thingirltrapped

I have been overweight most of my life.  I can remember starting to be made fun of in the second grade.  That was the point of my parent's divorce.  I changed school by third grade and can vividly remember the sick feeling I had for days before  we had a Health project due. We had to lay down and have the outline of our bodies traced and then put our weight,etc. on our poster and hang it in the hall for everyone to see.  I was terrified, trying to find a way around it, to miss school so I didn't have to go through that.  I was the biggest in the class.  I was so ashamed and embarassed. Thirty years later, I still remember it.  The rest is history.I have tried all kinds of diet plans.  I am a very emotional eater.  I am addicted to food, there is no doubt.  It comforts me when no one else can.  Finally a friend told  me of a girl she worked with that had the band placed and I began to look into it.  I knew with two children I didn't want gastric bypass.  It was just too risky and I didn't want anything of mine "re-routed".  I was fortunate that I have great insurance that covered it all.  If not, I had decided to take out a  loan if needed.  "This is my life I'm talking about and I'd find a way."  My husband has always been a wonderful support, loving me at every size from the 238 when we met to the 324 at time of surgery (and that wasn't even my heavest).  I feel I can tell him anything, except my weight.  Someday I'll get there.I started off strong after surgery, 40 pounds gone before you know it, in just about 2 1/2 months. Then, a terrible family situation arose and it has been a battle ever since with that ongoing problem.  I was down by 75 the first year and now have gained back 30 the last 15 months.  The emotional eating has once again taken over.  I struggle alot with exercise.  Once I get off track with my eating it is REALLY hard to get back on the wagon.  But I recently have, about 1 1/2 weeks now and I'm down 10 pounds and feeling hopeful.  I have just found this site as well as Lapband.com and am making the most of both.  There has been a thin girl trapped inside for over 30 years who's dying to escape and live again.  I welcome any advice, especially from those struggling such as myself.