Chatty Cathy

[font=comic sans ms, sans-serif][size=1][size=1]Overweight all of my adult life, I blamed everyone but myself. My mother, my stress, my circumstances, my first husband, my children... you name it; I blamed it. This journey has really opened my eyes to the truth that always was. My weight problem was exactly that; MY WEIGHT PROBLEM. I remember the day I found out that my insurance had begun to cover weight loss surgery. I was surprised to find out the surgery would be covered and scared at the same time. Now that I have the option, can I do it? Will I be able to make the necessary changes. It's not magic. Surgery only aids your weight loss. You still have to make choices every day. What to eat, when to eat, how much to eat...oh, the choices. Then the head game. Do I deserve it? Where did that come from; fear was the answer to that question.[/size][/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]So I set some goals for myself, a test of sorts. If I could successfully reach these self set goals, then in my mind, I deserved surgery. The first goal, stop drinking soda. That one wasn't so bad. The second, reduce or eliminate most of the carbs from my diet. A bit harder, since I love breads; but reached that one also. The third goal was to stop all eating between meals. Not so bad either, [/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]probably because I was already in the process of changing my eating habits and was getting a good amount of protein daily. The fourth goal was to start a food log and personal journal. I had never been able to keep an adequate food log before. This is where I learned that I was the only one responsible for being over weight. No one else, just me. Accepting that one was a big step for me. But I was determined this time. Failure was not a word in my vocabulary. I learned so much about myself doing this. The fifth and last goal was to meet and exceed my physicians goal for loosing weight PRIOR to surgery. Now, I will admit that the required goal was not a large one but I wanted to show myself that I could make a change before surgery. I did just that. Lost 32 pounds on my own! I was on my way. [/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]People at work reacted differently. Mostly though, their comments were something along the line of "you are doing so well on your own, why do you want to have surgery?" I didn't expect them to understand. I didn't owe them an explanation. This was for me. My tool to feeling better, getting off medication, loosing unnecessary weight and extending my life and enjoying new found freedoms.[/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]So the journey had already begun. Surgery was July 20, 2009 and went well. I was fortunate to be able to take ample time off work and not rush back too soon. I am 56 years old and not exactly in the prime of my life. So I enjoyed the time off and got used to my new stomach and learning to eat after lap-band surgery. I am almost 2 months out now and still doing well. Oh, some days are better than others, but mostly they are great. This feels so good! To finally have control over something I felt victim to for so many years. I am on my way to my dream coming true![/size][/font]