Evanescent_Soul

Haha awesome. =.]

Haha, my friends are planning a spring break in Flordia, and I was told I have to go no matter what lol. =.]

My prom has already past lol. I went, and I don't do homecomeing. I dunno. Im thinking of putting my b-day in the hands of my best friend. =.] Haha yeah. Mines the 2nd of august. xD Haha oh my lol. That will be intersting. lol Don't be nervous you will be fine. =.]

Yeah, I could really used a licence, and maybe a job lol. Not to mention a car lol.

Awe, hey, I was finally right about something. =.] Yay! lol. Ha, a vacation, now thats entertaining. Lol. Vacations don't happen around where I live.

Yeah, Nope I don't. I don't do birthday partys, not my kind of deal. Im more of a few close friends, and fam, a campfire, pool, and some parrot bay. =.] Coolie, I wish you much fun. lol. Wow. thats not to far away. You will do wonderfully. =.] Thanks. .

{Read other part first =.] =.P}

Now, everything is starting to settle down some though. Im slightly getting back on track. Hopefully. =.| Im almost 18, so I figured its not going to hurt to wait.. ive got nothing else really to look forward to, so im makeing that it. =.| Good luck. =.] .Hope everything goes smoothly.

Awe, im so jelous! Lol, I have my 5 hour course the 28th. Plus, you have a car. xD Eh.. im very jelous lol. =.]

Oh wow, =./. Thats a possibillity, don't be nervous, lots of people have to have that done, and it could really help you, with the way you feel, and with your weight. =.]. Thanks, and I know. The thing is, you all have the tool to help you and keep you focused, every time you start to drift, you can think, "Hey I went through the pain and hassel of the surgerry to not do this, and im going to stick to my band." I have nothing stopping me besides the slight motivation of really wanting and needing to not do it. Its hard, I have strong will power, but when Im not the supporting on who buys and decides what and when and everything to eat, and haveing to be the mental suport of my family its hard. Im pretty much standing at the edge of a cliff balanceing everyone else but me.

Awe, thats got to be exciteing. =.]

Ouch, that sucks. Eh, feel better! Um no, im not doing well at all, things with my family have been so hetic, I don't have time to watch or monotor, and help when I eat. Ive been so bad with food the last month. Im pretty sure ive gained back plus some. =./ Eh, im not going to give up yet though. This year has not been my year lol. I hope your surgery goes well though, maybe you will lose a couple extra cause of it =.]. My mom lost weight after she got hers out lol. You never know it could be a plus. =.]

Sorry I haven't replyed in a while. At lots been happening.

Yeah, well I deff failed it. Lol, oh well. No summer school for me though. Ima take it again next year, I have room lol. Ive lost about 10 pounds from my dietion, but ive been downing bad stuff lately. Not doing so well. Ima be 18 before I get it so instead of going through aganoy and unnessesary prosedures, im going to wait. Eh, so how have you been?

Yeah. Thanks, your awesome. =.] Eh, im trying, I just wish it would pass faster. xD Im pretty sure ima fail a class or too, but I have extra room in my schedual next year, if not summer school. xD So yeah.

Yeah. Im trying, eh, slowly alright, its pretty much like a turttle right now. lol. Thanks your right, and I will try its just all takin a toll on me. xD I really don't know how I started b4, I just started, and I also didn't have a ton of stess on me. lol.

Yeah, thanks. Im haveing my friend toutor me in Economics. I hope it will help. xD Ive been trying that actually.Eh, ive been doing horrible with my diet right now. Im so stressed, and theres so much happening in my family right know I can't even think straight. Im pretty depressed lately and my OCD has gotten worse because of my anexiety level increaseing. I keep telling myself I shouldn't eat this, or that. Or I should work out now, or I should make sure to write this down, but ive been do drained lately. Ive barely gotten 3 hours of sleep a night in the last 2 weeks. xD My body's like freaking out. I know i need to get myself staight though, but im not sure on how im going to do it.

{Sorry for venting, im just loseing my mind. =.[ }

Haha yeah. Eh, I will have to take the conomics final. Im failing right now. I suck in that class. xD Ehh, you can so tutor me. Lol. Yay! =.] lol. Yeah I hope so, eh, I need more confidence. But im defff, gonna have to trick my mind lol. =.]

Yup. =.] Lol. Eh, nope I get out next month the 15th. But were doing like practice finals now, cause my school does a month ahead, while still learning new things. Its confuseing. Eh, I can't wait until they are all over and done with though. Im so excited for you graduateing! Always, im here for you when ever you need to talk. =.] Lol. Eh, im still nervous that now that I lost a few pounds that im gonna end up not loseing anymore, or something. Iono, its weird with my mind. I just have to keep tricking myself I guess lol. =.]

Its good to know I help you as well. =.] & you do help, very much so, its awesomeing haveing you to talk to. Thats awesome, and ehh, I know what you mean. =./ Finals are killin me lol. Thats coolie about graduating. =.] Awesome, I wish you luck with your diet. =.] I hope I have the will power you do. =.] lol.

Yeah, I hope so. =.]

Thanks. Im very grateful for your support. =.] Yeah me to. Man am I excited. =.] Im still curious on how your doing. =.] lol.

I have an update. =.]

So I went to the doctors today, and ive lost 7 pounds, in the last month. So I pretty exited. & My doctor is send all of my updates to my doctors. & Since ive been doing so well, I might be able to start my visits in NYC early. So im very exited. =.]

Hope to hear from you soon. =.]

Yeah.

Yeah I guess lol. Not really, well that I know of. But im going to ask my friend Katie, her mother is all into them things to see if I can find something. =.]

So how about you been?

Awe. I can't tell you I know what you mean, or how you feel. Ive never lost anyone I was close to. I lost my biological grandmother, but about the time she decided she wanted to be apart of our lives, it was to late, she died 2 years after we met. We only saw her a couple times durring them 2 years, for like easter and some family gaterings. But thats nice to think about, seeing him in your dreams. =.]

I will, eventually, im not very curious, but I tryed on a pair of my jeans yesterday, and I could never wear them, because they were so tight and uncomfortable, and now they fit just fine. I was so suprized. Oh that does sound fun, I wish we had something like that around me.

Oh I see. And awe, im sorry about your grandfather. But at least your mom got healthyer. =.] Yeah lol.

Lol, how creative lol. I have scale use at my school, if I really need to. =.] Haha yeah lol. =.]

Oh I see. My cousin is alergic to that too. Well thats good she quit, I wish my parents would quit. Nope its not lol. =.]

I know I should, andive been doing pretty good. Ive even been walking for 45 min. every day. But eh, I kinda feel like im gaining weight. xD Yeah I do too, but im still always tired, and always feel like I just wanna go back to sleep lol.

Yup, an ehh, good luck lol. Wowness, they don't do that to me, but I used to smoke them, it was kind of an peer thing cause my whole family smokes, and everyone I was and kinda am around does, so I was a loser and followed. But then I got sick and noticed that im just not the smokein type so I stopped. =.] Yeah I guess lol, and ofcourse you do. Yeah I bet lol, and yup I know. =.]

Yeah, your more than likely right. Its just alot of work. Eh, I need to start excersiseing, and getting more sleep, but its not happeneing very well. =./ Ive been pretty good with my diet, but I highly doubt that ima lose anything. =./

(Lol. =.])

Yeah, but the walks going to be delayed. I just got pretty sick. I feel like a 60 year old chain smoker. xD & I hate ciggerettes lol. Yeah Im with you on that. Only that my first car is promised to me, fully paid for and put on my parents insurance because they did that for my sister with, I believe like 4 cars, so im in line for something to, if not I can play the unfar unloved trip, cause its just not right. =.] I see lol. Oh well, i think that kinda happenes everywhere. Lol, yeah, I would 2.

Lol I hope it works. & im excited to, but im hopeing that this is what my insuance wants so I can get the band cause the more bull, they have me do, im pretty sure the less cooroportive my moms going to be with them. xD lol.

(Sorry for the delay on the reply, ive been busy with midtearms. =.[)

Coolie, im hopeing to do a 3 mile walk soon. I know its not much but its a start right? Yeah I want my licence so bad lol, and a car. I haven't evn aken my 5 hour course yet, but I do have my permit so, im getting there. Good luck, though, ima be so jelous when you get yours lol. Your school sounds much better than mine lol, id love to join you, then id have a walkin buddy =.] lol.

But in other news, I went to see my Dietition/ Nutritionist yesterday, and she set me up with a diet, im on a 1,200 calorie diet, and im set up to have to eat everything like I would as if I had the band. So if I follow through on this diet for I think its like, 3 months, then my insurance will most likely approve me. So im excited. =.]

Lol, Those are good ideas, I will try them out. Im getting my licence soon, so Im hopeing I can drive into town and walk around for a couple hours with some friends, like I used to. I live a while from town. xD Yeah my school is strange, its just that they favor the sports players, if you play sports you've got it set, but id you don't, it pretty much sucks to be you.

Lol. Haha yeah, some of my dogs do that too. I do sometimes, but its still boring and, unmotivateing lol. Eh, my aunt has a tredmill that I use sometimes, and none of my friends need to, or want to workout lol. So, im kinda alone. =./ Eh, my school seems much different that yours. I get in to trouble a bit, so being near the school when its not nessecary seems like a stupid idea on my part. Id get an ISS just for walking in the door. =./ Ehh..

Lol, yeah it is. Eh, I will try, my parents hate magazines though, so.. xD I know how that is, and yeah I have 4 dogs lol. Yeah, well mine are all tiny little babys who think they're tough guys lol. Especially my poodle. lol. xD Yeah I know, but its hard sometimes, yeah my school has that and student hours, but I don't feel comfotable working out infront of all of the jocks and sporty girls who have mad abs and think they are all that. Its just not worth the dirty looks, time and embarassment, or trouble. With my luck Id end up breaking on of their noses and get suspended again. =./

Lol. Yeah, but it didn' help much, my principle is kinda iono, he trys to be more of a friend than principle to everyone. He doesn't resolve much. Yeah lol. Yeah I know, but my attempts always end in failure, no matter what. & I wish we lived closer too lol, I could use your positiveness and help lol. I live 7 miles from my park lol. I do have my own trails though, 70 acers worth, but still I have no one to walk with either, so I know what you mean. It sucks fighting alone, and I don't ever go alone either. =./ Eh, I still feel like everytime I get one step closed something pulls me 3 steps back.