ldswims

Oddly, this blog is helping me get through the six months. So if you get tired of my drivel, I understand - but this is entirely about getting through this and keeping my momentum, right now anyway. Between this blog and reading everyone else's - I'm learning a lot and generally keeping my mind occupied on something other than my impatience. I am impatient. Yesterday was Wednesday. Today is Thursday. That's progress! I like progress! Why is this progress? Because sometimes one little ol' day is enough to comfort me. Yesterday - Dec 7th seemed so very far away. Dec 7th is my next weigh in. Dec 7th is, in some realm or another, my midway point for the unweightloss program. So how does going from Weds to Thurs make me feel better? Because Weds is hump day. It's that day that's not leading into the week and it's not leading out of the week. It's just there. It was my hump day before vacation. So now I'm on the downhill slide for the week and vacation is looming. Next week will be different. I won't be preoccupied about this - because I'll be preoccupied about something else. And then I'll come back and have one measly week before my next weigh in. And therefore (knowing myself as I do) that will be a quick week! Couple the excitement of midway with returning from vacation and being slammed with "crap, I'm back at work" - it will be a quick week. And then it's Christmas season, anyway. And time will fly! I'll be begging for the days when all I could do is sit here and think about this because time will speed up in the next week to something a bit beyond a blur. So really, one day changes everything for me. I know, I've got this whacky count down thing and now one day means it's the end of the year and I'm half way through my unweightloss program. But work with me here. If this makes me feel better - let me have it. Cause I feel better now. All I can say is I hope there are people on this planet who don't have to twist calendars and clocks to get 'feel better' moments.

Happy Bandiversary! Congratulations on your success so far. And thanks for the words of support for all those behind you!

Hmmm...the choice wasn't made for you. YOU still made that choice to be banded on the day they suggested - and you chose it in spite of the holidays being right around the corner. Good for you! I wish I'd had that resolve when I first started down this path - but then I discovered I have to do a six month unweightloss program anyway, so it didn't matter whether I got in "in time to be able to eat real food on Thanksgiving". And you are sooooo right - there is sooo much more to the holidays than the food. So here's to wishing you a very Merry Happy Holiday Season!

Oh, BG you are too funny! I just can't stop giggling myself. But I'd do anything to have that jiggle of which you speak instead of the flabbery-ness I still have. So maybe calisthenics for a little while? I guess we call that pilates nowadays... I know that won't solve the skin - but it might evade the jiggle...

Congrats! I just read your blog from start to finish and what a great read it was! I love your perspective and your diligence - I hope I can be half as good about the gym/walking. Like you, I always love it - but then something whacky happens at work and I'm derailed and that's that. You are an inspiration to at least try! So thank you for that!

Oddly, this blog is helping me get through the six months. So if you get tired of my drivel, I understand - but this is entirely about getting through this and keeping my momentum, right now anyway. Between this blog and reading everyone else's - I'm learning a lot and generally keeping my mind occupied on something other than my impatience. I am impatient. Yesterday was Wednesday. Today is Thursday. That's progress! I like progress! Why is this progress? Because sometimes one little ol' day is enough to comfort me. Yesterday - Dec 7th seemed so very far away. Dec 7th is my next weigh in. Dec 7th is, in some realm or another, my midway point for the unweightloss program. So how does going from Weds to Thurs make me feel better? Because Weds is hump day. It's that day that's not leading into the week and it's not leading out of the week. It's just there. It was my hump day before vacation. So now I'm on the downhill slide for the week and vacation is looming. Next week will be different. I won't be preoccupied about this - because I'll be preoccupied about something else. And then I'll come back and have one measly week before my next weigh in. And therefore (knowing myself as I do) that will be a quick week! Couple the excitement of midway with returning from vacation and being slammed with "crap, I'm back at work" - it will be a quick week. And then it's Christmas season, anyway. And time will fly! I'll be begging for the days when all I could do is sit here and think about this because time will speed up in the next week to something a bit beyond a blur. So really, one day changes everything for me. I know, I've got this whacky count down thing and now one day means it's the end of the year and I'm half way through my unweightloss program. But work with me here. If this makes me feel better - let me have it. Cause I feel better now. All I can say is I hope there are people on this planet who don't have to twist calendars and clocks to get 'feel better' moments. :biggrin:

Hang in there...you can do this! It does sound like maybe you do need to be unfilled a little. Restriction is good - but when it hinders the nutritional aspect of food, it defeats the purpose. Results won't happen over night no matter how you handle this, so slow and steady will be best - and that will be better done when you can actually eat. Hang in there. But I would definitely suggest talking to your Dr. about this and don't be opposed to an unfill. And you are right - God has blessed you - with another day and the wherewithall to know something's got to give here.

You look great! I love the hair! Your chili recipe sounds a lot like mine except I add one beer and a smidge of cayenne pepper. Since I now live in Texas I have learned that "real" chili has no beans... :biggrin:

Interesting. As I read my way through your blog over the past couple of weeks I did notice a lack of exercise and thought to myself - wow. I also thought to myself - interesting. Furthermore, I thought to myself - when you plateua and stop getting results - then you can add exercise - maybe this was part of the master plan. Exercise at heavier weights makes you more prone to injuries. It's a funny little conundrum - exercise to get the weight off - but because you can't get the weight off, you get injured when you try. Exercise to get the weight off - but because you are (in your case, were) heavy, it physically hurts to do it. I'd venture you've lost so much now you won't have this - just a few cobwebs to dust off. I envy you! I can't wait to be where you are! Soon enough...

I have next week off and I can't wait! Sleeping in, spending time with friends and family - oh...and THANKSGIVING! So two more days this week. My husband thinks my counting is off. After all - it's Wednesday morning...and we have to work Thursday and Friday still. But I say - the wake up calls are what counts...and we only have two left - so we only have two days left until a blessed week off! :drool: So what are we going to do, you ask? Monday: our almost one and a half year old pool will finally get it's final inspection. We will also get our carpets cleaned and I head off to see a dermatologist because I have something forming on my leg that I don't like AT ALL. We will finish off the day with a football watching where a friend/neighbor will be making his homemade pretty darn good chicken wings and fried pickles. I hate the pickles - but the wings I can do. Come on back and visit, you ten pounds you... :thumbup: Tuesday: our house gets cleaned. Grocery shopping for Thurs. Make a few loaves of bread for the stuffing, sourdough dinner rolls, pies...that kind of stuff. Maybe. It depends. Wednesday: if I haven't done the baking yet, then I will on Wednesday. I will also pre-assemble some of the dishes. I think the interesting thing for me is that I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking and baking. To me - it's about that, not about the food that gets consumed afterwards. I know I will enjoy this endeavor even when I can only eat two bites of turkey and one bite of stuffing. I know this because of how I am with baked goods. I LOVE to bake pies and cookies and cakes. I love to make candy. And then I LOVE LOVE LOVE giving it all away (which is mostly a Christmas thing). What I don't give away we keep in the freezer and my hubby eats far more of it than I ever do. I am very much not a sweets person. BUT I love to make it all! And then it will be Thursday. Up at 6 am to get the stuffing started. Get the bird in the bbq by 8am. And then watch the rest of the day unfold. Depending on what I get done on Weds and what I have left to do on Thurs – I might get some time to watch some football. Yes, I said bbq. I will be roasting the bird in the bbq this year to free up the oven for everything else. I am curious to see how it turns out...but I don't expect much difference. So the MIL story. GRRR. :mad5: If you have been following my blog you will know that I wrote up a fantastic rendition of loving the MIL because she’s so great. Yeah. NM. I still love her. Don’t get me wrong. I do think I got very lucky on the MIL front. But she, unknowingly, squashed my husband and me last week. I was so looking forward to sharing the cooking of the feast with her. I was so looking forward to spending some time with them both since they have been up in WI since April. We took the week off to spend with them – not to get the carpets cleaned. GRRR. :rant: Anywho, we get a call from them last Tues asking us to call them back. So once home and settled, we did. And here was the conversation we had: MIL: So you remember the wedding I was playing the organ for on Sunday? Us: No MIL: I told you about that Us: No. MIL: I’m sure I did because I was going to have to leave on Saturday to be back in time for the rehearsal Us: No. You were going to leave late Sunday evening since you were going to miss the first part of the week with us for a dentist appoint. MIL: Oh. I’m sure I told you. I interrupt this broadcast to say: Back in September we were supposed to go to WI for a long weekend and to see their new place. At the last minute my employer decided I couldn’t have the approved vacation time off afterall. Given the current economic climate we decided the trip would wait as it was not worth risking my job. At that point, we said “well we will take the whole week of thanksgiving off so that we can spend the time with you.” And MIL and Step-FIL said “Great!” In October we hear: well, we won’t get to your house until Wednesday evening. [MIL] has a dentist appt and she can’t reschedule it because then her teeth cleaning will be overdue. We think: really? You can’t reschedule a teeth cleaning for a week or two later? Really? Back to the story… Us: No, Mom, you didn’t. MIL: Well, it gets worse. They have rescheduled their rehearsal. So instead of having it Saturday evening, they are going to have it Friday evening. Us: What? So you are going to come down late on Weds and have to leave early on Friday? MIL: Well. Not really. Us: Mom? MIL: the organist for my church does not want to play the service on Thanksgiving because she wants to be with her family and so I said I would. Silence MIL: So I’ll be coming down on Thursday after the service is over. Silence So here’s my thing. Ok. So I get to cook the feast by myself. This won’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. That’s ok. I have so many wonderful memories of cooking this feast with my mom and I want to keep it going. I definitely hope that someday in the future I have a daughter I can pass this onto. But it’s leaving hubby and I with this question – why bother? It’s a four hour drive and they won’t even be getting on the road until around 11:00 AM. They will arrive AFTER we serve dinner. And I’m not going to be the gracious hostess here and adjust eating time to accommodate a lack of thought. If this were just us and the in-laws I could see that but this is a group of people being asked to sit around and wait. Furthermore, they’ve made it clear that the reason they are coming at all is to see the BIL and his wife. I understand wanting to see them. But, ironically, it’s not likely to happen. BIL and his wife ALWAYS spend Thanksgiving with HER family. And they will again this year, too. We started something last year we all proclaimed would be our tradition and that was to get together on Friday for a custom leftover Panini sandwich station. That was the plan again this year. Anywho… :rant: Love the family…that’s all you can do, eh? :biggrin: Yay for only two days left!!! :cheers2:

I have next week off and I can't wait! Sleeping in, spending time with friends and family - oh...and THANKSGIVING! So two more days this week. My husband thinks my counting is off. After all - it's Wednesday morning...and we have to work Thursday and Friday still. But I say - the wake up calls are what counts...and we only have two left - so we only have two days left until a blessed week off! So what are we going to do, you ask? Monday: our almost one and a half year old pool will finally get it's final inspection. We will also get our carpets cleaned and I head off to see a dermatologist because I have something forming on my leg that I don't like AT ALL. We will finish off the day with a football watching where a friend/neighbor will be making his homemade pretty darn good chicken wings and fried pickles. I hate the pickles - but the wings I can do. Come on back and visit, you ten pounds you... Tuesday: our house gets cleaned. Grocery shopping for Thurs. Make a few loaves of bread for the stuffing, sourdough dinner rolls, pies...that kind of stuff. Maybe. It depends. Wednesday: if I haven't done the baking yet, then I will on Wednesday. I will also pre-assemble some of the dishes. I think the interesting thing for me is that I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking and baking. To me - it's about that, not about the food that gets consumed afterwards. I know I will enjoy this endeavor even when I can only eat two bites of turkey and one bite of stuffing. I know this because of how I am with baked goods. I LOVE to bake pies and cookies and cakes. I love to make candy. And then I LOVE LOVE LOVE giving it all away (which is mostly a Christmas thing). What I don't give away we keep in the freezer and my hubby eats far more of it than I ever do. I am very much not a sweets person. BUT I love to make it all! And then it will be Thursday. Up at 6 am to get the stuffing started. Get the bird in the bbq by 8am. And then watch the rest of the day unfold. Depending on what I get done on Weds and what I have left to do on Thurs – I might get some time to watch some football. Yes, I said bbq. I will be roasting the bird in the bbq this year to free up the oven for everything else. I am curious to see how it turns out...but I don't expect much difference. So the MIL story. GRRR. :mad5: If you have been following my blog you will know that I wrote up a fantastic rendition of loving the MIL because she’s so great. Yeah. NM. I still love her. Don’t get me wrong. I do think I got very lucky on the MIL front. But she, unknowingly, squashed my husband and me last week. I was so looking forward to sharing the cooking of the feast with her. I was so looking forward to spending some time with them both since they have been up in WI since April. We took the week off to spend with them – not to get the carpets cleaned. GRRR. :rant: Anywho, we get a call from them last Tues asking us to call them back. So once home and settled, we did. And here was the conversation we had: MIL: So you remember the wedding I was playing the organ for on Sunday? Us: No MIL: I told you about that Us: No. MIL: I’m sure I did because I was going to have to leave on Saturday to be back in time for the rehearsal Us: No. You were going to leave late Sunday evening since you were going to miss the first part of the week with us for a dentist appoint. MIL: Oh. I’m sure I told you. I interrupt this broadcast to say: Back in September we were supposed to go to WI for a long weekend and to see their new place. At the last minute my employer decided I couldn’t have the approved vacation time off afterall. Given the current economic climate we decided the trip would wait as it was not worth risking my job. At that point, we said “well we will take the whole week of thanksgiving off so that we can spend the time with you.” And MIL and Step-FIL said “Great!” In October we hear: well, we won’t get to your house until Wednesday evening. [MIL] has a dentist appt and she can’t reschedule it because then her teeth cleaning will be overdue. We think: really? You can’t reschedule a teeth cleaning for a week or two later? Really? Back to the story… Us: No, Mom, you didn’t. MIL: Well, it gets worse. They have rescheduled their rehearsal. So instead of having it Saturday evening, they are going to have it Friday evening. Us: What? So you are going to come down late on Weds and have to leave early on Friday? MIL: Well. Not really. Us: Mom? MIL: the organist for my church does not want to play the service on Thanksgiving because she wants to be with her family and so I said I would. Silence MIL: So I’ll be coming down on Thursday after the service is over. Silence So here’s my thing. Ok. So I get to cook the feast by myself. This won’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. That’s ok. I have so many wonderful memories of cooking this feast with my mom and I want to keep it going. I definitely hope that someday in the future I have a daughter I can pass this onto. But it’s leaving hubby and I with this question – why bother? It’s a four hour drive and they won’t even be getting on the road until around 11:00 AM. They will arrive AFTER we serve dinner. And I’m not going to be the gracious hostess here and adjust eating time to accommodate a lack of thought. If this were just us and the in-laws I could see that but this is a group of people being asked to sit around and wait. Furthermore, they’ve made it clear that the reason they are coming at all is to see the BIL and his wife. I understand wanting to see them. But, ironically, it’s not likely to happen. BIL and his wife ALWAYS spend Thanksgiving with HER family. And they will again this year, too. We started something last year we all proclaimed would be our tradition and that was to get together on Friday for a custom leftover Panini sandwich station. That was the plan again this year. Anywho… :rant: Love the family…that’s all you can do, eh? :thumbup: Yay for only two days left!!! :eek:

Thanks BG - I needed that! "Sad" part is I'm not "dieting" - I'm being conscientous about what I'm ingesting - trying to mimick what I would do post-band, except haven't adjusted the caloric intake yet to <1200 yet. So maybe I just need to eat too much of it for awhile...or maybe my hormones can help me gain some back... I am doing the tracking site - found fitday.com through you. I have had the spreadsheet going for 5 years now. I've got it all automized and it graphs everything... I am also tracking the protein - and have discovered I'm not getting enough. That's one of the big things that has changed in the past week (hence the weightloss) is trying to increase that protein. I guess it worked. :thumbup: Hmmm... No more protein...

Hang in there nightgangl7! Are you going to let a silly referral get you down? Cause the insurance company will almost assuredly come up with more obstacles for you - trust me, I know, I'm right there with you. It might be enough of a referral for the insurance company that your surgeon ordered this stuff. If this were me, I'd call the insurance company and find out about that. And while you are on the phone with them - ask them for a list of psychologists they will pay for. That's how I found mine - the ones referred by my surgeon were all out-of-network for me. I have discovered that talking to the insurance people myself is the only way I get the "real answer". You can do this. It will all be ok and in the end, I hope you can find that you are glad to have gone through this whole process. You will be SOO ready to be banded when it happens because YOU got YOURSELF there.

Dr. Hollis - he's down in my area of town...

Welcome to the site. I'm not banded yet and so can't help in that front - but I can say good job on the 21 pounds and that's awesome about being off the diabetes meds already. You are probably right in saying you have not eaten, so it's logical that the blood sugar is normal - but it's also so very into the normal realm that they think even when you do eat you will be fine. That's a major milestone there, I think! How much longer do you have the clear liquid diet? This will pass. From what I have read thus far, it always does. :thumbup:

That's AWESOME! On all fronts! I don't believe you are 50, or 49 7/8 for that matter, either. I think your avatar looks incredibly young and glamorous and did not believe your build up to 50 for even a minute. Must be a rouse, I thought - you must have just turned 40...and you wanted support as you regressed through the decade. Yay for 180 and NSV's!!!

LOL - thanks for that - my coworkers are all peeking around the corner to find out what I'm laughing about... I was wondering where you'd gone off to - how's everything going for YOU, Renebeau?

Osteoarthritis is not a comorbidity my insurance company will accept. They accept four - type II diabetes, hypertension, pulmonary hypertension or coronary artery disease. And I'd have to have two...

I live in Texas where we don't get a winter at all. With that said - we do have these cold fronts come throught that can leave the temperature barely climbing above 45. That is chilly - and it's fantastic. I am the type of person that when it starts to get cold like that, I open the window and start fires in the fireplace while jumping for joy.:huh2: So it's fall. We generally hover around the mid-high 70's and temps at night are wonderful for having the windows open. Still not fireplace weather - but it's coming. If we were to sit outside at night chatting with friends, however, we might light a chiminea. The scent of smoke wafting through the neighborhood always makes my heart jump for joy - "winter" is coming! :smile2: Between the cooling weather and football - it's just such a wonderful time of year. My husband and I are addicted to football! This time of year, it's on at all hours of the day and night from Thurs-Mon. We save our household projects until January when football season is really just in championship mode and they games become few and far between. Here in Texas, our leaves are starting to turn. Seems early to me this year. Not that our leaves rival New England - they don't even slightly - but they can still get quite colorful and it makes me look around in anticipation - what color will I see next? What tree will go stark first? (That's what I call the bare trees - not dormant, the proper term, but stark. Seems less scientific and is more like how I feel about them - stark = a blank canvas.) As much as I love the fall, I love winter more. I lived in Chicago for a year while in the Navy and I loved the winter there. I grew up in California and they have less winter there than we do here in Texas, although we certainly did have cold days and nights. Finally, I lived in Hawaii for three years, also in the Navy - and they certainly do not have a winter there. :thumbup: I had a hard time with that there, actually. It's hard to appreciate the beauty of the islands all the time when the flowers are always blooming, for example. There were very subtle differences - night time temps would drop into the 60's, for example, and wave activity would increase. It still wasn't a winter, though. One of the things I love about winter so much is the trees being blank canvases for what's next. That starkness I was talking about a moment ago. All these branches and limbs hanging around, sleeping, just waiting for the day when they can start afresh. It's refreshing to me - the starkness of winter. It means to me, that the world around me is in anticipation for what happens next. I love, mostly, the journey of seeing what will happen next. Sometimes the next thing is bad - and then I'm not so happy, but generally, good things are in store, I believe. And somehow, for me, winter is the mark between a good thing completed and the next new thing to come. It doesn't hurt that it's so very cold at night and I can open the windows and sleep like a baby with no AC on. It doesn't hurt that I don't even have to have the windows open to have the fire in the fireplace as "winter" moves on. With fall in full swing and the holidays lurking around the corner, I just woke up this morning with the thought - I am just so happy to be moving into this time of year! Don't get me wrong - I miss the summer. I miss being able to jump in my pool on a daily basis and I will be quite happy when the weather gets back to hot hot hot because I love love love my swimming! But this fall and the approaching "winter" have me thinking about what's in store. This time next year I hope to be banded. This time next year I hope to not have to be scared to exercise for fear that I will lose too much weight. This time next year I hope to be outside enjoying this wonderful weather quite simply because I will have lost enough weight that my feet will no longer kill me just for thinking of being on them. This time next year I hope that just like the trees losing their leaves - I will be moving into the next season of my life!

ARbandster - let me tell you - I'm a professional devil's advocate, myself. It drives my husband crazy... And I'm devil's advocating myself to he!! right now with all the what-ifs. I KNOW I can lose this weight on my own. I KNOW I can get down to a healthy weight on my own. I KNOW I can. I have lived more of my life as a crazy-California-style-health-nut than I have as a eat-whatever-I-want-redefined-my-definition-of-full person. I have discovered that going back to my health nut person - I'm relieved, I'm happy - I ALREADY feel better. I absolutely do not want to gain this weight back because of what it means I have to do. So I've turned a leaf. And I am very happy for that! I can do this. I KNOW I can. But what if I can't keep it off? What if my hormones go crazy again, say when my hubby and I have our first kid - and it all comes rushing back again? What if I end up worse off than I am now with type II diabetes and heart disease (which killed my dad) or a weight related cancer (which killed my mom). I'm only 34 and I've been parentless for four years. I WANT to live a long and healthy life - but what if I can't keep it off? It's a pickle, I tell you, it's a pickle! Thanks for letting me rant... Dolllady - good luck on the psyche eval. I was so nervous about it - didn't want to come across badly - but, ironically, I think that made me more nuttier than I actually am. :thumbup:

I may have to resort to trickery but I think I'm also playing with fire. I am down 16 pounds from where I started in Oct and that's a lot of gallons to drink. My biggest problem, in my mind, though, is that I still have four more months to go. I can't lose anymore than I have which means I have to undo all my changes. Sigh. Soda doesn't taste good anymore so now I guess I have to create a new vice - eight cookies a day or something egregious like that. Maybe for dinner I'll eat mashed potatoes only. Forget the protein - on with the carbs. I have four more months of "last suppers" I can claim, right? I'm just so ready to move on! :eek: I do like the purse idea, though. I can get my biggest heaviest purse down - it has a padlock on it. That padlock alone weights 4 pounds - yes, we've weighed it before. Add in six bottles of water...I can work with this. :thumbup:

So I am on the "unweightloss" program right now. When I finally was able to see my insurance company's policy regarding weightloss surgery I read in exact terms this: Failure of medical management including evidence of active participation within the last two years in a weight-management program that is supervised either by a physician or a registered dietician for a minimum of six months without significant gaps. This is frustrating to say the least. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. I am seriously struggling with this. In fact, with just changing my diet and not even my exercise levels, I seem to have misplaced TEN pounds over the past four days! I knew it was coming. My weight issues have always revolved around my hormone inbalances created by being a wonderful glorious woman (said dripping with sarcasm). Once a month - lasting for about a week - no matter what I do, I can't lose a single ounce. Once a month - lasting for about three days - no matter what I do, I gain five to seven pounds. And for the rest of the month, the weight melts off of me when I am behaving. Before I really discovered the trends and understood my body, this would get frustrating beyond all get out. But it's not so frustrating anymore. Now I can muscle down and just keep doing what I'm doing and know that when my hormones balance back out, I will be down. I have said before that my weight gains have always come when I get off of birth control. It's that hormone fluctuation that makes my body go crazy. So I'm off birth control, I'm regular, and I'm "normal", too. HA! I knew, because of where I am in my cycle, that I'd see a drop this week. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT DROP TO BE TEN FRIGGIN POUNDS! That TEN pounds puts my BMI below 40 - therefore making me ineligible. So...I have to gain it back. Yes, you heard me. I have to gain it back. I really have no choice. Unless I forego this and say "I can do this by myself". I have no doubt that "I can do this by myself". I do doubt that I can keep it off by myself. Which is why I'm here. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. Sigh. I don't want to gain it back. I DON WANNA! THIS IS SO STUPID! :thumbup:

1) It's a Friday. It's the 13th. Friday-the-13th's tend to lucky days for me. I have won three contests in my life - and they've all been on Friday-the-13th's. 2) FIVE more months? REALLY? Ok. Four months and three weeks. But I want to start NOW - not play games...but here I am. I guess four months and three weeks IS better than five months IS better than six months.... 3) How to eat post-band. How will it be different than now. I struggle to get my protein now, although becoming aware of this battle has helped. In the past two days I have been getting enough. I have approached Atkins in the past as eat whatever I want - protein like. But you can't sustain that for very long without causing other problems for your body, I believe. But what if I'm incredibly selective about the proteins I select? Instead of bacon, I pick salmon. Instead of cheese cubes, I eat broccoli dipped in hummus. Can my body sustain THOSE choices longer? I wonder. When I get banded, I am supposed to follow a high protein diet. Eat protein and then if you still can eat, then eat the veggies and then if you still can eat, then eat the carbs. Well. Out of seven days, I am supposed to avoid the carbs for six. On the seventh day, I can eat those carbs. It's my "cheat" day. If I pick a Sunday, though, to be my cheat day, then my cheat day should always fall on a Sunday. So hey, everyone, get your birthdays scheduled accordingly! Sorry, just a little blithe sarcasm, there. Anywho, say it takes me a year to lose my weight. For a whole year - I have not really eaten "normally". When I get into maintenance mode, then the band would presumably be loosened a smidge. Which should mean my caloric intake might be sufficient for actually getting to eat the carbs. Wouldn't that cause my body to say "here we go again, better start hoarding?" Now, Band_Groupie pointed out to me this morning that with restriction, by default, you essentially are doing an Atkins diet. You just quite simply can't eat enough food to get ALL the necessary protein AND ingest the carbs. Fair point. But as my weight decreases my necessary intake of protein will, too. This has me wondering and I will do more research. In esseance all of this came from - you guessed it - Band_Groupie's blog! It really got me to thinking when she was blogging about not wanting to diet. She’s been there done that – and this is a lifestyle change. I agree with that whole-heartedly. And that got me to thinking – so how is doing the Atkins AGAIN, even though with a band this time, not a diet? But. But But But But But. I can see why people would get into smoothies and shakes because although they are sliders – they also would be a way that you might actually be able to ingest the daily recommended protein and carbs (and all that other stuff that goes with them). I, like BG, do not want to be a smoothie/shake chick, either. With one exception. As is, right now, unbanded – and it’s been this way for years – I do drink smoothies in the morning. I will not stop that post-band. Lots of thoughts in this one little thought. Lots of research to do, too! Next… 4) I’m such a whiner. I don’t generally consider myself a whiner – but it sure is coming across that way when I reread my blog. I am sorry for that. With the insurance situation under check, I should be getting back to my non-whiny self. Sorry for the detour… 5) I am so glad I am done with all the Dr. appt’s. I have an appt with my cardiologist this afternoon. He had me do a stress test a couple weeks ago and stated I was cleared for surgery. Today is the formality of getting the written clearance that I can turn in. With this appt done, I literally only have the weigh in appt’s left. Two of those down – four to go… 6) Four appt’s to go sounds better than five months to go. I think I’ll switch to that song and dance…33% done. 7) I want to remember what it feels like to be bloated but thin. It’s bad enough that I have to be bloated on a monthly basis, but to be bloated and fat – well…that’s just downright uncomfortable!!!! I don’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortability (like my word?) before my heavy days. And even with the heavy days – it’s still pretty recent that it’s become so dagged uncomfortable. Now there’s a strange milestone for myself… 8) Maybe my cramps will get better, too! (TMI?) 9) Does anyone else see anything wrong with failing the unweightloss program on purpose? Does our insurance industry not get what they are causing here? Added expense, wasted time, a whole plethora of negatives by creating this game. My very own insurance company cites study after study in their very own weightloss surgery policy document. One such study states that a sample group of about ~300 patients was put together. ~50 of those patients were forced to do what I have termed the “unweightloss” program. ~250 were just given the surgery. (All cases used the Lap-Band.) The ~50 who were on the “unweightloss” program did it for real and were losing weight. Of those ~50 people, ~60% decided to not do the surgery. A year later all ~300 people were examined. The ~250 people who had the band surgery had ALL lost a minimum of ~50% of the weight they wanted to shed. Of the people who were on the weightloss program that did have the surgery, they had ALL lost weight, although not as much as those that just went straight to surgery since at the recheck they’d only been banded for six months vs. a year. But the people who thought the diet was going well and opted out of the surgery – they had ALL regained ALL of their weight back plus more, in most cases. So here we have it. Cigna has a document citing what their policies are. In this document they backup those policies with study after study after study. And in this particular study it shows that the unweightloss program hinders weightloss! There are quite a few other studies cited in that document that show similar results. Quite a few show that the efficacy of the lap-band is substantially greater long term than any other weight loss surgery option. And yet there they are, playing games. Oh well. On with life. Only four more appts to go! I think I’ve blogged enough today. So with that, I bid you adieu. I will be back this weekend with additional thoughts I may or may not have.