Hi Bella
I so share your feelings and often have black thoughts about the way I look. I am waiting for my first appointment with the surgeon, and that is just for a pre-visit, still have long to wait. I hope to get banded early next year. So like Traciat said, I don't have to worry too much about Christmas and the food (although I shall not be overeating). I just couldn't face having to be on a liquid diet around that time of year.
Traciacat, your advice is precious - I feel like it was written to me, that's how much it makes sense! I also try to remember how well my body works compared to some people worse off than me. However, the focus seems to creep back on the weight issue whether I want it or not. I mean, it is just so in my face all the time, right? But I shall keep working at pulling my mind back from the 'black hole' when it hits me.
Bella, all my best wishes and encouraging thoughts go to you - hang in there
Mari