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Laura, thanks for the info on TT. I will let you all know what the doctor has to say after my appointment. I have heard about waiting one year after reaching goal. I am hoping since I have mantained 193-197 for a year all will be well. I just want to lose the last 20 before having it done. Yahoo! It passed! It passed! Has anyone heard about Jessica's xray outcome yet?

Linda, I am glad that DH was there to hear what the doctor had to say and to provide his input. Hopefully, she will clearly see what needs to be done. If she doesn't I am glad that Aylah has you and DH to care for her. This may be too personal of a question but is her father in the picture? I am just curious and you don't need to answer if you don't want to. I wholeheartedly wish you the best. Jessica, Any news on your possible break? Arlene, Dad is doing better. He is not back to where he was but he is progressing. It sounds like you have your hands full with your Mom. I hope that at some point we can get back to normal, whatever that is. I had my new TRX exercise class last night. I was very proud, I was able to do about 80% of the exercises and I am sure that I will be able to do all of them in the next month or so. This class was described as being for very fit individuals. It is still hard sometimes to realize where I am and that I am now considered very fit. Ha, who would a thunk it? I called and made an appointment for a consult with a plastic surgeon to find out about a tummy tuck. I would like to get information about the surgery and find out if I need to lose the last 20 pounds before I proceed. I have my sights on 170 and have gotten down to 190 this last week. I am kind of looking at this like a fact finding mission. Have any of you had one? If you don't want to post a reply I would appreciate a private message on your experience. My appointment is on the 4th so I should know more later. Apples, I hope you feel better soon. Can you take any pain medicines while this is happening? Julie, take care. Joyce, way to go on the weight. I know you were thinking about changing doctors, did you go through with it?

LOL, me too. That's why I want an ungraded class.

Linda, sorry you have so much to deal with. Is your granddaughter with you? Eva, I would love to learn spanish. I will have to look into local classes. It would be so much more fun as an adult without the worry of grading. Laura, I love the new signature. All I can say is WOW!!! You look wonderful. Va va va voom!

Happy Birthday Melissa! Nice score on the monitor. I hope your day was wonderful.

Good Morning! I have the day off today for MLK B-Day. I didn’t have any plans but it looks like it is shaping up to be a nice day. I am meeting with my trainer at 11 instead of my regular 4 appointment, then taking Dad to the barber for a long overdue haircut (he is finally up to being out and about) and then to the store to get the ingredients for Emeril’s red snapper fillet recipe. I have the snapper but need the rest. Viola, my day is full. Oh yeah, I need to do some laundry. More later, I need to get moving. I hope everyone has a nice day!

Laura, I tried the link too and it said I don't have permission. It wants me to sign in. HUH?? I am already signed in.

Wow Merideth, you have had quite the year too!!! Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out but I just don't know that much about you. I started here during a time that you were taking a break. I am so glad Linda did a recap to bring me up to speed. Well, I am off to Kohls. I saw a frame there that looked perfect for a print I bought for my bathroom but I wasn't sure of the size I needed. I am just going to take the print with me so I can make sure it fits and that the frame goes with the print like I think it will.

Jessica, you have accomplished so much this past year. I want you to count all of them up. Here are a few things that I know of but I am sure there are more. You have lost over 60 pounds. You not only got into nursing school, you are rocking it! How many A's did you get this year? I lost count. You started exercising and then you ran a 5K!!! You moved out from your in-laws and set up your own place. You have been an awesome Mom to your son and have advocated for him throughout the year. You have done so well and accomplished so much. Maybe if you list all of the good things you have done you will gain more self confidence and see what we see. I don't know if your doctor intimidating you is good for you or not. Maybe his sternness has helped you to stay on track. On the other hand maybe you now need a different doctor with a mentoring personality rather than a stern fatherly attitude. What would it hurt to try a new doctor? If you like him or her you can stay; if not, go back to your current doctor. Sometimes when you try new things they work, sometimes they don't, but it doesn't hurt to try. If you didn't try nursing school you wouldn't almost be a nurse. If you didn't try exercising you wouldn't have run a 5K. You get my point; don't be afraid to try something new. If you don't like it, go back to what you have or try something else. Joyce, I hope the new doctor can resolve your acid reflux and give you the guidance you seek. Since you liked the support group you may find this doctor and staff to be a better fit for you. Linda I saw your granddaughter's photos on facebook. What a cutie. You are lucky to have her and she is lucky to have you. Your SD does have a lot of medical issues to deal with unfortunately she seems to be in denial about what she needs to do. I have diabetes too. Controlling it takes a dedicated persistence but it can be done. I wish I didn't have to deal with it, so I understand the issues however, I also understand, and am trying like heck to avoid, the consequences of uncontrolled diabetes. I pray that one day she "gets it". Apples, I am glad you, DH and Tanker are enjoying the warm weather. It must feel great to be wearing sandals at this time of year. I can only think and dream about capris and sandals. Oh, but it is nice to think about. My Dad is doing better this week. It seems like the PT is really helping. He is able to get himself dressed now. He still needs help getting into and out of the tub but that is improving too. It is such a relief. I am glad he is recovering. I will be sure to keep in mind all of the services you guys told me about that I didn't know existed. Even though he is getting better, he is 85 so I am sure he will need some help in the future. I just bought a plane ticket to Cancun for a week in March. Sooooo excited! My friend has a timeshare there and will be spending 3 weeks. Her kids are coming out the 3rd week but there will be an empty 2nd bedroom for the other 2 weeks. She asked if I wanted to come. It took me less than 2 seconds to say yes. DH can't get the time off work so he will be at home in case Dad needs him. I did something I have never done before – I told my sister when I was going and that if Dad wasn't 100% I was dropping him off on her doorstep for a week. She looked shocked but said ok. I can't wait. All I want to do is sit in a chair and suck down margaritas. I have been there a couple of times before so I have already seen all of the sights and taken all of the tours. This week will be a restful resort week at the pool and beach.

Charlene, what is perferred living? Your suggestions are good ones. We do have meals on wheels so I will check into that. He does still drive but not since breaking his arm. I didn't know that home health and PT was available. I don't know why the doctor didn't tell us about it. Maybe since I was with him at the doctor's office he just assumed that I could take him. You better believe that if anything comes up in the future I will be all over that!!! I am glad your Mom's head is clearing. The pain medicine was probably to blame. Lori, please continue to post about your trips. It gives me somthing to aspire to . We all just wish we could be you.

Joyce, I couldn’t agree with you more and I don’t think you sound mean. Because of my upbringing I have tried to break the pattern and tell my daughter that I love her whenever I can slip it in; every phone call, every visit. My DH and I have talked about it and we have often wondered if our generation hasn’t created the “me generation” by loving and giving too much. We wouldn’t have done anything different, just wondering out loud. Are we the achievers we are because we weren’t handed anything? Do our kids act the way they do because we have given too much? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you can give too much love, I mean given to much in material goods. All of you are fantastic and much more therapeutic than a psychologist. I have put feeling out here that I haven’t admitted to anyone and all of you supported me. Not only that, because of your replies I realize I am not the only one who has these thoughts. I haven’t visited Grand Cayman since the hurricane. It is sad to hear it has lost some of its charm. I wonder if the reefs have recovered. TX, good to hear that you and your wife are doing well. Keep it up.

Apples and Eva – Would you be willing to share a few pictures of Eva’s tile work? I would love to see it. I know it is more difficult to post photos on this site but maybe Facebook? I can use them as inspiration to start a project. Jodi, that is so exciting about not needing any more pills. Congratulations! I know what you mean about computers. I am not very good at fixing things either. As long as my internet works I am all good. Do you have Best Buy near you? I have taken mine in to them to get it repaired. They aren’t always quick but they get the job done. Joyce, I love Grand Cayman. The snorkeling is fantastic. I have never been to carnival. Actually, I didn’t know they had one. Maybe I should plan a trip around that. Well not this year and we have a spring trip planned to the Grand Canyon. I have that urgency to travel too. I want to do it all while I still can because at some point in the future my body will, as you say, crap out. Plus, with the weight loss and exercising that I have been doing, travel and activities in general are so much more fun. I understand the gyms concerns with liability. Just enjoy the pleasant view you now have. LOLJ.

Oh Joyce (((hugs))). I am sorry for the way you are being treated. I guess we all have our issues and dissapointment. I just need to learn what you have already learned - it is all about keeping me calm and serene. You couldn't be more right. I spoke with my husband and my sister and told them something has to change because I can't keep up like this any longer. My sister and I are going to confront him with his need to hire outside help. My husband suggested that we go back to having dinner at our house and we will just pick him up and drive him home. I don't know what the answer is right now. I only know that I cannot continue as I have been and that something has to give. I hope I have the chance to meet you in Chicago. I would love to talk and have a drink.

LOL! I loved your description of your relationship with your parents. What the heck?!?! were we raised by clones? I have read a lot of parent stuff the last couple of days. It has been a comfort. I thought I was the only one raised by detached, non involved parents. I am 53 years old and have never, in my life heard I love you out of either of my parents. They took care of me and raised me but were never involved in my life. Nothing I did was ever good enough which explains why I am a perfectionist. I am not trying to beat a dead horse, it just is reassureing to know that I am not alone. It must have been something with our generation's parents. And no, you are not a horrible person. If you are then move over, because you have company.

Janet, I have a sister - not much help. Yes, there are services that would pick him up and take him to PT BUT he would have to pay for that. I dont get it because like I said in the previous post, he can afford it. Yes, big baby.

I would like a recipe for low cal white chili too. I have a football party to go to and need to bring something. I would like to bring something that I can eat because I need to stay away from the dips and hot wings. Chili would be perfect. Charlene, hugs on your Mom. It is hard, even when they accept help. It sounds like she is becoming confused. Do they have her on pain medicine? That may be causing the confusion. It has been 4 weeks now with my Dad's arm. The doc said the bone will be healed at 6 weeks but he will need PT to recover complete use. Thanks for the understanding and support. I will give him until 6 weeks to see where things stand. At that point, if he is not fully functioning I will insist he hire help. I cannot keep this up forever and it is unfair of him to expect it. The frustrating part for me is that the way he acts you would think he is penniless. I know this is not true since I am on all of his accounts "just in case". I don't think he needs to pay me however, when a neighbor goes above and beyond, as his has done, some sort of compensation or even an occasional nice gift is in order to show appreciation. He can afford to pay for in-home help. There is no financial need for me to pay for it. Eva, I can answer the question - he was not there for his parents. A nephew lived with his mother until she passed and his father had an appartment. He would come over every two weeks on Sunday for dinner. There was nothing more than that. I hope and pray that when I get old I have the presence of mind to remember and not put my daughter through this.

Sandy....with your dad was as open as Arlene's mom with getting the help he needs (but not all help from you). Hugs to you, too. Apples, Glad to hear you are enjoying the weather and the proximity to shopping. How great that you found a place that allows Tanker to come with and that he has a play date already lined up. We have traveled with our lab and it is always a challenge to find a place that will allow dogs. How long are you planning on staying in AZ? I too, wish my Dad was more open to getting the help he needs. I can draw a comparison to obese people. Our doctors, friend and family can all tell us we need to lose weight for the good of our health but do we listen? No, we don’t, we just keep on down the path of self destruction until one day the light bulb goes off in our head, or we have that Ah Ha moment and seek the help we need to improve our lives. If that ah ha moment doesn’t happen then we get more and more unhealthy and for the most part, die prematurely. I think some seniors are the same way. They ignore the good advice they receive. Here’s hopeing my Dad has his ephinay soon. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that will ever happen. He is very stubborn and set in his ways. The sad thing is he seems to expect help from others and returns nothing for it. For example, I went to pick him up to take him to PT yesterday after work. We had gotten about 4 inches of snow. I just backed the car up the drive to get near the door and shoveled a path from the door to the car. My Dad got in the car and proceded to complain that the one neighbor will blow the snow off of his drive but the brother of the neighbor (who lives in the same house) will not. I told him that was very nice of the one brother to do that however, it was not the neighbor’s responsibility to take care of his drive. I had suggested that he give the neighbor a generous Xmas gift for all of the help they have given him this year but my plea fell on deaf ears. He takes, but feels no inclination to give back. Thankfully, my husband had the drive cleared before we returned from PT. I truly believe that the reason he refused to allow help to be brought in is that he will have to pay for it. I know that sounds terrible for me to say but it is true. He expects I will do it, no matter how tired I am, and that is ok with him because he doesn’t have to pay me. So I am stuck in a bad spot, he expects, I am tired, and unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to demand a different arrangement. I feel like a bad daughter and so guiltywhen I get angry about the situation. Almost ike it is my duty or something. Sorry to ramble on so. It just feels good to let it out.

We are getting snowed on right now. It is a pretty snow, the kind that sticks to the trees and looks like a picture. WTG on the shoveling Joyce. That counts as an aerobic workout! I usually use the blower so not too much exercise there. Maybe I need to get the shovel out. Meredith, you are so close to goal. Keep it up! Linda, my fingers are crossed for you and your granddaughter. Charlene, I could use a little of your calm right about now. My Dad has improved but not nearly enough to be on his own. Oh my gosh, you would think he had major surgery the way he is acting. He only broke his arm! I am so tired of hearing "I can't". What do you mean you can't, your arm is broken not your whole body! Ok, enough whining and feeling sorry for myself now. My workouts have been going well. I signed up to take yoga on Sat mornings. We will see how that goes. I have never done yoga so I really don't know what to expect. I figure what is the worst that can happen? If I hate it, I just won't go back. I start my TRX class next week Wed. So you see I am branching out and trying new things. I am keeping my trainer. No sense in messing with success. Beside, when I work out I forget my Dad problems for a while. They always seem to come back but I am free of them for at least an hour. And that is a very good thing!

Just checking in. I wanted to let you know, after all of my drama with the complacency stuff, that I lost 4 pounds this week. I guess I finally got my head back where it belongs. Great, I feel bad for your daughter. I am sure that she feels caught in the middle. I agree with the others, you need to tell this woman that you are not planning the shower so the date and time are out of your hands. I would also let her know that you completely understand if she cannot make it and maybe she would like to plan her own shower on a day that is convenient for her. It sounds like a little butt kicking is in order. Phyl and Charlene - hugs on your moms.

Jodi, try ebay for the masks. There is a hugh selection under mardi gras masks in the $5 price range. I used this for Halloween one year.

Apples, It looks like you are not sleeping well yet. I hope that changes soon. I don't have the words to express how your post made me feel. So emotional, I wanted to cry. Thank you. I was in pretty bad shape too. You are right, I have accomplished more than I thought possible. I like the way I feel and maybe I am being greedy but, I want more. I want to get a TT. Before I get that, I would like to be a size 12. I am a 16 now so I think that is doable if I get my head on straight. I can do it. Thanks again.

I would like to thank everyone for their responses to my questions about complacency. There were many responses that hit home. I will generalize my thoughts so if I don't mention each one of you please don't feel slighted. A couple of you discussed having experiencing the same kind of problem and that going back to basics and eating right was the way to go. As Cheri pointed out, I do not have a band however; my weight loss success was due to going through the 3 month insurance required physician weight loss program and joining LBT in preparation of becoming banded. I mention this only because, I am very familiar with banded eating and in fact lost my weight trying to emulate banded eating. I tried to visualize what it would be like to have a band and ate as if I was banded. What I did during that time was to eat ½ of what was a normal meal for me. It was more than 1 cup but much less than I was used to. I didn't exclude anything from my diet, I just ate ½ of it. I found this to be very successful for me and I did not feel deprived. If I wanted something I ate ½ of it. The other big component of my success was trying to differentiate hunger from head hunger. Before I ate anything, I asked myself if I was hungry of did I just want something. This was truly a revelation for me. I was amazed at how often I ate when I was not even hungry. Oh, I wanted it all right but, I wasn't hungry. Janet couldn't be more right when she says "the brain was the part were the real problem lies.. I changed my brain" I mention the above because, for me, going back to basics doesn't include a pouch test or eating without drinking. For me, going back to basics means eating ½ a meal and only eating when hungry. So even though I am not banded, going back to basics does mean something to me. Janet is right when she says we all suffer from the same disease. We just have to each find what works for us and use it. For me, it is slightly different than some of you. Great made a good point "Because when you cross that finish line you still aren't done." For me, in my head, I crossed that finish line when I was under 200. But I am not done. I need to maintain what I have worked so hard for and I need to improve. I have improved through exercise but I need to improve my weight loss too. Cheri's observation is spot on. However, what happens if you for some reason can't exercise as much or at all? We all are getting older and things happen. Well, unless I made some additional changes, I would start to regain my weight if I had to stop exercising for some reason. I have lost weight before and then regained it. The only thing different this time is the exercise. That is what is keeping me at my current weight. I hope to keep exercising as it makes me feel so much better however; your comment is food for thought. I don't know the answer to your question. I would like to say I would adjust my eating but for now burning the calories works and has a side benefit of strength. So, I talked to DH and my plan is to go back to eating ½ meals and to keep the head hunger at bay. I asked him to let me know if he sees me taking more than ½ of a meal. He doesn't want to do this because in the past I have told him he needs to think about what he says and how he speaks to people. He doesn't express himself well at times and can be more than blunt, he borders on downright rude. Talk about no filter from the head to the mouth, he takes the prize. He doesn't mean things the way he says them but sometimes he does hurt my feelings. I told him to just say "Sandra" and I will know what he means. I hope by telling him my plan it will make me more accountable. It also helps to write it out and post it. I sometimes have a lot of thoughts in my head but writing them out helps to clarify them. I meant what I said earlier about there being a collective wisdom here on this thread. You guys are the best.

I took Charlie for a one hour walk in the forest preserve. Boy, it was cold. 27 degress here. I dressed warm and went out to face it. I am so glad I did. Nothing better than walking in the sunshine. Those of you who live in cold weather climates know how to dress for it. I do too. Unfortunately, I don't do it often enough. I use the too cold excuse. No excuses today. It sure felt good. We both needed that. I have read everyone's comments and am digesting what was said. There was so much in what you had to say that hit home. I will have to think on it, reread the posts again before I reply. Don't misunderstand, I am not upset in any way. I just need to think it over to see how to best apply the collective wisdom. You guys are better than a weight loss therapist. You have been there, done that.

I would like to talk about complacency and settling because I think that is what has happened to me. Here is some brief background. My highest weight was 260. I am now 193-195 and have maintained that weight for one year. I have gone from being incapable to do much physically to being able to do anything. I work with a trainer 2 times a week and have learned so much. I ran 3 different 5K runs this fall. In short, physically I feel incredible. I have been able to come off of 3 out of 6 prescriptions I took for diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Physically, I look better, feel better and I am greatly improved medically. BUT….......According to the BMI chart I am still obese. I need to get less than 185 to be considered overweight and 150 or less to be considered normal. Here is what I think has happened. For so long it was a dream to be less than two hundred pounds. I reached that goal last February. I really pushed hard to get there and the reality of reaching that goal was hard to "wrap my head around". I still saw 260 when I looked in the mirror. I didn't see the changes, I felt them but I just couldn't see them. A big surprise to me was that I found maintaining my weight at 193 to be not very hard to do. With all of the exercise I do, I could pack a little more food in my day or maybe even a sweet or two. AND I LIKE IT. Over the past year, while maintaining, I have been exercising a lot. Even though my weight loss stopped, the changes in my body didn't. I have lost a pant size even though my weight stayed the same. The positives of maintaining at 193 for the past year are numerous and I don't mean to discount them. I can now "see" the weight loss and I have become proud of it. When I first got under 200 pounds I was proud but not in the same fashion I am now. I didn't feel as good about myself as I do now. Also, that time gave my head time to catch up to my body. I have gained so much physical strength this last year I still can't believe it. I never, in my wildest dreams, would have believed it possible for me to leg press 175 pounds and do lat pulls at 50 pounds. In short, I feel so alive! I had lost that feeling and didn't think I could get it back. I thought I was destined to live the rest of my life not being able to do things. I couldn't have been more wrong. That is the reason I am so grateful for where I am. Junking up the thread here and going long. Back to complacency and settling. These two words describe where I am. While I am grateful for where I am, I realize I am not where I could be. It has become easy to be 193, eat more food and basically feel pretty darn good. Has this happened to any of you? Are any of you in the same spot as I am now? In your journey, did you become complacent and accepting of where you were to the point of staying? How did you motivate yourself to start reaching for a new goal when you no longer have the physical motivations you once had? By that, I mean, not being able to do things was a huge motivator for me. There isn't anything I can't do anymore so that motivator is gone. I know I am rambling but I just tried to let my thoughts flow and see where they take me. Am I making any sense?

IndioGirl55, on 01 January 2011 - 11:57 PM, said: Ok as usually trying to get everyones schedules to blend it going to be hard. So lets do this - I am going to put your name down - quote the post and insert when you can make it to Chi Town.. Apples - Charlene - Great - prefer the April dates that Cheri mentioned, prefer no holiday weekends, prefer spring/early summer vs later summer/fall Cheri - Laura - LauraK - Julie - Phyl - Tina - Eva - Janet - Open I can go w/the flow (except for 7/15) Linda - Joyce - Sandy - I am open to anytime Jodi - Melissa - Jessica Meredith- May, or spring/early summer is best. Might be going with my aunt to FL in April and summer time gets crazy around here. But, will be able to adjust schedule to fit it this trip. Chris Candice - She's gone for 2 weeks Am I missing anyone ????