Evanescent_Soul

Yeah lol. It probably is going to be like that, but in the end its going to be all worth the ups and downs. I totally understand how you feel. Im also a dreamer, we have a thing in common as well lol, I love to sing, but im more solo, I love to write songs and preform, im also a KJ, (Karaoke Jocky) so I know what its like to want. People tell me I should go on american idol, or america's got talent, but I know they look at people who are overweight like its a joke, and I don't have the confidence to go through the dissapointment. But its still a big dream of mine to go big. I think if we stay positive that we have the will power to make more opportunities for ourselves, and we will do the things we thought we couldn't before cause of our weight, then the breaking down won't hurt us too bad ya know. Its all in the mind power. Lol <-- look at me ramble. xD

I do to, and it kinda makes me feel like im an alien or something cause they don't know what its like and can't relate. Yeah it will, we will be all happy about the weight we lost and how we look, and feel good about the work we've done. And they will sit there and pick and poke at themselves to try and get the attenion we will be getting lol. =.]

Oh I see, I will check that out lol. Psh, I wish I had the "underweight" issue lol, then I could eat pretty much what I wanted and not feel bad about it, or a pig. lol. Well I have very broad shoulders, and my bones are set to be bigger, I guess, that what I was told, so im never going to be a size 4-7 like my mother. =./

Yeah, for its hard being 350+, I pretty much have no self confidence, at all. Yeah, I never had the courage to be in groups like that, so I give you huge props for doing it. I totally agree, and it does hurt, I have friends that do that, and they usualy do it for attention. They don't understand that they could be much bigger, and how it affects the people who actualy have lived through being bigger a good amount of their lifetime. Im sure when we are "normal" people as you say lol, we will appericiate it alot more that the ones who pick and poke at themselves for the attention. Lol its okay, rambleing is cool with me. xD I do it too, if you haven't noticed. =.]

Eh, well it sucks for me then huh lol. Yeah, I know, but I just want it over with, ya know? I want between 140-160. For my height and age I should be 135, but my body build won't let that happen, unforunally. =./ Yeah, people who don't know what a big accomplishment to be 160 would think its still "big" However, you could so be a plus size model. 160 is the perfect weight there, and personaly id love to be that size, now knowing what its like to be 350lbs +. I understand, its only because they have always been skinny, and don't know what a struggle it is being overweight and hateing it. My nurse told me I could lose some friends over the band and loseing weight, but if you look at it, if they hate you for being heathy, then were they really your true friend?

Well im glad im not alone. Its awesome talking to someone who understands what its like, you know what I mean? Haha yeah they will.

Yeah, I understand. Haha im suposed to be 135, but with my body build its not going to happen. =./ At least thats what im told, I wish I could though, id feel so good about myself.

Oh, and im not sure about my ugw yet. Im going for anywhere between 145-160. How about you?

Yeah, and im glad im not alone. I feel like im the odd ball out all the sime because of my size. Im the only on in my classes that is bigger. & its like I can't do some things the other girls can. Guys don't look at me the same either, then I try to ignore it, but it gets to me in the end. I hate it. =./

Yeah it does, im sick of being sick. =./

Yeah. Eh im just kinda nervous and anxious and excited all at once, its craxy lol. Yeah insurances are weird like that I have Excellus BCBS, and iono what they are gonna say but the hospital said 6 months.

Eh, it only bothers me because when im nervous the fast I do it, the easyer it is for me to do it. Also im really excited to lose weight that I couldn't before you know what I mean. Also im hopeing it could help with my self confidence issues lol. xD

I understand, and yeah. Cause they don work or do and weird effects ect. Lol. =.]

My sister is kinda, mostly in the thy area, she can fit into tiny jeans but shes got a tummy. Yeah, ive been told it goes by fast, but not fast enough for me lol. Im no excited and want it to be over with already. xD Oh lol, its the Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital of NewYork-Presbyterian. =.]

Wow, yeah it will be a new experience. Yup, once a month for 6 months they said, to evaluate me to get approved for surgery. I don't understand why its going to take so long.

Oh I see. I don't know about my schools amount of aloud missed days. I know I have alot, but they keep changeing my pills so I always feel sick. Yeah, I always get my work though. Ohh, now it makes since. Thanks for clearifying. =.]

Thats cool. Lol, I bet. My mom & I look nothing alike, also shes a natrual size 6. xD Unfortunally im not. =./ Im am not yet banded, but im starting the 6 month program in a hospital in Manhatten.

Wow. Mine is In NYC, they have an Adolecent Bariatric Center. They were the only ones we could find to do it for me. It is around 5 hours away from my house. xD

I understand. I hope mine approves me. xD Im kinda worried about that. Yeah, I would want a good insurance too, it would suck to pay for an insurance that doesn't do anything. Well that sucks, maybe you need to change it? Trust me I don't wanna go to school tomorrow either, and im not even banded lol. xD But I miss alot of school cause of fam. issues and doc. appt. Haha yeah, I know, but I never understood the no drinking thing lol.

Hi Aerial, Im Tonya. Welcome to the site. I have found it very useful, and I hope you do too. Its always nice to met new people. Are you banded yet?

Really? I hope mine does. Yeah, also they want to know if im capable of fufilling the journy, and not to give up. Wow lol, I am nevous too, but thats cause I have to go to a place where ive never been & stuff, & Its pretty far from my home town. Thanks. =.]

Wowness. Thats what I have now. Wow, 19? That sucks. Wow that sucks. So who do you think your going to go with for insurance? I know alot of the insurance companys are jerks. xD Well thats good. I hope you continue to feel better. Yeah I know, & that is why ima eat mad slow and chew until its pretty much evaporated lol. =.]

Thanks, and I hope so. & I don't think it will though, b/c I have to go through the 6 month evaluation thingy, cause im only 16. So, I will end up being 17 when I officially go into surgery, but I hope it goes fast. I have my first appointment on March 25th. Im very excited lol.

Wow that does not sound good. What happened to your insurance? How do you get fills and check ups? I hope nothing happend to your band, like slippish or leaking. xD Im worried about that. & Im worried about how weird the "Sliming" might be, if it happens to me. xD

Sorry, things with the family have been mad hetic. However, I have amazeing news. I have found a doctor to do the surgery, and im going for my first app. sometime in March, and then I have to do some 6 month evaluation thingy. xD Ehh, its a big step closer though right? Anyways how are you doing?

Lol, yeah its always good to have options. Lol, its all good, I like youtube too, I just never find time. Lol thanks, my mom will, she will look everywhere online for it, she gets determind sometimes, even when its not something big lol Yes my regents week is this month, I have one 2 day regents, I hope I can work around. *praying* lol Yeah I know right. I still have to do some community service for my government class or I fail and all I can think about is getting my band, and some other things. Ehh, I hate school, I suck at it lol. xD

Thats really cool, maybe tattoo artist is your choses profession. That is an awesome tat. Yeah lol, youtube is pretty great. Iono if I did or not, actually, I don't remeber alot of what I put on here lol. Yeah it does suck. I was telling my mom about that game, I think shes going to look for it, but iono yet. Im still in need for a doc. and because x-mas vacation is over, im planning it for my regents week I have off. So.. im still hopeful.

Yeah I guess so. Coolie, i'll remeber to write that one down. =.] Lol, thats awesome, do you love to draw and stuff? Cool, I will check it out when you put it up. Yeah it is pretty weird. Coolie, im going to look a few things up on youtube, I haven't found much time to be on here with the holidays and stuff, only holidays in my family just mean its time to fight and make everything worse... Well im much bigger than you dear, I am 350lbs to be exact, and the wii fit board malfunctions for people over, I believe it is 300lbs. So.. until I lose 50lbs or so, it will give me false readings.

Well thats good that you have no more nausea. Wow that sucks. Oh ive leaned that lesson trust me, (about the walmart cheap jewlery.) Yeah, thats where I go, and also bodycandy.com, is a good website. =.] My sister is an artist, so we made a tattoo gun and I was her first customer, and shes pretty amazing at it. =.] Yeah lol, ehh, I can take the pain but watching someone else, it gives me a weird feeling. xD Iono why though. Coolie, yeah I bet its alot of money, im not to into the sleeve thing, but it would probabaly look awesome on you. Good advice lol. I know the wii fit only works for people who weigh like 200lbs and down, so it wont work for me but if you put a blanket under it it tricks it to work, but the results are false. Ive never heard of wii active, but ima look it up. =.]

{read bottom first.} Haha cool, at least you have someone cute to stare at and ignore the pain. =.] Oh, well I can understand that kinda, cause I got mine done, and I couldn't watch my sister get her tonuge done, I had to look away lol. Cute. I have like 4 tattoo ideas, and im not even 18 yet lol. xD Coolie, thanks for the tip I will look into that game, I was also thinking about the wii fit.

I see lol. It didn't bother my gaga reflexes, I just got a 16g in front of my 14g so its smaller and didn't really hurt lol. Coolie. Yeah, I understand lol. Nope, I do not, I only had them for like maybe 3 months, then they got infected cause the person who did them pierced them in the wrong place, and I was alergic to the type of plastic that I had in. =./ Yeah the healing process was crappy, bit I really like mine too, I believe Ive had mine done for 2 years this jan. Im pretty sure I was 14, cause I got my tattoo when I was 11, my tongue when I was 13, the my indudtrial, then my snakebites when I was 15, lol. I can only remeber by the time line.

I will. =.] Thats what I said at first, then after a while of thinking about it, I just went for it, plus my sister got her 3rd, and she didn't want to be alone, so I said what the heck and just did it lol. Coolie, I don't want my snakebites back, they didn't look so well on me, in my opinon everyone else said they looked good, but I didn't lol. I think once you've been through it repierceing might not be so bad. lol I have my industral done, it hurt like hell and takes a year to heal, but I like it lol. Coolie, I have to wait for my other tattoos, my tattoo gun broke, and my sister and I have to make a new one. lol. =.] What is the tattoo going to be of?

Oh, that stinks. Thanks. I hope my doc does, cause I love my 2nd tongue pierceing. =.] lucky, I hope so lol. Good idea. Thanks for the sites. Your a huge help. =.]