I’m gonna be anonymous, at least to start. I am going by Lola. A little bit about me: I’m almost exactly 32.5 years old. I live in Brooklyn, New York in a little walk-up apartment, with my boyfriend, E. I’m a trained professional (see how I am trying to be all anonymous?) and I’ve recently decided to hang out a shingle and start my own business. My parents are lovely but difficult, they way all parents are, and I have a younger brother. I like long walks on the beach (really!), reading, cooking, traveling, friends, movies, museums, and manatees. OK, I don’t really care about manatees all that much, but I am a sucker for a good alliteration!
Oh, and at 5′4″, I weight approximately 280 lbs, give or take the time of day and what I ate for dinner last night. That’s about 150 lb more than where I should be. I think I first purchased a can of Slim-Fast from the local drug store on Main Street when I was…12? Followed by (what wasn’t it followed by, but here are some highlights):
the Scarsdale Diet
the eat-nothing-but-chicken-breasts- and green-vegetables diet
the low-carb and take supplements I had to buy from the diet counselor diet
the Dr who told me to take 2-1-2 pills throughout the day. This was college already, I think…I slept 1-2 hours per night with horrible nightmares.
the homeopath (male, in his seventies) who asked what was my favorite sexual position and recommended daily orgasms
Atkins
Atkins plus Meridia, Xenical,Strattera, Ionomine (also known as Phentermine, one of the phens in phen-phen), Wellbutrin, and a few others I don’t remember (couples with various sleeping pills and anti-anxiety medications, cause the pills made me so jumpy)
Weight Watchers
seventy million sessions with trainers and at least a dozen gym memberships I never used…
…and I kept getting fatter. Some of these things worked, especially low carb diets combined with strong drugs. As soon as I weakened the regime, as soon as i stopped popping pills, as soon as I tried to have a normal life…it all came back.
I’m not going to claim that I am blameless. I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. As in I enjoy it intensely and I do it in immense quantities. I am, to toot my own horn, an amazing cook, a good baker, and take a great interest in food, reading about it, following food blogs, watching tv shows, researching restaurants and ingredients.
I also like to secretly stuff myself on cheap, crappy food. I binge, but don’t purge, although I have often wished I could. I usually have to do it by myself, or at various points, I have had partners in crime. Home is preferable, as fat people don’t like to be seen eating any more than a small-to-medium sized portion in public and act surprised how they got so fat. Then I sit around and rub my belly...not good at all!
My boyfriend had lap band surgery at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital almost one year ago, and has lost almost 80 lbs, despite having an infection and almost no fill for the first six months. When he told me about the surgery I was shocked and awed. I was convinced I would never want to have surgery. Fast forward to today, and I have been to two seminars, gotten health insurance, and have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Marina Kurian at NYU. I hope to have surgery by the end of 2009, and I am very excited! Reading your comments and blogs has been a big part of my decision, so I look forward to interacting with you all. I am also blogging at Loosing It: Weight Loss Surgery and Life.
xx,
Lola