maxamum1

I am a female who has always thought of herself as a little overweight.  As a teen I was in the 125 weight range and each year after college I gained an average of 5 pounds and over the years it has been a steady climb.  I have a family history of heart disease and diabetes.  I am a nonsmoker and I drink in moderation.  I seem to have less and less energy as the years move on.  I have also developed an arthritic knee and when I went to the orthopedist to discuss knee replacement, he suggested lapband surgery.  I had not thought of myself as obese until that visit.  When I got into my car after the visit, I said to myself, " this man just called me fat and on top of that obese.  Even though he did not say those words to me, his story was sobering and caused me to take the next step.  I then went to a seminar and shortly after started the journey to acheiving approval.  As I think about my emotions, I have come to realize that I am an emotional eater.  My deepest feeling about this process is that, loosing weight is something I should be able to do on my own, without doing something so invasive and intense.   Also, I am finding it difficult to stay in the moment and not worry about what people will say when I do start to loose the weight.  I keep trying to tell myself that I will be able to be honest but I can totally identify with Star Jones, and her unwillingness to admit that she had resorted to this measure.