ElfiePoo

Melzie, It's because most people hold the view that overweight people are "slobs, lazy, lack will power, stupid, don't care about themselves, etc." So they see no need for the WLS because, in their opinion, if we'd just 'show a little self-control', we'd lose the weight. They don't even attempt to 'walk a mile in our shoes'. I read an article once where they did a survey and asked people if they had to choose, would they rather lose an arm or leg...or keep the limb and be fat. The response was unsettling. An overwhelming majority said they'd rather lose an arm or leg than be fat. My husband did not understand why I would consider WLS but he went to the seminar with me and listened to me when i told him why I felt it was the best option. I think, also, he was quite relieved that I was interested in the band and not bypass. By the surgery date, he was on board and since the surgery date has done whatever I asked to help me be successful at this band. I worried more about his family because none of them have ever dealt with weight issues. I don't know what their private thoughts are but publicly they've been very supportive of me. So supportive that I would sometimes get a bit depressed this past year when I wasn't doing so well with this whole band thing because I felt like I was letting *them* down. In the end, you have to do this for you and not worry about what others think. *You* are the only person who knows what you deal with on a daily basis and only *you* know what is necessary. .

Whoa...don't apologize for focusing on the positive! That's a good thing and probably why you've been so successful! If we don't focus on the positive, it becomes too easy to give up! .

Call your doctor and tell them you need in sooner. If what you're feeling is actual hunger, then your band needs to be a bit tighter. .

LMS...I am glad the band worked this way for you, but it doesn't work that way for everyone. I know from personal experience (due to a recent complete unfill) that my band is adjusted properly because my physical hunger is gone...but even when I was *overfilled*, I still wanted all the things I couldn't have...and could still eat just as much as I could pre-band. I no longer deal with *constant* ravenous hunger (was reminded of this with my unfill), but I still *want* all the things I wanted before. The difference now is that, without the driving hunger to egg me on, my self-control stands a better chance at keeping me from giving into that *want*. Also, the band *does not* work for everyone. A common misconception I see on this forum is that "the band doesn't fail you...you fail the band." That's just not true. The band works by putting pressure on the vagus nerves which control the hunger hormone, ghrelin. Some people get enough pressure just by the band sitting on those nerves. Some need a small fill. Some will max out their band...and some will never have enough pressure. It's all based on the vagaries of our anatomy. According to my surgeon, there are quite a number of people *the band* fails. Just wanted to clear up some misconceptions and no offense intended. .

Very good advice, Cheri. I'm not a grazer but can sit down and eat enough for 3 people at one meal. I did a lot of research pre-band and had expectations that the band would keep me from this type of overeating. I spent the better part of a year 'waiting' for that 'sweet spot' everyone talked about. Even when I was so overfilled I was getting stuck on just about everything, I could still eat as much as I did before band. It was only after I had my fill removed that I realized what true hunger was (and what I dealt with constantly prior to the band) and that I had hit my 'sweet spot' (suppression of true hunger) but had bypassed it while believe the sweet spot was 'physical' restriction. It may work that way for some people, but that is not the primary purpose of the band. My surgeon said that it was originally believed the band worked by physically restricting the volume eaten, but they now understand that its primary purpose is to put pressure on the vagus nerves which control the hunger hormone, ghrelin. So instead of looking for physical restriction as the sweet spot, we should be looking for no hunger. The problem is that most of us can't differentiate between true hunger and bad habits or mental cravings and sometimes it takes something drastic (like a complete unfill) for us to be reminded of what it used to be like. The band will take away the true hunger...but it won't change our bad habits. That takes good old fashioned self-control and willpower. .

Jackie, I can so relate. I love to bake and cook and, particularly at this time of year, I get the urge to bake. Even one year post band, though, and I know it would be a huge mistake. I'd start off with good intentions, but it would be a cookie here, a cookie there and 10 extra pounds after Christmas. I did make pies and a fruitcake for Thanksgiving, but took it to my mother-in-law's for dinner and left it all there afterwards. They weren't the kind of things you could take a bite or piece out of, so they were safe. Cookies, though...uh uh. Good for you for knowing your limitations and don't let anyone guilt you into baking if you know it will be your downfall. I mean, realistically, if you were an alcoholic, would you let your family guilt you into stocking up on alcohol for the holiday season? It's the same thing...really. .

Ok, so you don't have an exercise routine, don't always make the right food choices, etc...but you have accomplished the basics - correct amount of Proteins, no snacking, small bites...and lost 27 pounds! Obviously you are doing something right! You're being too hard on yourself. We don't change a lifetime of bad habits in 2.5 months. It's a gradual process and it looks like you're making those changes. My .02...list the things you still know you have to change (e.g. stopping at fast food drive-thrus)...and then just pick one and work on that specifically for 30 days. Be consistent. I used to hit drive-thrus every day pre-band. After I had my surgery, I made a vow to *never* stop at another fast food drive-thru. Notice I did not say to never eat at one...just never the drive thru. Interestingly, I haven't eaten at a fast food place since surgery because I realized that if I had to actually go in and eat my meal, it was just too inconvenient and time consuming. Anyway, take the things you want to work on one at a time and focus on them. Remember, this isn't just about losing weight (which, by the way, you're doing a fantastic job at) but about changing our habits/lifestyle for lifelong success. .

I love Mondays, my official weigh day, now that the scale is once again moving in the right direction. I'm still 219 as of this morning, but I'm thrilled! It means I'm officially headed in the right direction. I actually didn't expect it to move this morning since I did just drop about 10 pounds in a couple weeks. Not that I'll complain if it wants to take another big dip downwards. I'm kind of bummed this morning because my family has been posting about the 4" of snow they got overnight and how they're expecting 3" more. Normally, we're west of them by about 5 hours and get the same weather just a day earlier. Looking out at my NON-snow covered lawn, it's apparent that I was gyped!! Where's my snow?! Denise: I like that...a 20 year renewal only. My husband and I celebrated our 20th last June and I told him it was successful enough to renew for at least another 20...but, of course, there's always the fine print. Elcee: I don't care for the forum changes either. It still seems really clunky and I especially don't like the fact that I can't get a preview of what a thread is about by mousing over the title of the thread. I don't worry about getting notifications. I just pop in to at least this thread every day. Jackie: Welcome! Yes it is amazing what we can do when we take off even 40 pounds. 40 pounds ago, if I got down on my knees to look under the bed, there was a serious question of whether I'd be able to lift myself to a standing position again. Now, I do it without a thought. Stacie: Can't you just cancel that order, since they haven't charged it, and go buy it at the store? If they haven't shipped it yet, who knows whether they'll ship it in time at this point. I am so hoping your band is ok!! Good vibes for the 16th! Melody .

I am now a little over a year postop and I've had almost constant shoulder pain since the day of surgery. It only happens when I'm lying down or riding in the passenger seat of the car (maybe because of the way the car seat back is molded) or if I try to take my arm and move it behind my back. It is not affected by eating or drinking. Everyone says it will go away. It hasn't. When I first mentioned it at the clinic, they looked at me like they had never heard of this happening and their suggestion has been to get my regular doctor to prescribe pain meds. I'm going to call my clinic tomorrow and tell them I need to see the surgeon because they either need to take the band out or fix whatever is causing this pain to continue and worsen. Taking pain meds the rest of my life is not an option. I've actually woken up in the night crying from the pain...and this is from someone who never took pain meds after the surgery. .

Good afternoon everyone! I spent the morning baking. I decided to try a new low carb recipe I found (based on Atkins Revolution Rolls) because I've been dying for a hamburger on a bun and I think it came out well. I'm getting ready to go make lunch now. Then I'm going to work on a low carb version of 'crackers' because I've seriously missed 'cheese and crackers'. I found a low carb peanut butter cookie recipe too but that one I'm going to avoid. Only 2 carbs per cookie but I know me...I'll suck down a dozen and then so much for low carb. Have a good one! Melody .

Bob: Glad to hear from you. Without that extra weight in front, be careful you don't tip over backwards while your body is recentering its gravity. Leigha: I want you for my neighbor! Most people in this world would've said, "not my problem" and moved on without a thought. Just shows that you are as lovely on the inside as you are on the out. Denise: It is hard backing away from situations, but I'm glad you have family support to do so. Nothing worse than driving yourself into the dirt because you're guilted into it. Your husband sounds like a darling man! HB: I started a little tree skirt for what may become my new Christmas tree. I never have been much for decorating. I guess because I've been so busy running various business that the thought of having to take it all down post-holiday was just too overwhelming. Here's a pic of my new Christmas tree. I'm guess I won't have a problem finishing the skirt before Christmas .

Communication is the key. Your husband may believe he's helping you. Sit him down and tell him exactly what you need from him. He may or may not be able to be there in the way you need him to be and that's ok, but if he can't, then he (and you) need to define the boundaries of what is acceptable and stick with them. .

Ladies, I'm sorry about the 'husbands'. Can't live with 'em...can't bury them in the back yard. <sigh> /.

Nobody home for the last 3 days except one little bird. Has everyone abandoned this thread? .

Unfortunately, you are not the only one who thought eating like this was the new 'normal'. When my doctor found out I was regularly getting stuck...and I was taking small bites and chewing well (not to mush though)...he said that is a sign of being overfilled. If someone is following the rules and getting stuck on a daily basis, they need a slight unfill. Glad to hear you're fixed and can eat without pain! .

I don't know but I do know that if someone is doing this, it is a big red flag that they have an eating disorder. If you're actually doing this...or considering doing this...I would seriously recommend therapy. .

"Dad, I love you and respect your opinion, but I've decided to go ahead with the band surgery. I know you may not agree with my decision, but I hope you'll respect the fact that it is my decision." .

Nope. My surgeon doesn't do preop diets. The day before surgery I was on clear liquids and that was it. .

Everytime you reach for that piece of cake, dig up just enough willpower to put it into a bowl and immediately take it over to the sink and run Water over it. If you find yourself reaching for a second piece...do it again. It only takes a few seconds of willpower. .

You can say that again. I'm actually glad it happened though because I really had forgotten that prior to the band I dealt with a hunger that drove me to eat constantly. Five minutes after eating, my stomach was telling me to eat again and it wasn't head hunger. With that reminder, I've been far more successful in the last 2 weeks (in controlling my eating) than I have been in months. I think when I went in for my unfill 2 weeks ago, I was at 228 and as of this morning I'm at 219. .

Jazz, If you've been banded for 2 years and only lost 16 pounds since surgery (based on your ticker...14 of that 30 was preop maybe?) *and* unable to eat real food, there's no doubt that you've been overfilled for a good part of that 2 years. As we all discover, being overfilled does not lead to weight loss because we end up eating higher calorie/carb slider foods. In addition, we can damage our esophagus from too many episodes of urping up stuck food. I know it's scary to be without a fill but, to be honest, haven't the last 2 years been sort of like you haven't a fill in the sense that you were eating sliders and not really losing weight? Please don't think I'm insensitive. I spent several months in the same condition with the same results so I really do understand. Just look at this as a rest period and do the best you can with at least making good choices. .

Karyn, Good luck with your sleeve surgery! If you were successful with the band, I know you'll be successful with the sleeve. .

I would've just told him that I was going into the hospital for a minor procedure...no details. If at some point, it became serious...that's soon enough to tell him. I think perhaps he freaked because it was 'too much, soon'. .

I've noticed a lot of posts from people who had negative psych evals that kept them from getting surgery...or they worried would keep them from surgery. So, a few tips... Ask your bariatric surgeon to refer you to a psychiatrist they've worked with. These people are generally 'on board' with the idea of WLS and they know how to write the evaluation so insurance will approve the WLS. If they can't refer you, when you call to make an appointment with one, tell them you need this referral for WLS preop requirements and feel them out about their mindset regarding WLS. You can even ask them if they've done referrals like this before. After you get the evaluation done, get a copy of the report. It is your right. If you feel the report is biased against WLS (because the psych came up with all kinds of excuses that make you not a good candidate), get a second opinion...or a third, even if you have to pay for it yourself. You can submit these to your insurance agency (the one usually requiring the psych eval) on appeal. For the most part, these evals are merely a formality and what they're looking for is evidence that the person has an eating disorder (e.g. bulimia) that will not bode well for a good post WLS outcome. .

Since you've already told other family members, I would tell him...but in a way that says "I'm an adult and I'm telling you this because I love and respect you...but it's not up for discussion. I am doing this for *me*." .