Great question.
I started researching WLS back in 2006. I had recently lost and gained ~80 lbs. I decided against it at the time and then life changed a bunch and weight loss just wan't as important for a bit as I went through some other stuff.
2010 I decided I would try to lose it on my own one last time. I thought if I can stick with a program then I will do it. I did great, lost about 100 lbs. I hit a plateau in 2012 that lasted into 2013, and I flat out gave up with 100 lbs to lose.
So I gained 80 lbs again. I'm starting to realize I can't do this on my own. I have officially started the ball rolling for surgery.
I think part of it is accepting that you just haven't been able to do it on your own and you need some help. That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. You are just taking your way to get there. Talk to yourself the way you would a friend... Hey, good for you, this is an important step you're taking for your health.
Try to NOT focus on the bully voice that tells you to suck it up buttercup and just lose the weight on your own. There is no right way to lose the weight. One could argue that if I weren't so scared in 2006 that getting surgery then would have been the "better" choice for me. It is what it is at this point, the only way is forward.