After909

Hey everyone. I was banded almost 3 weeks ago, so only really just starting out on my journey. What I wanted to talk about: I'm becoming increasingly aware that I'm already obsessing over numbers and the speed with which the pounds are coming off (or not coming off!) I know it's common to go a bit crazy with weighting yourself and things like that, but that's not so much my problem. I find I'm constantly thinking four months down the line and not really concentrating on the journey itself. It leads to a lot of frustration, like the weight can never come off quick enough, or I'm unwilling to admit that my appearance is changing for the better. It's like it's all or nothing, like I'm either at goal or I'm a fat person who needs to stay in the background and wait it out. I guess I want to stop giving myself such a hard time and get past this feeling - it's like I'm postponing my life and any celebration until I'm at goal (and what is this 'goal' anyway?? Is a number really going to make me suddenly a much happier person?) I know rationally that thinking this way is counter-productive, but I seem to be stuck in this state of mind where I feel like I can't enjoy life until I'm this dream person, and I weigh some dream number - only THEN can I enjoy things. Has anyone got any advice on how to get out of this way of thinking? I'd love to be able to calm down and just take things a day at a time, but I'm driving myself a bit crazy at the moment, and it's early days yet!

Cathy, I didn't get a notification that you'd replied, so sorry for the late response! Thank you very much for the advice, I'm trying to take it one day at a time and try new (non-food-related) things. I think unfortunately for too long I've let my weight be a big part of what defines me. It's definitely time to start finding other things, more positive things, to get involved with and occupy my thoughts with.

Hey guys, I was just wondering if anyone had any views about how weight-loss surgery is viewed in the UK. The obesity epidemic is always in the news and I think we do compare the worsening problem here to what's going on in the US, in terms of health-care, also in terms of how we think of food manufacturers, our relationship with food in general, and excessiveness in our culture. Do you think that people have a worse opinion of WLS in the UK? Does it carry a bigger stigma? Do we have a lower tolerance for people who have a weight problem? I'd be interested to know what people think.

Yes, I think that changing our relationship with food is a big deal, particularly when food has been a major part of life, always in our minds. Now I guess I need to start thinking about LIFE again. Maybe it's just that I've cut out a lot of things from my life because of my weight, so part of my frustration may just be coming from the fact that I'm still in that mode of thinking where my relationship with food and my dissatisfaction with my body is the main focus. As they say, maybe I just need a hobby! There's more to life than being skinny (though you wouldn't think it, the way the media's so obsessed with beauty and skinnyness) I can certainly believe what you say about steaming past goal once you stopped obsessing about it. Thanks for the advice. Thanks a lot, RaleighLap. Yeah, I definately agree that short-term goals are the way to go. I've just got to try and stop dreaming about the end point and Celebrate the little successes. Thanks guys!

I was recently banded with THG. Has anyone got any updates on their support groups in the northwest? Are lots of people still having bad experiences with them?

I had a nasty upset stomach about a week and a half after my surgery, but only for one day. Perhaps drinking some kind of Probiotic would help (Activia or Yakult)? You should perhaps see your doctor to check if you're having a reaction to the increase in dairy (that's supposing you're having lots more milk Protein shakes or yoghurt now than previously). And in general be careful that you're getting enough Water, I think that having diarrhea for this long will leave you very dehydrated. Hope you feel better soon, I only had this for a day and it was not pleasant!

I guess everyone has their reasons for putting on weight, it can be so complicated and it's tied up with habits and addiction. Although society makes people feel ashamed for overindulgence and for seeming to lack control, I don't think it does anyone any good to go around feeling ashamed, particularly when you have recognised you needed to make a change in your lifestyle and you've come so far in achieving that. I think you should definitely feel proud! I hope when I'm at my goal weight, I won't look back at who I was with any bad feelings, it's like holding onto the past and punishing yourself over who you used to be. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss!

Thanks very much, I think that's the thing, it's not knowing how he'll react, I guess I'm just expecting the worst and it most likely won't be as bad as I imagine. Thank you! I'm doing better every day, my body's just been a bit like 'what did you DO to me?!' I'm definitely glad I got it done though. Hope you're managing well too!

Hi everyone, I'm almost a week away from getting banded. I've told three of the four people closest to me, but I'm having so much trouble with trying to tell the fourth - one of my parents. I'm 20 and my family are the most important people in my life. I've had quite a battle trying to bring those I have told around to accepting my decision to have the surgery done (it's taken a year of talking it all through to get them to understand). Even now, they're dubious about my choice, but are respecting it and being really supportive. I'm feeling so guilty about not telling this one person, but while I feel able to defend my decision with the rest of my family, with this one person I just feel so awful when I think of telling them. I'm not entirely sure why, I think there are a lot of issues there. I just couldn't take their reaction right now, right before I'm about to go through with it. I also think I'm sort of dreading having to 'own up' to how out of control I've felt with food for most of my life, and coming out and saying that I've had major self esteem issues because of how I look, and this surgery is how I mean to fix it (or at least address and try to deal with it). I'm close with both of my parents, but somehow this is just so hard for me. Am I being selfish? Do both of my parents have a right to know about this - am I just avoiding taking responsibility and standing by my choices? What I really don't want is for this person to find out later and feel really hurt that I didn't tell them. Or, worst of all (I can barely stand to think of it), if something went wrong during the surgery and they found out that way. I don't know, I'm so worried about this. Any advice?

Hey melmarlem, thanks for the advice. I had my surgery a couple of days ago, it seems to have gone fine, I'm just recovering at the moment. Congrats on your surgery! Yay we're bandsters! :thumbup: I didn't end up telling my Dad, and I'm still thinking about when I will tell him. I know I'll have to come clean about it in the near future, and I take on board all that you're saying, it's ultimately worse to keep putting it off and worrying about it. I know it would be better to just get it over with and be open about my decision. But I can't face the idea right now. My parents are divorced and I guess my weight is just one of those things I've never been able to talk about with my Dad. I can't imagine him ever understanding why I'd go and do this, but I know that I ought to just accept that he maybe won't understand, but he still deserves to know about it. I don't think I could have gone through with the surgery if I hadn't had the support of the rest of my family, so I know what you mean about it being a massive comfort, especially on surgery day and immediately after. Don't know what I'd have done without them. Aw shucks, thanks Linda! Yeah, this is the sort of thing I settled on. I think that telling people pre-op leaves a lot more room for arguing and others trying to talk you out of it, but once you've done it, it sort of shows just how serious you were, and then once you tell people, it's not a case of asking for their permission, it's more about asking them to come to terms with it. Still, I don't feel happy about keeping secrets from family, so maybe the thing to do is set a date and make sure I've told my Dad by then, so it doesn't feel like I'm just putting it off as long as I can. Thanks for all the replies, this forum is a big help!

"I felt that this was for me and that I did not need to explain why I wanted this." Thanks for the reply Chris, I definitely agree with you that it's important to make this decision for yourself, so that's what I'm going to try and keep in mind. "Don't set your self up for rejection or hurt if you think that is what will happen. You need to be in a good state of mind for your upcoming journey. Good luck!" Thank you! Yeah, I do want to tell all of the people closest to me eventually, but right now when I'm already trying to keep positive about the surgery and not let my fears get to me, I don't think I could take having a big debate about it and having to defend my decision all over again. Thanks for the advice :-)