BJean

Ms. NYC: Sometimes I eat because I CAN. It's a control thing. No one can tell me what I have to eat or can't eat. It's something that I and I alone control. And SCREW THEM!!! Now after struggling for years and after having gone through so much - so many diets, psychological counseling, nutritional counseling, starvation, medications, shots, and now the lap band, I think all these psychological issues we're talking about here are as a result of our obesity, not the other way around. I think that we "catch" the condition of overeating, just like anorexic people "catch" anorexia. We're spinning out of control just like the anorexic person. We're slowly killing ourselves, just like they are. But it's more due to pysiological reasons than psychological ones. And it's very, very complicated. The medical profession has a few clues, but no real understanding or knowledge of what's happening to us. They're getting closer, but the research is done on how to treat the symptom, not understanding the cure - just like so many other physical conditions and diseases. The money for them is in the treatment, not the cure! So I don't think we should beat ourselves up so much. I don't think we should blame others or even food for how we are. I wish I had a good answer to insert here, but I don't. I've had the band for a year and I am only about 35 lbs. lighter than when I started. I am seriously considering hypnotherapy because I have found myself eating sweets out of control again instead of the much more difficult to eat, nutritious food. I don't think we're fat because of how much we eat. I think we're fat because of what we eat. Even for those of us to believe we're just into massive a quantities instead of the wrong stuff, I think we're kidding ourselves. If we were only eating really nutritious foods, we would only be able to eat just so many veggies and complex carbs. I just don't think they would make us fat. We're fat because of our food choices brought on because we have a very complex and destructive psysiological condition. One that nobody really understands or has a clue how to cure.

I love this thread too! It goes a long way toward cheering me up. I get so disgusted with all the problems with eyesight, incontinence, forgetfulness, hair loss, spider veins, double chin, hanging bicepts, sagging boobs, did I mention forgetfullness? Well if I read that so many other wonderful people are able to make jokes about these age and weight related conditions, I figure I can laugh too. Har de freakin' har. :faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint::faint:

My DIL got a lower body lift at Christmas and she's looking fabulous! She has lost additional weight since the surgery but I don't know how much. I do know she doesn't eat much these days. She's also very young and I am sure that makes some difference as compared to someone who is in their late 40's and older. (Although I do not know that for a fact.) kareyquilts: The surgery and recovery are very lengthy (at least it was for DIL) and if you are wanting to participate in wedding planning and events as well as the new baby, you should remember how out of the loop you're going to be for 6 to 8 weeks. Personally though, I think 20 lbs. from goal is a decent weight to be for considering that surgery. However I'm no doctor, just lots of miles under my belt.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was told to take antibiotics pre-dentist. I thought it was just one of those run-of-the-mill instructions that we all got. ingyrob: They didn't tell us we would die if we got oral surgery - just that we COULD die if we got strep or other such-y like as that crud. Since you haven't posted in a while, I hope that isn't a bad sign.....:paranoid P.S. And remember, 60 is the new 50 - plenty of time to reap the rewards of plastic surgery! :heh:

Val- I was banded Sept. 11 '06, so it's been a year. I have had approximately 8 fills. I was at 3.2 in a 4. band and after the unfill, I have 2.6. I lost 40 lbs in the first 5 or 6 months. And it was easy! After that it has been: lose 3 to 5 lbs., gain 3 to 5 lbs. Until I finally stopped moving the bar on the scale at all. Then I gained a couple of pounds. That was the last straw. Plus the fact that I was so hungry and preoccupied with food all the time it was making me crazy!

I just read a quote elsewhere on the 'net. It said, "I know two things for sure. There is a God and I'm not Him." Green: I believe that the whole idea of transplanting an unwanted fertilized egg into someone else who desperately wants a baby, is asking for a whole lot of problems. And none of them minor problems. I'd hate to open up a discussion of that because it could get very volatile, but if it were offered as a choice and done voluntarily, I would probably be supportive of the idea. If it were mandatory and required by law, I would be completely and totally against it. I would like to add that although some people believe that adoption is the answer to every unwanted baby, I would say that adoptions sometime present some real horror stories of their own. So I feel that desisions like these: adoption, in vitro fertilization, transplanting fertilized eggs, abortion, etc., should all be made on a case by case basis by the people directly physically involved - NOT by the government or other biased individuals.

I'm "weighing" in on the "built like a brick shithouse" comment. From where I'm from, it is a huge compliment! And from the description of your height and weight at the time, I'm sure he must have been admiring your nifty curves. Guys really do like curves. I am sure there are a few who like skinny minnies, but for the most part, guys like to be able to tell their women are WOMEN. I've often said that the reason we have super-skinny models and the reason designers design clothes for the super-skinny form, is because many of the designers are gay and they really love the male body, which is straight up and down, not curvy.

You got that right!:tired<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off"> </TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Green: The reason this issue keeps rearing its' ugly head here, even though our laws are clear on this, is because this administration has appointed Supreme Court justices who are anti-choice. Consequently, the current laws can be changed. As you know, there are Americans who believe that they have the right to determine what all American woman do with regard to an unwanted pregnancy. They do not want to allow women the right to choose abortion. So the war, both here and abroad, rages on. You (and they) can thank our sitting president and his sidekicks for all of this.

The thing some people just don't understand is that in certain situations an abortion does not create a worse tradegy for the mother and baby than a pregnancy (and fetus) that is not terminated. I know how some of you feel about this. You want as many babies as possible to be brought into this world. And most of you say that you'll take the responsibility of any unwanted children and the responsibility for any woman whose life is endangered by a pregnancy - which for me includes both physical as well as mental reasons. But the sad fact is, you cannot provide for all of these children and mothers - nor is it your place to. In fact, your beliefs should not be the determining factor with regard to a woman and her fetus (or child, if you prefer). You should just continue to do the good work that you do in support of your beliefs and allow others to practice their own beliefs when it comes to this subject. No matter how much you wish it to be true, you have no right to tell others what to believe and to condemn them if they do not share your beliefs and practices. I honestly do understand how you feel about the abortion issue and unwanted babies. My heart does go out to you. I am sure you are tortured by the idea of babies being killed every day. Otherwise you wouldn't go to such extremes to make your point.

I just can't get around the fact that people pick up Hep C when they get tats. I don't know how you can trust them to sterilize like they're supposed to. I am sure there are some luxurious tattoo parlors (relic term) where you feel safe, but I dunno, it scares me. One thing I was told when I got the band is that the band is a prosthesis and if contract certain communicable diseases, like Strep for instance, it can settle in your prosthesis and you can get so sick it can kill you. I know a very healthy guy who got knee replacement and got Strep and it was the most miserable last 2 months of his life. I won't tell you what all he went through, but it scared the living hell out of me and it was unbelievably sad. That's why they tell us bandsters to take antibiotics when we go to the dentist, even for just a cleaning.

Green I appreciate your comments and suggestions very much. Thursday I finally agreed to an unfill. OMG!!! Thank goodness I finally did! It's been months of unrelenting hunger, PB's, coughing and misery. I guess I was so caught up in the idea of "the more restriction, the better" that I didn't realize how bad it all was. I had finally gained a few lbs and that was the thing that made me take action. The dietician and nurse had both lectured me about too much restriction. Finally Thursday the doctor showed me photos of an enlarged esophogus and he told me about the complications. He took me from 3.2 to 2.6 and I am doing unbelievably better. Now I can actually eat protein and veggies and I am not hungry all the time. In fact, I am not really hungry at all. Man if I have finally broken the code, I will be the happiest chubby chick alive! (Soon to be slender-ella.) It sounds like you are doing better and the drugs are holding out. You were great about keeping us posted... I just am still having computer problems. My machine is huge and has an enormous amount of memory - a better computer than the ones at our office. But I was getting a message telling me that it was short on memory and that Microsoft was beefing up the memory or something...nutz! Finally this morning I can type a word without it stopping and pausing for a couple of minutes. Is the discoloration fading yet? leedorr: The only thing I can suggest is for you to check on the amount of restriction you have. If it is too much, you can have those symptoms just as strongly as if you have too little. I didn't believe it but if you read my above message, you know it was definitely true for me. One thing we all need to remember is that the band is supposed to work FOR us, not AGAINST us. We shouldn't be starving all the time and obsessing about what we can eat and keep down, like I was. We should not be PB'ing if we are eating small bites and chewing well!!! I didn't notice but one night my husband watched me chew a small bite of salad (spring mix) and he counted 50 chews before I swallowed and I still had a problem. Now that's just wrong! We have to be able to eat nutritious food or the hunger will grow and grow over the months and then you'll find yourself eating soft things, like ice cream (the cold felt good) because you can eat it and not PB. Don't let it go on like I did. Make your band help you. I was definitely at the point where I was fighting the band instead of loving it. Take good care of yourself and don't think that PB'ing is the normal order of business when you have the band! <TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off"> </TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Kareyquilts: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! I remember when you told us your son was expecting his first. What a thrill! I am sure he is the cutest little thing on this earth. I am very happy for you all. I finally relented and had an un-fill. Wow. I can't believe it. I am no longer hungry constantly and on the prowl for something I can eat and keep down. The very day of the unfill (last Thursday) I was better. I can't believe I wasted so much time by not getting an unfill sooner! The doctor's surgical nurse and the dietician both tried to tell me but I just couldn't get it through my head that tigher doesn't mean quicker weight loss. In fact, it can mean the opposite! And the doc told me that I was just asking for trouble. He showed me pictures of an enlarged esophogus from a person who had too must restriction. I am a believer now!! We really should not be hungry all the time and we shouldn't be PB'ing all the time! I've already lost a pound and a half just since Thursday. I feel really dumb to have gone through all that for months!!! :phanvan

One thing I find interesting is that so many of the people who are ultra-conservative, like Hasselbeck, haven't figured out the damage they're doing. They are so abrasive and insistent on their beliefs being the law of the land, they are causing many mainstream people to want to join the fight for getting "under God" taken out of the Pledge and "In God We Trust" taken off our money. If they'd just shut their yaps up, things would be reasonable around here. No one wants religion crammed down their throats... be it Muslim or Christianity. And they sure don't want it to be the law of the land!!!!

Well Wheet, I agree almost wholeheartedly... but I must take issue with your comments about Geography. After all, we really must take into account that "I believe that osama...some people don't have maps. As such... Iraq and South Africa," etc.... :rolleyes

GREEN!!!!! I've been offline due to a computer malfunction for the past couple of weeks. I've been worrying and wondering how the hell you are! Thank goodness I didn't read about it until you got new drugs. Now I don't have to "feel your pain" as Billy would say. (Clinton) Just think hon, after a couple of weeks or 6, you'll forget all about the pain because you'll have so many hot guys jerking their heads around to get a better look at you when you're walking down the street! :rolleyes I am sorry the whole thing is physically so much worse then the mini, but surely that means that the results will be even more impressive. How long for the swelling and discoloration? I am jealous, I just can't help myslf. I went to the dietician last week and spent the entire hour crying!! (I tell you this story so that you will feel sorrier for me than for your on-the-road-to-recovery self.) I had gained a coupla lbs and she started telling me that over this past year she has observed that I am WAY too hard on myself. She thinks I have too much restriction because of that and she proceeded to ask me how I think I look. I told her I don't have a realistic picture of myself in my mind, because I can't actually believe that I've become an obese person... I still think of myself as a little person of 110 lbs. She proceeded to go make photocopies of my pre-surgery photo and my 6 month post-surgery photo and lay them out on the table in front of me. She pointed at the 6 month photo and said "That's where you are now." (it's been 1 yr. since the band) The rest of the session was me blubbering :cry and making stupid excuses for why I am eating ice cream instead of real food. Anyway, the point of this little tale is to tell you that besides my girth, a couple of the most frightening things I see in those photos (she told me I HAD to put them up on my wall to see everyday) are my eyelids and my chin. My eyelids look like I've been hit repeatedly by Mohammed Ali (not bruised, but so puffy my eyes are slits) and my chin has hangy down stuff creating horrible, junky jowls. So darlin, please don't regret what you've done. You've lost the weight, you've now had your face re-done and I'm still treading water after a year at the the six month mark. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!! :whoo: I'm very, very proud of you! I'll say a little prayer that you'll feel much better real soon. :kiss2:

Ahhh. You are my hero. I haven't been able to capture a true love slave. Well, truth be known I wouldn't know the first thing about using my love slave if I had one! Doh!

Sharon - that really is great! Doesn't it feel great?!

cathie: It makes no sense to me. If we were able to control our irregular eating, we wouldn't NEED WLS! I wonder if she sensed that you were in a bad mood or that you weren't particularly impressed with her and she decided that you had a bad attitude. Some people take advantage of others with their power. Of course I'm not accusing her of that since I do not know her. But from what you've said, it seems that maybe you could have been discriminated against. I really should shut the heck up. You're already feeling bad about her assessment. I don't need to make you feel worse. I was just wondering if you discussed the session with the shrink with your bariatic doctor? I also wonder why they shut some people out from WLS. Maybe there's a difference between overweight people who are depressed because they eat too much and those who use food as a replacement for healthy emotions. Does that even make sense? I do know there has to be a reason that many doctors require psychological testing. It protects them and the patient, no doubt. I wonder what is the downside if someone slips by the test that shouldn't have and goes ahead and has the surgery? Can anyone answer that for me?

lifelongband, WOW! You have every reason to be proud! Fantastic job and congratulations!

Sandra and The Ghost... wow, you can't imagine how much it means to me to read your posts. I can so identify!!! What a rollercoaster! I try to remember what the physiologist said to me when she weighed me and took my measurments when I had lost 35 lbs. and 35 inches. She said I had lost a small person. And she said that we people who struggle with weight are way too hard on ourselves. (I was apologizing because I hadn't lost more!) She says that we need to focus on our triumphs not our failures. Gosh that's hard to do. I've failed so miserably in the past and after so many failed diets, the disappointed and discouraged feelings have become a lifestyle. Very, very hard to break out of that mindset. And very, very hard to keep from eating those things that make us feel so darned good. (Even though it's temporary, it's a kind of high.) kareyquilts: You're such a sweetheart to remember my knees. I am thrilled that I can participate in physical exercise now. The trainer only sees me once a week, but she is kicking my butt. They wouldn't have been difficult exercises a few years ago and it's a little embarrassing that I can't do harder exercises for a longer period of time, but everything I do to improve my muscle tone and cardio is stuff I haven't been able to do for years. So thank you for your kind words and support! I really do appreciate it! I am so thrilled for your fabulous success! And you continue to help those of us who are struggling. You're a real winner!

crabcake: Wellbutrin works really well for me too. In fact, I've been on it for at least 3 years. I do worry that I'll never be able to get off of it and that maybe it's doing something screwy in my brain, but man, it's worth it. I am very curious too, cathie. I had to take a written psych evaluation. It was one of those tricky ones that cleverly keep you from being able to figure out how to answer so that you can make it turn out the way you want it to. I had no idea what I might answer that would keep me from getting the surgery. I finally decided that if I couldn't pass it while I'm on Wellbutrin, I'd never be able to. I still don't know what exactly they were looking for. Frankly, I figured the doc would want the money enough that he wouldn't turn me down. The shrink did a 2 hour interview too. We had a nice chat about all kinds of things and I didn't whip out my knife or gun or hit him with my shoe, so I guess I did okay. I don't mean to sound flip about something that is so serious, cathie. I guess I'm just a smartass. And I've only lost 40 lbs. in a year and another 40 lbs. hangs on my back like a beached whale. So I'm just trying to keep my sense of humor and keep on truckin'. If there's anything we can do to help you get over this hump, you know we will defnitely be there for you!

busywoman: I'm impressed with your sweet story - you have a nicely trained love slave. No wonder you're so busy! :bandit

Excellent point, Donna!

Wow laura, I just noticed the fine print at the bottom of your post. How'd you find out you have a leak? I am very sorry to hear it. You've done very well! Best wishes for a great outcome when you have the revision!!