BJean

Hey ya'll my knees are improving most of the time. I actually bought a recumbunt bike and before work this morning I did 35 minutes! That's a pretty big deal for me since I'm coming from injured knees and a realm of couch potato-dom for over a year. Now if I can just keep this up!!

Monk that's exactly what I've always told myself. What possible good could come of me dredging up old junk that has absolutely no bearing on my life or happiness today? My DH feels the same way. His parents were pretty cruel to him and his dad physically abused him sometimes, and it makes me mad to think of it, but he says what I believe is true... they did the best they could at the time. Parents aren't perfect just because we grow up thinking they know everything and are brilliant. They're just people who are imperfect and make poor decisions sometimes. Now that I am an adult, I definitely understand that age doesn't always bring wisdom. I would love to read any of your son's poetry that you would like to share.

I really do worry about the pornography and violence that our children are subjected to constantly. Even advertisments on television are often in extremely poor taste and too graphic for children. I really do wonder what the long term effects will be on future generations.

Monk, I am incredibly touched by both your story and your son's poetry. It is amazing! I am so glad you shared it with us. Your boys must be wonderful young men and I know you are proud of them. Does he write other poetry? What beautiful, meaningful thoughts and words! I couldn't help but shed a tear or two while I read your story too. I know I have repressed memories that I just can't bare to recall, and yet I sometimes feel I should. I had a endrocinologist once tell me that every overweight patient he had ever treated had been sexually abused. I always tend to doubt people who speak in absolutes, besides I was his patient and I had never told him that I had been abused, so his statement certainly seemed suspect. I have never thought I was sexually abused, but I do have some troubling memories from time to time that try to creep into my conscious thoughts. I remember all the stuff surrounding the Rosanne Barr claims of sexual abuse and how many psychologists at that time were "helping" patients by helping them embellish some of their memories. I feel like I'm way too old to be worrying about it, but I seem to also have the need to avoid the scale because if I find that I've lost, I tend to eat until it's back. That is something that is impossible for me to figure out!

Do you think that universal health care in Cuba is a barometer by which to judge all universal health care systems?

I'm at 180, for a 2 lb. loss for last week. (Those are the same two pounds I lost before, dang it!) lisa great going! You too MimIn and karey!

Marimaru: I think she was too shocked to do anything proactive. She definitely felt violated and not ony by the doctor, but also his wife! sharon2u: What a great thing for your DH to take you over to confront his sibs about their comments! That riding lawn mower remark was not just tactless, it could have been destructive to your relationship with your husband! What a ninny she must be. And that's the nicest term I can think of right now!

Wow gadget, that's an amazing statistic. I'm no fan of pornography, but I wonder how many cases have been documented (where the perpetrator was proven to be involved in pornography) out of all of the cases of sexual violence that have been committed? That might be a very relevant statistic to add to the equation, if we honestly want to know for sure if all perpetrators of sexual violence are influenced by porn. There are always two sides to an argument and frankly, I would be happy to have the data that proves, unequivocally, that porn causes sexual violence. I would also like for it to be proven without a doubt that movies and video games that depict gun violence, cause people to go off the deep end and commit gun crimes. Wouldn't you?

Recently I've seen that 3 Quiznos have gone out of business in my area. I can't undertand it. I think their food has always been better than Sub-Way, although Sub-Way's food is pretty good. I just can't eat sandwiches anymore, so I haven't been to either place in a long time. However the tuna salad mentioned above makes me wish I had a Quizno's near me!:hungry:

P.S. I have absolutely no problem with Lucy's characterization of someone who absolutely doesn't give a damn about other Americans' lack of health care. Call me any name you'd like. That doesn't change who you are Derrick.

Is someone here actually saying that the universal health care system in other countries is inferior to the health care in the U.S. and they know this because they experienced problems with universal health care in.... let me get this straight... CUBA???? You're kidding, right?

Those tip jars make me very uncomfortable. Especially when I am essentially waiting on myself by standing in line to order and sometimes then again to pay at the register. The first time I came in contact with the tip jar near a register was in Montreal. They were everywhere! I was not a native and I wasn't sure what would happen if I didn't tip. I didn't know if everyone USUALLY tipped or if it was simply something discretionery for them doing something extra for you. Starbucks was the first in my area to put out the tip jar. That was pretty shocking to me because I knew they were making (at that time anyway) minimum wage - not the $2.10 that most waiters were making. Plus, I was paying a whole lot more for a cup of coffee than at any other restaurant or bistro, and I was essentially waiting on myself. Then to add insult to injury, when they opened all their drive-thrus, here came the tip cup out on the ledge. Amazing!! I'm still conflicted, but I've become used to it and now if I get back change, I toss the change in the jar. Very seldom is the same person at the window so it doesn't matter that I like my coffee a certain way - I get it however the barista makes it on that particular day. When they burn it, I always regret the tip I left. In restaurants, I'm so used to my husband taking care of the bill, I feel awkward paying the bill. I have been known to grossly undertip, accidentally, and I've been known to way over tip, also accidentally. I've noticed that when the attractive waitress is especially attentive to my husband, he is a really big tipper. I feel pretty ignored sometimes by these little lovelies. So when we get a gorgeous young strapping hansome stud waiting on us, I usually manage to get a little conversation going with him. (I always need help with the choices on the menu, etc.) The DH finally gets it. When I'm out with the girls, the wealthiest women are the worst tippers, without fail!!! The ones who have been waitstaff, are great tippers. There has been so much media attention about how certain people are good or bad tippers, I always make certain that as women, we leave a good tip. This is one more place where the rules were bent to suit the businesses and we get the shaft. Tips used to be to reward good service. How do you all feel about tipping your hairdresser, shampoo person, etc.? Does it make a difference if she/he owns the salon? When you pay mega bucks to get your hair done, it seems ridiculous to add on a tip, especially if the hairdresser is the owner, but I'm probably out of step on this. I do go ahead and tip, but I often do not tip 20%. On a bill of $250, for instance, I usually tip $20. So far, no one has made my hair purple, but I may have just been lucky.

Yeah, thanks for the thread and the web addresses! And the Matrix info. I haven't seen it. I'll try the big nutrition store near me. Where did you get the Chinese vegetables? From a restaurant or frozen or what? Or do you fix them yourself? I guess I'm hijacking a little, but I'm desperately trying to figure out a new plan for myself. Thanks Bubble.

Green it really doesn't have to be at that much of an angle. We've used a big 2 X 4 and that certainly worked, but we've used bricks that are smaller and they have worked too. Of course if you get jiggy with the bricks under you, the bed has a tendancy to fall off the bricks. The most important factor is that your body is at a gradual slant from toe to head. Bending at the middle isn't good. In other words, just raising your head doesn't do the trick. My husband pooh-pooh'd it for years until I was so bad that I wasn't doing much sleeping in our bed because I was so uncomfortable. Finally after I showed him another article in a medical mag, he did the 2 X 4 thing and I improved a little each night until I forgot I had the hiatal hernia and acid reflux. Your husband might be thrilled with the results. It isn't an overnight cure, but it doesn't take long to start realizing the results. Tell him I said that he's not getting much blood to the brain anyway because it's diverted to the area of his esophogus where it's irritated. :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :) :heh:

Katt: I grew up in Oklahoma and I thought I knew every little town. Where's Talala? It does sound familiar, but I can't place it. I've been gone for about 30 years, and I guess I've forgotten. My dad ran for office a couple of times and we toured all the towns putting out signs, fliers and meeting and greeting. No, he never won until he was elected to the "Silver Haired Legislature." I knew ya'll were having lots of rain but I didn't know it was that much worse than here in north central Texas. It can be humid enough in the summer in Oklahoma without 36 days straight of rain! We've been lucky down here, for the most part. We've been drying up year after year to the point of many of the lakes not being navigable. They even had to shut some of them down to boaters. Recently they had to shut some of them down because the Water was too high! But our little lake is a private one with a spillway and although the water has become murky, it's been great for our lake and the golf course which usually burns up every summer. The rains have really slowed down here and I hope they are for you too.

As David Letterman would say, "heeeere kitty, kitty, kitty......."

katt: You know from what I've been reading over and over here, I'm beginning to think that having too much fill is worse than not having enough. I am beginning to realize that when I have too much, I can't eat decent food, I'm hungry and I wind up eating all the wrong stuff. Then I feel lousy about my lack of resolve and hate myself for being so out of control. When I have less restriction, I can eat better protein which stays with me longer and keeps me from getting so hungry. Anyone else think that having a bit too much restriction is worse than having too little? We need to figure this thing out.

I agree, Monk. It is wonderful that you've turned something really horrible that happened to you into something really great that you're doing for others. Most people don't have that kind of strength and kindness. Good for you!!

Holey Moley Bubble!!! You eat 600 calories a day and work out hard cardio for an hour??? No wonder you have lost so much!! My goodness. I wish I were able to do that and lose all this so fast, but don't you worry about not getting enough Protein to protect your heart muscle? My doctor said that we Americans just eat way too much food. He said that we should think of the little Japanese working people who exist on about 2 handfuls of rice a day. They don't get all the cancers and other diseases we get and they live a long life. Sounds like I need to listen to you and my doc.

Green, that's interesting about male cats being better pets. I've always had girls because I heard that males sometimes go around spraying the walls and stuff. Now that I think about it, our female cats were sometimes driven to tinkle somewhere other than the litter box if it was the least bit dirty. So there was no gain with girls in that regard , I guess. I had a female Siamese cat once when I was single and living in a studio apartment. She would wait on the kitchen counter and jump on whoever walked past her. She had not been declawed in any way and it usually drew blood. I had a boyfriend who was afraid to come to my apartment. For some reason she liked to jump on his pants leg and slide down his leg, scratching all the way. Wreaked havoc on my love life! :rolleyes

lorna, if my mom had same something like that to my sisters and me, we would have announced in just as loud a voice, "Yeah, and there's the mother that taught us everything we know." :heh:

Green I know I'm always popping in (and off) with advice and that must be pretty boring. But I have to concur with Gail regarding the pillows. If you prop yourself to a practically sitting position, it can work, but usually you wind up sliding down on one side or other and not truly having the head above the feet that you need. You need to be at a true slant, although it doesn't have to be so deep a slant that during your sleep you wind up falling off the foot of your bed. With acid reflux, the very best solution - and one that can change your life, big time - is to do what Gail suggested and raise the head of your bed. It is really the only long term answer, except of course for some drugs. I had to do the drugs and they didn't do as much for me as raising the head of our bed. Anyone who tells you that you can do it with pillows doesn't know what they're talking about. This from a woman who spent many a night sleeping sitting up in a recliner until the reflux calmed down. I don't blame you if you brush off the suggestion because I talk so much, but you can definitely trust me on this one. It's very important that you do it and get some relief. Btw, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that smoking really contributes to acid reflux. I see that your doc has told you about alcohol. What about chocolate? Yup that can too. The good news is that once you get it healed up nicely and learn what makes it worse, it isn't too difficult to take care of at all. Did your doc give you Prevacid or Prilosec? Very happy about your NSV with the restaurant prissy pot owner! Do the natives of Toronto treat fat people with as much disdain as the natives do in Montreal?

What's the matter, didn't your children's momma use birth control?

You know what Lee? You ARE VERY SPECIAL! Many, many people are not strong enough to overcome that kind of background of family eating. I know how it feels to be the smallest at one of those food fests. I used to be the little one and the one everyone thought that "she's too good" to enjoy the ribs, the steak, the burgers, the hot dogs, the potato salad, the baked Beans, the fluffy rolls, the mayonaise, the chips, several cakes, the many kinds of Cookies, the homemade ice cream. Did I mention salad? No... not unless it was surrounded by Jello or marshmallows, or heavy creamy dressing, but once in a while we had watermelon - but in massive quantities. I grew up thinking that I was the lucky one. I had been able to maintain my childhood weight at around 105 to 115 lbs. Even after I had my first child (I only gained 18 lbs. duing that pregnancy) Then I had my second child and gained 50 lbs. I finally got off all the weight and hovered around 110. Then I turned 40. And I found myself eating more and more at the family barbeques, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. I was no longer uncomfortable eating and drinking at sophisticated social events either. I'd hit the canape tray with a vengence. And anticipated what was offered for dessert. The next time I realized what had happened, I weighed 150 lbs. Depression set in after I tried every diet in the book. I joined spas, bought exercise tapes and did them a couple of times before I lost interest or the will to move around. I took pills, I took shots, and I got fatter... I took more pills, more shots and although I'd lose weight from time to time, down to about 130, I'd regain the weight and I would gain even more before I'd settle in and be able to buy new clothes to fit the new set point weight. Then I'd get depressed and go on another diet binge, even doing the extreme Optifast diet for 6 weeks. But only to regain that lost weight and more... on and on until I was at an extremely uncomfortable, unhealthy and depressing 220 lbs. - and I'm 5'1.5" in height with a very small bone structure. Now I had become the mother who hosted the barbeques! I made the fabulous Desserts. I did the planning, shopping and preparing all the delicious foods for the rest of the family. I had become the ring leader, just like my mother before me. I over ate. I binge drank alcohol at parties and lost the day after to horrible hangovers and depression from knowing I'd probably made an ass of myself at the party. I knew I had become embarrassing for my children to present as their parent. I was more depressed than ever. Enter (trumpets) the BAND. The first 4 months were fantastic. I felt better than I had felt for many years. I wasn't hungry!!!! I didn't crave junk food!!!! I was so incredibly happy that I didn't go on the constant hunt for something yummy to eat. I was thrilled to have lost 40 lbs. so quickly. Then something happened. I started getting fills every 3 weeks. I couldn't seem to find the right "sweet spot" that I had enjoyed for the first 4 months. I've found myself slipping back into my old mindset of wondering what great tasting thing can I cook for dinner and when can we have a barbeque!!! I'd like to think that it's psychological and that I can get over it and get on with making myself healthy and fit. However I can't help but wonder if there is some physiological or genetic part of me that I need to break the code to. I know exercise helps with that, but I am just pretty sure that it is even more complicated than that. I'm not hopeless. I am still determined to get over this "hump" and break free of the family ties that tend to bind me. One of the things I didn't realize would be difficult is that the family is so used to me bringing all the "good" stuff home for dinner, I hate to let them down. But let's face it, our parents didn't do us any favors. And I'm not doing my family or me any favors either! I have to respect myself enough to give up that vicious cycle and think of my health first. I am sure that my family will respect me much more in the long run. Probably the smartest thing we can ever do is to steer clear of those family food fests!! You seem to have broken the code and you have my total and complete respect!

Bubble I know nothing about Kevin Trudeau; haven't read those books, although I've wondered about them. I am curious... is there any element of truth to what he claims about drugs, etc., or do you think everything he says is an "urban legend?" I've seen things posted about people's continued difficulty to lose weight, even after being banded, and they mention several drugs as being inhibitors to weight loss. Like certain BP meds and HRT drugs. I take Wellbrutrin, Lisinopril, and estradiol. I've wondered a lot about stopping them as soon as I am able to get most of the rest of this weight off. But I am stalled at a 40 lb. loss. You've had great success, losing over 80 lbs! I know you've talked about PB'ing and all that. Is there a particular thing that you think has helped you on your path to goal? Do you take any of these drugs?