purple3797

Hi everyone! I have a question that is really hard and I could use some advice. Just a background I have 2 kids 6 and 3 and I have been married for 8 years but have been together since I was 20 and I am now 34. Our relationsship has always been rocky, very hot and cold and he has always been very jealous and moody. We are also from two different cultures so this may add to our differences. Well two years ago I started talking to an ex and we carried ona four month friendship (emotioanl affair) and talked frequently. We did kiss but there was no sex. My husband found aout about it and all hell broke lose. After that he became very physically abusive and I stayed b/c I felt that I deserved it after the pain I had caused him. I immediately stopped the friendship with this other person and have not spoken to him since. My husband and I went to marriage counseling and it did not help and we stopped after a few times. I kept going to see someone on my own. It is two years later and the physical abuse seems to have died down as it was a once in awhile thing but evertytime we have an arguement now or if I am upset with something it is back to what I did two years ago. I feel so sad and depressed and I am trying to focus on caring for myself and having lap band and getting healthy. I have been putting my all in the relationship and my hubby is hot and cold one day great and the next day evil to me. I am so sad for my kids if the marriage ends and I think that is a big part as to why I have put up with it. Please help me figure this out????

Thanks miss for all the info and support!

I have had the band for two years but have not had much success. I need to really start over and take this seriously or else i will start having medical issued what food plan do you suggest i do? Please help!!!

Love that sage!!!!!

I know all about the counseling thing lol my problems are not going away or going to get better anytime soon so i have to start taking care of myself in midst of the craziness and stress and not wait to say then ill take care of myself. I feel like i am safe to say most of us with the band emotionally eat or have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food or else there would have been no reason for the band

Its so hard to tell how much fill is the right amount and not too much were you are miserable

I dont have much of a fill now due to a surgerey i had and they took most out. Before that though i was eating crap food because healthy food was getting stuck all the time

Thank you for the encouragement ! I am working to keep my family afloat my marriage is a mess i have two young kids and trying to do it all i guess you can figure i take the back seat in priority plus i ear my way through the stress. I work in hospice now and my own mortality is becoming apparent and i need to be here for my kids!

Thank you for your help ! I feel so discouraged and like a failure!

What kind and how much exercise do you do?

Maybe i will seek out a new one i am thinking about 1200 should be good

They always tell me to do shakes though i don't want to live off of shakes im 5 2 about 245 pounds

Do you guys think ww jenny craig or just good ole calorie counting is the best ?? Along with a band tweak??? and if calories what is the range i should be in

Thats wonderful! Your an inspiration!

I feel like people lose the weight without the band and i cant even do it with the band!!!!

I had the too loose than too tight problem i hated stuck! I couldn't eat healthy foods but now i can everything but too much if it

Here is my crazy story. I had the band done Nov of 2010. I have not had any crazy problems but the band has been getting on my nerves lately. I initially lost about 30 pounds and then my life had a big crisis hit..the stress is near killing me and I started eating crap and of course gained weight. I am working 4 part time jobs to keep my family afloat, i have two young kids and no time to take care of myself. Anyway i find it so hard to eat lately, it hurts and the crap food is so much easier to eat. I have been to the doctore but is not much help. I feel like i vomit about twice a week but i avoid the good food for me since it is hard to eat it and i dont have relaxing time to eat slowly non stressed. I hate never getting the normal full feeling, sick of the lump in the throat and pain in the chest, sick of the being afraid of certain foods, plus i feel bloated all the time and gassy. Then i have been hearing all the horror stories about the band and cancer and then i get anxiety thinking i have a ticking time bomb inside of me. sometimes i really truly regret getting this, It was a waste of time and money and heart ache. I feel like i was losing better without this thing in me and feeling better also. I want it out most days but not even sure if insurance will cover it. Any ideas suggestions??? Mot sure what to do. thanks in advance!

Thank you all for your supportive responses. Toomuchfun -I feel that if I wait until my life is in order I will never do the right thing by me and give up completely on my health. It does not look like my stuff is clearing up anytime soon so i will have to live with what it is despite how sucky it is. Anyway I do know how to persevere I am a fighter I am just trying to figure out what route to take. I was actually thinking about having some fluid out and seeing if it puts me in a better place. I am not losing with what I have in it so dont think it will hurt much. I appreciate all of you!! thank you your encouragement literally brought tears to my eyes!

I was wondering if anyone out there has done medifast with the band. I just ordered my first month and I am really praying it will give me the structure i need. I will be doing the 5 and 1 which is 5 medifast products and i lean and green meal.. thanks....

I hate to be gloom and doom but I really think tha I have given up onmyself and this surgery. I had it done november of 2010 and I did lose about 40 pounds. I had a major life crisis hit and my ife has not been the same since and since that point about 1 year ago my weight loss has ended and the ain started I am up now half of what I lost and I am so mad at myself. I feel like I went though this whole process to just fail at this also. I feel like this was just another failed weight loss attempt. I am in a rocky marriage, i have two kids work about 50 hours a week and can not find the time to take care of myself, and when i do have the the time i dont have the energy or the desire. I think that i have a decent amount of fluid in my band to the point where i can get stuck on certain things but yet other things, maily junk goes down so easy! I am afraid i stetched my pouch at times, i at times also wished i never got this thing now its one more thing for me to worry about going wrong inmy body! I need to get on track, i need a buddy, i need some advice to pick myself up somehow and move on in the right direction.....not sure if there is hope for me though..maybe i am destined to be like this....

i was told that mine was a stoma spasm..i get the pain also sometimes but it is random and i could follow all of the rules and it would not make a difference. i had a small amount of fluid removed and it has gotten a little better. my kind of feels like a stuck pin with the food going down but its not stuck.....same way with me also after a few painful bites then i could at times be fine. hormones also back the band feel tighter i was told

Hi everyone well I had my surgery Nov 15 of last year and have lost about 35 pounds ..only problem is , is that my life has got really complicated and stressful (more so than before) and I started putting myself on the back burner again and hello weight gain! So my question is I need a diet plan or some sort of structure to follow..I ma to free for all now..I can eat most anything still.....Please I would love any ideas. The doc told me two shakes and one small meal ....I dont know if that would keep me full..what do you all do and think is a good food plan????? And for those of you who have been really successful what worked for you in the losing phase of this process???

I feel your pain because ice cream has been my complete downfall lately. My husband is not home on the weekend nights due to work so when the kids go to sleep I am lonley bored and looking for some comfort int he ice cream! I need an alternative as well and have been searching around my dad said to try to eat pop corn instead..any ideas out there?

Hi everyone! I have two questions for all of you banders. the first is I am finding it very hard not to eat at night my husband works on the weekends and I am all by myself. After I put the kids to bed I am bored and lonely and all I want to do is eat! Please any ideas or surggestions would be greatly appreciated! Also I am so gassy and bloated everytime I eat I am 8 months post op and wondering if anyone else experiences this. Thanks!