green

The reason many women feel this way is easy to understand; it is because reproduction is by its very nature asymmetrical. After the man has successfully talked his way into a woman's vagina and deposited his sperm there he is free to leave. His genetic work is done. It will be the woman who will be on the hook emotionally, financially, and physically for the following 3/4 of a year. And, as I have said before, her body will never be the same and will still be serving up the consequences of pregnancy even when she is post-menopausal, most notably in the form of humiliating continence problems. A prolapsed uterus, something which requires an operation, is another possible post-menopausal consequence of pregnancy. We are aware that when it comes to this issue of choice, you, Marjon, are on our side. This is greatly appreciated for you are both rational and eloquent. Nevertheless, when women express a desire that men butt out, this is not, I believe, male bashing; it merely arises from women's recognition of the asymmetry of the burden of reproduction. And as we all know, there are so many men who are against choice.

Some women will put up with cheating mates because the infidelity is only conducted on a sexual level, not an emotional level. These are couples who really love each other and who have come to a rather unusual personal agreement. It may seem a little unconventional to the rest of us but I personally see nothing wrong with the Hillary-Bill alliance. In fact you could say that she is choosing to "stand by her man." Their private sexual arrangements really should have zero to do with your decision to vote for Hil or not. The only question which you should apply to any candidate must be the following one: do you feel that this candidate is qualified and will do a fine job - both at home and abroad - of looking after the interests of America? This being said, I kinda regret the loss of Mitt Romney in the Rep corner. He struck me as being much more cerebral and much savvier when it came to financial management than Huckabee. As for myself, I continue to favour Obama (for what it's worth).

Yah, update please.

Ceredad, for what it is worth, even though I occupy an opposing position, I really appreciate reading your take on this situation. The situation is indeed a complex one and this boils down in part to the fact that although it is understood that here in the west it is now recognised that all women should enjoy the same rights and freedoms as men, this biz of engaging in sexual activity will always prove to be perilous for women. Of course this is because sexual pleasure might result in pregnancy. Reproduction is an entirely assymmetrical biological function and it is the female who is inevitably left on the hook. Men who are pro-life wonder what the problem is. They say that a pregnancy only eats up 9 months of a grrl's life and then she can off-load the infant onto a sterile couple. In fact going through a pregnancy is more complicated than spending 3/4 of a year side-lined. A woman's body goes through a series of complex physiological changes. All of these are stressful. She will feel a great deal of physical discomfort. There will be a phase of nausea in the first trimester and the final trimester will usher in a need to piss so frequently that the woman will not be able to sleep throughout the night. Her belly will be extended and she may well end up with stretch marks. If she has a vaginal birth her vagina will be stretched and if she has a Caesarian she will be cut up. She will gain weight and her pelvis will spread. The breasts, too, will bloat with milk. These are just the physical symptoms, ones which women who do want to have children will embrace as part of the process. There are also psychological symptoms due to those raging hormones. You must understand that the pregnant woman's body will never, ever return to its pre-pregnancy state and that she will be likely to experience further fall out from her pregnancy after menopause. A woman who has had children is more likely to suffer from bladder control problems, and to experience a dropped uterus, than one who has never had children. Pregnancy is also expensive. The pregnant woman needs medical care. She also needs a new wardrobe. And she will be missing work time. I have great respect for those women who do choose to follow through with their pregnancies. At the same time I can understand why women will opt to terminate. Bluntly put, I believe that each woman must be free to decide for herself whose needs are the most important. I know that when I found out that I was pregnant I opted for an abortion.

I've been wearing my hair with bangs for awhile now. Then one day I happened to read that many older French women like to wear bangs; this means that they don't have to worry about gettin' Botoxed. lol The loose knot/pony tail thing works really well for me. It means many fewer visits to the hair salon and much less labour on a day to day basis. (I should mention that I am a really lazy old trout!) It leaves me looking much younger, prettier, and, oddly enough, more user friendly. I am one of those people with whom strangers feel comfortable striking up a conversation, asking for directions, or whatever.... Just today I ended up in two separate conversations while buying Fancy Beast for the cat and tinned tuna for myself at the local Walmart. My theory is that people are afraid to approach women who are too carefully groomed - especially when they are skinny Minnies as well. These are women who tend to give the appearance of being far too tightly coiled. And of course that really fabulous ultra-high fashion eye make-up really does have to be left to the young ones. *sigh* Sadly, that ship has sailed, eh. *sob*

I completely agree. I wear my hair very casually, and would never do the Laura Bush-thing. I wear it long enough to tie back in a ponytail or wear it up in a loose knot. I also have bangs. As for make-up, I wear a little mascara and sometimes I wear lipstick. That is it for me. I also wear very simple clothes, Audrey Hepburn is my role model, a lot of black and white, and I only wear natural fibres. I figure that my approach is a good one because people often think that I am European...until I open my mouth, that is.

Yep, you are right. I have been reading that researchers are finding that there are disturbingly high concentrations of chemicals in babies and small children because of our home environments.

It seems to me that your current calorie intake may be a little too extreme and may be an unwise move in the long run. The band is not about extreme dieting and fast weight loss. Fast weight loss generally leads to bad things: you risk screwing up your metabolism and it is unlikely that you will be able to cover your nutritional bases on a 800-1000 calorie diet. Given that you are doing due diligence in the exercise department it seems to me that you will definitely need more fuel than your current calorie intake provides. The lapband is a wonderful weight loss tool. Once you have passed through lapband hell - that horrible post-op period when you have had your band installed, and you find yourself starving while you are going through the whole liquid-mushie food stage, the stage when your guts are healing from the operation, and you have no restriction - you will be able to start the business of having your band filled. When you get the right amount of fill in your band you will find that it will act as a physical barrier against overeating. You will also find that you actually lose that sensation of starving. Tweaking the amount of fill that you personally need in your band does take some time and you must be prepared to be patient about this part of the process. What you can do in the meantime is stop starving yourself. This is not good for you emotionally or physically. In fact many bandsters have found that they lose more weight when they eat 1500 cals/day than when they eat 800. Too few calories can cause the body to go into starvation mode. You can, however, begin to figure out how to eat in a band friendly manner, in a way which will work for you. This means figuring out what kinds of healthy and Protein rich foods you like and would want to keep in your house. Speaking for myself, I now eat a lot more eggs and I rely on those little tins of tuna. Eggs are loaded in protein and a raft of Vitamins and minerals; their cholesterol content is negligable when contrasted with fast foods. They also nuke up real nice with salsa and fresh vegies.

I remember my mum telling me when I was a kid that you can always tell a woman's age by the state of her neck. She said that a woman may look young for her age but the neck never lies. So when I went for my post weight loss face lift I made the surgeon promise that he would get the neck. He did. But they say that the back of the hands can also be a giveaway. I don't feel like going for a hand lift, though.

I got banded when I was 57 and I sure don't regret it. I now weigh approximately 140lbs and can easily fit into size 10 jeans. I should be able to wear size 8 but I am thick in the waist - I always have been. *sigh* I am certain that you will love your band. And you will love the support that you receive on LBT, too. As for preparing for your surgery, I found that having a pill crusher, and a supply of reading material for the first few days were both important. If you have a TV in your bedroom that will work just as well as books and magazines. I found it difficult to lever myselfself up in order to go to the bathroom during the first couple of days post-op. Having a piece of furniture by your bed that you can grab ahold of is helpful; this means that you don't need to call for anyone to give you a hand. You likely will have gas cramps, bad ones. These are a by-product of the surgery. The best way to get rid of 'em is to walk as much as you can. You should also have a supply of chewable Gas-X on hand.

You look great. Congratulations. I really enjoyed seeing your before and during photos. Thanks for posting them.

The sex drive is very complicated. Certainly anyone who has been placed on the newer antidepressants is likely to experience a big change in their sex drive. This is the side effect which manufacturers warn users about. On the other hand, such emotional factors as depression and stress will also serve to distort the sexual response. But there are other factors at play as well. The truth is that many of us do not feel the same intensity of sexual passion once this passion becomes domesticated. Crazed sexual passion and deep marital love are certainly not the same thing. The initial experience of love does act much in the same way as a drug. We all know how those first weeks of passion work, don't we? We all know how we can stay up all night, night after night, and still be able to continue functioning in our day gigs during that initial crazed phase. When we are lucky our relationships with our love objects are able to survive that shift from crazed sex weasel lust to the next step, the one where the emotional ties continue to deepen even though the sex-crazed weasel days now are over. Some people choose to deal with the loss of this thrill, this sense of crazy passion, by continuing to engage in affairs or promiscuity.

But as fer Colostomy Boy, well there, argh, ugh, words fail me! I wouldn't have known what to do except maybe call the cops and call the media. What can anyone do with a pig like that except arrest him and expose him to public ridicule?

I am with you on this point. (By the way I adore Hello Kitty...tres cool.) I am a complete flop when it comes to turning the other cheek. I am more of an eye for an eye grrl. I will never start a fight but I have no qualms about going in for the body blow. I sure would have verbally bitch smacked that old cow. She was cruisin' for a bruisin'....

The husband, on the other hand, is desperate to buy a retirement shack in Florida. The current subprime debacle has the boy frothing at the lips with the yen to go shopping.

Oh yah, it sure is easy to spot the snowbirds when you are in Florida. They are the oldie mouldies, the ones with the skin which looks like cheap leatherette. But snowbirds are happy folks; they know, you see, exactly what they are missing. As for me, I am one of the number 50 sunblock gang, and even though I haven't seen the sun (excluding the rare half-hour appearance) since last October, I cannot do more than 10 days vacation in Florida or in coastal Mexico: too much sun and too much heat and humidity for this grrl.

This is a really interesting post. One of my closest friends suffers from industrial disease. She is highly oversensitive to chemicals. When she was at her very worst she had to read books through glass because of the chemicals in the print and could not be out in public. This is because she couldn't be around perfume, perfumed products, clothing which has been dry-cleaned, etc. I have learned a lot about environmental contaminents through this friendship. I have learned for instance that synthetic broadloom and broadloom underlay emit chemical vapors. Apparently mattresses do as well. In my house there is very little broadloom. We mostly have hardwood and oriental (pure wool) rugs.

*blush* Yes. I knew there had to be a reason why your Creator made me blonde....

This item has been floating around the internet for a few years now.

It is true that there is something truly extraordinary about snow. It sure is a fine thing to find yourself comfortably all warm and cosy inside watching the effects of a snow blizzard. And it sure is a magical thing for a city cat to wake up on a winter morning only to be met with a strange and eerie sense of silence....and to realise that there has not been some kind of sci-fi holocaust which has hit the city over night. Nope, this silence is only one of the results of that brand new white blanket of snow, the one which muffles and hides pretty much everything which has to do with us humans and our activities. The streets are quiet and they look as clean as an operating room. Of course the magic of the snow-thing does get old fairly quickly. The joys provided by the icy purity of snow can only last for so long before sensible people grow bored. This is why Canadian retirees turn into snowbirds. This is why we flood Florida.......

Thanks, Jack. I am a little less confused but only a little less confused. Though it is understandable that successful parties will naturally desire to have the electoral lines in their districts redrawn in order ensure their future successes at the local polls, I still don't understand why voters should be required to publically indicate their affiliations with certain parties through this biz of registering. It is, afterall, pretty easy to discern by the results of a clutch of polls and the results of the election proper as to where the sympathies of an electoral district may lie without its voters being required to reveal their own political sympathies. It strikes me that the essence of the democratic election is that we all have the freedom to chose our own poison without scrutiny. This point of privacy is awful important, I think. This means that no one will be forced to suffer a smack-down by either one's government or one's fellow men for having had the courage or the blind stupidity to have opted for the wrong/unpopular choice. As for the desire of winning parties to have the geographical lines re-drawn in order that these new boundaries satisfy the noisiest political voices in the hood, well, I can see advantages to this. All communities are naturally anxious to elect representatives who do reflect the values and the interests of their own neighbourhoods. This makes sense, doncha think? We all want to elect representatives who will speak for us, who will represent our own local concerns. Gerrymandering may be viewed as a very, very shady activity or as a legitimate desire to ensure that those neighbourhoods who are relatively homogeneous will have a chance of being able to elect representatives who are truly able to express their concerns. Although I do not personally agree with the practice of gerrymandering I thought that it might be fun to toss out the above argument.

Argh! Gross! There are some mighty crazy people out there!

As for myself, I still cannot wrap my head around this concept of "taking the easy way/cheating" or whatever. Weight issues are medical issues, not moral issues. This technology now exists and I see no reason why we should not take advantage of it in dealing with what is, afterall, a medical problem. This same attitude, by the way, used to exist until very, very recently when it came to dealing with the problem of depression. Until the last few years depression was viewed as being a moral problem, as a sign of emotional weakness, and we were told to "change our attitudes, look on the bright side, take our vitamins," yadda, yadda, yadda. This attitude existed even within the medical community. Now depression is recognised as a neurological disease, one associated with a malfunction of the brain chemistry, and it is considered good medicine to opt to "take the easy way out," and by this I mean to take those medications, antidepressants, which will work to fix bad brain chemistry. A diabetic is not taking the easy way out by taking insulin. Obesity is just another one of an array of medical issues, in my opinion. The notion that we should knock ourselves out with diet and exercise in order to attempt to achieve what the normos have handed to themselves on a silver plate is just dumb. The band exists. Hurray for the band!!!!

Good luck with your latest fill, Peaches. Let us know what is going on with you. And, Donna D, you know we want to hear how life is in your corner. My husband might be enjoying my ruined voice. Hah! I can't yell at him anymore.

On the other hand I am all for having all bottles of cheap perfume locked up or, better yet, buried underground in toxic landfill sites. (Sorry, Fairy, but I really, really hate cheap perfume!)