raquel42

I never had a weight problem, I was always small.  Most of my immediate family is petite and very small in build.  I was always a little bigger, always had been active and well-built.  In my late 20s, I started to gain weight quickly.  I developed bad eating habits and my husband and I ate out a lot.  I didn't think it was a big deal until I tried to drop a "few" pounds and absolutely couldn't.  After two pregnancies that resulted in C-sections and 9lb 13oz babies, my weight stayed in the 220s.  I stayed in that weight range for 8 years and knew deep down I would not have the discipline or restraint needed to lose 100lbs.  I really did not want to have surgery, but found myself getting excited as the day drew near.   I did not foresee any emotional problems, and felt I would only lose the weight if I HAD to.  My mother accompanied me to an out of town surgeon and hospital, and everything actually went very smoothly.  I felt this was a good sign, that I was doing the right thing.  I was fine even the day after surgery, but the second day I had a breakdown.  It was bad (also needed meds that would've helped but that's a different story).  I really felt like I did the wrong thing, and wanted the band OUT!!  It was an icky feeling I did not anticipate.  I got through this first week okay I guess, and went back to work 5 days after my surgery.  Counting the 2 weeks before surgery until one week after, I've "lost" about 20 lbs.  Probably not all fat weight, and I know the pace will change when my diet becomes more normal.  I would have to say I would NOT recommend this or any type of bariatric surgery to people in or under my weight range.  I feel very mad at myself for not really trying harder.  This is just as difficult as dieting.  I still feel hungry, and I think about food constantly - way more than I thought I would.  I wish I had just done a watered-down version of the bariatric diet to try to lose weight.  I'm not sure where or how this will end up - part of me still wants the band out.  But, I think I will get used to it, and I know if and when I get near or at my goal weight I will have no regrets.  I HATE being this overweight, and unfortunately, felt desperate.