green

Why don't you suggest to the guy that he and his grrlfriend and you and Matt go on a double date?

Yep, I don't think any woman should be forced to sit in the penalty box for 9 months because she had sex, something which we are genetically hardwired to do.

This guy looks cute.

I do have one niece who is a single mum. She is in her early 30s and has just starting her career as a teacher. We get along really well.

Woo Hoo, bring those boys on, sez Green.

Interesting point, Sweethot. But you must understand that I chose to claim the same rights to my body that any man has to his - that is to say the right to be able to enjoy sex without hindrance. Why should I settle for fewer rights simply because I am a woman? According to your logic I should be wearing a hijab and a niqab for I have no right to be sexually active. Indeed, all women who are not prepared to bear children should be wearing burqas, eh? We can only put on our Hooter's gear once we want to get preggers, is that it? You must also understand that my operating set of ethics is quite different from either yours or ash colvin's. I am not a Christian. Many people are not. I do not believe that the rights of the foetus trump mine until it is able to live independently outside of the maternal support system. I also do not feel that I must pay a penalty simply because I happen to be a woman. I certainly had no sentimental attachment to what was simply another acorn in this great big forest of oak trees. I don't like babies and I was horrified by the very idea of being pregnant; this is why I was very careful about using birth control.

I am sure that there are many people out there who treat their animals better than their children or, for that matter, any family member. I suspect that this is because of the peculiarly toxic nature of those family relationships to which so many adults have themselves been exposed as children. Research has shown that children who have been subjected to abuse will, as adults, be much more likely to seek out dysfunctional relationships, ones where they are either the abusers or the abused. These patterns will repeat. Of course by now we all know this. What I found interesting was reading about the results of a study made on the issue of elder abuse. Elder abuse has been a largely hidden but not insignificant problem. Here follows the usual methods of elder abuse: a middle-aged child who is placed in charge of his/her frail parent becomes actively physically and psychologically abusive; the middle-aged child or children opt to warehouse and emotionally abandon their parents in nursing homes. In many cases these children will also systematically strip their parents of their wealth as part of the pattern of abuse. Why I found the results of this study so interesting was that it indicated that those middle-aged children who treated their frail parents with brutality or those who acted in a less actively malign fashion - those who simply warehoused the old folks and then abandoned 'em - was that these were children who had either been actively abused by their parents when they were kids or were carelessly ignored by them. In brief, these bad children are giving back to their now weak parents what their parents have already given to them as children. It seems that the toxic effects of abuse do flow in two directions. It strikes me that parents might want to think long and hard about how they raise their children. You might end up reaping what you have sown. This is why it is so much easier for many folks to treat their animals better than they treat their own families. The relationship which exists between a human and a companion animal is free of all the psychological detritus which clots up and badly damages everything which should flow easily and generously between each other. And animals don't dish out the guilt in quite the same way, eh.......

Derick, this is a bummer. Why is your sister persisting with this ill-advised plan? Can you not explain to her that your tastes are quite particular, as are most people's, and that you need to have intellectual interests in common, a shared sense of humour, etc in order for a relationship, even a friendship, to have lift-off. Having weight issues in common is simply not enough. Gawd! I remember my art teacher was always trying to set me up with men who looked an awful lot like me, and I am totally not my own type. If I wanted to look at a big blue-eyed blondie, I could stare at myself in a mirror! Ugh! Where you will need common ground is on the intellectual plane. You are muy smart, very funny, and kinda twisted - a winning combination in my opinion. You need to be around similarly intelligent and creative people, people who need to goof outside the box. My suggestions are as follows: tell your sister exactly why you are not into her friend, and then follow this explanation up by indicating that should your sister persist with this matchmaking bizness the only result will be that this poor girl will end up feeling horribly hurt by your continuing rejection of her; if you have some sense of easiness with this girl, talk to her directly about your sister's machinations, explain to her that romance ain't going to happen because you feel that the pair of you don't click intellectually, and that you are awful sorry that your sister keeps on persisting with her ill-advised match-making project. If you do end up having the it's-not-gonna-happen talk with this girl, do it in a relaxed and friendly manner. Get her on your side; encourage her see your pushy and insensitive sister as the enemy. You might even want to talk to this girl about the lapband.

If I were you, Cure, I would make an appointment to see Dr. Yau at the TLBC in order to discuss everything with him. He will have suggestions as to how to go about getting your fills, how much fill you should receive per visit, etc. He will know the capabilities of your band as contrasted with the newer models and so will be able to give you good advice. On a personal level, he will likely also be interested to see you again seeing that you were one of his first! And, by the way, the fill nurse at TLBC is fabulous. She is in and out of your port with that needle before you have had a chance to notice. She has also got a great personality.

That is deeply disgusting! I am glad that I have never given my cash to this group.

Do your docs think that you should be eating more in order to facilitate your recovery? If not, then keep your fill where it is.

Oooh, that is such crap! I really hate this moralising mind-set which so many normoloids display. Why repeatedly struggle and fail to lose weight by continually attempting to use those old-fashioned methods when we have the option of the lapband? Indeed the percentage of overweight folk who manage to lose weight and keep it off by using these methods is sadly very tiny. This is why obesity is a problem for oh so many of us. Those methods simply do not work!

Yah, I use the f-word a lot, too.

Yah, I am crazy fer cats, too.

With respect to my research on pagan religions, and by pagan I assume that your operating definition of paganism encompasses all of those religions which a) fall outside the Judeo-Christian-Islamic tradition and :smile: are likely to be polytheistic; well then, this certainly does take in a helluva lot of religions past and present. Therefore when you are speaking about pagan practices you are speaking about the religious practices of indigenous peoples, the practices of such ancient cultures as those of the Aztecs, Mayans, and the Incans, and you are also referring to the Hindus, are you not?. You should then also be required to include the polytheistic belief systems of the ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans. And while we are discussing this business of pagan practices we should also mention the Manicheans and the Parsis. Now, I trust that you and I are on the same relatively well-read page, eh? This is where I find that I must advise you that while human sacrifice may have played a role in some primitive non-Judeo-Christian-Islamic practices these folks were certainly not, as I have said before, most certainly not in the habit of chucking an entire class of pre-schoolers into the fire. The Mayans did seem to have some fairly distressing practices but these slaughters involved adult men who failed at the local sport. I am awful curious to know where you have been receiving your information on the practices of pagan peoples. Your lack of precision has been spectacular. It sounds like you have been enrolled in the school of fundamentalism. Please advise me if your street cred is anything more academically solid than that.

Thanks a bunch, Crazycat. Those are nice words and I am pleased that you found my suggestions useful. I really like the slogans which you have mentioned in your last post. What about getting local art college and, for that matter, gifted high school students involved in the visual work of raising money for your initiative? I am, you see, thinking that there are many young people who are very, very talented in the visual arts and who are also able to speak to their own peer groups in a way that an old fart like myself, for instance, cannot. I am also thinking that young people are energetic, idealistic, caring, and would be honoured to have the chance to become involved in your fund raising activities. This is why I am gonna suggest to you that you approach your local high school and art school students in order to propose to them that they devise artwork for posters and T-shirts for your campaign. I suggest that you present them with the great slogans which you already have. I particularly love "to err is human, to purr divine." :smile: Let the kids goof with these slogans, let them create artwork, and let them get involved. I see this as a win-win situation. You will get great artwork and fresh ideas for free. The kids will get a chance to play in the adult world, they will feel that they are being respected, and they will feel that they are engaged in something meaningful and creative. They will also mobilize all their friends. Why, you might even get some very nice media coverage out of this, grrl! Of course, I am just thinking out loud....but I thought you might be interested.

I once went to a wedding where they served nothing but cocktails and appetizers. The reception was held in an absolutely spectacular mansion. The bride and groom's friends all got plastered on the cocktails and began to party hearty. The upshot was that the principals involved were told that they would never be allowed to rent the premises again. If you are going to be married in a church you could advise folks that they are welcome to come to the ceremony and then you could pull off two parties: a small formal party complete with decent eats for those who are the very closest to you, and then a great big casual come-as-you-are kegger+wine bash with country fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, etc for everyone else. You can be upfront about the reason for the two parties - shallow pockets and lots of friends - and you should probably throw the second bash when you have recovered from your wedding and the honeymoon. Of course, you have got to let everyone who is going to be invited to the beer+wine bash know that you love them big time and that you want to them to party with you at this, one of the important times in your life. You should explain that you have skinny money but you do want to see all of them, and it is for this reason that you are planning to have a great big casual and very fun party for them. This will work best if you already have a date and a place and can give them all the requisite be-there-or-be square info. In short, your task is to make your guests feel very much wanted and to give them a good time. I suspect that sometimes folks who are holding weddings may forget that they are also hosts. If you want to make your wedding a fun and memorable event then you will think like a host and you will want to make sure that your guests have a truly fabulous time. Your guests will appreciate your warmth and affection towards them, they will be happy to see your happiness in your brand new marriage, and they will enjoy the fun of a good party. The best parties usually do rely on food, booze, friendliness, and music. An expensive dress, a manicure, and lovely flowers really are not all that important. Go cheap on them and long on food, drink, and friendship.

I disagree. There is little about a wedding that is interesting for guests other than the party. There should be food and there should be alcohol, even if it is a cash bar which is socially acceptable these days. There should be, however, in addition to the cash bar a complimentary glass or two of wine.

I donate to my city's animal shelter as does my tenant who is another animal fan. The Toronto Humane Society works hard at having a low kill-rate and they seem to be successful at raising money for the care and housing of abandoned and sometimes ailing animals though sadly there are always so very, very many of them. Their prime directive is to heal the animals who are sick and to find loving homes for all of the animals in their care. They do have volunteers who raise money either by going door to door or by phoning folks. They encourage people to give a small monthly donation on their credit cards instead of a one-time shot; this always works out in their favour with respect to the total amount of the donation. While they also charge a fee for adoption, they will sometimes drop this charge and they will make sure that the local media ensures that the public is aware of the waived fees. Of course TV will show cute pictures of dogs and cats who need homes, and stories of animals who have been rescued from abusive environments will also be featured. Media attention does help with both fund raising and adoption. For folks like me who are already contributors they send out a magazine which is carefully designed to make us feel good about donating our money and to encourage us to a) want to give even more and feel that we should insist that our friends donate to this worthy cause. The fall issue of the magazine had a very moving picture of a cat and a dog behind bars and the slogan: No one should spend the holidays in a shelter. This season, make room in your home and heart for a Toronto Humane Society pet. This is material which is, I think, very effective. Perhaps you could make up posters which are similar to this. You might also sell T-shirts which are cute and witty enough to wear and yet do carry your message. Perhaps an advert agency might take on this work pro bono as a charitable cause. If you would like to view our Humane Society's website for the purposes of idea-gathering, here it is. Toronto Humane Society | Welcome I hope I have given you some useful ideas. I am nuts about animals and all of my pets have been unwanted older cats who have been in need of a good home.

Marnie is right. You can do better and you will do better once your self-confidence improves. When I was in my 20s I settled for 2nd best because I didn't think that I was worth anything better. I believed that I was a mercy case. Later on I learned differently and I went out with some very interesting men before I settled down at the age of 35. I had finally met the right guy. We are still together and my mate treats me like gold. He is loving, loyal, dotes on me, is very generous in every way (including with some serious bling), and he is a knock-out. Hell, he even adored me after I got fat. And he has nursed me through operations and wicked bouts of depression. If I can get me one of those, so can you! This clown sounds like an immature, manipulative games player. Dump him. And keep the faith in yourself.

Both children and animals can tell the difference between quick, momentary, and unpleasant reactions and abuse, I believe.

I have a friend who says that you can choose your friends but your family is a curse which is sent to you by God. Is he bitter? Yes, but he also speaks the truth. For many of us our families are toxic.

And BJean, thanks for your support of our candidacy. We are honoured and we will make sure that you get a plum job, eh.

Green says: Rust looks absolutely fab when contrasted against a grey background. Do nail them rusty stars up. The funky warmth and charm of oxidizing metal does look awful nice against the cool elegance of grey. In fact I cannot think of a better colour to use in order to properly display these items. (To tell you the truth, now I want a rusty star! How big are they? Maybe a trip to Texas is in order. Green is feeling kinda jealous, eh.) Just don't hammer them stars up on a beige wall, sez Green.

Yep, the nosh could be a problem, and so could the fact that we are a pair of atheists, as could the fact that I am a foreign national with a sordid past, present, and, I hope, future! But, I am loaded with optimism and antidepressants and I say to you, Marjon9, let's do it! Let's go for that change! All the spare change that the good citizens can spare! And I have never tasted real bar-b-que. Do ya think they will serve it to us at breakfast? :tongue: Together we can change the shape of the world. (We can make it more fat-friendly, eh. :smile:)