DizzyLizzy

No, I am not just crying over twelve pounds. Unlike many who have been normal and then all of sudden put on weight they couldn't lose, I have been overweight ALL my life and had been on serious workouts and dieting for 3 1/2 years prior to surgery, so my crying is not just about 12 lbs, it's about my whole life and my frustration with even though doing everything right still, I'm not getting anywhere and seeing other just drop weight like it's no problem pre band and post band. This post was simply an expression of MY PERSONAL frustration and just like everyone doesn't lose the same, everyone doesn't get frustrated the same and everyone's life story is not the same. I was just reaching out to see if there were others feeling the same way to be able to talk through it and uplift each other and share experiences. So please don't "Jilian on Biggest Loser" me with the tough talk. As i said in my previous posts, I understand that I am actually doing fine with my weight loss thus far, but this is more of a head game FOR ME than I ever expected. I knew it would be hard work, and I am doing the hard work, but in all my pre-op training/classes and all the people I talked to nobody ever explained how mentally challenging it would be.

I guess another thing that is making this hard for me is I personally know a few people who have had lap-band and are at goal, I just just want to be there so bad! And on top of that I have been seriously working hard on losing weight for so long....3 1/2 years now on top of struggling with it all my life! And I got stuck last year when I was losing on my own and was stuck losing and gaining the same 5 lbs for months until I gave up and gained 30 back. And now I'm there again it seems and I'm just afraid that if it takes too long for me to get good restriction that I will give up again and stretch my pouch or make my band slip and then I'll be back at square one and stuck paying off this loan for the next 5 or 6 years. On top of that, the people who know I've had surgery disappointment on top of my own disappointment because it's like if this doesn't work, nothing will! It's just sooo frustrating, it makes me cry at times becuase I have been overweight since pre school and I'm just tired of being the fat pretty girl, cropping photos to only show my face, never wanting to be in the company or family photos because you know they are going to include your full body in the shot. They took pictures at a work gathering before I had surgery and got me unsuspecting and hung them up in the office. I took all the ones of me down and threw them in the trash. I know I'm getting real deep, and sorry to be negative right now, but it's just so much to deal with and all the fears I had pre surgery are coming back. So, I was "faking it until I make it", but sometimes reality rears it's ugly head. And I'm just hoping and praying this finally works for me because there are so many things I want to do in life that my weight has prevented me from doing, I mean super simple things. I know I gotta be strong and have patience, and I'm really really trying. Thank you all again for your support. I don't know any of you, but you all mean so much. I know I am not alone in my fears and frustration, but wow, this is hard. I swear if anyone ever comes to me and says I took the easy way by getting lapband, it will take everything in me to not stick my foot up their tush! I guess it's like life in general...nobody said it would be easy, but it will be worth it. That's what I'm telling myself at the moment anyway.

Thanks so much, you guys. The encouragement is very much appreciated and I needed that. It's just such a terrible mind game for me at this point and it's making me over analyze everything. I guess I just need to get out of my head and get over it and stop comparing myself to others! Go with the flow I suppose! Thank you again...tomorrow's a new day for me to get my head right! Good luck to us all!

Well, my hubby did hide the scale and I actually miss it...haven't been on it since Sunday morning. Feels weird not knowing what I weigh at the moment, even though I know it changes through out the day. I get to have it back tomorrow evening...can't wait for my weigh date and hoping it goes well...lol!

OMG, that is too funny! I took before pictures too, but made sure to upload mine to my photobucket and erase them off my camera in case I happen to lose the camera! Now if only I can find the guts to publish them on here! :thumbup:

I like the Yoplait light flavors...my favorites are lemon, apple turnover, & strawberry white chocolate. They don't taste like yogurt and the texture isn't like typical yogurt.

I just wish I could find some place around here that offers water aerobics at a decent time like evenings or weekends...not during the day when I'm at work!!!

My doctor gave me the rule of as long as the pill is smaller than the eraser on a pencil it can be swallowed whole. I'm on Apri Tabs and they are very small. You may want to check with your doctor.

scale whore...lol!!! I am a scale whore also weighing myself several times today. I made an agreement today with my hubby that he would hide the scale from me. Only on Thursday evenings (since my appointments are usually on Friday) can I be reunited with my beloved scale! I miss my baby already. I am so pathetic...lol!

The majority of my weight loss to date was before I even thought about getting the band. When I started seeing my surgeon and modified my diet (again) in Sept, I lost about a total of 12lbs over 3 months, which I had cut calories to around 1500-1800 a day and continued with my exercise 2-3 times a week that I was doing before. I lost another 11 on my 2 week liquid diet, and only 9lbs since surgery 12/22, most of which was during the first two weeks after surgery when I could hardly eat! My clothes keep getting more lose, but I am not dropping lbs, so I am hoping that it's that whole I'm building muscle at the same time as losing fat. I did have this problem when I initially started my weight loss journey 3 1/2 years ago...lost a lot of inches but hardly any pounds. So, I mean over all I'm ok, it's just being an accountant I can't help but look at the numbers and trying to make sense of why this all isn't adding up like it typically should...which is making me frustrated and making me want to give up like I did when I stopped losing in 2008. I did kick it up a notch with my workout today and I had my first fill yesterday so hopefully things will start looking up, rather the scale will start moving down.

I was just sitting here thinking about that. I have been tracking my calories pretty well and am getting 900 - 1100 a day. Even if I missed something and round it up to 1200, for my weight and no activity level (even though I excercise 3 times a week) I should have lost at least 6 lbs in the 18 days between my most recent doctor visits. But I only lost 1.7lbs...what gives?!?!?!? Do I have the metabolism of a corpse!?!?

Just got my 1st fill like 10 minutes ago (waiting to meet with the excercise dude & the nut so I can leave) but I can already feel it just drinking water! Dr had to dig a bit but it didn't hurt, just felt pressure. They only have me down 1.7 lbs since 12-4 so I hope my fill gets thing going again! Hope everyone else is doing well!

I am also self-pay and had an HH repair when they put in my band, but it looks like they billed my insurance for the HH repair, and the insurance paid it! It would be nice if they billed for the lapband and that's what the insurance paid, lol!

wow, this is too funny! People getting upset over pretty much nothing. Some people identify as male or female, others feel they are somewhere in between or even outside, i.e. "other". Like what's your race: black, white, or other...I usually pick other because I'm black, white, indian, irish, mexican, and who knows what else! It's a poll...in other words answer it how you feel or don't answer at all.

Hmmm...well, I've been fat since I can remember! When I look at old photos, only the ones of me before the age of 5 did I look average size. Most of the women on both sides of my family are overweight. My brothers were average sized through school and only picked up weight as adults...still not really huge, though. My teenage daughter has been the same as me, overweight since about 5 years old. In high school I remember being about 225lbs. I had my daughter when I was 19 and got up to about 240lbs. I started Depo shots after I had her and by the next summer I'm not sure because I never when to an actual doctor for a while, just Planned Parenthood for the birth control, but I'm guessing I was close to 300lbs. I took a Water aerobics class in college and lost some, don't know how much just know that I got back down to size 26/28 pants. After that I joined a fitness club, don't remember what I weighed in at, but a week or so later, tore the cartilage in my knee and had to have surgery. Then tore it again a few months later for another surgery. Finally graduated college and started working full time and was a single mom, so I had no time nor money for a gym membership. Packed on some more pounds, met my husband, got pregnant at 28 and at my prenatal visit found out I was 325lbs. During the pregnancy, I got over 350lbs, because the scale at the Dr. office had a 350 max so my weight wouldn't register. Had my son and went on birth control. A year an a half later, my mom won a free 2 month membership for 2 at Curves, so we went there, found out I was just under 390lbs!!! So, I got down to about 345lbs going to Curves for a year then stopped losing. Joined another fitness club with more variety and lost about 15lbs, but they started getting so busy, I was waiting around more than working out. So, I bough my own treadmill and weights and I got down to 310lbs and then stopped losing. Well, actually I went back an forth from 310 to 315 for several months. then I got discouraged and started slacking off and not watching what I ate, and got back up to 340, which is when I decided to get lapband. Now I'm at 305, anxiously waiting to see 299! I hope I get my first fill this Friday so I can see my magic number by Valentines day! Long story, huh!

OMG, I was just talking to my hubby about my scale obsession the other day!! I weigh several times a day and will get myself all upset because of a stinking pound or two, even though my clothes are hangin off of me now! Funny how I used to roll my eyes at the skinny folks who whined "Oh, I gained 2 lbs!" and now I'm doing it. It's so pathetic. I'm really trying not to, but I think the only think that will keep me from weighing myself is if some one hides the scale!!! And I have a problem looking in the mirror every day several times a day to see if I can see changes anywhere...guess someone needs to hide the mirror too!

I would definitely bring it up to his boss/supervisor and he should be disciplined or written up. He should have known better, you NEVER discuss your employees' personal matters, especially health issues, with others! When my people call in sick, I have to let others on the team that they serve know that they will not be in, but I can't tell them why. He was wrong, ethically and possibly legally!

mine is a variation of my 2 middle names

I am an accounting supervisor at an apartment management company, mom to an almost 15 yr old & 5 yr old, and wifey to a 6'3" teddy bear. :-)

Dr. Rosen, LifeWeigh Bariatrics Downers Grove, IL / Merrillville, IN $15,500 includes 6 months office visits and fills and some of the pre-op blood work.

I started at Curves in June 2006. That was at my heaviest - 390lbs. I just did what I could, sweated a lot, sometimes got out of breath, but I just did my best, and eventually it got easier for me. I got to the point where Curves was no longer enough, I couldn't lose anymore working with their basic equipment, so I joined another gym that had more of a variety of things to do. I eventually bought a treadmill, weights, and excercise bike for my home and ended up losing a total of 80lbs before getting my band. I began to love excercise...blast some music and get going, and felt so good afterwards. But, then I couldn't lose anymore, got frustrated and started gaining weight, so I got the band. I'm actually miss working out...can't get back into them fully as I'm just 2 weeks post op! So, basically, just something, anything, whatever you can. Just getting up and shaking your tush to a little music is better than nothing at all!

I have no idea what it’s like to be “normal” size, and I’m getting kinda scared about it. I don’t know why, and it seems really dumb to me, but now that I’m so close to my surgery date and losing like crazy on this liquid pre-op diet, the possibility of being “normal” sized is becoming more real to me. I can already see a change in my face and my body, and it’s kind of freaking me out. I have never been anywhere close to ideal weight. Even in my preschool photos, I was very chubby. I remember even in elementary school having to shop in the plus section. I’m guessing my most “normal” weight was in 9th grade I was about 200lbs, but still, that was very overweight, I wore size 18/20. So, anyone else in my boat, never been at a healthy weight? Anyone else nervous? Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about being able to do things I haven’t been able to in a long time, like ride things at the amusement park, and things I’ve never been able to do like go on a plane without the extender, or buy clothes without having to go to Lane Bryant or Fashion Bug. Hell, for a while I couldn’t even shop at those places because I was too big, nearly 400lbs and had to shop at Catherines or buy clothes online! I should be down right excited, and I am, but, at the same time something about the whole thing has got me nervous.