dean123

I am so tired of feet that hurt all the time, and knees and back.  I am tired of having no energy. I am tired of having hang over when sitting in chairs, so I always request a booth when we go out. I am tired of not being able to find fashionable clothes in my size.I do not want to be humiliated ever again when going to an amusement park with my family because the safety bar will not lock in because I am to big.  That was so embarrassing, everyone knowing it was me fat girl who was holding up the ride, then having to get off and them all looking at me.I have been big all my life not necessarily fat fat just big (big boned as the liked to say when I was younger) and now fat fat or as my sister says you are just fluffy.  I do not want to be out of breath anymore when walking in to work because I am lugging around at least 100 pounds of extra me.  That is a whole other person.I have been dieting on and off since I was 14.  I have fought the fight and I have put up a good fight.  I have been down and then I have been up.  When I hit 289 a year ago it scared me to death.  I started having heart flutters and lightheadedness and a multitude of problems not to mention cholesterol and blood pressure.  I then started to get very serious.  I got down to 238 and then I do not know what happened other than I went into self destruct and now I am up to 265 currently.  I was up to 274 but went to weight watcher for a year and got down to 265.  I just need help.  I believe with the lap band, knowing I have a tool there to stop my eating benge and my lack of will power, will help so much with my mental food eater.I am praying this works for me and that I do not use my new tool correctly and screw up again.I got my surgery date for November 25th the day before Thanksgiving.  This way I will only have to take one or two days off work.  Everyone who knows thinks I am crazy and I just tell them this is my birthday (11/21) present to myself.As a friend told me, IT IS AMAZING HOW 30 MINUTES CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER. That made me realize how much I wanted this more than ever.  I had not thought of this before.  She opened my eyes to say hey I will be a new healthier person for my kids and family.I am so thankful for all of my friends and support from the people who know about my surgery.  i have only told my Dad and Mom and My Husband and Oldest Daughter.  I do not want any of my other family to know, at least not now.  Maybe once I see results but I do not want to hear everyone's negative reactions and for them to think I am a failure because I could not do this on my own with out the wonderful tool of the lap band.So here is to my upcoming life change in 30 minutes.I am looking into having surgery before the end of this year.  Just curious to hear from others who have had the surgery and to gain information and education from actual patients.