ouroborous

I had a long discussion with an ex-girlfriend about how (usually) sex is MUCH more work for guys than for gals (for obvious reasons that I won't go into). I know that there's an urban legend that it's impossible to die from sex, and I know that that's just a myth. Worrying about having a heart attack can really take the "mood" away, you know??

I know -- with low testosterone, poor body image, and sex feeling like I was running a marathon, can you blame me for not being in the mood?? And of course, men are the ones who are expected to be "in the mood" all the time (according to society). I know that's kinda a myth but still, the times I've spent explaining to my S.O. that "it's not you, it's me"... and you know, it sounds like a cliche, but in my case, it was TRUE! Just not having to have those uncomfortable middle-of-the-night "discussions" would be worth its weight in gold!

From what I understand, your food capacity is supposed to roughly double from immediaetly post-op to long-term maintenance. If so, going from 400-600 calories per day to 1200 or so doesn't seem too alarming. Again, as long as you keep your protein/carb/micronutrient balances good, I don't think it should be a concern. Of course, I have yet to be sleeved, so this is all guessification on my part.

Thanks for this info. Psychology is a big part of low sex drive for me; at a BMI of 42, I just feel un-masculine and unsexy. Also, being this overweight means that sex feels like I'm going to have a heart attack. All of that (plus the other stuff I mentioned) leads to me just never really being that interested.

This begs an interesting question: are endoscopies safe/uncomplicated after VSG?

Thanks for the advice, but I was hoping one of the RN types around here had some more hard advice. I can't access Dr. L every day, whereas this forum is pretty responsive!

I might just do that. I have a lot of questions... more than Dr. L might be able to answer (although he was VERY candid and open during my one initial consult... I was impressed, usually docs take a "doctor knows best" attitude that annoys me, but he was super open about stuff. He gave me his personal email to send him the first five year studies of VSG outcomes that just came out.)

Yeah, my girlfriend had VSG with Dr. Billings in late November and is very pleased with the results and facility. I think Dr. Landerholm has comparable surgical stats and success rates, but I was curious if anyone had firsthand experience.

A lot; the grand total (includes the surgery, anesthesia, a hiatal hernia repair if necessary, and 2 years followup with the in-complex nutritionist/exercise physiologist) is just over $21k. I have the money in the bank, and I'm willing to spend it for a GOOD local surgeon, but I just wanted to know about his bona fides.

HAH... I've wondered about that. Would be a nice confidence builder to not have this giant shelf of gut between me and one of the last reminders that I'm really, actually a male!

Does anyone know if, for men, minoxidil will slow this process? I know that this is not androgenic... just wondering if using some Rogaine post-surgery will help me offset or delay the problem.

Thanks for all the responses! I actually asked my surgeon about this, and he pretty much agreed with what you all are saying; of course, I can't do any heavy lifting until I'm healed, and even then I'm not supposed to go too heavy for a couple of months, but after that my stomach should be back to basically full strength, and the weightlifting should help to counteract the muscle wasting and loose skin, so I'm excited about that. And it sounds like the malaise and fatigue can be avoided if I'm careful to keep my food intake high-quality. As a man who's used to wolfing his meals in vast portions and not eating for hours and hours on end, changing my mindset to small portions, eaten slowly, taken regularly, is going to be tough! But the outcome is worth it. I'm still six weeks out (I go for psych, nutritionist, and pre-op endoscopy next week), but I'm starting to get a little excited, despite my trepidation.

Congratulations on your surgery. It's good to see more and more guys getting this done. I'm about 6 weeks out from my surgery and (to be honest) scared silly, but I know that the result will be worth it!

Thanks for this tip. I know that there's a severe weight limitation in the first 6 weeks, but it looks like I should keep it light for the first three months, too. After that, I guess, it's just basic exercise common sense and smart lifting (the old lift with your legs, not your back, kinda stuff).

Anyone >2 or 3 months out from sleeving? I'd really like to know long-term energy levels, since I'd really like to start weight lifting again (and back in my day, I lifted HEAVY) once I'm healed up. Wondering if I'll be too tired and sluggish from caloric restriction to do that. I would REALLY like to avoid losing too much muscle mass with the fat! My sleeve date is 5/6/10.

I think that the most positive thing America (assuming we're Americans here... Canucks and limeys, feel free to correct me ) can do for obesity would be to STOP MAKING IT A MORAL issue. Overweight and obesity are NOT character flaws. The truly compulsive, mentally ill eater is the rare exception to the rule; far more common are simply people who don't know how to eat properly, or are trapped in busy-but-sedentary lifestyles. As a computer programmer, I know very well how you can be busy 10-12 hours of the day, and still get almost zero physical activity. And still, the TV would have me believe that I'm just fat because I guzzle ice cream and sit on the couch all day. I wish it were that easy!

I actually have the opposite problem as you, Kahuna. I'm a fairly large man (6'1, very broadly built), so people always expected me to have a "hearty appetite." The problem is that that hearty appetite has bulked me up to 335 pounds (BMI 42) and serious health problems. On the "pigging out" front, I WANT to eat less, because one odd thing about being obese is that I've always felt self-conscious when eating around others. I feel like the giant portions I consume must really be off-putting to watch. So I avoid eating out in fear of this! So, I'm actually looking forward to being able to feel really satisfied with a small to "normal" sized portion. Plus, of course, getting rid of the aches and pains, CPAP, and other health concerns, as well as really feeling like I look fit and healthy again... THAT, I can't WAIT for! (Wouldn't mind getting my sex drive back, either... )

As a lurker, I would like to thank you guys for these replies. I'd really love to see more info from men with WLS (it seems to be primarily women). I'm about 6 weeks out from a VSG surgery, and I'm terrified -- but hopeful. I'm wondering if I'm finally going to be able to get back into weightlifting, and if the VSG will allow me to have enough protein/calories/energy to do that, but bulking up muscle seems to be primarily a male concern :confused1: The other major trepidation I have is missing my beloved beer! I may finally become a wine drinker, since it seems like much more of a "sipping" beverage. Thanks again to all those posting. It's very illuminating stuff.

Hi, first of all, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this post. I have many, many questions. First of all is the biggest one. Why WLS? I have been obese almost my entire life. There was one time period when I was not obese; I was a young man working at a very physically strenuous job (unloading semi trailers for UPS). Now, I'm a middle-aged man working at a desk job (computer programmer), and all of my efforts to lose significant weight have either failed or yo-yo'ed (which I'm sure everyone here is familiar with). I've read about the restrictions after lap band, and some of them are simply the restrictions that any diet should have: avoid sweets, avoid white, bready foods, chew slowly, stop when you're full, control portion size, exercise lots, and so on. Additionally, there are some WLS-specific restrictions: NO (?) carbonated beverages (there goes my love of Diet Coke), NO alcohol (I'm not a lush, but I love a summer beer or vodka cocktail), NO (?) caffeine (so I can't even have coffee?), plus a lot of scary things about how for instance taking a whole pill can lead to chain vomiting. So what it seems like to me is that WLS requires the same degree of willpower -- which I've failed to demonstrate -- that a successful diet requires. Which begs the question; if I'm going to have to do all the "work" of a diet anyway, and stick with it if I want to see progress, why not skip the surgery and just do the diet? Either I'll succeed or fail (with or without WLS), but if I don't get the surgery, at least I don't risk surgical complications, and can drink a beer, and am (probably) tens of thousands of dollars better off. Second question, what are the real limitations? I have read so much, conflicting stuff. I know you can't shouldn't eat, for instance, Snickers' bars (and why would I want to sabotage myself that way), but what about coffee? Carbonated beverages? Alcohol? Do I have to give up all of life's little pleasurable vices for this goal? Also, I've read a lot about things getting "stuck" in the stomach pouch if you eat to fast, or if you swallow a large pill, or something. What does this mean? Vomiting? Discomfort? A stomach pump? Along with being obese (BMI of 41) and having sleep apnea (a comorbidity; if insurance companies weren't so difficult, I'd be a shoo-in for the surgery), I'm a hypochondriac. What are the real RISKS post lap-band, versus just discomforts. Discomforts I can live with (assuming, of course, the benefit is worth it -- see my first question). Finally, some health-related stuff. I know most/all here aren't doctors, but I have a fatty liver (diagnosed w/ultrasound) and quite possibly a duodenal (not gastric, that's important) ulcer. Am I disqualified from the surgery on medical grounds? Again, sorry for the book-length post, but I have a lot of questions and am still very unsure about whether the surgery is really a good choice (remember, I'm only 39, given my family's long life-span, this is something I'll need to live with for another 40 years or more), whether I -- weak-willed as I am -- can live with the limitations, what the risks are, and so forth. I'd love to hear advice, answers, and opinions on the subject. My girlfriend is also contemplating lap-banding (although she's much more enthused about it than I am) and I'm trying to find the right balance between skepticism towards any "magic wand" weight loss cure, and real optimism at the possibility of, for the first time in my life (barring the six months I worked for UPS) really being closer to my ideal weight. Thanks in advance for any information or answers!

Thanks all for the responses. On the hypochondriac front, I'm a "rational hypochondriac" -- like any hypochondriac, I fear every health-related thing that goes "bump in the night," but I also know the actual likelihood of various bad things. Also, a LOT of my hypochondria is weight-related; my father had a serious heart attack when I was 6, and I think that ever since then I've been terrified that just like him, my heart will just "stop" one day. Add that to what I know about diabetes, sleep apnea, and so forth, and you see that the majority of my hypochondria is related to my weight. As to the "willpower" thing, I think that the realization that I'm coming to is that it's BECAUSE I have poor willpower that this might be right for me. I tend to overeat (and drink, I even drink Water in huge quantities with giant gulps, and I eat like a starving wolf), and something that literally *forces* me to slow down and eat less might just be the best thing. It would mean that I didn't have to rely upon willpower alone; there would be (to an extent) a "hard limit" on how much I could eat or drink at once. Part of the reason that I have so many doubts/questions is that, due to having had some elective surgeries that were worse than useless (RF tongue ablation for sleep apnea, for instance), I'm leery of the risks and costs of surgery if the likely benefit is little to nil. But I've also had some surgeries that dramatically improved my quality of life (LASIK surgery to get me to 20/20 vision, nasal surgery to repair a deviated septum), so I'm trying to keep an open mind. Again thank you very much for your input. I'm going to see if my insurer -- Aetna -- will even cover a part of my costs. I'm not SUPER hopeful on that front, but it might be worth the fight. I don't mind if I have to go on a six month medically-supervised diet first, since that would help me learn "how to eat" and quite possibly shave 10-20 pounds off my current 330 (I'm 6'1 and very heavily built, but still 330 is very obese for me).

Interesting, thanks for that. With the amount of acid reflux I have, I suspect that I have "PB" quite a bit already.