BJean

Sunta: I hear you. I know you can certainly be correct. But if Anna Nicole's mother had a lot of love for her daughter, instead of displaying so much scorn for her behavior she would be talking about her love and that perhaps her daughter was misunderstood, etc., instead of being so concerned about the dispensation of Anna Nicole's money and gloating over the fact that she was right about Anna's drug use. Anna Nicole was into some drugs before she ever met Stern. The fact that she did trust him and did feel that he was looking out for her, tells me that at some point he had to have proved his loyalty to her and it makes me want to give him a fair shot at proving that his love and concern for her was legitimate. The way he spoke about her family sounded to me like a person who was upset with them about how they treated Anna Nicole when she was alive and like he is still protecting her from their meanness and greed. Quite a contrast to how Anna Nicole's mother is behaving. It has all been filtered through the media though, so it's anyone's guess at this point. It seems that maybe our own experiences are having a big impact on how we are interpreting the remarks and body language of her family, friends and Stern. I know it is seedy and scandelous to some people, but I believe it is always interesting to witness and try to understand human behavior.

Sue: You can't get a fill because you're losing too well?

OUSooner: WELL SAID!!!

P.S. That Anna Nicole's mother is speaking about Anna's money and who gets it, immediately after her death, speaks volumes to me.

Sunta: I agree that Stern should be held accountable. But a lot of women I know have been hurt terribly by an abusive PARENT or sibling. When they find someone to protect them, the protector wants to spare the hurt one from any further pain. They try to shield them from phone calls and other contact because they see the pain and have to deal with the aftermath of one of those phone calls. One of my sisters could reduce me to rubble with a phone call like that. My husband wanted to protect me because he loved me. He would run interference by intercepting a phone call for which I was always grateful. I admit I didn't see the Larry King show, but I have vowed to myself to not jump to any conclusions. The only information we have now is what the media has chosen to give us. Many times we learn that the truth is something quite different from how it is portrayed initially. We probably all agree that an in-depth investigation is in order.

TOM: I knew Ron was totally wrong on the black crime stats, but I have no stats at my fingertips to disprove it and so I decided to let it go and hope everyone knew better. I am thrilled that you posted even though it might have gone against your wife's wishes. I am very sorry for your losses. It always makes you wonder when things happen all at once sometimes. I do hope your DW is feeling better already. I am sure she is anxious to be with her mother. Please know that we are thinking of you and wishing you the very best. Thanks again for your post~!

And a truly sad twist will be if Howard Stern really did have something to do with her death. The one constant in her life that she relied on. I know that people with a drug problem can become totally reliant on their supplier and will take almost any abuse the supplier dishes out just so they have a ready supply of their drug of choice. We have a friend whose husband beat her, threw her out of a second story window, cursed her and slapped her in front of their children and she always kept him in her life. No one understood until he got sent to prison for 40 years for drug trafficking. In no time, she found a guy to fill her husband's shoes and the same behavior began all over again. I think her drug of choice is methamphetimines according to her physical appearance.

People come out of the woodwork because they want to be on TV. The audience tends to believe them because it is exciting and titillating. We want to believe that we are much better off than anyone who has trouble in their lives. Especially if they are financially better off and more famous than we are. Her mother said that she never gave the family any money. "Vickie" stayed away from her family and left home at an early age (which her mother was thankful for since she didn't want the embarrassment of having her in the same town), so anything that her family or former childhood friends have to say at this point is sour grapes as far as I'm concerned. And even worse, it is adding insult to the injury they have already caused to Anna.

Ron: If you really do not expect laurend to compromise her current morals by accepting your interpretation of the Bible, why are you arguing with her?

Katie: I too have noticed that most of us are hitting a plateau right now. I am very impressed with your progress though! I was pretty happy with mine before this plateau too, although I have lost quite a bit less than you. I know that I need a fill. I was scheduled to get one today, but we are going out of town this week and I am afraid to get an adjustment without having the ability to get an unfill should I need one. So I'm waiting another week. I have found that with the last fill, I have had to slow down quite a bit when I eat. That's a start in changing my eating behavior. But although I am not eating as much as before the band, I am still eating too much. I've finally decided that for me, quantity is the most important issue. Yes, I'm a sweet freak, but if I could go back to having them like I did when I was slim, I would still be slim. There's a lot to learn on this journey and having each other here to bounce things off of really helps. Anybody else losing hair? I have started losing it and have been having nightmares about becoming bald! My dietician says I am not eating enough protein and that I have to go back to having a protein shake every day. I had started having pasta sometimes instead of meat for dinner, and stopped having eggs in the morning and started having a nutritious but low protein oatmeal/cranberry/almond cereal. It's just not enough protein to keep me from losing my hair and now I have to struggle to get it to start growing back in! I thought I had gotten through past that pothole, dang it. I'm sharing this so that you'll be more careful than I have been with the protein intake.

P.S. I feel that I need to add that when we were first married and struggling to find a way to make our marriage work, he was bahaving the way his father did by trying to be the dominate one in the marriage. I was behaving as my mother did and treated him like he was more important than I. When we realized after two years that we were both very unhappy in our marriage, we consulted a psychologist and learned some very interesting things. First we realized that he was having to carry the weight of the world by making all of the important decisions and being the breadwinner, with the responsibility for all of us squarely on his shoulders 24/7. Second, I was feeling like I had no voice in anything of any importance and that I was totally a second-class citizen in our household. I wondered if HIS life was the only important one. I realized that this was MY LIFE TOO and that everything that happened to him had a direct impact on me. We also talked about that in both of our parents' traditional marriages where the husband made most of the decisions, the husband and wife grew to resent each other over the years and they became hateful toward each other much of the time. We sure didn't want to live the rest of our lives resenting each other and feeling trapped. With lots of reading and a serious willingness to make some changes, we evolved from following in our parents' footsteps to sharing everything with each other and discussing and understanding every aspect of our relationship and our household. It was not easy. It took quite a bit of effort, but we knew we were worth it as individuals and as a couple.

My husband and I are opposites too. We have learned that when something is very important to one of us and not so important to the other (and that is almost 100% the case) the one who doesn't feel it is as important makes the compromise. In my house, my husband is the primary breadwinner. That gives his voice more weight when a decision involves his job (as in where we live) because it has a direct impact on how he does his job, but he still does not make those decisions without my input. When we first got married, he used to tell me that if I were smart I would use my female-ness to manipulate him. I always told him that in my eyes, that would be unfair and I would never be comfortable doing that. Instead we talk through everything. Our families always thought we analyzed things too much. But that's the way we make decisions and that is the path we've taken that allows both of us to feel we are equal in this marriage. As for male/female roles in their marriages, our DD and DS both have completely equal partnerships. While I tend to take care of most domestic things in our home, with my DH doing the usual man things like the yard, cars, etc., our kids don't make even that distinction in their marital roles. They do everything as a team, from the laundry and meals to the yard and cars and raising the kids. I like their way better than ours, but since our approach has worked so well for so long, I won't tamper with a good thing.

Wheetsin: I really loved your story and that you shared it with us. Your grandfather must have been a really wonderful man and he, fortunately, was able to have you in his life too.

I've always thought that the cool thing about murder with knives versus guns is that it takes a whole lot more time and effort to kill someone with a knife than with a loaded pistol. Maybe someone will have time to reconsider the notion of killing someone with a knife.

I'm like most of you too. I was the youngest in the family, never babysat except once which cured me from the whole idea of babysitting, and unruly kids drove me batty. I'm also like Green's mom, although I never liked other people's kids, I sure love my own like there's no tomorrow. I only had two kids. I love them both completely but differently. Each of them has different traits and good qualities. They both have some things that I wish were a little different. I enjoy being with them one on one and hearing all their innermost thoughts and feelings. The best time for me though is when I have all my "chicks in one basket", my babies, their spouses and their babies. It's amazing when we're all together.

Lisa: I think you're very smart. I was one of those people who had a child for all the wrong reasons. It was very stupid and I regretted it, big time. I love my DS of course, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I should not have made the decision for the reasons that I did.

Karey: My nutritionist says the same thing to me about working on life habits and says that is one reason why we shouldn't be so impatient. I try to keep that in mind but after having a good initial weight loss and then going to practically nothing for so many weeks is very difficult. You're doing really great! Way to go!

Amen! Considering all of the consequences when deciding to have children is something many people also fail to do. That is selfish as well as stupid.

Sunta, thanks! You did a much better job of saying how I feel than I have been able to.

Wow, grrl~that sux (Anna Nicole spelled sucks that way). I don't know exactly why you're wide awake at 3 AM, but I was having a terrible time with that for several years. I finally found out that a hormone was causing it. It happened anytime I ate dessert or other high carb food after about noon. They told me that my cortisol was too high and that unless I got it straightened out, I would be compromising my immune system. I apologize if yours has nothing to do with this, and I'm boring the socks (sox) off of you, but I thought, just in case.....

Another week of 0 lbs. lost. I did 2 one hour water aerobics classes last week though. Even though I had no weight loss, I went shopping and found that I am very close to being able to wear a 14 Petite! My long-term goal is to be able to wear an 8 Petite. That I can fit into a regular petite at all (although too tight for being seen in public yet) is amazing to me. From a size 20. I am only 5'1.5" so from 179 now, I still have quite a way to go, but this is the first time I've gone shopping in many years and not been trying to find something in a size 20 Short. I am getting a fill tomorrow. By the way, the dietician told me I had on heavy clothes last week. LOL I didn't put rocks in my pockets, but I had on 2 sweaters and jeans, and all the jewelry I could get on. She still said I was down half a pound on her scale. Go figure.

Renee: Please keep us posted. We're concerned and would like to know what you've found out and if you're okay.

Yes, gadgetlady, that's just what they're doing. You've been fortunate enough not to be exposed to a church that would do that. I unfortunately have not.

Canadians: low key - attractive.

Ron I think you meant to direct your response to Green. I don't believe that you can sum people up based purely on what they claim to be. Doesn't matter if they're Christians or atheists. Some people make a big fuss telling everyone that they are a Christian person. They go so far as to say that their business is a Christian Based business. They make sure that when they perform a service for someone, that the customer knows that they are a Christian. When I come into contact with one of those people I know to watch out! The most recent guy is the builder who built my DD's home. He is a pillar of his Church. Active as much as any member could be. Sits on councils, etc. He made sure that when my DD and her husband sat down to discuss him building their home, that they knew that he was a Christian and that he employed Christian subcontractors. He managed to rip them off royally. Their windows leak, their electric bill was $700 last month because he didn't seal the home properly. He didn't install the gas lines. And I could go on. During the construction, one of his subs came and stole their specially ordered copper kitchen sink. He was caught in the act and we found out that he hadn't been out of prison long. So all I am saying, is that when someone boasts about his Christianity too loudly, it makes me very nervous and I am very guarded around them. I won't even mention the president at this point.