BayougirlMrsS

Where to start..... the beginning i guess... So it was the summer of 2009 and i stumbled upon this site... but back then it was Lapbandtalk.... but not only LB people came here... People looking for answers, support, comfort, a place that they could feel connected if you will with people like them selves. I meet some of the nicest, amazing encouraging people here. Some of which i am still in touch with via Phone, FB, chat... Some i have even had the pleasure of meeting in person and have life long friendships with. Some i have never met in person, but feel like i've know them my whole life. Kindred spirits if you may. But, Alex saw the need to have one site that everyone could come to no matter what WLS journey you were on. Some loved it.... Others, well not so much and left, never to be heard from again. I, myself left for a while. But felt a need to reconnect and get some encouragement to get back on the wagon as you would say.... I had let my success make me complacent.... and in turn i gained back 20lbs. This time i recognized what was happening before i let it get the best of me... and got the best of it. So now im back at the 140is range and happy happy happy. As a lot of you know, my journey has not been the "ideal" one. No, i didn't have problems with my band (one 1cc unfill in over 6 years) whoop whoop... My problems came from some place worst... much worst.... In the form of the person that should have been my rock, my back bone, my at-a-boy giver... the person that should have been there encouraging me and praising me to keep striving to do and be better. Instead, i got you will never succeed at this, why do you need surgery, can't you do it the "natural" way.... Then you're too thin, you look sickly, your face is sunk in.... LB is just a hobby... you have a surgical body.... but the best one.... Your losing weight was the worst thing that ever happen to us..... And yes im talking about my Husband... The person i have spent a quarter century of my life with. the person that i once thought i would grown old with... The person i thought would be the one to say...Wow, you look nice, pretty, sexy... Now we are room mates in the same home if you will... two people that see each other everyday... but never really SEE each other. And yes im just a guilty. When i started this i had a few friends ask.... Do you have a strong marriage? I thought what a strange question... Of course i did... or so i thought. So i find myself at a cross-road if you may between staying in a marriage of convince where there is no romance, no intimacy, no connection. OR.... taking the leap and getting out and jumping into a world i no longer know.... Another world were there are no guarantees that i will be happy. What if i end up alone? (no i will never be a divorced cat lady)... What if i can't make it on my own? I never really had too. I mean, i got married the first time at 16, divorced at 18 and remarried at 23...... What if ... What if... good Lord the What ifs..... Anyway, in my journey of self discovery, I have made incredible successes as far as weightloss, feeling and looking better than I have in year.... But, i have made some terrible mistakes, trusted people i thought were my friends... Seeked out approval from people i should not have and in ways i should not have. But, i made my bed so to speak... So in my haste of anger, disappointment, and a lot of hurt... My first instinct was to leave this place, leave the place that lead me on a few paths.... One of great success and the other great self disappointment. So i deleted... deleted... deleted... i thought that's it... Im not going back. but then i realized... it's not this site.... It was me. I made those choices.. No one did that but me.... I have a lot of self reflection still to do.... I hope one day to have an Epiphany if you may and wake the hell up and Piss or get off the pot..... It's just so damn hard to pull that trigger, cuz once the bullet leave the chamber, something or someone will be damaged and life will never be the same. So, thanks to all my friends that have supported me through the years and i know will continue to support me. And to those i have offended and hurt along the way... I ask for your forgiveness. I am but mere mortal.... I know that in the years i have given lots of good advice, some say even great advice... I have been open and as honest as i can... some took me and my advice as negative... but in the years i have gotten way more thank yous... the F yous... So i consider that pretty good coming from a southern fowled mouth, shoot from the hip, tell it like it is girl.... So for this, I will stay and bug the hell out of all of you.... lol...... its not that you all didn't mean the world to me, but I deleted all my friends in my haste... and if you still want to come along to see where this journey leads... friend me again... Thanks for everything...... Chris AKA BayouGirl....

I have not always needed you.... and one time in my life.. i was a "normal" person. Size 0-3... weight a whopping 100lbs. Back in my single day... then one day you meet a wonderful guy and you fall in love... ahhh things are great. You get married and have a beautiful son. and life is good.... but then you notice that your not happy as you use to be. some days are worse than others... you find the strength to get up every day and go to work and live a "normal" life. Things are good at home... but something is missing... that spark, that feeling you use to get when you and your spouse were together intimately .. and you notice that those time have gotten further and further apart. and you think, what is going on? and one day the reason is staring you right in the face... the mirror... but in that mirror is someone else... surely it's not me... I don't look like that... that's a ugly fat girl... i'm not ugly and i for damn sure am not fat. Can't be... i told my self years ago i would NEVER like myself look like... those people... but then you look closer... and closer and there.. i know those eyes.... those are my eyes... but why do they look so sad. I have happy eyes. and i see, i see the real me. the one others have been seeing for years.... how did i not see this... how did i let myself get like this ... how did i become that girl that now had to shop at the plus size store... when just yesterday i was a size 3... How did i become the girl the skinny girls are not looking at and saying... i'll never let my self look like HER... and i'm the HER. this feeling takes the very last shred of self-confidence and stomps it into the dirt and spits on it. and you think...i am ugly i am fat i am unworthy of love.... unworthy of feeling good. and you start to eat... more and more and everything keeps getting worse. you stop taking care of your self, stop dressing up stop wearing make up and fixing your hair.... stop putting forth the effort at all... You are now sitting in a deep dark care, alone and no one or nothing can show you the light.... But one day... you open your eyes expecting to see nothing... complete darkness and there it is... a speck of light.... it's tiny, but just right there in front of you. and you squint to see it.... making sur its really thee. that speck was my friend Paula... she had lb surgery and everyday we talked and everyday my light grow brighter.... I went to the doctor and did all the test... did it all and the the news that i was approved... OH ... JOy. I looked in the mirror and saw a glimmer of hope. But as the days grew closer... I started to think... WHAT IF... what if i die on the table, what if i fail at this too, what if i stayed fat forever... Then i saw this site...trolled for a long while. I didn't want to sign because, well what if someone knew me... the horror... Then i saw all the successive people... the beautiful woman and handsome men that in their before pictures looked so sad... sad like me. Then i saw the after pictures.. and all the happy smiling faces... people who were bigger than me... now wearing size 6 jeans (lellow)... and i thought.. i can do this i can get my life back.... I will be happy again. so on November 10, 2009... i awoke.. was re-born. and i did do it... i lost 80lbs... it took me longer than most, but i don't care. I have donated all the 12-14-16 & 18 and moved in to my own size 6... On Feb 15, 2012.... after a long hard fight.... i won and awarded my self a tummy tuck... i deserved it. I earned it.... so to my band... thank you... for sticking with me and always keeping me on track. and too all you out there thinking about doing this.....search with in your self and be happy again... which ever way you choose..... blessings.....

Your stomach does NOT remain whole. You have a little pouch that is made. The difference between GB and the sleeve is with GB they leave the remaining larger part of your stomach attached while with the sleeve it is removed(normally 85% is removed). I wouldn't want any newbies to miss understand what you are saying. Thanks for the information. I think I'm still a few months away from getting it done, I want to know all I can so when the time comes I am well informed. I was curious about the pain. I've had three c section in 4 years, all of which were very easy to recover from. Is it similar? Worse or better? I had my LB on tuesday and was back to work on Monday. Now i do have a sit down job, but my pain was minimal. I also had had two c-sections, Hysterectomy and gallbladder removed, LB and TT.... the most painful was my Csection. the others were a breeze... I know for my Hyst. i was back to work in a little over two weeks only because my gyn would not release me. My GB i was back at work in 3 day. TT i was back at work in 12 days

Why are you limiting your self to those two? I myself had the band done in 2009 have lost and maintained 87lbs. I have had NO complications at all. If it's portion control you want, then the band does it better than any other. All surgeries have there pro's and con's and i have Many personal friends that have had all.. 4 have had the GB: One passed away due to obesity. He lost over 300lbs and gained it all back. two did well, gained it back and Untill just this past year i had one friend that lost and kept it off... but sadly she has gained it all back too. 3 sleeve friends: One had done great, she had it done two years ago. she had a ruff start as something went wrong in surg. and had to get a stint put in, she has maintained over 100lbs but she also bust her ass in the gy.....one did great, lost 150lbs, she had hers done in 2008, sadly she has put back at least half. the other never really did that great and sadly looks to be the same weight she was when she had it done in 2011. My friend paula had the band a year before me and last year had her band removed and got the sleeve. She had re flux... she loves the sleeve. Christine, Me and Paula's gf had our band done the same day. Chris and Mia both lost over 60lbs and has kept it off... and me. Gina got her band a year after me and has kept it off. Not Mica, lost over 200 and had gained a bunch back due to a back injury and steroid injections.. This is what i can say about the band: yes there is maintenance, fills and such. But, i loved it because it gave me time to adjust my eating... Learn great portion control. my band keeps me in check. Yes if i eat too fast or don't chew good enough i "uneat".. Aka throw up... but, that's my fault. My suggestion is too go to some seminars.... talk to people who have had... ALL three... talk to your dr and come to an agreement on what you both think is best.

I stuff mine with either chicken or tuna salad.

Best way to make coffee.... Which i drink all day... one or two ways. Best way... step one... get dressed, two..get in car, three... drive to starbucks, four... order a tall white chocolate mocha Hot... Done. second best way... get to work and wait till co worker makes the coffee... done

So yes.... i have been on this forum for the past 6 years and have posted on a many of things. I have a question.... How many of you have lost the weight, got in shape only to have your spouse now not be interested in you...?? We have been married for almost 25 years. The first 5 i was thin.... then gained weight gradually through out the years. The last 5 have been what i would call "normal" size. Years before the weight loss we didn't have sex maybe a few times a year. I was kind of ok with that.... I blamed my weight and my lack of interest on my size. He assured me that it was not my size. He got tested for Low T and sure nuff... he now takes Testosterone shots every other week (gives himself RX). This was about the time i started losing weight and things got better. We were having sex a few times a month. At this time he also started working out, tanning, eating right, "grooming".... lol. It was great. I also, happen to think he may have started an affair with an ex GF. I intercepted a text message between them that he would not let me see.... plus i just had the gut feeling. anyway, she and her husband got divorced and she moved..... low and behold he stop EVERY thing... and our sex life went back into the crapper. Now, im 47 and something clicked in my hormones that has made me a raging Nympho... I wake up thinking about sex.... during the day im thinking about it and at night.... it has to be how a 18 year old boy feels. But i can't get him to have sex with me.... on the 8th it will be 4 months since the last time and that only lasted 10 min... if that. anyone else experience this?

I got my band nov 10, 2009.... So I think nob is a great month. Wish you all the luck

It's wasnt till fill 6 I think before I re felt it.

@@McButterpants I think most of us have falling off the wagon. Im so glad you have a good support system. I would so love to join a Yoga class... I know you can do it... and im glad the pills are helping you get back on track. I say, what ever it takes to achieve your goals. I have found myself at a stand still. I have to lose it slow as to now draw attention from my husband. if i lose it too fast he starts griping that im too skinny.... funny because when we met i was not even 100lbs.... So i lose a pound here and there. My 8's can now come off with out button or zipping... whoop. i have resolved to make 2016 a better happier year. few things i did: Set small goals and when i achieved them..I rewarded myself not with food, but other things like.. going to the salon and getting my toes polished. I also wrote on my mirror with a dry erase marker positive thoughts and quotes. Remember:.... Today your not as thin as you want to be, but your not as fat as you were....

So i read all the post, some positive some not... But, none the less... we are all here and for our on personal reasons we had some type of WLS. I would venture to say that we ALL used diet pills at one time or the other... So you won't hear me judging you on that. If your dr says this may be what you need and you take as prescribed... then do what your gut tells you. The past few years have been hard. I got my band in 2009. Ups and downs.. of course. My lowest weight was 143, today 145... but i had gotten back to 160 for a while and was miserable. So I... Me... sat down and thought... what the hell was wrong with me... Was i going to be one of "those" people that have WLS and gain the weight back? Are was i going to take my life back again... so i did... I looked at the things i had done over the years that helped me get to the 143... I worked out, i watched my diet, i had a positive outlook. I became an inspiration to other that made me what to do better...... What led to my gain.... I stopped working out, started eating things i should not be eating... and i let my husband dictate too much in my life. He stopped paying for gym, criticizing me, telling me i was too thin... Etc. So this past August...i said.... NO MORE. i'm going to make me happy again.... and i did i put aside the bad foods again and started taking the stairs... walking more (he still won't pay for gym, but im rejoining anyway)... and just having a more positive outlook about me (so im not 130.. but, im not 230 either). I can't change others.. Just me. @@McButterpants Observation: your profile says you started at 255 and are around 180ish now... ok that's 75ish pounds lost. That is amazing. I also saw that in you past post you were running and exercising, but the last yearish post has nothing.... Are you still exercising? Are you still watching your food and what KIND of food? How are you feeling about your self? What can you do today, one thing, to make a more positive change? Not saying that what i did was the end all be all... but, sometimes we all need to look at ourselves and take inventory... weed out the bad.. and take in the good. Wishing you all the luck....

Thank you all....

Just wanted to share a little something the happened last Monday..... My husband has a friend Juan... grew up together, went to school together and if we would happen to meet up with him, say in a store or night club... he would hang around and party with us.... He would comment on my FB post.. never anything inappropriate.. but he was a frequent poster. My husband made a comment a few time... I see Juan liked you pic again...I think he wants you. OMG.. Here we go again. fast forward... Monday Juan (54, same as my husband) died of a massive heart attack. Now this guy was in shape, gym guy... So i called my husband and said... OMG Juan passed away today....... He said..... Hummmm Sorry you lost one of your admirers.... I said... are you f**king kidding me. You lost a childhood friend and thats all you can say. I told him... ill talk to you when you get home... and hung up...

Excellent advice. Would a lawyer be able to Help me?

@@Sharon1964 WOW Sharon, you have done an amazing job in just 4 short months. can you picture yourself in a year.... can we say HOTTTT MAMA... I hope you are documenting your progress with pictures. Keep up the great work

@@glitter eyes thank you... i appreciate your kind words..... It's a matter of pulling the trigger

@@More than this OMG... i was just on the phone with a friend and was telling him that exact statement..... that it's like i don't exist. We hardly interact at all.... Normally one text in the am, a call at 11, and a text at 4 letting me know he is on his way home. Yesterdays interaction: he woke up, played on computer, showered, dressed, came told me bye... Worked from 7-4, then went shoot pictures at a locale high school (basketball), home, a Peck hello, into his office to send in pictures, he set in his chair with supper, watched tv till he fell asleep... The end. On night he has no shoot: all the same except, comes home after work, grabs his airgun, sit in back yard till dark, sits in chair with supper till he falls asleep.... I get a peck in the am, and one when he gets home.... that's it.

I read every post and i must say..... Thanks to you all, you have give some great advice and i will be using some of it. He and i have had talks about our situation multiple times.... I know he is waiting on me to pull the trigger so he can say... See, she left me. and it's about money too... Louisiana is a No fault state also. I have looked it my rights. He and i started off together with nothing so everything we have would have to be split 50/50. On some positive note: we only our our mortgage, living expenses and a few credit cards... I am better off than a lot of people. I have one child from my 1st marriage and we have one that's 24 years old. so no worries there. I have started doing more without him. In the past i would have been invited to go with girl friends places and would have said NO.... But, no more. Yesterday i went to the Saints game with a GF .... He pouted, but he's a big boy, he'll get over it. You guys are great.... thanks for taking the time to reply and all but one... (you know who you are)... has been very helpful.