green

Great photos, eh.

There is a vilification of poverty and of the poor and from what I have been reading this attitude originated with an off-shoot of Protestantism - Calvinism. According to Alain de Botton in his book, Status Anxiety, many 19th century Christian thinkers came to think that wealth in this world was a mark of God's favour and thus " the Poor are Sinful and Corrupt and Owe their Poverty to their Stupidity." The writer notes that this feeling was particularly prevalent in America. Add to this the fact that it is not easy to like poor people. They seem to live muddled and chaotic lives and usually have bad taste. And the middle class, the backbone of any stable society, is under attack or, at least, feels itself to be under attack. It is understandable that there will be tensions and resentment. Nevertheless, most of you are Christian, and Jesus's take on the poor was very different. His instruction on this issue is much more challenging. This is not to say that we should not care for our ageing folk. These are not only people who created us, their own blood children, but who created our society through working hard, paying their taxes, engaging in the community and by voting. We owe them a lot, both singly as their children and collectively as a society.

We in Soviet Canuckistan are much more heavily taxed than our neighbours to the south. These taxes go towards paying for our social programmes and our general infrastructure. You must realise that our population is very small compared to yours, only somewhere around 35 million I believe, and yet our land mass is large. This means that a lot of highways, etc. to nowhere have got to be paid for. Still, we've been told that we boring Canadians seem to be a nation of savers, folks who have little nest eggs squirreled away. On the blog of an American who chose to move to Canada for political reasons she mentions that, along with all our good qualities, we are cheap. I was kinda shocked until I thought about it. She is likely right: we are a nation of bargain hunters and savers. Perhaps it has something to do with the climate, eh. My friends who live in the highly industrialised western European countries pay much more tax than we do. They like to visit Canada because the living here is cheap in much the same way that we Canucks love crossing the border for our holidays. The idea of a flat across the board tax with no loop holes seems intriguing to me. It would put a lot of accountants out of business, though. How much weight do they carry in Washington? Perhaps if the flat tax works south of the border this concept could be imported up here.

Oof, the goldie years suck, you brand new lucky Canucky. Bette Davis said that growing old wasn't for sissies. It is good to hear your voice again and you should feel free to express the downside of life on this site. You should know that there are others of us who may be going through the same b*ll$h!t, too. Feel free to vent. I myself am suffering from a buggered-up shoulder that won't get better and I still don't feel any restriction! And this is most depressing time of the year! It is the time for eating and sleeping....

And if Iraq becomes a "better place," won't that be an American success? And, by the way, the donkey is spelled Democrat!

You have a good point, Laurend. There will be home grown terrorists (nutbars) who will have no connection with the events in foreign countries. There will be folks like Tim McVey. There will also be alienated/whacked out crazy people who decide to become mass or serial killers. Most Americans are more likely to be affected by these individuals than by Muslim terrorists. This is just the way the odds work. I don't think that we should forget the odds. People who live in Manhattan, Washington and possibly Chicago, L.A, San Francisco and Seattle may live in attractive cities to terrorists. As for myself, a Canadian, I live in Toronto which is probably the most attractive Canadian city. Folks who live in Ottawa, our capital, and in Montreal, Calgary, and Vancouver might also be considered to be at risk. This means that most of Canada and the United States are irrelevant to the terrorists, and even in those areas that are vulnerable most of the population would be unaffected. The events of 9/11 were truly horrible. I was emotionally frozen by these events as were we all. This was not just an American tragedy, it was a North American tragedy. In fact many Canadians were working in the twin towers and died that day. And it was Canada who received the international flights when the States became a no-fly zone. It is, however, of paramount importance that a large and powerful country not sink into fear and paranoia as a result of this terrible time. North America will not be invaded by Muslims. Post 9/11 there has been no further successful terrorist activities on North American soil. Should, god forbid! a further tragedy happen, most of you will not be affected and the perpetrators will be found and punished. I am puzzled by the climate of fear in which so many of you have chosen to live. Realistically speaking most of us have as much chance of being killed by terrorists or psycho-killers as we do of winning the lottery. In fact we probably have more chance of winning the lottery. I do not think that it is healthy for anyone to choose to operate under a climate of fear. I say this as a woman who has travelled alone in Europe, who has lived alone in the heart of a major north American city, and as a woman who is, on her father's side, part of an often disliked minority. The way I see it, you who have chosen to embrace this climate of fear have permitted the passage of the Patriotic Acts, and these are serious attacks on your civil liberties....

Oh, Carlene, my current viewpoint has come about because I have been dragged unwillingly to the point where I am now an old fart. I have observed a lot of relationships and seen a lot of compromises that seem to observers to make no sense at all and yet they work for the two people who are involved.

I don't think you understand much about terrorism. I don't either but here are a few facts that you should be aware of. 1 - Apart from the truly dreadful events of 9/11, events that occurred while the Republicans were in office by the way, there have been no other successful terrorist activities inside North America. 2 - Terrorists like to target internationally important cities and international flights. This means that very few of the 300 million folks who live in America will be affected by terrorist activities. 3 - Most terrorist activities are confined to the state of Israel. You may be interested to know that a number of possible terrorist activities since 9/11 have been foiled due to the joint efforts of the FBI and the CIA in the United States, the RCMP and CSIS in Canada, and by various European authorities including the Scotland Yard and Interpol. (This way of combatting terrorism is both cheaper and more effective than invading Iraq.)

When I was young and on the eve of my marriage I told my father that I thought that sexual infidelity was the worst thing that a marriage could endure. He was amused by my answer. I was very young but it was my husband's sexual infidelity that ended my marriage. Looking back I now realise that this had been the last straw; he had been a lousy husband. For the past 20 plus years I have been living with a very good man. I believe that our relationship would survive an episode of infidelity if both partners wanted it to remain intact. What it would not survive is spousal abuse, psychological/physical, or financial cheating. If I were to find out that my mate had robbed me of my financial security through years of consistently irresponsible behaviour, I would leave him. If I lived with an abusive man, I would leave him. If my mate, who has always been a loving, responsible, and nurturing human being, had strayed, I would be horribly hurt and I would probably want to know why he had cheated, but I would want to give our relationship another shot. As we all know, marriage is for the long haul and during this time we see our loved one in all phases - the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are times when we are out of sync in our emotional and physical needs. We shouldn't turn to other people, but some people are vulnerable and they do. I hope this never happens to my relationship nor to anyone else's, of course, but we humans are complicated, imperfect, and often lonely creatures.

Is what happens inside a marriage really ever any outsider's business whether the participants be gay or straight? Most of us, the ones of us who don't live in Hollywood that is, take marriage seriously or so it is to be hoped. But maybe life isn't like that, even in heterosexual land. There are an awful lot of divorces, aren't there? And I am sure that there are infidelities that have occurred in marriages that have finally been discussed by the husband and the wife, and ultimately put up with and even forgiven. Yes, marriage should probably be viewed as a serious life-long monogamous commitment between two individuals, and in an ideal world it would be, but this is not an ideal world. Humans are imperfect creatures and it is easy for them to make mistakes. I have observed a lot of relationships and I have read a lot of biographies and I have come to consider that emotional and intellectual fidelity are just as important, if not more so, than sexual fidelity in some marriages. It is up to the individual couple to decide what works for them, not up to any outside force. And by the way, on a personal note, I kicked my ex-husband to the curb when I discovered that he was sexually stepping out on me. His second wife, however, loved him and valued other aspects of their relationship enough that she chose to endure his sexual infidelities. He died a couple of years ago. She is still mourning him deeply.

I have never cheated on my current mate and we have been together for over 20 years nor am I likely to but if I did I would never tell him.

I live in Toronto but I have gay friends who live in Paris who have gay friends who live in Montreal. In fact one of my Paris friends has just moved to Montreal. It is a gay-friendly city. Both Paris and Montreal have gay quartiers, by the way, as does my city. The last week of June in this city is known as Pride Week, there are festivities in the ghetto, and these culminate in a parade on Sunday. The turn-out for this parade is now massive, well over half a million people, and so many major companies participate by providing floats advertising their wares. Also participating in the parade are a number of gay and lesbian organisations; PFLAG is one, parents of lesbian and gays. There is also a group of gay Anglicans (Episcopalians) and a number of minority/special interest groups that are gay. These are groups that carry banners and home made signs. Even though I am not gay I've participated in the parade a few times. Long before the parade became so popular a gay friend used to have a gang of his straight friends come over to celebrate the party with him. We would wait until a float with really good music came by and then fall in behind and dance for awhile. Now the parade is so popular that there are barricades between the public and the parade and so this is no longer possible. Most recently I marched in order to support a friend of mine who is a lesbian. My husband did too and he found the experience stressful. lol

Hurray for Geezer Sue. (And I believe that the total number of deaths on 9/11 was 3,000.)

Ohmigawd! That is so true!! I guess I'm pretty lucky. I've always had a taste for nice boys.:Banane20:

I play the stereo beautifully. I was also married to a musician and was involved with another one for 7 years. Does any of this count? Haha.

Yah, I was told that my gut was too big to be removed surgically. *sigh*:omg:

I find some of the comments in this post to be rather curious. I saw no signs that Iraq was poised to invade America and impose Islam upon the American people. To begin with, an independent multi-national task force headed up by Herr Blix had determinded that there were no weapons of mass destruction in that country. Moreover, Iraq would be much more interested, as it was before, in wealthy Kuwait which is part of the Basra Peninsula and therefore arguably part of Iraq's territory. Iraq also has an enemy much closer to home to worry about and that is Iran. Invasion of Afghanistan made a certain amount of sense since the Taliban and al Qaida are linked. Invasion of certain regions of Pakistan would make sense; these regions house the Taliban and al Qaida. But Pakistan is supposedly a friend of the United States and that makes invasion awkward. Similarly, invasion of wealthy Saudi Arabia, the birth place of al Qaida and the fundamentalist movement that started it all, would make sense but Saudi Arabia is a friend of the United States, too. Re Katrina: the hurricane did terrible damage. The complaint with Bush and company was how they dropped the ball in the aftermath. The situation down there was as dire as anything that the world has seen in a third world country. You may be interested to know that many of us up here in Canada were sending money down there through the Red Cross. Indeed, we were having fund raising parties. My friends who live in Germany and France were horrified by the news coverage. Quite frankly, the events that followed Katrina were an international disgrace. I am also left wondering how any American, there are afterall over 300 million of you, can think that you will be invaded by Muslims and forced to bow down to Allah. It doesn't make sense.

The Patriot Acts have made inroads into your civil liberties from what I understand. These were instigated by the Republicans, presumably by those who sit at the far right. That these erosions of civil liberties were successfully brought about was due to the climate of fear and paranoia that has been fostered in America since the terrible events of 9/11. It is worth noting that these events have not been repeated and yet the fall-out in your country has been dramatic. There has been those Patriot Acts, the war in Afghanistan (which did make some sense) and the entirely senseless and very costly war in Iraq. Moreover, the United States has placed itself in an awkward position in the international arena. By electing to invade Iraq after an independent report (Blix) had stated that there were no weapons of mass destruction in that country, your country has seriously weakened its international diplomatic ties and lost "street cred," speaking globally. All this has stemmed from the way that 9/11 was handled - the aftermath. It is worth noting that European countries have been subject to terrorist attacks, too. Their approaches to these horrible events are different. They seem to rely on detective and spy work in order to find and destroy terrorist cells. And it is worth noting that terrorists attack major cities. Folks that live anywhere else have nothing to fear.

Back when Mad TV used to be funny it used to have a reoccurring skit called Lowered Expectations. This addressed the very problem that the chronically dateless have: their expectations are often far too high. I have known many dateless folks who routinely refuse to date anyone who is realistically within their grasp because the person isn't attractive enough. I have a friend who is single, in his 40s, has only ever been laid by one woman, and is only attracted by girls who look like Hilary Duff. When I suggested that he date a sexually frustrated colleague of mine, an over-weight woman who is middle-aged, he gasped in horror and said no! I attempted to match up another man, a guy who was in search of a date after his wife had dumped him, with a plump but very good looking girlfriend of mine. That never panned out either even though this guy came lumbered with a collection of children and was no centrefold himself. Of course we women are just as bad. My plump blonde girlfriend had been complaining about the lack of men and sex in her life but probably would have rejected this guy had it come to the point where he had actually made a date with her. Yep, over the years I have known many lonely people who have rejected other lonely people just because they weren't good enough.

My older friend got married. He told his wife after the birth of their first son that he was gay. Both of their sons are adults now and he and his wife are living apart. They still remain close as a family though which is a good thing. I went to see Brokeback Mountain with him. I found the movie a little long but he was very affected by it. It dealt with his era. I know of another man whose father was gay and eventually left his marriage for this reason. This man has been left feeling permanently bitter towards his father as has his mother. He is also unable to tolerate his brother-in-law, a homosexual. I live in a large city and life for young gay men here is much different. They are often openly gay and seem relaxed about their sexual orientation. The same seems to be true of young lesbians, I think. They have come a long way. Nevertheless, there are career paths where homosexuals still get a rough ride; I know a guy who teaches drama in a highschool who gets a lot of crap from the students, and I met a very butch lesbian who ended up quitting her teaching job. The rest of the staff treated her with hostility. Her workplace became toxic. Though life for homosexuals has become much easier in large cities I suspect that it is still very difficult in small towns. In big cities there is usually a "gay ghetto," a part of the city where one can meet and network with other people who are gay. And there is more anonymity in the big city.

Well, this would be b*ll$hit! You and others should mobilize yourselves on a grassroots level to see if you can bring about change. At the very least, you should be able to embarass big pharmacy.

Well, thank you kindly from a Canuck. It is true that this country's centre lies to the left of the Democrats. And you might be amused and amazed to learn that it was a Baptist preacher from our Bible Belt who was the guiding force behind the successful push for universal health care. You might also be amazed to learn that our current conservative and pro-Bush minority government has just dismantled the income trust programme up here. By doing so the government has cost the "haves" a lot of cash but they deemed that it was healthier for the economy in the long run. By doing this they have alienated a lot of voters. I am learning a lot from all of you who participate on these "controversial" threads. It now seems to me that the Canadian government is much less controlled by business interests. Perhaps this is because we are a much, much younger nation. Or perhaps this is because we still have strong British/European ties and so find ourselves following the British style of doing things. You may or may not know that we still have the Queen on our cash. Our constitution/Charter of Human Rights is less than 30 years old, I believe, but it is a Charter that purports to safeguard the rights of minorities. Canada is a very, very young nation and it is still a nation of immigrants. (My own parents were immigrants.) The assumption behind this Charter is that majorities can look after themselves just fine. Homosexuals, a minority, are now granted the right to marry under the provisions of our constitution/Charter. This is, for what it's worth, a brief explanation of Canada. We do have some Americans who move here. In fact there is an interesting blog, wemovetocanada, I think it is called, which is the diary of a New York couple who move to Canada. Of course there is many more of us who move southward. There are many former Canucks in Hollywood and Green's own brother lives in Virginia. I've often said that bad Americans get reborn as Canadians! Remember that we have the weather from Hell!

Good luck, Wheezikins, and do talk to your GP about your concerns. :help: Stress can do strange things to us. As for me, I definitely need a restriction. I am eating like a little piglet! :hungry: Maybe it is the stress of the winter months. I want to hibernate, eh.:notagree

Carlene, one of my best friends, we've been friends since university, was raised in a Catholic working class home. He is very, very bright. He spent his high school years in a Catholic boys' school on scholarships. His mum came around to understanding and accepting him, as did his brother and his sister. His blue collar father never did. This is a very bright and sensitive man, and a man who has three university degrees. I would say that he operates with much more ethical clarity and with more kindness than I do and yet the guy is gay. This means that for many people his value can be discounted.

Though I really don't care what happens to the odious preacher Haggard, Sunta does raise an interesting point in her post. I have always had gay friends ever since I was a teenager and that was a long, long time ago. These are individuals who have told me that they have known that they were different from a very young age. Most of them peg this sense of awareness from when they were between 4 and 6 years old. I was not, therefore, surprised when the results of various studies indicated that homosexuality is an issue of nature, not nurture. Homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice. Our teenage years are probably the most painful years of our lives. All teenagers want, desparately want to blend in with their peers. There really isn't any room for any of the oddballs; the fatties, the shrimps, the financially disenfranchised, and those who are too bright and those who aren't bright enough are not welcome in teensville. No gay kid is going to feel good about his or her orientation during those years. Moreover, the chances are high that the kid is not going to feel comfortable at home. Even the most liberal families have their hopes, eh. They are assuming that their kids will eventually marry and produce the next generation. If the kid's family is more conservative, well, his agony is that much worse. I spent today hanging with an older friend who is homosexual. He was married and he has two adult children. He was telling me about a guy he knew who came out to his family, was beaten up by his father and then thrown down a flight of stairs. Teenagers do commit suicide when they feel that they are different and that this difference is too painful to deal with. This may not hinge upon the issue of their sexual orientation. Teenagers do get bullied and marginalized for other reasons. But certainly no one chooses to be gay. It is too much work and too much heartbreak.