In terms of the actual arrangement of the real goods, well, that is my husband's bizness!

My cats have always considered me to be their property. :faint:

Yup, TommyO is cool. He is anutha Canuck, eh. Just like da mean Green.

I mean you no deep disrespect, Cavechick, but I will suggest that you get a grip. Your argument as presented in this post is devoid of logic. Here are the salient points: America is the single most affluent country in the world at this time. America has a population of something like 300 million and it is buffered by two oceans, the Atlantic on the east and the Pacific on the west. America is an affluent country and possesses high-tech weaponry. Its two neighbouring countries, Canada and Mexico, have no interest in favouring Islamic invasion. Now, balance all of this power and an extremely favourable geographical situation out against a disorganized, untrained, low-tech, hysterical, third world rabble half a world away. Put your thinking cap on and then think some more about this issue, eh. Now, do you really think that a bunch of these cats will be able to successfully invade North America, overrun us and have us, quelle horreur, looking towards Medina when we pray. I do not want to down play the truly dreadful activities which we in the west have been experiencing from dar al Islam. I am a westerner, I am a woman, and my father's side of the family is Jewish: none of this is going to guarantee that I am going to have a whole bunch of friends in the house of Islam. Nevertheless, I find myself becoming awfully irritated whenever I find myself reading the kind of illogical and hate-filled crap posted in the above quote. I don't support Islam or anything else for that matter but I sure get mighty p!$$ed by displays of stupidity.