Don't be so hard on yourself. You've been through quite a lot! I had an issue with my band being too tight and started to get really bad acid reflux and had to have an un-fill. Basically I can eat almost anything and I've gained 23 pounds in three months. I'm trying to get a handle on things without getting a fill. Have you tried increasing the amount of protein that you eat? I've had some recent success with having lots of protein for breakfast and lunch. Also, I use the "Lose It" iPhone app to keep track of everything that I eat. It helps me to be more aware of the number of calories that I consume. Please keep in touch and let us know how things go for you.