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Riley - The Pannus/Mannus story is a hoot - you, Jess and Candra always make me smile. I hope we can figure out a date and place to meet up - liked the idea of someplace between north and east - I'm game for being the driver. Wow what a great story from Susan - was she one of the gal's sitting next to you yesterday? It is a process; I am dealing with telling some family members and friends and their reactions; for the most part positive, but some not so much. It is a challenge but the support groups are helping me keep the focus on the long term and reinforcing why I think this is a good choice for me. I think last week you wrote something about all the problems in your life that didn't go away /get fixed by your weight loss. One questions I keep thinking about is - did it help how you feel about you? your confidence your self esteem? I don't think it is going to fix my problems with my relationships or work, etc., but I keep thinking I am going to feel better about me and possibly project that different feeling and so things may indirectly get better because of it (for instance I've really lost alot of confidence at work and believe that I'm treated differently because of my weight and because I've lost my confidence.) I also really related to what you said yesterday and in your posts below about balance. I don't do balance very well in my life; I'm a work-aholic. And then everything after that goes to my family. I'm always a distant last, until now that I am trying to do this. Like you I believe balance is the key, just really hard to figure out how to do it.

Riley - It was wonderful to meet you finally - you look fantastic - really really great. (I loved learning about the binder clip and can't wait until I can use one!) Your energy and sense of humor is awesome. So I got up and did my exercise first thing this morning - you and Jess are my heroes! (Also bought a new scale yesterday after the meeting - all you < 40's won't relate, but I couldn't read the teeny tiny lines! It looks like I am down more, but will not change my ticker until I weigh at Kaiser on Thursday when I go for my Psych appt.) The group yesterday was great - such incredible stories of perserverance and hope. I didn't speak because I was mostly welling up listening and relating to the feelings. This weight affects so much more than just what size you are/how you look. Dave really got to me - he has so much courage. Thanks for hooking me up with the group and I will also try the Kaiser one on Thursday. Support, support, support! Riley, thanks again, you really are my inspiration. Can't wait to meet the rest of the gals here.

Riley - that is so great - congratulations. (That's my long term goal - to be a size 10 - haven't been there in so so long.) Really really happy for you!

Riley - I'll be there. The Wed night grp at Kaiser really helped with so many positive stories. I need that now since I'm getting lots of questions from friends and a few of the negative stories. You are so awesome with your exercise; i hope you and Jess can keep me motivated to really get my exercise going - I've been doing some but not consistant. Yeah, Riley - I had the same thought - the Big M. I'm almost 3 year through, but it ain't for wimps! I thought my migraines would go away with it and they haven't - they are better (really kicked my butt when I was at the height of M.) I guess its like everything - one day at a time. It was so good to meet Jess in person on Wed - can't wait to meet you too. All have a good day.

Jes - It was great to meet you tonight; you look terrific - so much different than your avitar pic. And your exercise is great - you need to kick me in the butt to do it- please??!!. I skipped today but I gotta get up and do it tomorrow. I liked the group; even with so many RNY's it was still really helpful and inspirational. So many success stories! Really encouraging. Even with weighing in at night, I'm down a pound from last week's surgeon appt. - its moving in the right direction so I'm not going to complain. So officially 10 down and 10 to go for surgery goal wt after 3 weeks. The 1200 cal is a little boring but its working. Riley - sounds like a tough day - tomorrow will be better. Candra - protein is good! Pam - congratulations - a smaller size always feels good! (I've got boxes of every size almost - this time I'm giving them aways as I go back down - not gaining this back ever again!) Nicole - think'n positive thoughts for you Conolie, Marquint, everyone else - welcome it is a really good group. Good night all.

Just came on to say hi ladies and good night. Tough day - getting some tough questions from all the emails I sent to friends and family about this process. I catch up with all of your posts everynight - what a great group - you mean alot to me already and I haven't met anyone yet in person! Well, tomorrow is another day Jes maybe we will connect tomorrow Night at the Richmond support group.

Nicole - So sorry about your situation - you are in my prayers. Here are some hotline numbers - many of the programs have help for transition. Marin Abused Womens services has a transitional housing program and they help with jobs and child care and lots of support. Their # 415-924-6616; The hotline in Yuba City is 530-623-4357 and the one in Sac is 866-92-2952; Contra Costa county is 888-215-5555. We are all here for you.

Riley - Yes I got the notice and am planning to go. As it gets closer, let me know if you will be able to make it and maybe we can figure out a way to find each other. I'll try to figure out how to send you a private message on here (still learn' this site) with my cell phone. Hey everyone, since I wrote the long email telling my sisters and girlfriend what I am doing and why, I have gotten back some really nice notes of encouragement and support. Only one person so far has said they wished I could do it without surgery. It feels really good that the women I'm closest to are behind me. All - I have a couple of questions. For the Richmond Support group on Wed do they weigh you? If so, do you have to get there early? Also do you get weighed when you go in for the Psych appt or do you need to schedule a separate weigh appt for the same time? For the monthly meeting on 10/24 where do you meet and what time? Riley - could we maybe carpool if you are going?

Jess - you are doing so great! 13 lbs in 3 weeks! Way to go girl! You are my other inspiration on here!:thumbup:

Heather - I feel for you and know how hard it is. I didn't go to college after high school and then went back when I was working full time. It is really hard to do both, but I'm really glad I stuck it out. Something that can never be taken away from you :thumbup:. It took me 3 times to get done - I did my 2 year then moved out here to CA and then went back to finish my 4 year and had to drop out after I got behind when my Dad died. I finally went back many years and 2 kids later to study something totally different than what my job is - it was really for me. It was hard - I didn't have a life just work/school and a little family time, but I am so glad I finally did it (graduated 10 years ago). I don't know if this will help, but the last time I tried to lose weight, I told myself that I needed to try to figure out how to manage doing it with all the stress from my work; in other words the stresser are a normal part of life - I knew I needed to learn to get my weight / eating under control while under stress. Only you can answer if it is too much and if your weight loss focus is not going to get the attention it needs. I just think that trying to accept that doing it with the stress is something eventually we all have to deal with. But I do know what you are going through. I really want to go back for a Masters, but it is so hard to work and go to school and have a life that I haven't done it. All I can tell you from my point of view at 53 is that it keeps getting harder to go back and do the studying and juggle the working the older you get! I here for you either way. Your weight loss and your education are both worthy goals.

Riley - so sorry it was such a tough night. Diabetes is awful (family member experience). And being a mom never ends; I think I worry about my boys more now than when they were little guys. Take care of yourself. Nicole - you do need to believe in yourself; your weight loss is awesome. So glad you are getting your confidence up there. Way to go! Go slow though - I married my safe rebound guy after my abusive 1st husband and it was a mistake. With a really good guy now (for the last 25 years) but it took me a while to find him. All - I took the big step of starting to tell people I am close to about my process and decision for weigh loss surgery. Sent a long letter/email to all my sisters (4) and my closest girl friends. For me, I think it is important to tell people and let them know what has been going on with me and why I am doing this. I need all the support I can get and some of my weight problem is I keep too much in (you know - stuff the feelings down - and stuff them down with food.) Hoping to get back on my exercise today.

Riley - I hope everything is OK with your son - it can be so scary. You're weight loss is amazing - you are really my inspiration about really seeing this work. I really want to do the 10K next year! Thanks for the encouragement - I agree that really using this as a tool and not thinking it is a magic bullet is the right and realistic way to approach it. I can't imagine being only 20 lbs away from goal weight - can't remember how long ago I was only 20 lbs over weight. Way to go!! Since we live so close, maybe we can get together to say hi. All - the 50th Wedding Anniversary party was fun - they are such a great couple. I'm still blown away by 50 years together! I did really well considering all the food that there was. I ate larger portions but stuck to green salad/veggies and trip tip with BBQ sauce (yum) and had a good amount of fruit salad (although it had some kind of sweet yogurt dressing in it)for dessert instead of the cake. And no dinner tonight. Proud of myself because the other stuff, especially the chocolate cake was tempting. But having this goal means more to me right now I guess. We're off again tomorrow early to my sister's place up north of Cloverdale to help pick graped and bottle wine - also suppose to be a b'day party for one of our mutual friends so hope there are good choices there re: food. I'm in for vacaville - weekend would be better, but I work at home on Friday's so could get done earlier.

Ladies - I sent out friend requests to most of you that I see on here regularly so you can view my pictures - I added a few of my boys and me who are the reasons I'm doing this. I want to be around a long time for them. Ok Now it really is good night!

Analynn - you crack me up about the meatheads and their sweat! I'm not exercising anything like you are but we have some equipment in our garage that my son and husband use a lot. Since I started a little bit 2 weeks ago, I went out and there was sweat all over the back of my exercise bike (yuk!)- I told them that I thought in real gyms there were suppose to be towels and the etiquette (sp?) was you wiped your sweat off the stuff for the next person. They said we didn't have a sissy gym! LOL. Jess - you sound like you are doing great. Are you going to go to the Kaiser Richmond support group on Wed? How about you Analynn? I was hoping to finally meet some of you in person. Riley - you have so much great info and insights. I read on the other support group list you sent me about the 10K and how great it was. Your pics were great and you look terrific. Thanks for the support - I'm feeling a little more confident that this can really work. I gotta tell you all the things you read and they talk about going wrong has been scary and I've been stressin about it. Just really want to be sure I don't regret this later. I guess I am also worried about telling some people in my family. Someone on here mentioned the stigma that people have about this being "the easy way". And I think some people in my family are going to think it is too extreme - you know the old "just exert a little more will power" stuff. It's one of the reasons I get on this site every night because I really feel like people here are on my side. Hey Jess - to answer your question about do'in any thing fun this weekend, we are going to my husband's aunt and uncle's 50th surprise wedding anniversary party. Wow 50 years - isn't that amazing and great? The invitation has their wedding picture and I swear they look about as old as my 16 year-old. So cute! Wish me luck with the eating - also going to a birthday party on Sunday. I'm stressing a little about the eating thing cause I really don't want to blow it / go off. Ok Nite Ladies!

Jes - Dr. Park told me the bands are put in with some saline - she said 'they are primed with saline.' She also said that it does constrict that part of the stomach just by attaching it. BTW - are you only drinking in between eating - not drinking half hour before and not 1 hr after? Besides the caffine thing, that adjustment seemed like it would be the hardest to get use to.

Hi Ladies - I missed you tonight since I worked late and didn't get home 'til 10. I was starving - hadn't eaten since noon - guess I know why Robin says 3 meals 4-6hr apart! I ate extra but nothing bad - tried to go for protein. If I hit the carbs I'll never stop! Candra - LOL about the presidents & Dr. Schnurr - just you wait until you get to be my age and hit the Big M - your brain turns to mushies. My girlfriends call it CRS disease - Can't remember s*! I get Dr. Schnurr too in 2 weeks so I'll have to practice. She'll have fun with me - I have a checkered past so we'll see if I pass! Analynn - hang in we'll get it off! You've done great and your exercise is awesome - you need to give me pep talks. I try to only weigh once a week otherwise it makes me crazy. NO carbs OK? Maria - One question - when the case manager gave you your date was there any choice or could you have asked to do it later? I'm thinking I might be ready in Nov and not really sure I want to have surgery during the Christmas holidays. Pam - Yes, Dr. Park said OK for my 1 cup of caffinated tea a day post surgery. She said the guidelines are written to the lowest common denominator and that since the fluid goes through to the rest of the stomach there really isn't a chance of irritation/ulcer. You bring up a good point about appetite stimulant, but I don't think my 1 cup is doing that. Right now, I'm drinking it mid morning and it is actually helping with my hunger. Nicole - thinking alot about you. Glad Jes is saying prayers. Hey is anyone going to the Richmond Support Group meeting next Wednesday (10/7)? I was planning to go. Do they weigh you at that? Also do you get weighed at the Psych appt? OK nite all. Tomorrow is TGIF thank god!

Nicole - I know we haven't met yet, but I am really really concerned about you. Mike said ''that's why "we" are getting counseling', but he is the one that is losing control. Marin Abused Women's Services (I use to be a counselor there)started one of the first programs for men/abusers in the whole country many years ago and they have had some success, but only when the guys can accept the responsibility, own that it is their problem and that they have to change how they behave/deal with anger. My concern is that he will try to pin some of the responsibility on you - 'if only you would do xyz or if only you wouldn't do abc' then he wouldn't get so angry and lose it. But it isn't about what you do or don't do. He is responsble for losing control and what he does. There isn't anything that you do or not do that warrants him being physical. I really hope you will think about yourself in this and, of course your baby. My own experience mirrors what you will read about in domestic violence - it started with a shove, then an arm grab until the day I left when someone told me "my face looked like a Mac truck hit it." It escalates and every time there were apologies and gifts. But always the justification for the beatings was something I did or didn't do to provoke the anger. He also came from a family history of violence (father, grandfather, grandmother) so he learned that behavior. Auds will learn from this too and not what you want her to learn from it. I know its hard and I know you want to believe he will change and I know its really hard to think about how you would survive on your own. I really believe there is help out there for you and I really want you to be safe. Sorry for going on and on, but as you can tell I am really passionate about this.

Hi Ladies - Had my surgeon appt today with Dr. Parks. I really like her and she took a lot of time with me and my husband. Got all my questions answered. Like Jes said the scales are different, which I thought I had accounted for, but I wasn't down the full 10 lbs like it looks like I am at home - instead only 8.5. Still for 2.5 weeks it isn't bad. Good news, my surgery weight loss goal is 20 lbs - so only 11.5 more to go. Other good news from talking to Dr. Park: I don't have to cut out my daily cup of caffeine (it was the one thing on the list I just really couldn't figure out how I was going to - I'm not a morning person and I neeeeeed it!) Probably the best part was the way she ended the visit (after we spent 45 min talking about all the complications and potential problems and things that you have to be really mindful of and the statistics about LAP-BAND® weigh loss not reaching full weight loss,) she said that people with BMIs in the 40's usually do really well and many reach their goal weight - she has had lots of patients that do. It was so encouraging. This is a big decision and it has risks and no guarantees, but it really helped to hear that she really thought I could do it. Jes - I was looking at your ticker and you've lost 11 pounds in 2 weeks since your surgery - that is really really good. If you think about it - how long has it taken us to lose that kind of weight in the past (not to mention how fast we have been able to that amount). Sorry it feels frustrating - I just really think you are doing great! Analyn - we might be going through what Jes and Candra are around the same time given what we have left to lose. Sorry you are struggling - like I told you last night it is really hard. Its nice to know you aren't struggling alone. (At least tonight they ate up those Cold stone cup cakes!!!) I am really impressed with your work out (don't forget that when you work out you build muscle which weighs more - and like you said the water weight and hormones). Now that it feels like this might happen pretty quickly I am excited and also scared. Its a big step. How are you doing with that part of it?

John Wow! You are an inspiration for perserverance.. and 85 lbs is awesome. Thanks for sharing. I just found out about someone I work with who had Lap Band surgery and it didn't work for her. I am meeting her next week to find out the details. She did tell me her brother had the Sleeve surgery around the same time she had the band and he has had much better results - wanted to share to give you encouragement to stick with it. Analyn - Great news about how well you are doing and losing. The 1200 cal is really really hard - I was hungry all last week and now all this week. I've been adding extra but of the good stuff like veggies or protein. Tonight was hard - it was my husband's birthday and there are now 2 Coldstone ice cream cup cakes in the freezer calling to me! I'm trying to ignore them but they are kinda loud. I got my scale at Weight Watchers years ago - it was pretty cheap - it isn't digital but it works fine. I do weigh and measure alot - not my veggies so much, but my protein, yogurt, some of my frut. I'm really trying to stick to this because I'm bound and determined this is the last time I lose this F*!X&^% weight. Jes - sorry its getting hard; reading you makes me understand why they do give 4 weeks off - I can't imagine dealing with all of this and being hungry plus dealing with the stress of work. Meeting in Vacaville sounds good - closer than Sac for me - hope we can work it out. Candra - you crack me up every night when I catch up on your posts; I can't wait to meet you in person. Riley - you need to tell us more about the 10K - how did you feel? What was it like?

Nicole I am so sorry about what happened. I know you don't know me yet, but I was in your shoes many many years ago. Most of the time the physical stuff escalates and escalates. And there is nothing that justifies hurting you and you aren't responsible for him losing control. Please take care of yourself and Auds. I've done work at a woman's shelter and they really are there to help keep you safe and help you get on your feet. Just know that you aren't alone and from reading this site there are a few of us who have been there and can offer you alot of support and encouragement. We all have strength we don't know we have.

Candra - thanks for the names. Wow you look great and really different from your avatar pic. Thanks for the encouragement about my 10 lbs - the 1200 Cal is really getting to me - I'm hungry alot, but I'm sticking to it - looking at some of the other goal weights I'm hoping when I go in Wed that Dr. Parks might not make me lose 10% - otherwise it is going to be a white knuckle ride on the 1200. Annalyne - we were at orientation together. Great to see you online. I have Dr. Park too - meet her for first time Wed. Jes - glad you are doing better. I feel reading you and Candra that I have a realistic picture of what to expect after surgery. Hope it isn't banster hell for you yet. Protein helps me when I'm hungry and staying away from sweet - Candra seems to be eating alot of protein. I get what you are saying about the liquids. I did a liquid diet 2 year ago - lost a ton of weight but gained it back. I tried to go back on it earlier this year and couldn't make it work..just wanted something to chew... When is the get together in October - I really want to meet everyone in person? Also any of you going to the Richmond support group meetings on 10/7 or 10/21?

John I'm new to the site and considering LAP-BAND® - my surgeon appt is Wed. Would you mind telling me why your 2 LAP-BAND® surgeries falled? Thanks,

Candra Thanks for the info on the 1200 cal. Can you put tell me all the names of the gals in the attached picture. I think a recognize you and Jess. I really want to meet the gang. Also one of the gals on the left looks like she was at my orientation. Hey after 2 weeks I am down 10 lbs. - not alot based on where everyone else is, but I'm excited. It was hard work this last week. I am doing good staying away from the sugar - if I go there it gets ugly!! BYW - how to I get my picture up on the side with my user name?