Jancsoulmate

I am an individual who has had multiple addictive behaviors all my life.  Everything I do, I usually do to excess.  I drank alcoholically for 8-9 years years to excess, I smoked cigarettes for 30 years to excess and now I have eaten myself to excess. I guess I should start with my first problem - alcohol. I quit drinking alcohol in March of 1989 due to my 'excessive' drinking habit of having to drink on a daily basis. I started the daily drinking after my divorce in 1980 & when I met a younger guy who really loved to drink. So we drank and partied away for a good 8-9 years. In 1987, I found out this man was molesting my (then) 9 year old daughter. I had him arrested and in jail THAT DAY! Thank God. So then my drinking habit really escalated from there. I got very depressed and angry and continued to drink daily to 'forget' my problems.  In 1988 I finally went back to work full time, and was trying to get my act together for myself and my 3 children.  But it was difficult, the children's father rarely helped me out financially nor did he see his children on a somewhat consistent basis.  The was a very difficult time for all of us. So I just kept getting deeper into depression and drinking.  Finally, in March of 1989, I was forced to move (otherwise known as evicted) out of the apartment we were living in.  My sister could not take me & 3 children in, my father and his wife wouldn't take us in, so I had no other choice but to contact the local homeless shelter. Luckily they had a bed for all of us (1 for me & each of my children).  This was on March 16, 1989.  The last day I drank was the night before on March 15th. So began my sober life.  And also a whole new journey for me. I gained about 25 - 30 pounds my first few YEARS sober. I didn't gain a lot, becuase I was still having to walk everywhere. I didn't have a car and I needed to walk to work and to the store, so I hadn't really gained much weight during my first years sober.  Even thoughI was eating more instead of drinking, I was keeping my wieght down. I weighed maybe 155 or so at this time. Maybe less. Then into my 3rd year of sobriety, my job was moving from a ten minute walk from my house to a 45 minute drive to another town.  So I wanted to keep this job and was able to get some help from some NEW friends that were able to help me get my driver's license back. And my ex-husband actually helped me to get a car. SO - now this is when a lot of weight problems start happening.Now that I have a car, I don't have to walk ANYWERE!  And did I?  Hell no. It was much easier to stop at the store after work and pick up what I needed than to walk down the street.  Here's what started happening.  I probably gained 20 - 30 pounds within a few months time.  I was able to maintain that sort of weight for a while. So now I am about 175-180.  Still big for me, I wasn't even that heavy when I was pregnant with my children. So I stayed pretty much that weight for quite a few years, but I also started having so health issues.  It was around this time that I found out I had Sleep Apnea.  I  went for a sleep study and they did find out that I stopped breathing around 90 times a night.  And that's moderate sleep apnea.  But I was constantly tired and was having a fard time staying awake even driving TO work. Well, then I moved to a different part of the state altogether.  I started feeling very lonely and homesick, and I missed all my AA buddies, and my sister.  Two of my children (my boys) were old enough to be on their own and one lived in Bristol and one lived in New Haven. Only my daughter came with me and stayed with me.  But now I wasn't working and I was falling into a huge depression, which I had never experienced depression like this before. Then I started to gain even a little more weight. Now I'm up to almost 190!   Holy crap, I could care less at this time too. Depression will do that.  And then I also found out I had Type II Diabetes.  This was in 1994, totally depressed, away from home, my son just gave birth to my first grandson, I'm really lonely and I am not happy that now I have to deal with Type II Diabetes.  Of course, the first thing you are told is to watch what you eat!  Yeah Right.  I gave up my booze, I wasn't giving anything else up!But eventually I woke up from that whole nightmare, and after watching my father die due to lung cancer, I (and my husband) decided to give up smoking.  Now I had jsut lost about 35 pounds on weight watchers, I had gained up to 225 at this time, but was finally down to 194.  Yeah, I was now down below the 200 mark. And then we decide to quit smoking.  My 2nd vice that I said I would NEVER quit! But we did. That was in January of 2004.  I weighed approx. 198.  I was feeling good, going to WW and I had a great job working at Foxwoods Resort Casino. I was actually having to do a lot of walking every day, which helped.  Even thoughI had quit smoking, I hadn't gained any weight in 3-4 months.  Stayed about the same, but didn't gain.  Then my very vindictive & insecure co-worker devised a story to get myself and our boss fired from Foxwoods.  She was good friends with a tribal member who believed her story, so I was fired and so was my boss.  That was in May of 2005.  After that, it was all downhill from there.  I quickly went back into my depressed mode, and began to eat like freakin' crazy.  I wasn't working, staying home & yes enjoying my pool, getting a nice tan and such, but depressed as hell.  My diabetes hit the rook. I was on 3-4 different medications for that.  Life just plain sucked.  I now weighted about 220 again.  Then I did get a job, where I am currently still employed, at a local Health District.  This is totally different from Medical Health, this is Public Health. We have to inspect al the food restaurants in our district and approve various building applications. So I am working again and feeling really good about my new job, and life is getting better.  I am still not doing great health wise.  Still have sleep apnea, Type II diabetes and now I have restless leg syndrome.  Had to have a left knee arthroscopic procedure a couple years back.  I just keep getting larger and larger.  Then last June my daughter, whom I am very close too), moved away to Florida.  She's 30 years old and has the right to live wherever she wants, but I got very depressed over it.  Still am at times.  I miss her a lot.  So now I am working, but again depressed, hurting, and my diabetes is out-of-control.  My doctor put me on Type II insulin last August, and my sugar was still out of control. And I know it was all do to my eating habits. I just didn't give a crap. I eat what I like, and that is it.  So at 272 pounds, I went to my first seminar for lap-band surgery las February. And that began this process to help me get a healthier happier me.  I started my liquid diet on July 26th, weighing 272.8 pounds.  I went in for my surgery on August 10th weighing 255.6 pounds.  I am about now down to 253 or so.  I am still very, very bloated from the surgery. I go back to see Dr. Barba this Monday the 17th.  But NOW I at least feel there is hope for me!  The liquid diet is very hard.  I miss my food, but I am not going to get sick and in worst health by NOT doing what I am supposed to be doing.  I am just finishing my 1st week of the post op meal plan.  One more week and then onto baby food I guess.  Well, that's my story, and how I got to be so UNHEALTHY and now I look forward to REGAINING my HEALTH and my life back!