PinkFish

Wow.. time is flying by and life has just been crazy. The day of my surgery my grandmother was found unconscious on her bathroom floor and ended up in ICU. I spent 6 weeks by her side, in the hospital, until she passed away on May 9th. That was rough. I've never been an emotional eater, but I went through a phase in which I didn't care, I was incredibly depressed and I wanted to eat everything in sight and didn't care what that meant for me or my weight. My husband and I split up in April and will be divorced by the end of this month. Things have been crazy. Anyway, back to the band. There wasn't any saline placed in my band at the time of surgery, so the only restriction I had felt was in the beginning and only due to the swelling immediately post-op (I could only have a couple sips of milk before feeling full). Around my birthday, about 7 weeks post-op, I went to dinner with friends. I ordered a healthy meal totaling around 390 calories - roasted potatoes, broccoli, and (what I thought was really tender..) steak. I cut the steak in small pieces, it was very moist and tender, and ate small bites. I figured that I didn't have any restriction, so it should all go down fine. Everything went down just fine, but around 1:00 the next morning I started feeling an incredible pain underneath my strenum. I didn't think too much of it, figured it was gas trapped in there or something, and I went to sleep. I woke up around 6:00am and the pain had increased exponentionally. Labored, painful breathing, accompanied by a radiating ache from my sternum, around my right side and straight through to the center of my back. I was sure that my band had slipped, but I wasn't experiencing any of the "common" symptoms; I wasn't nauseous and hadn't experienced any vomiting. As the pain increased, I decided to go straight to the emergency room, instead of phoning a doctor. The ride to the hospital was terrible, but the pain began to slowly die down while waiting to be seen. The doctor ordered an x-ray to check placement of the band and the results were perfect, no apparent slippage - I was so relieved. My labs showed elevated LFT and another result, which I can't remember the name of, but something that indicated there may be something wrong with my gallbladder, so they ordered an ultrasound. The results came back fine and I was given a "cocktail" of maalox mixed with lidocaine, and sent home. I was so embarassed. I was horrified, thinking that I did this to myself with the previous night's dinner, and that there was a possibility of having my band removed or something, haha. I was so upset and scared. I visited my doctor the following week for my 8 week check-up and first scheduled fill. My weight hadn't changed, at all, from my 10 day post-op visit, to my 8 week. I was a little disappointed, but knew that I could only blame myself. While I had been working out consistently, I had experienced a lot of weakness when it came to my diet. The surgeon placed 2cc in my band and I spoke with my dietician and was on my way. They scheduled my 6 month appointment, but didn't mention when I could come back for a second fill, so I'll need to call. The 24 hours or so following my fill, I could feel the tightness once again, I was so excited, but it didn't last long. I was able to eat about a cup of scrambled egg beaters the next morning, which I thought was a bit much. Obviously, I haven't been pushing the limits with it, I don't want to know what it feels like to eat too much, or to cause the band to slip. But I haven't really felt full at all and I am incredibly hungry all the time. Maybe most of it is head hunger, but between meals I am constantly craving snacks.. graham crackers with peanut butter have been my weakness - at least that's not too unhealthy, right? I haven't weighed myself in at least a week, but last time I checked I was exactly 40lbs down from my highest weight ever (January). I seem to have hit a plateau, but hope that my fill has at least encouraged a few more pounds, though it doesn't seem to have changed much. I'm going to call and see when I can schedule my next fill and hope that it's soon. I've lost at least one pants size and my face, waist, and stomach have gotten noticably smaller. I am feeling a bit better already, my knees don't crack when I squat down and don't hurt as much and as often as they did 40lbs ago. Honestly, I am a bit disappointed with everything, I thought I would have lost more weight by now, but I know that I only have myself to blame. I haven't been as hard on myself as I thought. One thing that did cause me to slip up and cheat was reading things on here. I read an entry by someone who had been recently banded. They stated that they were able to eat whatever they wanted and it didn't cause any problems, even with fluid in the band. Having the knowledge of such a possibility is not a good thing at times of weakness. My self-control has really come into play during this process and I'm learning a lot about myself. I hope that I grow stronger and am able to completely change my lifestyle.

I can't believe it's been 10 days since surgery! It's going by so fast! The surgeons said the surgery went great! But I had a reaction to morphine in recovery and was there for 3 hours, writhing in pain and broke out with a rash. They pumped the benadryl and fentanyl to me and my respirations dropped.. It was definitely an interesting experience, haha. But I'm good now! I went home the same day, which I found kind of scary, but more comfortable anyhow. I stayed the night at my parents' house so my kids could be home with my husband and I could rest alone, though I wasn't able to get much sleep. The pain was never incredibly bad, just a burning feeling behind the incisions. The last dose of pain medicine I took was on Day 3, so I'd say I'm feeling pretty good! On Day 5 I began feelling antsy and hopped back on the treadmill, I did 30mins (1.75miles) without any pain or discomfort! My instructions were to not lift more than 10lbs until I have been seen in the office, which isn't until this coming Monday, but I have a 2 year old that still requires lifting every now and then, and of course I have been taking care of him. Well, the night before last I was having some pain in my largest incision (I still have staples in, by the way) and noticed a scant amount bleeding/drainage coming from it, I cleaned it up and let it be. Yesterday it continued to drain a bit, so I covered it with gauze and a bandage, and at the end of the day there was a spot about the size of a quarter on the gauze. When I removed it and cleaned the incision I watched it drain.. it was a light orange-red color. As far as I can tell it doesn't have an odor, but I'm kind of worried about it. I go to the surgeon on Monday to have the staples removed so I've been holding off on calling about it until then. Hopefully it's not infected, and hopefully it's not something I did! I had been getting frustrated with my weight, as the scale had stopped moving for a couple days. My husband says I've been obsessing over it, and I'm sure I have. I'm down 10.5lbs since surgery, 27.5 since starting the pre-op liquid diet, and 36.5 from my highest weight (January). I walked along a window in a hallway the other day and definitely noticed a difference in my reflection, it was exciting! The surgeon said he didn't put any saline in my band at all, which kind of frustrates me, but excites me at the same time (exciting because I've still managed to lose 10lbs, but frustrating to think that I could have lost more, and knowing that I'm progressing my diet next week and don't have restriction scares me!). I thought they usually put a couple cc's in to begin with? I have to wait 6 more weeks for a fill. I'm still starving as of right now, but I'm so scared of screwing something up that I've stuck right with the liquids.. and I'm surprised at how easy it is for me. I'm so excited to advance to pureed foods this week!.... I never thought I'd say that.... Any suggestions on foods for that stage?! The only thing I've heard is mashed potatoes and baby food, but are potatoes really the best thing to be consuming while trying to lose weight?! Anyway.. any advice is greatly appreciated!

I will be at the hospital at 5:30 tomorrow morning for my surgery! I am sooo excited, but nervous! I can't wait! Today I did the bowel prep, which was terrible. I would have rather had it pumped into me through an NG tube, haha. Thankfully I only had to drink half of the gallon. I'm down 17.5 lbs since starting the liquid diet almost 2 weeks ago, and 26.5 from my highest weight. Seeing the scale move so much is such a great feeling, even though I'm starving! I can't wait to eat solid food again!!! Well, off I go! Getting the kids ready to go to their grandparents' for the night and enjoying my last bite of jello for a little while, haha.

AHHH, it's almost the 30th! I'm so excited! Today is day 8 of the liquid pre-op diet and I'm down 13lbs. THIRTEEN POUNDS IN 8 DAYS.. I'm shocked! Dieting like this hasn't been hard for me at all, knowing what's coming The other night my husband's family (they're very selfish people anyhow..) ate CHINESE FOOD in front of me.. I suppose I could have gone in the other room, but I sat at the table and sipped on my protein shake and ate my jello! I've been very surprised with myself and how much will-power I have right now. And I can't wait to see how the weight comes off after surgery! It's just melting away right now When I told my sister that I had lost this weight her response was "See, it's easy for you to lose weight.." I don't think she realized it, but that really irritated me. Anyone consuming less than 600 calories a day is going to lose weight... and doing this "diet" isn't easy. And it certainly isn't something that can become a lifestyle. To be honest... I am STARVING! I want a huge chef salad. Haha... alright now I'm starting to get side tracked. Anyway... I'm feeling good right now! And I just can't wait!!!!! I had my pre-admission testing done yesterday and everything is good to go, just counting down the days! 6 DAYS! AHHH!

Thanks!!

AHHH! I'm so excited! I got the call today! Last Thursday I had called the insurance company (as mentioned before) and then Friday I called the surgeon's office. The coordinator told me she hadn't received anything yet, and even when she did she had to submit it again, for some reason. She told me that they technically had 6 weeks to approve/deny and then it took around a week for the second approval, so I was pretty bummed out - even though I knew the first approval should have been on the way to their office. I was feeling pretty crappy about it after that, and just kept reminding myself I needed to be patient. I was content, once again, thinking that my surgery could be 4-6 weeks away still. BUT THEN! Today I was at the grocery store and got a call from the program coordinator! She said they got the first written approval and wanted to schedule the surgery. She said the second approval takes about a week, but since I have to do the liquid diet we could go ahead and schedule it for 2 weeks! Surgery will be on March 30th!!! I'M SO EXCITED! I have spring break from school all next week, so I was hoping to hear all of this last week and be banded next week, during vacation, but I'll just make my instructors aware of my need to be out for a couple days! Ohhh, I'm just so relieved! And now I'm starting to get nervous! haha. I stocked up on sugar free jellos and puddings today, and I'm going to get my protein drinks out. I start the liquid diet on Wednesday! Heeeeerrre we gooooo!

So it's been a month since I have posted a blog here, and I'm very sad to say I still do not have a surgery date! BUT! I had a nutrition appointment yesterday and I lost another 2lbs and got nothing but positive feedback. Tomorrow will make THREE WEEKS since the surgeon's office submitted my case to the insurance company, and I have been very, very patient, but today I decided to call in and see what was going on. I was very nice and simply stated that I wanted to make sure they had everything they needed and wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help, or to make their decision easier. I was put on hold, and when the lady came back she told me that the procedure was approved as of March 7th, and that they had already sent the notice to the surgeon's office! AHHHHH! THE BEST phone call ever! I got off the phone and was literally screaming in my car. My chest hurt, I was so excited! Haha. I am hoping that my surgeon's office will receive the letter rather quickly and give me a call to set up a date! I'll need to do the 2 week liquid diet, but that's okay! I'm ready! When I spoke with the surgeon 3 weeks ago, he said that as soon as they get the approval they could have me in the OR within 2 weeks, and I'm hoping he's right! I just can't believe this is actually going to happen and that, someday, I will be a much smaller size than I am now. There WILL be a day in my future where my knees don't ache, where I will be able to run for longer than 2 minutes - and not feel like I'm dying. There WILL be a day when I look in the mirror and actually smile and feel proud of myself. I just can't wait! I'm going to call the surgeon's office tomorrow just to check in and see what's going on. I'm sure that the next time I post, I will have a surgery date! Let me re-phrase that.... I BETTER have a surgery date by the next time I post!

Congrats and good luck with your surgery! I was denied the first program I tried to go through, because of my health insurance, but switched companies and went with a new doctor! My file was submitted to insurance on Friday and I am really hoping to have an answer within the next week or two. How long did your insurance take to approve?! Again, good luck!

I was just cleared for surgery by my dietician on monday (after 6 months of visits) and was told that if I do not lost 14 more lbs by the time I have a surgery date (which I should know within the next two weeks or so, I would hope) then I would need to go on a 2 week liquid diet before surgery. While I don't like the idea, I think that it's a good form of discipline, which I am severely lacking. I have managed to lose 8lbs in the last couple of weeks, but I always seem to feel that I should reward myself and give myself a break from the hard work... and then I rebound. It's taken me a long time to correc this behavior. I am so scared of my liver not having shrunk enough for surgery that I think I would benefit from having to consume strictly liquids for 2 weeks - both mentally and physically. I have been looking into the lap band for a long time as well, since Sept 2009, but every time I step on that scale, and every time I'm chasing my 3 and 1 year olds, I am only reassured that this is the right choice. I can't wait for the day my feet, knees, and back don't ache after a day of playing with the kids. Good luck on your journey! I know I'm eager to start mine!!

FINALLY!! We're getting somewhere! I had my 5th one-on-one nutrition visit today and it couldn't have gone better! I lost 6lbs from my last visit, showed up with my protein in hand, got checked off on everything! The dietician went over the pre-op and post-op diets with me and said that I have a couple weeks to lose 14lbs to avoid the pre-op liquid diet! I couldn't be more excited! I've been working so hard lately and trying to be patient. From here the "case manager," so to speak, gathers all of the reports from me pre-op testing and nutrition visits, then the whole group will sit and discuss my case and decide whether or not we should move forward, and from there they submit to the insurance company. I should be getting a phone call from the "case manager" within the next day or so to let me know if I am missing any testing (which I shouldn't be) and what I can expect next. I hope everything comes together fairly quickly, as I've been waiting for this for so long! She should also be able to give me a rough idea of how long the insurance company takes to approve surgery, but once they do so the surgery could be within a month (or so the dietician says..). I am so excited, I practically skipped out of the office today and headed for my treadmill. I am going to meet with the dietician again on March 7th, just to weigh in and re-evaluate whether or not I need to do the liquid diet. I hope that at that point I'll either be awating insurance approval, or I'll be awaiting my surgery date. I wouldn't really mind being on the liquid diet for two weeks, because I know it would help me shed some more pounds, but I'm going to work even harder to lose the next 14lbs, just to show how committed and ready I am. Today was definitely the pick-me-up I've needed since starting this program last July, and it has me motivated to continue to work hard. My husband seems to have finally dealt with his issues and come to terms with the fact that I am GOING TO HAVE surgey, not considering it, but I am GOING TO HAVE wls. He still doesn't like it, and isn't very supportive and understanding of my need for time to exercise, but I think that he's learned that I am going to do what is best for me. AHH! Finally a positive, exciting update! Hopefully I can post a couple weeks from now and be nearing my surgery date. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

With my last nutrition visit being so dissapointing I haven't been looking forward to my next, which is coming January 3rd. I haven't been able to shed much weight since I started this program back in July. At my last visit the dietician mentioned that I missed a visit in November, and that it may set me back and I might have to start the 6 months of visits over, because the insurance company may want 6 consecutive months. I was pretty discouraged, since I started the classes in August and January would have been my sixth and final visit to clear me for surgery. Well, point of the story- I called my insurance company today and spoke with someone regarding this issue- She stated that there was nothing saying I'd have to start over. I also asked whether the initial group class would be covered, which I attended back in August, or if the six months would start from my first one-on-one visit in September.. she said that as long as the office reports that I attended the session, it will be counted as the first visit. This news has me very excited, as I've been feeling more discouraged than ever lately. January 3rd is my 5th visit, leaving me with one more in February! Hopefully then everything will be submitted to the insurance company for approval! I've completed all of my pre-op testing and just cannot wait to go under the knife and get this over with. I'm so eager to get working on the new me!