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Tom, you are a riot!! And I LOVE snow.... since I live near the beach, my idea of a great vacation is to go somewhere that has snow falling.... I saw it for the first time 2 years ago... it was so incredibly beautiful!! So we are each lucky in our own way!! Congrats on doing so well with your workouts and your weightloss! :clap2: Karen

Tweety, am I reading your signature correctly... you have a 10cc band and had 2 fills, and are only at about 4cc now? I have only 2cc in my 10cc band, and expect to get another 2cc with my second fill next month. Can you please let us know if what you have is not doing the trick? I am so far away from my doctor and I will ask for more of a fill if 4ccs seems too little. Thanks... and yes, I am not as "hot-blooded" now as before... maybe it DOES have something to do with our weight?? Karen

:clap2: YEAH, CHRIS!!! It is so good to hear from you!! I'm so glad you haven't forgotten us!! I'm happy to hear that you are doing so well.... are you feeling good/energenic? What size band did you get? I am going for my second fill on March 12; the first one didn't do anything!! But I have the 10cc band, and so it will take awhile, I suppose. It is so good to know you are "following us around".... please, come stay awhile!! Karen

Vicki, That would be great! I would love to know another person who feels like I do about the beach.... I am also white as snow, and hate how I look in a bathing suit (and would not like to share THAT view with anyone else!) But I LOVE watching the waves, hearing the ocean sounds, walking on sand. Usually, I do that in the early evening.... It is nice to live so close to the beach. :shade: Karen

Toqu, how much of a fill did you get? Karen

Vikki, I agree about loving So. Calif. this time of year!! I live just outside of Ventura, and I drive by the ocean everyday on my way to work....and it is blue, clear, and gorgeous. I open the sun roof on my car and smell the clean air, the breeze is soft and warm.... hmmmmmmmm. I think I need to take some time off work to "smell the roses"!! Whereabouts in O.C. do you live?? Oh, and sorry Tom for this description,....hope you can get a vicarious thrill!! Karen

Way to go, Angela!!! :clap2: You are doing so well.... why do you need a fill? I think you should keep doing as you are, and save the fill for when you hit a long plateau or start getting so hungry you begin to overeat. That is my opinion, but what do I know?? I am not having such good luck with my band as you!! You are doing great!! Are you doing as well emotionally....with all the other changes going on??? I'm pulling for you!!! Karen

As far as the marriage/decision part of this discussion goes, I think we are all saying the same thing, just viewing it from a different perspective. We all agree that no one can get their own way always, that compromise is the key to respectful resolutions, but that sometime we have to bend to the person with the most knowledge or expertise in the area being discussed. That is what happens in a truly Christian marriage or any successful marriage or partnership. We may all call it something different, but it is really the same thing. Those of you not coming from a Christian perspective have a beautiful way of describing your working relationship with your spouses, but it sounds exactly like how my husband and I handle things. We are not so different, after all....!

You must lived a charmed life! I own a business and have been married 38 years.... and in both situations I have had situations come up where all sides of an issue had strong backing. In my business, after I hear everyone else's views, I have to sort through all the emotions and the thoughts and come to a conclusion. Not all will be happy with my decision, but as the saying goes, "you can't please everybody." Same thing in marriage....some decisions can not be a total win-win. Someone has to give in. It is wonderful that you and your hubby can both win, but I have not found that to always be the case in my world!

Gadgetlady, I loved how you explained this "submit" issue... beautifully said! But Laurend, I can understand how this would be hard to grasp, especially if you aren't married. Have you ever been really involved in an organization or business? You know that input is very important from all the principle members, but at some point there may be a stalemate. Someone has to break the impasse and that is usually the boss or supervisor. In a marriage that someone is often the husband but it is so different from a business. Remember that if a husband is admonished to love his wife like Christ loved His church, the husband will try hard to take into consideration the wife's feelings and points of view and find a compromise. Very rarely will a decision ever come down to a "Because I said so" type of solution. Many, many times my husband will see my point of view (I can be very persuasive when I want to ) and he will agree that my way can work. But just like most of us have strengths in some areas and weaknesses in others, spouses know these things about each other and will give way in areas that they are not as knowledgeable.... which certainly helps with the feeling that they are a team. I have never seen a truly Christian marriage that has a dictator as the head of the family. That would tend to be an unhappy marriage, and an unhappy marriage would not be very Christ-like in nature. I guess what I am trying to say is, that in a happy marriage both parties want to please each other, and therefore they don't see decision-making as a power struggle. They ultimately want what is best for their family, and they know that comes from letting the most knowledgeble one in a particular area make the final decision. The end result is more important than how they got there. It is late so I hope I am making sense. This is a great discussion and I am really enjoying hearing all the different viewpoints! Karen

Missy, your story is so similiar to mine---except that my maternal feelings didn't "kick in" full force until the moment my newborn began to nurse. That was 2 days after he was born, but POW! What a feeling....I will never forget it. I went from "indifferent parent" to "Tigress Mom" ("I'd do anything for this child") in approx. 3 seconds! Nice to know so many of us have similiar stories!

What a wonderful career choice! I always thought that working in Real Estate must be a great job, the flexible hours, etc. Perfect for moms with children at home. And congratulations on finding a great husband who allowed you to stay home with the little ones. I know plenty of men who make their wives work so that they can buy more "toys", like cars and boats. Being forced to work and leave your kids is as bad as being forced to stay home if you want to work. So glad it worked out well for you!:clap2: Karen

BJean, While I do believe that kids are better off if one parent could be home to do the primary care of them, I totally agree that if a woman would not be happy staying at home raising kids, she should not feel quilty about that, and she should do what makes her feel fulfilled. But neither should a woman who stays home with her kids be made to feel bad, as so many "women's lib" activists did in the '70 and '80s. I am glad we have arrived at a place where I think most women feel free to do what they want. We are a diverse society, and we will not all agree on anything, particularly in religious matters, childraising, or anything else. I am happy that you have found what works for you, and that you have still maintained your relationship with God. That is wonderful and the most important thing, after all. Karen

Bjean and Sunta, I wonder if we have a big difference in our ages. I grew up hearing that a mother's most important job was to raise her children....but that was the norm in the '50s and '60s. My mom did work outside the home, so that was normal to me too. I never fell oppressed, in fact I looked forward to having children and being home with them. When the '70s hit, there was a whole new view about women's roles, and the pendulum swung to the opposite side. I remember reading a book called The Baby Trap, by Ellen Peck, and she basically called any woman who stayed home with her kids a bore and a dullard. I had just had my first baby then and reading this book made me question my decision to stay home. I began to think about going back to work, as did many other "formerly-happy-to-be-home" moms. Many did but I really felt my kids needed me more at home and so I didn't go back to work until my youngest was 8 years old. My point is that I think that women born around the time of the Woman's Movement grew up differently, with the idea that they should go out and have a career and do other things with their lives. Those of us born before then never really thought about those things, at least not as something we wanted but weren't allowed to do. And so I just don't think the Church should be blamed for talking about traditional roles for women, since that was the accepted norm for all of society up till then. Oh, and by-the-way, when I did decide to go back to work, I started my own business... and our local priests were so happy for me they went around to their parishoners asking them to give my service a try. They helped get my business off to a great start! Karen

My husband and I have been very fortunate to have had only great experiences within the Catholic church. Our priests have helped make our marriage as good as it is; they have encouraged us to have a healthy and lusty sex life with each other, they have helped us give respect to each other, to our children, and to others in our community, and their guidance has pulled us through so many of the natural ups and downs of life. We just celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary, and our faith in our church and our love for each other has only gotten deeper and better with time. I know that other people may not have the same experiences, and I respect other's feelings about this subject, but I just had to add my positive ones. Karen

Good one, Carlene!! :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh:

Yes, and have you ever wondered why there seem to be so many women willing to put up with these egotistical and chauvanistic jerks? Especially when they are being beaten and abused? I know there are many psychological reasons for the willingness of a woman to accept abuse, but it seems to me that we focus so much on the woman's issues and not enough on the reasons and the cure for men who like to abuse. We put them in jail, then they get out and do it again. Oftentimes to the same willing woman. I wonder if it is even possible to fix a truly abusive man?

Bjean, I also was a religious and virginal 19-year-old, marrying a very young, religious and inexperienced guy. Our wedding night was fantastic and fun---all that exploring!--- and something we still talk about, even after 38 years of marriage. I think what happened to you had alot more to do with the type of man you married than anything relating to either religion or sexual experience. Your first husband sounds like an egotistical jerk, and they can be found in anyone, religious or not. I have known several men who have been sexually active since their early teens, and they are some of the most egotistical people on earth. They treat their wives and girlfriends like slaves and think they are God's gift to women. I always thought it was because they took sex so casually and didn't learn respect or self-control, but now I think it is just because some people are just born to treat others like dirt, whether it is to make themselves feel important or just because they don't care about anyone except themselves. I am sorry to hear about your first marriage, but he sounds like the type of guy I was talking about and you are far better off now, thank goodness! Karen

What a nice post, Marni.... thank you. LOL about the "all you can eat buffet" comment---I agree totally! I sometimes eat a little something before I go out to eat just so I won't lick the plate after my meal..... I was sooooooo wanting to only be able to eat 1/2 an appetizer . :cry Thanks again for the support, Karen

Thanks, Angela.... I'll look forward to it.... Karen

Thanks, Betsyjane.... it is good to be reminded that others have been through the same thing. I can't wait to be let out of the cage, too!! Karen

I agree, but my doctor only does fills on Mondays, and is booked up way in advance. By the time I realized I didn't get any restriction with my last fill and tried to get in to get another, I could only get a date 9 weeks later! My doctor is about 3 hours away, and I have to go there for my insurance to cover it, so...... I am stuck!! I am so happy for all of you that are doing so well, but feel a bit envious because I don't really know what you are experiencing...I don't know what a restriction feels like, being "too full", even a PB! I think that is why I haven't felt like posting much here lately, because I don't really feel like a banded person....:think Karen

Brooksie, I soooo understand where you are coming from! I am doing the same as you, without the PBs, since I have no restriction yet---even with 1 fill. I watch what I eat for a couple of days, then overeat, the get discouraged and REALLY overeat... then start all over again with dieting, etc. I try not to weigh too often, but find that I am following the same pattern as before I was banded. The scale dictates my mood for the day... and how much I eat. I do think that maybe a support group like Overeaters Anonymous may be the key, or maybe WeightWatchers, etc. Something to give us the daily "straightening out" that we may need to hold onto the new and healthier habits were know we need to keep. I don't go for my second fill for another month, and it is pulling me down so badly to watch myself see-saw like this. So I know I am eating for more reasons than hunger... and I need to get a grip on this. You can do this, and I know I can, also. We just need more help than some others, y'know? Hang in there.... and I will too! Karen

And that was a pretty awesome post, Gadgetlady!!

Glad you found the article interesting! Yes, I also wish the media would give the other side a little more print. What I liked about this article was that it cannot be dismissed as "right-wing propaganda", since there is nothing "right-wing" about this guy!