ldswims

I feel like I have been the walking textbook of contagious disease. At least I am finally back to walking... It's been crazy, that much I know. Last week I ended up with the first migraine I'd had in over two years. Surprising. Over the weekend - felt great and fine. Monday morning, nice and early I was hit with something but for the life of me, couldn't figure out what it was... Food poisoning didn't make sense. Nothing I ate made anyone else sick. And the lapse between the last meal and onset of symptoms was far too great. But the flu didn't make sense either. No exposure to it and while some symptoms were present, others were not. Went home sick Monday. Tuesday felt much better but still could not eat and so ended up with a overall feeling of lethargy. Went home sick Tuesday, too. Made it through more of the day, though. Tuesday night after sleeping for hours and hours and hours I thought I could eat. So hubby obligingly went and got me the meal du jour. I ate it. It was good. I was happy. Wednesday morning way before bright and early I knew that was a wrong choice. Wednesday I just stayed home and vowed to go to the doc. My PCP couldn't see me, her schedule was full - but another doc in the practice had availability. GREAT! Just don't make me pay the urgent care fee - I'll be happy to see anyone for my normal copay. Wednesday morning, as I was trying to get to sleep in between hourly trips to the restroom, it occurred to me - this might be gastroenteritis. Wednesday afternoon it was confirmed. I was told it was viral which meant I could take some OTC's to relieve the most annoying symptom of all. I was also given a scrip for phenargen so that I could start to ingest water and watered-down-gatorade. I was also told to stay home on Thurs as it was quite contagious. Thursday, feeling better and finally rested, I started to come down with a cold that I knew was lurking in the sidewings. Apparently with enough energy to consume, NOW the cold feels like it can make it's presence known. So today is the stuffed up, coughing, aching (which has been there all along), can't breathe day. Oh well. I'll take this over the last thing if I've got no other choice... Since Monday at 6:30 am I have lost 10 pounds. SOOOOO not how I wanted to lose 10 pounds! We'll see where I end up when things "normalize". Is this my 10 pounds for the month leaving me with the option of eating-what-I-want-over-Christmas?

I hope you beat this UTI! That's no fun! I love the comic at the end, that's perfect! And congrats on the 3 pounds!

I have had an interesting time since last blogging. Thursday I woke up grumpy as all get out. My hubby and I carpool and for the life of him, that morning, he could do nothing right. I griped and complained and tore new a-holes all while he sat patiently by my side waiting for it to end. Just about the time we were getting to the freeway for our drive in Houston I realized...I was getting a migraine. First one in over two years. I dallyied with the idea of going home but thought, nah, it will all be ok. So we got on the freeway - me still griping away at my sweetheart of a hubby. And we were just about out of Clear Lake when the pain and the auras kicked in. I was done. I turned around and went home. Hubby got back in that same car and went to work. I closed the drapes and the doors and silenced the phone and crawled into bed. And I stayed that way all day with blankets over my head even though the room was pitch black. Yeah, not having a migraine in over two years seems to have led to a build up. Thursday night I was worse than ever and took some of my hard core migraine meds. Those made me feel like crap but the migraine did lessen up a bit. And so when I woke up Friday morning, I decided to take the day again. You see, Friday, in Houston...IT SNOWED! So I figured - why fight the crazy weather and the bad drivers when I still have a bit of a migraine? Turns out I should have gone in. I would have been knocked off at noon - because they understand that no one in Houston knows how to deal with snow and ice. So I would not have had too much time staring at a monitor on Friday. Oh well. Hubby got to come home early, too. And we sat on our couch watching tv, keeping the fire going, while praying that the snow would start to stick. All day on Friday we hovered around 36-38 and so the snow never did stick. But about five miles to the west of us they did have the lower temps and the snow DID stick. I think we would have had about 4 inches if it had stuck, it snowed just about the whole day - started at 8am and didn't stop until 5pm. Oh well. I did apologize to hubby for my crazy behavior Thursday morning, too, and, being the sweet man that he is, said, "It's ok". No...it isn't...but thank you for thinking so. Miraculously, I was fine all weekend. Maybe that's irony. From my employer's perspective, anyway. Yesterday I woke up feeling like general he!!. I got up and ran straight to the toilet. Felt like I had to throw up but I couldn't get my bum off the toilet long enough to make the switch. One of those days. But yesterday was two things. One - it was my third weigh in. Two - it would be my third day off from work if I didn't go in. That's significant because of our sick time policy. We have no limit to the amount of sick days we can take. Of course, you don't want to take any days. But most employers say six days or eight days and leave it at that. My employer says take what you need - but if you are gone three days or more then we want a Dr. note. Fair enough. I didn't really want to go to the dr. Still don't. I don't know if I have the flu or some sort of weird food poisoning. Doesn't seem like food poisoning would make sense because it kicked in yesterday at 6:30 am and I hadn't eaten anything since Sunday at 5pm. That's not the normal time span between eating the bad thing and being affected by the bad thing. There is a bug going around my neighborhood - but it's all been sinus and chest related for them. So I'm not sure where I might have been exposed to the flu. And since I wanted to go to my weigh in I decided I'd go to work and do what I could and leave if I needed to. So the weigh in. After dropping the ten pounds earlier in the month, I managed to enjoy my Thanksgiving and was down a mere 3.5 from my previous weigh in. So, overall, I'm down 7 pounds from where I started back in October. Everyone was AMAZED that I managed to lose weight over Thanksgiving. If only they knew! The appt was good. They asked what I did and I told them. (increased my protein) They asked why I wasn't working out at the gym and I told them. (I'd lose weight too easily) The nutritionist asked why I wasn't wanting to lose the weight and I told her. (it's so not that I don't want to lose weight but that my insurance says I must "fail" this program) And then she said ok. I, for reasons unknown to me, met with the nutrionist again yesterday and she at first wanted to coerce me (yes, I'm using that word) into just losing the weight. But I spelled it out for her. It's not that I can't lose this weight on my own. It's that I have never been able to keep it off! Oh...good point. I know I'm fooling myself here but it seems I might have actually gotten through to her yesterday. The Nurse Practitioner I saw yesterday, though. I LIKE HER. I want to see only her from here on out! I LIKE HER A LOT! She understands the insurance joke. She didn't and doesn't want me to screw myself out of this. Her point all along has been "lose 2 to 4 pounds in this next month". 3.5 is good. She did tell me that she thinks I will do very well with this. I think she was also banded - and is doing very well with her weightloss. That's my speculation. I saw three people come in yesterday and ask if she was there. And when the answer was yes, they would then say then I want to see her. I think that speaks volumes! I feel the same way. I didn't have the confusion leaving there like I did last time. I didn't feel like someone was pushing me one way or the other for some reason or another. It was a great visit. Her reasoning for why I will do well? In my first visit she told me to: 1) get my psych consult done 2) get clearance from a cardiologist 3) get a letter of medical necessity from my PCP 4) get a letter of medical necessity from my Ob/Gyn 5) do the nutrition consult at my next visit So I got the ball rolling on all of that stuff immediately. And it was good to not have waited because some of those things required two or three visits and ended up spanning Oct AND Nov. I turned in what I could last month and turned in the last of it this month. She told me usually she says "do this" and then they come in for visit two and she says "do this" and then they come in for visit three and she says "do this" and then they come in for visit four and she says "do this or else" and then they come in for visit five and she says "seriously, if you don't do this, this won't happen". They didn't have to reiterate a single thing with me. The nut said "eat more protein" and I did. Now she says "eat more fiber". Yeah...I'm not really going with that one. I'm plenty regular and it's because of my smoothie that I am. Do I get 30g of fiber a day? Maybe not, I'd have to calculate it out. But I know my body is getting what it needs. Not only do I get that smoothie but I also eat a lot of fiber rich veggies. Now, the one thing I do know is that if this regularity ever changes, then yes, I'll add fiber. But for now, I think I'm alright. And hubby is, too. Anywho. To go on with why she thinks I'll do well - she didn't have to reiterate a single thing. And add to that - I lost weight over Thanksgiving. (If only they knew ). And finally, add to that - I seem to be motivated. So from there I headed to work. Still hadn't ever thrown up but sure felt like I should. Got to work and started to try and settle in. And then I had to run to the bathroom. Got back to work and started to settle in. And then I had to run to the bathroom. And then it happened. For not having had anything to eat in 18 hours (5pm through to 11am) my stomach sure said otherwise! So then I went home. My boss is out today... I'm here again, today. Still feel like crap. But my system is empty so that has helped a bit. From 6:30am yesterday to 6:30 am today I lost just over 7 pounds. Like I said, my system is empty! And that's what I know. I had a question about how this six month program worked. Would I have 7 visits or 6? You'd think - a six month program, that there would be a 7th to close out the 6 months. But no. I only have 6. So I have now completed 3. Which means I'm half way there. Which means I'll be done in March. Which means an April banding could be a possibility - if I get approved and all goes well. :thumbup:

I have had an interesting time since last blogging. Thursday I woke up grumpy as all get out. My hubby and I carpool and for the life of him, that morning, he could do nothing right. I griped and complained and tore new a-holes all while he sat patiently by my side waiting for it to end. Just about the time we were getting to the freeway for our drive in Houston I realized...I was getting a migraine. First one in over two years. I dallyied with the idea of going home but thought, nah, it will all be ok. So we got on the freeway - me still griping away at my sweetheart of a hubby. And we were just about out of Clear Lake when the pain and the auras kicked in. I was done. I turned around and went home. Hubby got back in that same car and went to work. I closed the drapes and the doors and silenced the phone and crawled into bed. And I stayed that way all day with blankets over my head even though the room was pitch black. Yeah, not having a migraine in over two years seems to have led to a build up. Thursday night I was worse than ever and took some of my hard core migraine meds. Those made me feel like crap but the migraine did lessen up a bit. And so when I woke up Friday morning, I decided to take the day again. You see, Friday, in Houston...IT SNOWED! So I figured - why fight the crazy weather and the bad drivers when I still have a bit of a migraine? Turns out I should have gone in. I would have been knocked off at noon - because they understand that no one in Houston knows how to deal with snow and ice. So I would not have had too much time staring at a monitor on Friday. Oh well. Hubby got to come home early, too. And we sat on our couch watching tv, keeping the fire going, while praying that the snow would start to stick. All day on Friday we hovered around 36-38 and so the snow never did stick. But about five miles to the west of us they did have the lower temps and the snow DID stick. I think we would have had about 4 inches if it had stuck, it snowed just about the whole day - started at 8am and didn't stop until 5pm. Oh well. I did apologize to hubby for my crazy behavior Thursday morning, too, and, being the sweet man that he is, said, "It's ok". No...it isn't...but thank you for thinking so. Miraculously, I was fine all weekend. Maybe that's irony. From my employer's perspective, anyway. Yesterday I woke up feeling like general he!!. I got up and ran straight to the toilet. Felt like I had to throw up but I couldn't get my bum off the toilet long enough to make the switch. One of those days. But yesterday was two things. One - it was my third weigh in. Two - it would be my third day off from work if I didn't go in. That's significant because of our sick time policy. We have no limit to the amount of sick days we can take. Of course, you don't want to take any days. But most employers say six days or eight days and leave it at that. My employer says take what you need - but if you are gone three days or more then we want a Dr. note. Fair enough. I didn't really want to go to the dr. Still don't. I don't know if I have the flu or some sort of weird food poisoning. Doesn't seem like food poisoning would make sense because it kicked in yesterday at 6:30 am and I hadn't eaten anything since Sunday at 5pm. That's not the normal time span between eating the bad thing and being affected by the bad thing. There is a bug going around my neighborhood - but it's all been sinus and chest related for them. So I'm not sure where I might have been exposed to the flu. And since I wanted to go to my weigh in I decided I'd go to work and do what I could and leave if I needed to. So the weigh in. After dropping the ten pounds earlier in the month, I managed to enjoy my Thanksgiving and was down a mere 3.5 from my previous weigh in. So, overall, I'm down 7 pounds from where I started back in October. Everyone was AMAZED that I managed to lose weight over Thanksgiving. If only they knew! :crying: The appt was good. They asked what I did and I told them. (increased my protein) They asked why I wasn't working out at the gym and I told them. (I'd lose weight too easily) The nutritionist asked why I wasn't wanting to lose the weight and I told her. (it's so not that I don't want to lose weight but that my insurance says I must "fail" this program) And then she said ok. I, for reasons unknown to me, met with the nutrionist again yesterday and she at first wanted to coerce me (yes, I'm using that word) into just losing the weight. But I spelled it out for her. It's not that I can't lose this weight on my own. It's that I have never been able to keep it off! Oh...good point. I know I'm fooling myself here but it seems I might have actually gotten through to her yesterday. The Nurse Practitioner I saw yesterday, though. I LIKE HER. I want to see only her from here on out! I LIKE HER A LOT! She understands the insurance joke. She didn't and doesn't want me to screw myself out of this. Her point all along has been "lose 2 to 4 pounds in this next month". 3.5 is good. She did tell me that she thinks I will do very well with this. I think she was also banded - and is doing very well with her weightloss. That's my speculation. I saw three people come in yesterday and ask if she was there. And when the answer was yes, they would then say then I want to see her. I think that speaks volumes! I feel the same way. I didn't have the confusion leaving there like I did last time. I didn't feel like someone was pushing me one way or the other for some reason or another. It was a great visit. Her reasoning for why I will do well? In my first visit she told me to: 1) get my psych consult done 2) get clearance from a cardiologist 3) get a letter of medical necessity from my PCP 4) get a letter of medical necessity from my Ob/Gyn 5) do the nutrition consult at my next visit So I got the ball rolling on all of that stuff immediately. And it was good to not have waited because some of those things required two or three visits and ended up spanning Oct AND Nov. I turned in what I could last month and turned in the last of it this month. She told me usually she says "do this" and then they come in for visit two and she says "do this" and then they come in for visit three and she says "do this" and then they come in for visit four and she says "do this or else" and then they come in for visit five and she says "seriously, if you don't do this, this won't happen". They didn't have to reiterate a single thing with me. The nut said "eat more protein" and I did. Now she says "eat more fiber". Yeah...I'm not really going with that one. I'm plenty regular and it's because of my smoothie that I am. Do I get 30g of fiber a day? Maybe not, I'd have to calculate it out. But I know my body is getting what it needs. Not only do I get that smoothie but I also eat a lot of fiber rich veggies. Now, the one thing I do know is that if this regularity ever changes, then yes, I'll add fiber. But for now, I think I'm alright. And hubby is, too. Anywho. To go on with why she thinks I'll do well - she didn't have to reiterate a single thing. And add to that - I lost weight over Thanksgiving. (If only they knew :sad:). And finally, add to that - I seem to be motivated. So from there I headed to work. Still hadn't ever thrown up but sure felt like I should. Got to work and started to try and settle in. And then I had to run to the bathroom. Got back to work and started to settle in. And then I had to run to the bathroom. And then it happened. For not having had anything to eat in 18 hours (5pm through to 11am) my stomach sure said otherwise! So then I went home. My boss is out today... I'm here again, today. Still feel like crap. But my system is empty so that has helped a bit. From 6:30am yesterday to 6:30 am today I lost just over 7 pounds. Like I said, my system is empty! And that's what I know. I had a question about how this six month program worked. Would I have 7 visits or 6? You'd think - a six month program, that there would be a 7th to close out the 6 months. But no. I only have 6. So I have now completed 3. Which means I'm half way there. Which means I'll be done in March. Which means an April banding could be a possibility - if I get approved and all goes well. :sneaky:

All we can do is look forward to the next thing. I am not banded. All I can do is look forward to the day when I am. For those just banded - all you can do is look forward to the day that bandster hell is finally over and weightloss truly begins. For those in weightloss - all you can do is look forward to the day when you hit your goal weight. For those at goal weight - all you can do is look forward to the day that you never gain an ounce back. Doesn't seem so bad to me. I love looking forward to things! And what I look forward to changes daily. That's ok - figuring out new goals and projects is part of the fun of life! What will I be like when this unweightloss program is over? What will I be like when I am banded and mad? What will I be like when I realize there was no reason to be mad and progress IS happening? What will I be like when I realize I AM losing weight for good? Will I remember the frustration of the previous phase and stop worrying? I hope so. I cannot wait to find out! Disclaimer - this is in no way meant to be thorough or complete about all the all-we-can-do's we run into in life or with the band. This is just something to remind me that struggles happen and perspective matters!

All we can do is look forward to the next thing. I am not banded. All I can do is look forward to the day when I am. For those just banded - all you can do is look forward to the day that bandster hell is finally over and weightloss truly begins. For those in weightloss - all you can do is look forward to the day when you hit your goal weight. For those at goal weight - all you can do is look forward to the day that you never gain an ounce back. Doesn't seem so bad to me. I love looking forward to things! And what I look forward to changes daily. That's ok - figuring out new goals and projects is part of the fun of life! What will I be like when this unweightloss program is over? What will I be like when I am banded and mad? What will I be like when I realize there was no reason to be mad and progress IS happening? What will I be like when I realize I AM losing weight for good? Will I remember the frustration of the previous phase and stop worrying? I hope so. I cannot wait to find out! Disclaimer - this is in no way meant to be thorough or complete about all the all-we-can-do's we run into in life or with the band. This is just something to remind me that struggles happen and perspective matters!

Yay!!! Congratulations!!! And you are right - that's awesome! With all that was happening in the last ten weeks you are DEFINITELY doing something right! Keep on keepin on!

So Friday ended up being good. Saturday we slept quite late and got Christmas out of the attic. We got our lights up around the front yard AND the back yard. Our backyard backs up to a "lake" that has a walking path around it so all of the houses on that "lake" put icycle lights on the rod iron fences we all have. And in our yard, we also have our roof outlined with lights like we have in the front yard. It really pops to me and while this is my fourth Christmas in this house, it's the first time my husband has seen it. He did not want to do it the first two years we were together and so they didn't get up. But this year I insisted. I think he thought it was more involved that it is and now that he sees the lights and sees the effort was actually easier than the front yard, he's with me in getting them up every year. This is the first year all the lights have been up in the backyard with the pool in, too, and the way everything is reflecting off of the pool is just gorgeous! Saturday evening we went back to Super-mom's house for another game night, this time together. And we had fun, together, as we always do. And then Sunday was a pure lazy day! It was nice. My FIL stopped in for awhile and we had a nice visit. He is a real estate broker and is helping one of our neighbors (and friends) sell their home as they are relocating to Iowa. We've been getting to see a lot of him as he is coming and going from their house. It's pretty sad, I think, but I was so wrong about the MIL and the FIL. I thought the MIL was awesome and the FIL was an arrogant prick. Turns out the MIL is not awesome. And the FIL is not an arrogant prick, but actually is a nice guy full of funny stories. That's what I get, eh? And now it's back to work. Bleck.

And then MIL turned up. She brought fresh roses for me - and told me it was to make me feel better. I have to chuckle if she thinks that fresh roses makes up for a nothing of a visit. We wanted HER not ROSES! She disappeared out of the kitchen and that was that. We sat down to dinner which was very nice. Everything came together nicely - nothing was under or over cooked and that is always a good thing. Super-mom's husband proclaimed this to be the best Thanksgiving meal he'd ever had. MIL's husband proclaimed that my stuffing is the best he's ever had. In my family we have a tradition of singing "We Gather Together" as our prayer for the meal and everyone joined in with me, so that was pretty cool to me. Everyone ate their hearts out and we were sitting around the table 45 minutes or so after dinner being served when the doorbell rang. It was Hubby's brother and SIL. Yep - HIS brother and HIS SIL. Sorry, I can't quite claim them as anything to me at this point. With their arrival, MIL and her husband excused themselves from the table and headed into the family room to visit with their son and DIL. My Hubby calls his brother "The Good Son" only half-jokingly. I've seen the reason behind that (his step-siblings call him the same thing) in the past - but I REALLY saw the reason behind that this time. I'll just say the MIL would not come in for pie with everyone else (and her husband was not allowed to since she didn't). She would not talk to or associate with anyone else but The Good Son until he left - around 8pm. The Good Son tried to start fights with my Hubby on about three different occasions and twice with me. Other than starting the fights with us, he never really said anything directly to us and his wife would stop talking if she thought we were trying to be in the conversation. Needless to say, it was a very pleasant afternoon. HA! After The Good Son left, MIL and her husband and my Hubby and I just stared at each other for about forty minutes. By then the house had cleared out and it was just the four of us. Eventually the chatting did start. And from there we heated the hot tub and went out for a soak. I used to be able to chatter at my MIL but this visit was just awful. She didn't have anything to say and if she did, it wasn't nice. I, at one point, wanted to tell her about the band but by Thurs evening had decided I didn't want to. Hubby didn't understand and I didn't know how to articulate why, but eventually she asked what my news was and he told her and that was that. Now I know that I didn't want to tell her because I felt like she wasn't (isn't) really going to be supportive. She isn't going to be judgmental, but she isn't' going to be supportive and I don't want to tell anyone who doesn't get it. But like I said, I couldn't articulate that and so Hubby, not knowing better, spilled the beans. He thought he was helping because he was thinking I was mad and therefore was withholding information, and he was thinking that talking about this would get everyone to open up. But that wasn't really the issue. It's a need to know thing and I just don't see that she really needs to know. Anyway, now she knows. And she wasn't judgmental or supportive. So there I go. Their departure Friday morning was as awkward as their visit. On the Friday after Thanksgiving my Hubby and I have a tradition in the works where we make paninis out of all the leftovers. Super-mom and her clan all came back for this event and MIL and her husband knew of these plans and even had to be first in line. They got theirs put together first and promptly ate them while I was grilling the rest of the sandwiches. I had one sandwich left on the grill which was ready to come off but I needed my Hubby's plate (it was his panini) out of the microwave where everything else was being reheated. And MIL and husband had to leave right then. This panini grill I have is a cast iron thing so it's not like you turn the heat off and it stops cooking. I just needed to get that sandwich off the grill and I could walk out with everyone. But they couldn't wait for the five seconds left on the microwave. I did get that sandwich onto the plate and onto the table and then scurried after them to see them off. And MIL's husband promptly told me - oh, don't let me keep you from your food. GRRR!!! It wasn't about that! I DIDN'T WANT TO BURN THE FRIGGIN SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get out of my house then, prick! Ok, calm down, Lori. Sigh.... They got on the road to head off to, as MIL called it "The prestigious wedding". And we got to get back to normal. The rest of Friday was low key and easy. My Hubby had the guys over for a poker game that evening and I went to Super-mom's house to play games with her and her husband. It was a nice evening. Speaking of games, the plan had always been to play games with everyone on Thanksgiving evening and everyone knew it. But while The Good Son was there he decided it was a waste of time - and so MIL and her husband refused to play as well. However, instead of telling us that, they let us continue to wait for them. And ultimately so much time passed that Super-mom's kids were tired and ready for bed. I'm telling you, MIL has lost a lot of my respect. I think what's worst about it is I know how my mom would have been - all this just makes me miss her that much more. She would have been chomping at the bit to get some time with everyone she doesn't get to see and she would have been amenable to the GROUP! She was such a group oriented person. She was so kind and sweet without being a pushover. She was funny and charismatic and she could be friends with EVERYONE, not just the chosen one! I have this standard in my head for a mom to behave like and up until now I thought MIL was somewhat close. But I can't and don't think that anymore and it's disappointing! It's VERY disappointing to end up finding out who you thought was a great MIL is really just an ordinary MIL. I don't want to be one of those when I get there. I want to be a mom like I had. And I want to be a MIL that is open and receptive to EVERYONE in the family! My Hubby, bless his heart, is so used to this that all he can ever do when she does this stuff is say "That's my mother". He has literally given up caring. At least he can't get hurt if he doesn't care. But she is missing out on who he is soooo much. But now here I am joining him. Here I am saying I have to stop caring because I hate how all this felt. I can't continue to crawl out on the limb just to have her saw it off. And while this isn't the first time she's pulled her stunts, it's certainly the worst, in my book. Part 4 coming shortly....

Congratulations on making the decision. I am like you - ready to be banded. I am going through insurance, though, and must deal with the hoops they think are necessary. Are you self-pay or will you have insurance games, too?

Every surgeon is different but from what I hear and read, after a few weeks you will switch to mushies and soft foods. And by Jan 4th you will switch to real food. This isn't a diet that is long lasting, nor is it a diet that is meant for weight loss, per se. It's to allow your stomach and your body to heal. If you eat solid food now you can cause a stitch to pull before your stomach has created the scar tissue that will allow the band to stay put. This "diet" is about healing. It is rough, from what I've read. I am not banded yet and am sure this will be frustrating for me when I get there as well. But if you follow this then you will be in a great place to start getting that coveted restriction and therefore the weightloss. Hang in there - you can do this. When you are starving ask yourself why? Have you had enough protein? Is it head hunger? I think, from what I've observed, that this is a perfect time to be asking yourself the why's and what's behind how you are feeling. Work it out now, not later when it gets even harder. Hang in there - you CAN do this!

So Friday ended up being good. Saturday we slept quite late and got Christmas out of the attic. We got our lights up around the front yard AND the back yard. Our backyard backs up to a "lake" that has a walking path around it so all of the houses on that "lake" put icycle lights on the rod iron fences we all have. And in our yard, we also have our roof outlined with lights like we have in the front yard. It really pops to me and while this is my fourth Christmas in this house, it's the first time my husband has seen it. He did not want to do it the first two years we were together and so they didn't get up. But this year I insisted. I think he thought it was more involved that it is and now that he sees the lights and sees the effort was actually easier than the front yard, he's with me in getting them up every year. This is the first year all the lights have been up in the backyard with the pool in, too, and the way everything is reflecting off of the pool is just gorgeous! Saturday evening we went back to Super-mom's house for another game night, this time together. And we had fun, together, as we always do. And then Sunday was a pure lazy day! It was nice. My FIL stopped in for awhile and we had a nice visit. He is a real estate broker and is helping one of our neighbors (and friends) sell their home as they are relocating to Iowa. We've been getting to see a lot of him as he is coming and going from their house. It's pretty sad, I think, but I was so wrong about the MIL and the FIL. I thought the MIL was awesome and the FIL was an arrogant prick. Turns out the MIL is not awesome. And the FIL is not an arrogant prick, but actually is a nice guy full of funny stories. That's what I get, eh? And now it's back to work. Bleck.

And then MIL turned up. She brought fresh roses for me - and told me it was to make me feel better. I have to chuckle if she thinks that fresh roses makes up for a nothing of a visit. We wanted HER not ROSES! She disappeared out of the kitchen and that was that. We sat down to dinner which was very nice. Everything came together nicely - nothing was under or over cooked and that is always a good thing. Super-mom's husband proclaimed this to be the best Thanksgiving meal he'd ever had. MIL's husband proclaimed that my stuffing is the best he's ever had. In my family we have a tradition of singing "We Gather Together" as our prayer for the meal and everyone joined in with me, so that was pretty cool to me. Everyone ate their hearts out and we were sitting around the table 45 minutes or so after dinner being served when the doorbell rang. It was Hubby's brother and SIL. Yep - HIS brother and HIS SIL. Sorry, I can't quite claim them as anything to me at this point. With their arrival, MIL and her husband excused themselves from the table and headed into the family room to visit with their son and DIL. My Hubby calls his brother "The Good Son" only half-jokingly. I've seen the reason behind that (his step-siblings call him the same thing) in the past - but I REALLY saw the reason behind that this time. I'll just say the MIL would not come in for pie with everyone else (and her husband was not allowed to since she didn't). She would not talk to or associate with anyone else but The Good Son until he left - around 8pm. The Good Son tried to start fights with my Hubby on about three different occasions and twice with me. Other than starting the fights with us, he never really said anything directly to us and his wife would stop talking if she thought we were trying to be in the conversation. Needless to say, it was a very pleasant afternoon. HA! After The Good Son left, MIL and her husband and my Hubby and I just stared at each other for about forty minutes. By then the house had cleared out and it was just the four of us. Eventually the chatting did start. And from there we heated the hot tub and went out for a soak. I used to be able to chatter at my MIL but this visit was just awful. She didn't have anything to say and if she did, it wasn't nice. I, at one point, wanted to tell her about the band but by Thurs evening had decided I didn't want to. Hubby didn't understand and I didn't know how to articulate why, but eventually she asked what my news was and he told her and that was that. Now I know that I didn't want to tell her because I felt like she wasn't (isn't) really going to be supportive. She isn't going to be judgmental, but she isn't' going to be supportive and I don't want to tell anyone who doesn't get it. But like I said, I couldn't articulate that and so Hubby, not knowing better, spilled the beans. He thought he was helping because he was thinking I was mad and therefore was withholding information, and he was thinking that talking about this would get everyone to open up. But that wasn't really the issue. It's a need to know thing and I just don't see that she really needs to know. Anyway, now she knows. And she wasn't judgmental or supportive. So there I go. Their departure Friday morning was as awkward as their visit. On the Friday after Thanksgiving my Hubby and I have a tradition in the works where we make paninis out of all the leftovers. Super-mom and her clan all came back for this event and MIL and her husband knew of these plans and even had to be first in line. They got theirs put together first and promptly ate them while I was grilling the rest of the sandwiches. I had one sandwich left on the grill which was ready to come off but I needed my Hubby's plate (it was his panini) out of the microwave where everything else was being reheated. And MIL and husband had to leave right then. This panini grill I have is a cast iron thing so it's not like you turn the heat off and it stops cooking. I just needed to get that sandwich off the grill and I could walk out with everyone. But they couldn't wait for the five seconds left on the microwave. I did get that sandwich onto the plate and onto the table and then scurried after them to see them off. And MIL's husband promptly told me - oh, don't let me keep you from your food. GRRR!!! It wasn't about that! I DIDN'T WANT TO BURN THE FRIGGIN SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get out of my house then, prick! Ok, calm down, Lori. Sigh.... They got on the road to head off to, as MIL called it "The prestigious wedding". And we got to get back to normal. The rest of Friday was low key and easy. My Hubby had the guys over for a poker game that evening and I went to Super-mom's house to play games with her and her husband. It was a nice evening. Speaking of games, the plan had always been to play games with everyone on Thanksgiving evening and everyone knew it. But while The Good Son was there he decided it was a waste of time - and so MIL and her husband refused to play as well. However, instead of telling us that, they let us continue to wait for them. And ultimately so much time passed that Super-mom's kids were tired and ready for bed. I'm telling you, MIL has lost a lot of my respect. I think what's worst about it is I know how my mom would have been - all this just makes me miss her that much more. She would have been chomping at the bit to get some time with everyone she doesn't get to see and she would have been amenable to the GROUP! She was such a group oriented person. She was so kind and sweet without being a pushover. She was funny and charismatic and she could be friends with EVERYONE, not just the chosen one! I have this standard in my head for a mom to behave like and up until now I thought MIL was somewhat close. But I can't and don't think that anymore and it's disappointing! It's VERY disappointing to end up finding out who you thought was a great MIL is really just an ordinary MIL. I don't want to be one of those when I get there. I want to be a mom like I had. And I want to be a MIL that is open and receptive to EVERYONE in the family! My Hubby, bless his heart, is so used to this that all he can ever do when she does this stuff is say "That's my mother". He has literally given up caring. At least he can't get hurt if he doesn't care. But she is missing out on who he is soooo much. But now here I am joining him. Here I am saying I have to stop caring because I hate how all this felt. I can't continue to crawl out on the limb just to have her saw it off. And while this isn't the first time she's pulled her stunts, it's certainly the worst, in my book. Part 4 coming shortly....

All through last week I averaged one meal a day and I was never hungry. It's interesting to me when I have time periods like this. I kept expecting to wake up, get on the scale as I always do, and to see a drop in weight. But all through the week I never did. I was not eating crap, per se, but I was not holding back, either - as losing weight is somehow or another not what I want to be doing right now. Ok, said that wrong. I DO want to. But I can't. Not physically can't - but in terms of eligibility... Anywho. :thumbup: Monday was a rather lazy day. My hubby and I ran some errands but we were around the house and just chillin, too. Monday was the only day that was rather calm like that, so that was a bit of a surprise. After the weekend we had, we did sleep quite late on Monday. Tuesday was a trip to the grocery store and a few more odds and ends of errands. Not much else excitement that day. Wednesday was a neighbor and I taking another neighbor out for her birthday. The birthday girl is a mother of five with kids ranging from just about a year old up to 9 years. She never gets to have me-time because her husband is in the middle of getting his business off the ground. So we stole her away and took her for a pedicure, something she has not had since quite awhile before her baby was born. And from there we went to a local place called the Charleston Tea Room. I was expecting tea and scones and finger sandwiches but it was really just a sandwich shop that had two flavors of iced teas and the full assortment of hot teas. Given that this is Texas, though - after having the quite chilly weekend, this particular day was in the low-70's and everyone was drinking iced tea. They say in Texas - if you don't like the weather you have two options. 1) wait ten minutes. 2) drive ten miles. It's true. :sleep: We stopped at a shop that was right next door and perused their incredibly over-priced junk, too. This shop wanted to be an upscale sort of affair and it was just more of the same ol' same ol' with prices that averaged twice as much as most other places. They were in the middle of a "huge sale" in efforts to get people to spend some money there. There was tons of foot traffic and not one single person buying any of the stuff. I figure - if they want to get some income going, they need to drop the prices. Unfortunately, as we walked in the door they hit us with their "select savings program" and email addresses were given. We all thought the store looked cute and like our own styles so we gladly gave over those precious email addresses. And then we started looking and saw wall sconces - average quality wall sconces - selling for $185 EACH! Eventually it was time to wander home as the babies were getting hungry. So I got home and grabbed the Hubby and said come on, les go. He dutifully put on some shoes and we headed out for something or another. At this point, I can't tell you where we went or what we did - but I know I enjoyed the afternoon with my sweetheart! When we got back home I grabbed all the pie making ingredients and headed over to super-Mom's house to bake pies. We made two pumpkins, a pecan and a buttermilk pecan. We then peeled and cut up the potatoes (10lbs) to leave them soaking in water and got the green beans all snapped and cleaned. I headed back home with the potatoes and the green beans and I pre-made the green beans so they'd be ready to toss in the green bean casserole. In the past I've always used canned green beans for that casserole and decided this year to do fresh as I generally like them better. Oh how the flavor was packing in that dish. I will never used canned again! I also pre-made the pudding for a Banana Cream Pie for my Hubby and whipped up the cranberry relish. Thursday it was up at 7am to get the stuffing started. Super-Mom came over to help out while the children slept the morning away. She did bring her oldest daughter along. I've been told that when the oldest daughter gets a few more years under her belt she will be coming to me for cooking lessons. This neighborhood of mine thinks I am a gourmet chef. It's flattering that they like my food but truth be told - I just follow recipes. I'm just really good about trying new things and new techniques. That is the only thing that sets me apart. Yes, I have developed a few of my own things and I always adapt recipes to my own styles. But I generally always have a starting point from someone or something else. We got the stuffing done and I rubbed the bird with a fennel seed, coriander seed and black peppercorn mix. With the bird cleaned and stuffed and nestled nicely in the roasting pan he went in the backyard on the grill. I was amazed at how quickly that bird cooked. A 22 pound bird plus and it was done in a little over two hours. We actually dropped the temperature quite a bit to get the cooking to slow down but the bird was out by about 12:30. From there we got the rest of the veggies chopped. I make a broccoli rice casserole and a cauliflower gratin. Those veggies all were steamed and ready to go for later. The sweet potatoes had been cooked the night before and with them now cold they then were peeled and ready as well. I went ahead and made the rice for the broccoli rice casserole and chopped and grated and minced whatever I could. And then it was break time. Super-mom went back across the street and Hubby and I headed south to put a fresh set of flowers on his grandmother's grave. I wish I could have met this woman - I think she is the sole reason why my Hubby is such a gracious sharing easy-going human being. She taught him his manners and insisted on keeping him in line. I have now learned so much about his mother but I cannot say any of the good qualities in my Hubby can be attributed to her. He has never claimed that, and in fact has always claimed his grandmother was more of an influence on his good upbringing than anyone else. I always thought, ah, well, MIL HAS to have been a good influence. But with the unfolding of the past few weeks and especially Thursday, I can't claim otherwise now. On a very personal note I always ask my Hubby who I'm most like - mother, step-mother or grandmother. And luckily for me, he does not think I'm like his mom. Don't get me wrong, she has some great qualities - but mothering was not one of them. On the same token, my Hubby is most like, personality wise, my own Mom - that easy-going thing being one of the greatest characteristics. Anywho... We cleaned up the grave site a bit and shoo-ed away the ants with some fire ant killer. And with the fresh flowers placed there was a touching moment where I was glad to be alone with my Hubby. We are usually there with the in-law's... From there we headed back home and then the kitchen turned into a whirlwind of activity. My sweet Hubby set the table and opened the wines and cleaned up behind Super-mom and I. He would also get either of us a cup of this or that on request. I finished off the cauliflower gratin (the most amazing cauliflower dish you'll ever eat!) and made the gravy. I chopped and chopped for the waldorf salad and got the biscuits ready to go. We made the Red Lobster biscuits and Super-mom was surprised at how easy they are. I'm telling you, it's just about trying the recipes... Super-mom whipped up the mashed potatoes and the yams. And she assembled the broccoli rice casserole. Hubby put together the green bean casserole and everything went in the oven. Back for part 3 in a jiffy... :sleep2:

All through last week I averaged one meal a day and I was never hungry. It's interesting to me when I have time periods like this. I kept expecting to wake up, get on the scale as I always do, and to see a drop in weight. But all through the week I never did. I was not eating crap, per se, but I was not holding back, either - as losing weight is somehow or another not what I want to be doing right now. Ok, said that wrong. I DO want to. But I can't. Not physically can't - but in terms of eligibility... Anywho. :thumbup: Monday was a rather lazy day. My hubby and I ran some errands but we were around the house and just chillin, too. Monday was the only day that was rather calm like that, so that was a bit of a surprise. After the weekend we had, we did sleep quite late on Monday. Tuesday was a trip to the grocery store and a few more odds and ends of errands. Not much else excitement that day. Wednesday was a neighbor and I taking another neighbor out for her birthday. The birthday girl is a mother of five with kids ranging from just about a year old up to 9 years. She never gets to have me-time because her husband is in the middle of getting his business off the ground. So we stole her away and took her for a pedicure, something she has not had since quite awhile before her baby was born. And from there we went to a local place called the Charleston Tea Room. I was expecting tea and scones and finger sandwiches but it was really just a sandwich shop that had two flavors of iced teas and the full assortment of hot teas. Given that this is Texas, though - after having the quite chilly weekend, this particular day was in the low-70's and everyone was drinking iced tea. They say in Texas - if you don't like the weather you have two options. 1) wait ten minutes. 2) drive ten miles. It's true. :sleep: We stopped at a shop that was right next door and perused their incredibly over-priced junk, too. This shop wanted to be an upscale sort of affair and it was just more of the same ol' same ol' with prices that averaged twice as much as most other places. They were in the middle of a "huge sale" in efforts to get people to spend some money there. There was tons of foot traffic and not one single person buying any of the stuff. I figure - if they want to get some income going, they need to drop the prices. Unfortunately, as we walked in the door they hit us with their "select savings program" and email addresses were given. We all thought the store looked cute and like our own styles so we gladly gave over those precious email addresses. And then we started looking and saw wall sconces - average quality wall sconces - selling for $185 EACH! Eventually it was time to wander home as the babies were getting hungry. So I got home and grabbed the Hubby and said come on, les go. He dutifully put on some shoes and we headed out for something or another. At this point, I can't tell you where we went or what we did - but I know I enjoyed the afternoon with my sweetheart! When we got back home I grabbed all the pie making ingredients and headed over to super-Mom's house to bake pies. We made two pumpkins, a pecan and a buttermilk pecan. We then peeled and cut up the potatoes (10lbs) to leave them soaking in water and got the green beans all snapped and cleaned. I headed back home with the potatoes and the green beans and I pre-made the green beans so they'd be ready to toss in the green bean casserole. In the past I've always used canned green beans for that casserole and decided this year to do fresh as I generally like them better. Oh how the flavor was packing in that dish. I will never used canned again! I also pre-made the pudding for a Banana Cream Pie for my Hubby and whipped up the cranberry relish. Thursday it was up at 7am to get the stuffing started. Super-Mom came over to help out while the children slept the morning away. She did bring her oldest daughter along. I've been told that when the oldest daughter gets a few more years under her belt she will be coming to me for cooking lessons. This neighborhood of mine thinks I am a gourmet chef. It's flattering that they like my food but truth be told - I just follow recipes. I'm just really good about trying new things and new techniques. That is the only thing that sets me apart. Yes, I have developed a few of my own things and I always adapt recipes to my own styles. But I generally always have a starting point from someone or something else. We got the stuffing done and I rubbed the bird with a fennel seed, coriander seed and black peppercorn mix. With the bird cleaned and stuffed and nestled nicely in the roasting pan he went in the backyard on the grill. I was amazed at how quickly that bird cooked. A 22 pound bird plus and it was done in a little over two hours. We actually dropped the temperature quite a bit to get the cooking to slow down but the bird was out by about 12:30. From there we got the rest of the veggies chopped. I make a broccoli rice casserole and a cauliflower gratin. Those veggies all were steamed and ready to go for later. The sweet potatoes had been cooked the night before and with them now cold they then were peeled and ready as well. I went ahead and made the rice for the broccoli rice casserole and chopped and grated and minced whatever I could. And then it was break time. Super-mom went back across the street and Hubby and I headed south to put a fresh set of flowers on his grandmother's grave. I wish I could have met this woman - I think she is the sole reason why my Hubby is such a gracious sharing easy-going human being. She taught him his manners and insisted on keeping him in line. I have now learned so much about his mother but I cannot say any of the good qualities in my Hubby can be attributed to her. He has never claimed that, and in fact has always claimed his grandmother was more of an influence on his good upbringing than anyone else. I always thought, ah, well, MIL HAS to have been a good influence. But with the unfolding of the past few weeks and especially Thursday, I can't claim otherwise now. On a very personal note I always ask my Hubby who I'm most like - mother, step-mother or grandmother. And luckily for me, he does not think I'm like his mom. Don't get me wrong, she has some great qualities - but mothering was not one of them. On the same token, my Hubby is most like, personality wise, my own Mom - that easy-going thing being one of the greatest characteristics. Anywho... We cleaned up the grave site a bit and shoo-ed away the ants with some fire ant killer. And with the fresh flowers placed there was a touching moment where I was glad to be alone with my Hubby. We are usually there with the in-law's... From there we headed back home and then the kitchen turned into a whirlwind of activity. My sweet Hubby set the table and opened the wines and cleaned up behind Super-mom and I. He would also get either of us a cup of this or that on request. I finished off the cauliflower gratin (the most amazing cauliflower dish you'll ever eat!) and made the gravy. I chopped and chopped for the waldorf salad and got the biscuits ready to go. We made the Red Lobster biscuits and Super-mom was surprised at how easy they are. I'm telling you, it's just about trying the recipes... Super-mom whipped up the mashed potatoes and the yams. And she assembled the broccoli rice casserole. Hubby put together the green bean casserole and everything went in the oven. Back for part 3 in a jiffy... :sleep2:

This is quite long so I'm sure this will end up in multiple parts. But I was gone for a week, so it is what it is. Taking last week off was heaven. And now I'm glad to be back at work so that I can relax. :sleep: Overallw we had a fantastic Thanksgiving and I had so much fun getting ready for it. It all started with Friday night. My hubby and I got some movies on the way home from work and curled up on the couch to watch them. It was a nice evening - although late as we didn't sit down to watch those movies until after 10pm and I had to be up at 8am the next morning... Saturday - didn't make that 8am wake up call. Nor did I make the 9am wake up call. :sleep2: Around about 9:45 I finally did drag my sleepy bum out of bed and I hightailed it around the house to get packed and sorted for what Hubby needed to bring up for me - and then I headed out to pick up the best friend from college so we could return to our old stomping grounds for a football game against Baylor. It was downright chilly in the stadium. It misted and spitted on us all the way up to College Station and we were not prepared for wet weather as ALL reports said the rain would be gone by noon. Kick off was at 2:30 so we didn't take along anything to help keep us dry. But at 2:30 - the hissing and spitting and misting was still in full force. Added to that just-enough-to-get-you-damp factor was a breeze that was blowing the 53 degree air straight into us from all directions. It was chilly. And who in the world prepares for a chilly game...in November...IN TEXAS? We shouldn't have weather like this until January! :cool: Love global warming. But I won't get on that soapbox... The game was good. And although it was only Baylor we won anyway. We are rebuilding our program right now and it always feels like - ok, we are finally turning things around - and then something like Baylor will come along and blow that all away. But we won. And we played a good game. I never expected much out of this season. Our program was so devastated by our last coach and this coach is just finishing his second year. Next year I expect to see real progress...as the players mature and all that. And with the Sat game against Baylor and the Thursday (Thanksgiviing) game against tu (that's what Ags call UT-Austin, in case you were wondering) I am seeing something that will be a lot more fun to watch next year. Anywho, I'll get off this soapbox now, too. I had a great time with my long lost friend from college. We live fairly close - but it's just far enough away...she is on the north side of Houston and I'm on the south side...so we don't see each other nearly as much as we'd like. I told her all about the lap-band because I knew she wouldn't judge. We've both had a lot of laughs at my fat-scapades and I know she'll support this decision and even life after banding. She has always insisted - prior to this year - that I'm not as fat as I think I am and we had a good laugh when I said "I think I finally really am fat". She could no longer argue with me. It was actually pretty cute and believe it or not, it affirmed me in this decision. She's never been one to lie to me about how twisted my self-image is. Nor do I with her. 'Tis part of why we are such great friends - how often do you find someone you can REALLY be honest with? Brutally honest. And have them love you more for it? Anywho. After the game we headed back to H-town where I dropped her off at home. And from there I headed to my SIL's house where I met back up with my hubby. We played a game called "Apples to Apples" into the wee hours of the morning. That was a fun game. My hubby and I stayed up with the SIL until well after 4:30 am talking about the changes that marriage requires. My hubby and I have been married about a year and a half and still have tons to learn. But we were both surprised by the fact that on May 10th when we said "I do" - everything CHANGED. We lived together for a year before getting married and thought we had it all in the bag since we had already combined our lives. SIL is now going through the same thing with her new hubby. And she was quite relieved to know - it's normal. My hubby and I say that it was after our first anniversary that we actually got into what we had expected our "honeymoon phase" to be like. After our three hours of sleep we got up and got all dolled up for the reception of the SIL and her new hubby. And then we headed off for downtown Houston where a restaurant's upstairs had been rented out for the event. Friday night I ended up finding a perky pink sweater that my husband claimed was flattering on me. He's so sweet. I don't know that I agree - but it wasn't hideous like everything else I'd seen the evening before. That's the last thing I'll buy at this size. That sweater will do well for Christmas and anything else that might come along for the next few months. It's not a heavy sweater at all, so it can work with multiple seasons. The reception on Sunday was fun. We enjoyed being with the family for the few hours and also were glad to get on the road for home late in the afternoon. We live about an hour south of Houston so we were exhausted by the time we made it home around 6 that evening. And from there Hubby and a neighbor had signed me up for making them a rack of lamb. I served that with Greek potatoes and roasted green beans. Suffice it to say, it was a very late dinner. Be back with part 2 next... :thumbup:

This is quite long so I'm sure this will end up in multiple parts. But I was gone for a week, so it is what it is. Taking last week off was heaven. And now I'm glad to be back at work so that I can relax. :sleep: Overallw we had a fantastic Thanksgiving and I had so much fun getting ready for it. It all started with Friday night. My hubby and I got some movies on the way home from work and curled up on the couch to watch them. It was a nice evening - although late as we didn't sit down to watch those movies until after 10pm and I had to be up at 8am the next morning... Saturday - didn't make that 8am wake up call. Nor did I make the 9am wake up call. :sleep2: Around about 9:45 I finally did drag my sleepy bum out of bed and I hightailed it around the house to get packed and sorted for what Hubby needed to bring up for me - and then I headed out to pick up the best friend from college so we could return to our old stomping grounds for a football game against Baylor. It was downright chilly in the stadium. It misted and spitted on us all the way up to College Station and we were not prepared for wet weather as ALL reports said the rain would be gone by noon. Kick off was at 2:30 so we didn't take along anything to help keep us dry. But at 2:30 - the hissing and spitting and misting was still in full force. Added to that just-enough-to-get-you-damp factor was a breeze that was blowing the 53 degree air straight into us from all directions. It was chilly. And who in the world prepares for a chilly game...in November...IN TEXAS? We shouldn't have weather like this until January! :cool: Love global warming. But I won't get on that soapbox... The game was good. And although it was only Baylor we won anyway. We are rebuilding our program right now and it always feels like - ok, we are finally turning things around - and then something like Baylor will come along and blow that all away. But we won. And we played a good game. I never expected much out of this season. Our program was so devastated by our last coach and this coach is just finishing his second year. Next year I expect to see real progress...as the players mature and all that. And with the Sat game against Baylor and the Thursday (Thanksgiviing) game against tu (that's what Ags call UT-Austin, in case you were wondering) I am seeing something that will be a lot more fun to watch next year. Anywho, I'll get off this soapbox now, too. I had a great time with my long lost friend from college. We live fairly close - but it's just far enough away...she is on the north side of Houston and I'm on the south side...so we don't see each other nearly as much as we'd like. I told her all about the lap-band because I knew she wouldn't judge. We've both had a lot of laughs at my fat-scapades and I know she'll support this decision and even life after banding. She has always insisted - prior to this year - that I'm not as fat as I think I am and we had a good laugh when I said "I think I finally really am fat". She could no longer argue with me. It was actually pretty cute and believe it or not, it affirmed me in this decision. She's never been one to lie to me about how twisted my self-image is. Nor do I with her. 'Tis part of why we are such great friends - how often do you find someone you can REALLY be honest with? Brutally honest. And have them love you more for it? Anywho. After the game we headed back to H-town where I dropped her off at home. And from there I headed to my SIL's house where I met back up with my hubby. We played a game called "Apples to Apples" into the wee hours of the morning. That was a fun game. My hubby and I stayed up with the SIL until well after 4:30 am talking about the changes that marriage requires. My hubby and I have been married about a year and a half and still have tons to learn. But we were both surprised by the fact that on May 10th when we said "I do" - everything CHANGED. We lived together for a year before getting married and thought we had it all in the bag since we had already combined our lives. SIL is now going through the same thing with her new hubby. And she was quite relieved to know - it's normal. My hubby and I say that it was after our first anniversary that we actually got into what we had expected our "honeymoon phase" to be like. After our three hours of sleep we got up and got all dolled up for the reception of the SIL and her new hubby. And then we headed off for downtown Houston where a restaurant's upstairs had been rented out for the event. Friday night I ended up finding a perky pink sweater that my husband claimed was flattering on me. He's so sweet. I don't know that I agree - but it wasn't hideous like everything else I'd seen the evening before. That's the last thing I'll buy at this size. That sweater will do well for Christmas and anything else that might come along for the next few months. It's not a heavy sweater at all, so it can work with multiple seasons. The reception on Sunday was fun. We enjoyed being with the family for the few hours and also were glad to get on the road for home late in the afternoon. We live about an hour south of Houston so we were exhausted by the time we made it home around 6 that evening. And from there Hubby and a neighbor had signed me up for making them a rack of lamb. I served that with Greek potatoes and roasted green beans. Suffice it to say, it was a very late dinner. Be back with part 2 next... :thumbup:

So I am on the "unweightloss" program right now. When I finally was able to see my insurance company's policy regarding weightloss surgery I read in exact terms this: Failure of medical management including evidence of active participation within the last two years in a weight-management program that is supervised either by a physician or a registered dietician for a minimum of six months without significant gaps. This is frustrating to say the least. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. I am seriously struggling with this. In fact, with just changing my diet and not even my exercise levels, I seem to have misplaced TEN pounds over the past four days! I knew it was coming. My weight issues have always revolved around my hormone inbalances created by being a wonderful glorious woman (said dripping with sarcasm). Once a month - lasting for about a week - no matter what I do, I can't lose a single ounce. Once a month - lasting for about three days - no matter what I do, I gain five to seven pounds. And for the rest of the month, the weight melts off of me when I am behaving. Before I really discovered the trends and understood my body, this would get frustrating beyond all get out. But it's not so frustrating anymore. Now I can muscle down and just keep doing what I'm doing and know that when my hormones balance back out, I will be down. I have said before that my weight gains have always come when I get off of birth control. It's that hormone fluctuation that makes my body go crazy. So I'm off birth control, I'm regular, and I'm "normal", too. HA! I knew, because of where I am in my cycle, that I'd see a drop this week. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT DROP TO BE TEN FRIGGIN POUNDS! That TEN pounds puts my BMI below 40 - therefore making me ineligible. So...I have to gain it back. Yes, you heard me. I have to gain it back. I really have no choice. Unless I forego this and say "I can do this by myself". I have no doubt that "I can do this by myself". I do doubt that I can keep it off by myself. Which is why I'm here. :thumbup: I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. Sigh. I don't want to gain it back. I DON WANNA! THIS IS SO STUPID! :biggrin:

TGIF. TGI Friday AND the last day before a week off! It's just a great day all around! Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I usually even enjoy it. I just love to spend my time with my hubby and family and friends MORE! So a few things I want to pontificate on today... 1) the whole not drinking while you eat thing. I want to know why this is? Some people say it's because you feel full faster if you drink water while you eat and that means you get less nutrition in since you "fill up faster". Other people say it's because the water lets the food slide right through and you end up eating more. So which is the truth? Interestingly enough...I don't care, to be honest. If it's something I'm not supposed to do - I won't. I thought I would struggle with this major change so I'm trying to change it now - while it still "doesn't matter". And turns out...I LIKE not drinking with my meals. Take lunch for example. I keep a ginormous cup of ice water beside me throughout the day. And I have been trying this don't drink for half an hour before, during or half an hour after. Side note. I see some docs say half hours before and after. Others say hour before and after. And finally, the last group say half hour before or hour after. This leads me to question the scientific methodology behind this recommendation. But that's me and my science brain at work...and my brain is all for science... Anywho...so I am doing the half hour thing. And I am now finding that I can eat less lunch. Not because I feel full sooner. But actually because I get to keep the taste of the food in my mouth longer. When I drink water with each bite - I wash down the wonderful flavors of what I was eating. So I eat more - to get more of the flavors. So now that I'm not washing those flavors away, I find I don't chase the flavor any longer. INTERESTING! Dinner is my one stretch. I am not opposed to some beer or wine with dinner on occasion. And when that wine glass is sitting above my fork - I do tend to continue to pick it up. Furthermore - that half hour before and after thing flies out the window when the wine glass or beer mug is there. And...breakfast...is generally a smoothie anyway. So sorry. I can't NOT drink with breakfast... Breakfast has always been an interesting thing with me. As a kid I adamantly refused to eat the meal. My mom would feel guilty for sending me off to school without a meal - even though I insisted so she would force feed me. On the rare occasion when she did successfully force feed me - the teacher/principal would be calling around 10:30 AM saying I was sick. To this day - if I eat breakfast - a meal before 10AM - I will get sick. A smoothie is the one thing that will not make me sick. And my mom tried everything. A bowl of cereal. Eggs and bacon. Waffles. Oatmeal. Pancakes. Fruit. You name it. It ALL made me sick. If she sent me to school without that - according to the medical world - required - meal, I was fine. So around about the time I was 7 or 8 - she just gave up - and I stopped getting sick! I can eat breakfast foods. It's not the food that is the issue. It is eating something before 10AM. Funny stuff. But like I said - I drink breakfast. And so I can't follow that no drinking before during and after thing...cause...well... I will be curious to see how I develop with the band when I get there. Some people are tight in the morning. Some are tight in the evening. I fully expect to be tightin the morning. I mean tight. So I don't expect this to change much for the "better". Next thing... 2) I had to go shopping last night. It was fun - for the most part. My husband and I have been in skimp mode this year and so have not done much of any shopping at all. My SIL is having her wedding reception this weekend and I realized I have nothing appropriate to wear to such events. It's just a reception - but all of my clothes that fit are either way too casual or black. So I thought 'I'll just get a little dress that I can wear to this and all the Christmas parties that are about to start'. HAHAHA:lol::tt2: Apparently fat people are not supposed to wear dresses this season. I went in plus size stores and NO dresses whatsoever were on the racks. I went to Macy's and Dillards to their plus size sections - and no dresses whatsoever were on the racks. Macys had one rack in their formal wear that had some quite hideous dresses to choose from. Four, to be exact. And they were all over $100. For a dress I plan to wear three times TOTAL - I don't think so! Not spending that much money on something hideous on the rack that will look even worse on me! Prior to this summer I could still get dresses in the regular sizes but for some reason, over the summer, my stomach ballooned out. And I have no choice but to do plus sizes now. I know there are tons of options online - but this reception is on Sunday. It was just on Weds when I turned to my hubby and said "what are you going to wear on Sunday?" You see...I was not anticipating a full on get decked out wedding reception. The SIL and her new hubby (for reasons unknown to us) had to rush off to Las Vegas THIS month to get married RIGHT NOW. Hmmm...that leaves a lot of room for speculation. When you have rush rush weddings like that - you don't generally have the formal types of receptions. In fact, from what I know (which isn't right or wrong), they are generally casual parties in which people get together and have fun. Yeah.. :huh2: Hubby says "my suit". I say "your what?" :ohmy: My suit, he says. Well, maybe just the slacks, a long sleeve button down and a tie. What, I say? I didn't figure it would be jeans and t-shirts - but given the restaurant they rented out, I was thinking business casual was quite appropriate. Nope. Business formal. I have no business formal that fits. I have tons of clothes. But I have four pairs of slacks and about eight shirts to choose from right now. AND I DO NOT WANT TO BUY MORE! My next clothes purchases will be in the sizes of 10 and below - cause I still have tons of 12's, 14's, 16's and 18's. I will not buy another 20! And so, perusing the stores last night - turns out, I can't buy another 20 anyway. There was NOTHING to choose from. I've decided I'm going to wear my black slacks with a nice blouse - give up on the dress idea. So I need to go out again tonight to get a blouse. But I do have to buy a new blouse. All the blouses I have are black or black and white. I am certain I will never live down wearing black to the reception - even if it is what we think (yes WE) of this marriage. Parents, siblings, everyone - strongly against this...but what do you do? And I have to go tonight to get this blouse...whatever blouse it might be. Tomorrow I get to go to my one Aggie game of the season. I am a season ticket holder for Texas A&M football. I love my Aggie football and have missed all the games this season for a variety of reasons. I don't know that I could do them, anyway. A&M is "home of the 12th Man" which means we stand through the entire game. Being heavier than ever, I don't think my feet would tolerate this at all right now. I am sure I will be feeling this on Sunday - but the one thing I can say is at least I'll get in one game this season. And I'll spend the day with my best friend from college - someone whom I've not seen much of this whole year. I am looking forward to some time with her. Following that, my hubby and I are meeting up at the SIL's house on the north side of town to spend the night. It will be SIL and her new hubby, the other SIL and her fiance and my hubby and I. I am looking forward to some time with these peeps as I genuinely like them but still don't know them all that well, even though I've been around now for almost three years. It should be fun - and then we'll all get up on Sunday and get dressed to the nines to head off to SIL's wedding reception. Forgot a little tidbit there. SIL is wearing her wedding dress to this shindig. My hubby knew that - but I did not. And her new hubby is wearing his tux. So this isn't just a fun little congratulatory party after all... But who cares. TGIF!!!!! Especially THIS one! :party::cheers2::party: Grr..for who knows what reason this stupid thing won't let me have TGIF in the title ALL capitalized! This is the last time I try and edit this...and if it works then this note is for nothing...

Good to know about the Herbalife Formula 1. Did you try Nature's Best Isopure zero carb? My hubby and I wandered into a GNC last night to check prices so we could compare to an online place and got some individual serving bottles of four different flavors. Not so bad going down - but the after taste made me screech. I think I could do the unflavored mixed into things...but not sure, either. Will try Herbalife and see where that goes... More importantly, though - YOU CAN DO THIS! Every time you crave something - ask if the taste of the food is more important than your health. As you know you will have to adjust after the band - but you will probably also still get a bite or two of that something you want, too. This isn't about deprivation, it's about portion control. You WILL still be able to eat - but from what I can tell thus far - your attitude about eating will change and you will become a new you. I'm preaching, so I'm sorry for that - but I just want to make sure you are getting the message. You can do this. You control the food, not vice versa. And thanks for the informative post, too!

TGIF. TGI Friday AND the last day before a week off! It's just a great day all around! Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I usually even enjoy it. I just love to spend my time with my hubby and family and friends MORE! So a few things I want to pontificate on today... 1) the whole not drinking while you eat thing. I want to know why this is? Some people say it's because you feel full faster if you drink water while you eat and that means you get less nutrition in since you "fill up faster". Other people say it's because the water lets the food slide right through and you end up eating more. So which is the truth? Interestingly enough...I don't care, to be honest. If it's something I'm not supposed to do - I won't. I thought I would struggle with this major change so I'm trying to change it now - while it still "doesn't matter". And turns out...I LIKE not drinking with my meals. Take lunch for example. I keep a ginormous cup of ice water beside me throughout the day. And I have been trying this don't drink for half an hour before, during or half an hour after. Side note. I see some docs say half hours before and after. Others say hour before and after. And finally, the last group say half hour before or hour after. This leads me to question the scientific methodology behind this recommendation. But that's me and my science brain at work...and my brain is all for science... Anywho...so I am doing the half hour thing. And I am now finding that I can eat less lunch. Not because I feel full sooner. But actually because I get to keep the taste of the food in my mouth longer. When I drink water with each bite - I wash down the wonderful flavors of what I was eating. So I eat more - to get more of the flavors. So now that I'm not washing those flavors away, I find I don't chase the flavor any longer. INTERESTING! Dinner is my one stretch. I am not opposed to some beer or wine with dinner on occasion. And when that wine glass is sitting above my fork - I do tend to continue to pick it up. Furthermore - that half hour before and after thing flies out the window when the wine glass or beer mug is there. And...breakfast...is generally a smoothie anyway. So sorry. I can't NOT drink with breakfast... Breakfast has always been an interesting thing with me. As a kid I adamantly refused to eat the meal. My mom would feel guilty for sending me off to school without a meal - even though I insisted so she would force feed me. On the rare occasion when she did successfully force feed me - the teacher/principal would be calling around 10:30 AM saying I was sick. To this day - if I eat breakfast - a meal before 10AM - I will get sick. A smoothie is the one thing that will not make me sick. And my mom tried everything. A bowl of cereal. Eggs and bacon. Waffles. Oatmeal. Pancakes. Fruit. You name it. It ALL made me sick. If she sent me to school without that - according to the medical world - required - meal, I was fine. So around about the time I was 7 or 8 - she just gave up - and I stopped getting sick! I can eat breakfast foods. It's not the food that is the issue. It is eating something before 10AM. Funny stuff. But like I said - I drink breakfast. And so I can't follow that no drinking before during and after thing...cause...well... I will be curious to see how I develop with the band when I get there. Some people are tight in the morning. Some are tight in the evening. I fully expect to be tightin the morning. I mean tight. So I don't expect this to change much for the "better". Next thing... 2) I had to go shopping last night. It was fun - for the most part. My husband and I have been in skimp mode this year and so have not done much of any shopping at all. My SIL is having her wedding reception this weekend and I realized I have nothing appropriate to wear to such events. It's just a reception - but all of my clothes that fit are either way too casual or black. So I thought 'I'll just get a little dress that I can wear to this and all the Christmas parties that are about to start'. HAHAHA:lol::tt2: Apparently fat people are not supposed to wear dresses this season. I went in plus size stores and NO dresses whatsoever were on the racks. I went to Macy's and Dillards to their plus size sections - and no dresses whatsoever were on the racks. Macys had one rack in their formal wear that had some quite hideous dresses to choose from. Four, to be exact. And they were all over $100. For a dress I plan to wear three times TOTAL - I don't think so! Not spending that much money on something hideous on the rack that will look even worse on me! Prior to this summer I could still get dresses in the regular sizes but for some reason, over the summer, my stomach ballooned out. And I have no choice but to do plus sizes now. I know there are tons of options online - but this reception is on Sunday. :biggrin: It was just on Weds when I turned to my hubby and said "what are you going to wear on Sunday?" You see...I was not anticipating a full on get decked out wedding reception. The SIL and her new hubby (for reasons unknown to us) had to rush off to Las Vegas THIS month to get married RIGHT NOW. Hmmm...that leaves a lot of room for speculation. When you have rush rush weddings like that - you don't generally have the formal types of receptions. In fact, from what I know (which isn't right or wrong), they are generally casual parties in which people get together and have fun. Yeah.. :huh2: Hubby says "my suit". I say "your what?" :ohmy: My suit, he says. Well, maybe just the slacks, a long sleeve button down and a tie. What, I say? I didn't figure it would be jeans and t-shirts - but given the restaurant they rented out, I was thinking business casual was quite appropriate. Nope. Business formal. I have no business formal that fits. I have tons of clothes. But I have four pairs of slacks and about eight shirts to choose from right now. AND I DO NOT WANT TO BUY MORE! My next clothes purchases will be in the sizes of 10 and below - cause I still have tons of 12's, 14's, 16's and 18's. I will not buy another 20! And so, perusing the stores last night - turns out, I can't buy another 20 anyway. There was NOTHING to choose from. I've decided I'm going to wear my black slacks with a nice blouse - give up on the dress idea. So I need to go out again tonight to get a blouse. But I do have to buy a new blouse. All the blouses I have are black or black and white. I am certain I will never live down wearing black to the reception - even if it is what we think (yes WE) of this marriage. Parents, siblings, everyone - strongly against this...but what do you do? And I have to go tonight to get this blouse...whatever blouse it might be. Tomorrow I get to go to my one Aggie game of the season. I am a season ticket holder for Texas A&M football. I love my Aggie football and have missed all the games this season for a variety of reasons. I don't know that I could do them, anyway. A&M is "home of the 12th Man" which means we stand through the entire game. Being heavier than ever, I don't think my feet would tolerate this at all right now. I am sure I will be feeling this on Sunday - but the one thing I can say is at least I'll get in one game this season. And I'll spend the day with my best friend from college - someone whom I've not seen much of this whole year. I am looking forward to some time with her. Following that, my hubby and I are meeting up at the SIL's house on the north side of town to spend the night. It will be SIL and her new hubby, the other SIL and her fiance and my hubby and I. I am looking forward to some time with these peeps as I genuinely like them but still don't know them all that well, even though I've been around now for almost three years. It should be fun - and then we'll all get up on Sunday and get dressed to the nines to head off to SIL's wedding reception. Forgot a little tidbit there. SIL is wearing her wedding dress to this shindig. My hubby knew that - but I did not. And her new hubby is wearing his tux. So this isn't just a fun little congratulatory party after all... But who cares. TGIF!!!!! Especially THIS one! :biggrin::cheers2::party: Grr..for who knows what reason this stupid thing won't let me have TGIF in the title ALL capitalized! This is the last time I try and edit this...and if it works then this note is for nothing...

Holy schnikies! That is insane - and you are very wise to be walking from that place. Everything happens for a reason - but I have to wonder why this doc even still has a clinic... Poor guy...chuckle...I'm sure he means well...but I aint puttin my life in his hands...

That's awesome! What a great post! I hope all goes well with the TT and I say don't be nervous...it will be quite fine and will be over before you know it!

Ok, this is just me - and we all approach life quite differently. But I don't think I could enjoy the show in either of those situations. You are possibly right in thinking it just wouldn't be enjoyable on Sunday. Possibly. You could also be one of those super-patients who feels no pain and is up bouncing around within minutes, too. But, in my case, I don't think I'd enjoy it on Weds, either. My mind would be racing and I would want to chatter at my sweet loving hubby about hopes/fears/expectations/desires...and having to be stifled through a show would just make that torturous. I don't know for sure, though - cause I'm not there, either. (As you know.) What I can say is I would not schedule the surgery around the show - and if I miss one show out of a season, I would be able to live with that - given what this surgery is.